C001. Brer Rabbit and the Calamus Root

1. Uncle Remus Initiates the Little Boy. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER RABBIT and the CALAMUS ROOT

By and by, one day, after Brer Fox been doing all that he could for to catch Brer Rabbit, and Brer Rabbit been doing all he could for to keep him from it, Brer Fox say to hisself that he'd put up a game on Brer Rabbit, and he ain't more than got the words out of his mouth till when Brer Rabbit came a loping up the big road, looking just as plump, and as fat, and as sassy as a Morgan horse in a barley-patch.

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"Hol' on there, Brer Rabbit," says Brer Fox, says he.

"I ain't got time, Brer Fox," says Brer Rabbit, says he, sort of mending his licks.

"I wan' to have some confab with you, Brer Rabbit," says Brer Fox, says he.

"All right, Brer Fox, but you better holler from where you stan'. I'm monst'ous full of fleas this mornin'," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

"I seed Brer Bear yesterday," says Brer Fox, says he, "an' he sort of rake me over the coals 'cause you an' me ain't make friends an' live neighborly, an' I tol' him that I'd see you."

Then Brer Rabbit scratch one ear with his off hind foot sort of dubiously, and then he ups and says, says he, "All a settin', Brer Fox. S'posin' you drop roun' tomorrow an' take dinner with me. We ain't got no great doin's at our house, but I 'spect the ol' woman an' de chilluns can sort of scramble roun' an' get up somethin' for to stay yo' stomach."

"I'm 'greeable, Brer Rabbit," says Brer Fox, says he.

"Then I'll depen' on you," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

Next day, Mr. Rabbit and Miss Rabbit got up soon, before day, and raided on a garden, and got some cabbages, and some roasting ears, and some sparrow-grass, and they fix up a smashing dinner.

By and by one of the little Rabbits, playing out in the back yard, come running in hollering, "Oh, ma! Oh, ma! I seed Mr. Fox a comin'!"

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And then Brer Rabbit he took the chilluns by their ears and make 'em set down, and then him and Miss Rabbit sort of dally round waiting for Brer Fox. And they keep on waiting for Brer Fox. And they keep on waiting, but no Brer Fox ain't come.

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After awhile Brer Rabbit goes to the door, easy like, and peep out, and there, sticking from behind the corner, was the tip-end of Brer Fox tail.

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Then Brer Rabbit shut the door and sat down, and put his paws behind his ears and begin for to sing,

The place wher'bouts you spill the grease,
Right there you're boun' to slide,
An' where you fin' a bunch of hair,
You'll surely fin' the hide.

Next day, Brer Fox sent word by Mr. Mink, and excuse hisself 'cause he was too sick for to come, and he ask Brer Rabbit for to come and take dinner with him, and Brer Rabbit say he was agreeable.

By and by, when the shadows was at their shortest, Brer Rabbit he sort of brush up and saunter down to Brer Fox's house, and when he got there, he hear somebody groaning, and he look in the door and there he see Brer Fox setting up in a rocking-chair all wrap up with flannel, and he look mighty weak.

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Brer Rabbit look all round, he did, but he ain't see no dinner. The dish-pan was setting on the table, and close by was a carving knife.

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"Look like you goin' to have chicken for dinner, Brer Fox," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Yes, Brer Rabbit, they are nice, an' fresh, an' tender," says Brer Fox, says he.

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Then Brer Rabbit sort of pull his mustache, and say, "You ain't got no calamus root, is you, Brer Fox? I done got so now that I can't eat no chicken 'ceptin' she's seasoned up with calamus root."

And with that Brer Rabbit leaped out of the door and dodge among the bushes, and sat there watching for Brer Fox; and he ain't watch long, neither, 'cause Brer Fox flung off the flannel and crept out of the house and got where he could close in on Brer Rabbit, and by and by Brer Rabbit holler out, "Oh, Brer Fox! I'll jus' put yo' calamus root out here on this here stump. Better come get it while it's fresh," and with that Brer Rabbit gallop off home.

And Brer Fox ain't never catch him yet, and what's more, he ain't going to.

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C002. Brer Rabbit and the Tar-Baby

2. The Wonderful Tar-baby Story. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

This story follows Uncle Remus Initiates the Little Boy as you'll see from the reference to the calamus root at the beginning and at the end of the story.

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BRER RABBIT and the TAR-BABY

One day after Brer Rabbit fool him with that calamus root, Brer Fox went to work and got him some tar, and mix it with some turpentine, and fix up a contraption what he call a Tar-Baby, and he took this here Tar-Baby and he sat her in the big road, and then he lay off in the bushes for to see what the news was going to be.

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And he didn't have to wait long, neither, 'cause by and by here come Brer Rabbit pacing down the road — lippity-clippity, clippity-lippity — just as sassy as a jaybird. Brer Fox, he lay low.

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Brer Rabbit come prancing along till he spy the Tar-Baby, and then he fetch up on his behind legs like he was  astonished.

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The Tar Baby, she sat there, she did, and Brer Fox, he lay low.

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"Mornin'!" says Brer Rabbit, says he — "Nice weather this mornin'," says he.

Tar-Baby ain't saying' nothing, and Brer Fox he lay low.

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"How does yo' sym'toms seem to segashuate?" says Brer Rabbit, says he.

Brer Fox, he wink his eye slow, and lay low, and the Tar-Baby, she ain't saying nothing.

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"How you come on, then? Is you deaf?" says Brer Rabbit, says he. "'Cause if you is, I can holler louder," says he.

Tar-Baby stay still, and Brer Fox, he lay low.

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"You is stuck up, that's what you is," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "an' I'm goin' to cure you, that's what I'm a goin' to do," says he.

Brer Fox, he sort of chuckle in his stomach, he did, but Tar-Baby ain't saying nothing.

"I'm goin' to learn you how to talk to 'spectable folks if it's the las' act," says Brer Rabbit, says he. "If you don't take off that hat an' tell me howdy, I'm goin' to bus' you wide open," says he.

Tar-Baby stay still, and Brer Fox, he lay low.

Brer Rabbit keep on asking him, and the Tar-Baby, she keep on saying nothing, till presently Brer Rabbit draw back with his fist, he did, and blip he took her side of the head. Right there's where he broke his molasses jug. His fist stuck, and he can't pull loose. The tar hold him. But Tar-Baby, she stay still, and Brer Fox, he lay low.

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"If you don't let me loose, I'll knock you again," says Brer Rabbit, says he, and with that he fetch her a wipe with the other hand, and that stuck. Tar-Baby, she ain't saying nothing, and Brer Fox, he lay low.

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"Turn me loose, 'fore I kick the nat'ral stuffin' out of you," says Brer Rabbit, says he, but the Tar-Baby, she ain't saying nothing. She just hold on, and then Brer Rabbit lose the use of his feet in the same way. Brer Fox, he lay low.

Den Brer Rabbit squall out that if the Tar-Baby don't turn him loose he butt her cranksided. And then he butted, and his head got stuck. Then Brer Fox, he sauntered forth, looking just as innocent as one of mammy's mocking-birds.

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"Howdy, Brer Rabbit," says Brer Fox, says he. "You look sort of stuck up this mornin'," says he, and then he rolled on the ground, an' laughed and laughed till he couldn't laugh no more.

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"I 'spect you'll take dinner with me this time, Brer Rabbit. I done laid in some calamus root, an' I ain't goin' to take no 'scuse," says Brer Fox, says he.

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C004. Brer Rabbit and the Brier Patch

4. How Mr. Rabbit Was Too Sharp for Mr. Fox. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER RABBIT and the BRIER-PATCH

When Brer Fox find Brer Rabbit mixed up with the Tar-Baby, he feel mighty good, and he roll on the ground and laugh.

By and by he up and say, says he, "Well, I 'spect I got you this time, Brer Rabbit," says he; "maybe I ain't, but I 'spect I is. You been runnin' roun' here sassin' after me a mighty long time, but I 'spect you done come to the en' of the row. You been cuttin' up yo' capers and bouncin' 'roun' in this neighborhood till you come to b'lieve yo'se'f the boss of the whole gang. An' then you off always somewheres where you got no business," says Brer Fox, says he. "Who ask you for to come and strike up a 'quaintance with this here Tar-Baby? An' who stuck you up there where you is? Nobody in the roun' worl'. You jus' took and jam yo'se'f on that Tar-Baby without waitin' for any invite," says Brer Fox, says he, "an' there you is, and there you'll stay till I fixes up a brush-pile an' fires her up, 'cause I'm goin' to barbecue you this day, sure," says Brer Fox, says he.

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Then Brer Rabbit talk mighty humble. "I don't care what
you do with me, Brer Fox," says he, "so you don't fling me in that brier-patch. Roas' me, Brer Fox," says he, "but don't fling me in that brier-patch," says he.

"It's so much trouble for to kindle a fire," says Brer Fox, says he, "that I 'spect I'll have to hang you," says he.

"Hang me just as high as you please, Brer Fox," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "but do for the Lord's sake don't fling me in that brier-patch," says he.

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"I ain't got no string," says Brer Fox, says he, "an' now I 'spect I'll have drown you," says he.

"Drown me just as deep as you please, Brer Fox," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "but do don't fling me in that brier-patch," says he.

"There ain't no water nigh," says Brer Fox, says he, "an' now I 'spect I'll have to skin you," says he.

"Skin me, Brer Fox," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "snatch out my eyeballs, tear out my ears by the roots, and cut off my legs," says he, "but do please, Brer Fox, don't fling me in that brier-patch," says he.

Course Brer Fox want to hurt Brer Rabbit bad as he can, so he catch him by the behind legs and slung him right in the middle of the brier-patch.

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There was a considerable flutter where Brer Rabbit struck the bushes, and Brer Fox sort of hang 'round for to see what was going to happen.

By and by he hear somebody call him, and way up the hill he see Brer Rabbit sitting crosslegged on a chinkapin log combing the pitch out of his hair with a chip. Then Brer Fox know that he been swap off mighty bad.

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Brer Rabbit was pleased for to fling back some of his sass, and he holler out, "Bred and born in a brier-patch, Brer Fox—bred and born in a brier-patch!"

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And with that he skip out just as lively as a cricket in the embers.

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C007. Brer Rabbit Rides Brer Fox Again

7. Mr. Fox Is Again Victimized. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER RABBIT RIDES BRER FOX AGAIN

Well, Brer Rabbit rid Brer Fox up, he did, and tied him to the rack, and then sat out in the piazza with the gals a-smoking on his cigar with more proudness than what you most ever see.

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They talk, and they sing, and they play on the piano, the gals did, till by and by it come time for Brer Rabbit for to be going, and he tell 'em all good-by, and strut out to the horse-rack same's if he was the king of the patter-rollers, and then he mount Brer Fox and ride off.

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Brer Fox ain't saying nothing at all. He just rack off, he did, and keep his mouth shut, and Brer Rabbit knowed there was business cooking up for him, and he feel monstrous skittish. Brer Fox amble on till he get in the long lane, out of sight of Miss Meadows's house, and then he turn loose, he did.

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He rip and he rear, and he cuss, and he swear; he snort and he cavort. He was trying for to fling Brer Rabbit off of his back, bless your soul! But he just might as well of wrestle with his own shadow.

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Every time he hump hisself Brer Rabbit slap the spurrers in him, and there they had it, up and down.

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Brer Fox fairly tore up the ground he did, and he jump so high and he jump so quick that he mighty nigh snatch his own tail off.

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They kept on going on this way till by and by Brer Fox lay down and roll over, he did, and this sort of unsettle Brer Rabbit, but by the time Brer Fox got back on his footses again, Brer Rabbit was going through the underbrush more samer than a race-horse.

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Brer Fox he lit out after him, he did, and he push Brer Rabbit so close that it was about all he could do for to get in a hollow tree. Hole too little for Brer Fox for to get in, and he had to lay down and rest and gather his mind together.

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While he was laying there, Mr. Buzzard come flopping along, and seeing Brer Fox stretch out on the ground, he lit and view the premises. Then Mr. Buzzard sort of shake his wing, and put his head on one side, and say to hisself like, says he, "Brer Fox dead, an' I so sorry," says he.

"No I ain't dead, neither," says Brer Fox, says he. "I got ole man Rabbit pent up in here," says he, "an' I'm a goin' to get him this time if it take till Christmas," says he.

Then, after some more palaver, Brer Fox make a bargain that Mr. Buzzard was to watch the hole, and keep Brer Rabbit there whiles Brer Fox went after his axe. Then Brer Fox, he lope off, he did, and Mr. Buzzard, he took up his stand at the hole.

By and by, when all get still, Brer Rabbit sort of scramble down close to the hole, he did, and holler out, "Brer Fox! Oh! Brer Fox!"

Brer Fox done gone, and nobody say nothing. Then Brer Rabbit squall out like he was mad; says he, "You needn't talk 'less you want to," says he; "I knows you are there, and I ain't carin'," says he. "I just want to tell you that I wish mighty bad Brer Tukkey Buzzard was here," says he.

Then Mr. Buzzard try to talk like Brer Fox, "What you want with Mr. Buzzard?" says he.

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"Oh, nothing in particular, 'cept there's the fattest gray squirrel in here that ever I see," says he, "an' if Brer Turkey Buzzard was 'round he'd be mighty glad for to get 'im," says he.

"How Mr. Buzzard goin' to get 'im?" says the Buzzard, says he.

"Well, there's a little hole 'round on the other side of the tree," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "an' if Brer Turkey Buzzard was here so he could take up his stand there," says he, "I'd drive that squirrel out," says he.

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"Drive him out, then," says Mr. Buzzard, says he, "an' I'll see that Brer Turkey Buzzard gets 'im," says he.

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Then Brer Rabbit kick up a racket, like he were driving something out, and Mr. Buzzard he rush 'round for to catch the squirrel, and Brer Rabbit, he dash out, he did, and he just fly for home.

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C009. Brer Rabbit and Sis Cow

9. Miss Cow Falls a Victim to Mr. Rabbit. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material.

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BRER RABBIT and SIS COW

Brer Rabbit went skipping along home, he did, just as sassy as a jay-bird at a sparrow's nest. He went galloping along, he did, but he feel mighty tired out, and stiff in his joints, and he was mighty nigh dead for something for to drink, and by and by, when he got almost home, he spied ole Miss Cow feeding round in a field, he did, and he determined for to try his hand with her.

Brer Rabbit know mighty well that Miss Cow won't give him no milk, 'cause she done refuse him more than once, and when his old woman was sick, at that.

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But never mind that. Brer Rabbit sort of dance up along side of the fence, he did, and holler out, "Howdy, Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Why, howdy, Brer Rabbit," say Miss Cow, say she.

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"How you fine yo'self these days, Sis Cow?" say Brer Rabbit, says he.

"I'm sort of tolerable, Brer Rabbit; how you come on?" say Miss Cow, say she.

"Oh, I'm just tolerable myself, Sis Cow; sort of lingerin' 'twixt a bauk an' a break-down," say Brer Rabbit, says he.

"How yo' folks, Brer Rabbit?" say Miss Cow, say she.

"They are just middlin', Sis Cow; how Brer Bull getting on?" say Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Sort of so-so," say Miss Cow, say she.

"There are some mighty nice 'simmons up this tree, Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he, "an' I'd like mighty well for to have some of 'em," says he.

"How you going to get 'em, Brer Rabbit?" say she.

"I allowed maybe that I might ask you for to butt 'gainst the tree, an' shake some down, Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he.

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Course Miss Cow don't want to discommodate Brer Rabbit, and she march up to the persimmon tree, she did, and hit it a rap with her horns—blam! Now, then, them persimmons was green as grass, and nary one never drop. Then Miss Cow butt the tree—blim! Nary persimmon drop. Then Miss Cow sort of back off little, and run against the tree—blip! No persimmons never drop. Then Miss Cow back off little further, she did, and hoist her tail on her back, and come against the tree, kerblam! and she come so fast, and she come so hard, till one her her horns went spang through the tree, and there she was. She can't go forwards, and she can't go backwards.

This exactly what Brer Rabbit waiting for, and he no sooner seed ole Miss Cow all fastened up than he jump up, he did, and cut the pigeon-wing.

"Come help me out, Brer Rabbit," say Miss Cow, say she.

"I can't climb, Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he, "but I'll run an' tell Brer Bull," says he; and with that Brer Rabbit put out for home, and it weren't long 'fore here he come with his ole woman and all his chilluns, and every last one of the family was toting a pail. The big ones had big pails, and the little ones had little pails.

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And they all surrounded ole Miss Cow, they did, and they milked her dry.

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The ole ones milked and the young ones milked, and then when they done got enough, Brer Rabbit, he up and say, says he, "I wish you mighty well, Sis Cow. I 'lowed, bein's how that you'd had to sort of camp out all night that I'd better come and suage yo' bag," says he.

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When cows don't get milked, their bag swells, and you can hear 'em a-moaning and a-bellering just like they was getting hurted. That's what Brer Rabbit done. He assembled his family, he did, and he suage ole Miss Cow's bag.

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Miss Cow, she stood there, she did, and she study and study, and strive for to break loose, but the horn done been jam in the tree so tight that it was way before day in the morning before she loose it. Anyhow it was enduring of the night, and after she get loose she sort of graze 'round, she did, for to justify her stomach she allowed, ole Miss Cow did, that Brer Rabbit be hopping along that way for to see how she getting on, and she took and lay a trap for him; and just about sunrise what'd ole Miss Cow do but march up to the persimmon tree and stick of horn back in the hole? But, bless your soul, while she was cropping the grass she took one mouthful too many, 'cause when she hitch on to the persimmon tree again, Brer Rabbit was setting in the fence corner a-watching un her.

Then Brer Rabbit he say to hisself, "Heyo," says he, "what this your going on now? Hold yo' horses, Sis Cow, till you hear me comin'," says he.

And then he crept off down the fence, Brer Rabbit did, and by and by here he come—lippity-clippity, clippity-lippity—just a-sailing down the big road.

"Mornin', Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he, "how you come on this mornin'?" says he.

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"Poorly, Brer Rabbit, poorly," say Miss Cow, say she. "I ain't had no rest all night," say she. "I can't pull loose," say she, "but if you'll come and catch hold of my tail, Brer Rabbit," say she, "I reckon may be I can fetch my horn out," say she.

Then Brer Rabbit, he come up little closer, but he ain't getting too close. "I 'spect I'm nigh enough, Sis Cow," say Brer Rabbit, says he. "I'm a mighty puny man, and I might get trampled," says he. "You do the pullin', Sis Cow,' says he, and I'll do the gruntin," says he.

Then Miss Cow, she pull out her horn, she did, and took after Brer Rabbit, and down the big road they had it, Brer Rabbit with his ears laid back, and Miss Cow with her head down and her tail curl. Brer Rabbit kept on gaining, and by and by he dart in a brier-patch, and by the time Miss Cow come long he had his head sticking out, and his eyes look big as Miss Sally's china saucers.

"Heyo, Sis Cow! Whar you goin'?" say Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Howdy, Brer Big-Eyes," say Miss Cow, say she. "Is you seed Brer Rabbit go by?"

"He just this minute pass," say Brer Rabbit, says he, "an' he look mighty sick," says he.

And with that, Miss Cow took down the road like the dogs was after her, and Brer Rabbit, he just lay down there in the brier-patch and roll and laugh till his sides hurted him. He pleased to laugh. Fox after him, Buzzard after him, and Cow after him, and they ain't catch him yet.

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C011. News of Brer Fox's Death

11. Mr. Wolf Makes a Failure. Text Source: Uncle Remus, His Songs and His Sayings by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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NEWS of BRER FOX'S DEATH

Brer Fox feel so bad, and he get so mad about Brer Rabbit,  that he don't know what to do, and he look mighty down-hearted. By and by, one day whiles he was going along the road, old Brer Wolf come up with him.

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When they done howdying and asking after one another's family connection, Brer Wolf, he allow, he did, that there was something wrong with Brer Fox, and Brer Fox, he allowed there weren't, and he went on and laugh and make great to do 'cause Brer Wolf look like he suspicion something.

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But Brer Wolf, he got mighty long head, and he sort of broach about Brer Rabbit's carryings on, 'cause the way that Brer Rabbit deceive Brer Fox done got to be the talk of the neighborhood.

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Then Brer Fox and Brer Wolf they sort of palavered on, they did, till by and by Brer Wolf heup andsay that he done got plan fix for to trap Brer Rabbit. Then Brer Fox say how. Den Brer Wolf up and tell him that the way for to get the drop on Brer Rabbit was to get him in Brer Fox house. Brer Fox don't know Brer Rabbit of old, and he know that sort of game done wore to a frazzle, but Brer Wolf, he talk mighty persuading.

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"How you gonna get him there?" says Brer Fox, says he.

"Fool him there," says Brer Wolf, says he.

"Who gonna do the foolin'?" says Brer Fox, says he.

"I'll do the foolin'," says Brer Wolf, says he, "if you'll do the gamin'," says he.

"How you gonna do it?" says Brer Fox, says he.

"You run 'long home, an' get on the bed, an' make like you dead, an' don't you say nothin' till Brer Rabbit come an' put his hands onto you," says Brer Wolf, says he, "an' if we don't get him for supper, Joe's dead an' Sal's a widow," says he.

This look like mighty nice game, and Brer Fox agreed. So then he amble off home, and Brer Wolf, he march off to Brer Rabbit house. When he got there, it look like nobody at home, but Brer Wolf he walk up and knock on the door—blam! blam! Nobody come. Then he lam aloose and knock again—blim! blim!

"Who there?" says Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Friend," says Brer Wolf.

"Too many friends spoils the dinner," says Brer Rabbit, says he; "which one's this?" says he.

"I fetch bad news, Brer Rabbit," says Brer Wolf, says he.

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"Bad news is soon told," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

By this time Brer Rabbit done come to the door, with his head tied up in a red handkerchief.

"Brer Fox died this mornin'," says Brer Wolf, says he.

"Where your mournin' gown, Brer Wolf?" says Brer Rabbit, says he.

"Goin' after it now," says Brer Wolf, says he. "I just call by for to bring the news. I went down to Brer Fox house little bit ago, an' there I found him stiff," says he.

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Den Brer Wolf lope off. Brer Rabbit sat down and scratch his head, he did, and by and by he say to hisself that he believe he sort of drop round by Brer Fox house for to see how the land lay. No sooner said than done. Up he jump, and out he went.

When Brer Rabbit got close to Brer Fox house, all look lonesome. Then he went up nigher. Nobody stirring. Then he look in, and there lay Brer Fox stretch out on the bed just as big as life. Den Brer Rabbit make like he talking to hisself.

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"Nobody round for to look after Brer Fox—not even Brer Turkey Buzzard ain't come to the funeral," says he. "I hope Brer Fox ain't dead, but I 'spect he is," says he. "Even down to Brer Wolf done gone an' left him. It's the busy season with me, but I'll set up with him. He seem like he dead, yet he mayn't be," says Brer Rabbit, says he. "When a man go to see dead folks, dead folks always raises up their behind leg and hollers, 'wahoo!'" says he.

Brer Fox he stay still.

Den Brer Rabbit he talk little louder, "Mighty funny. Brer Fox look like he dead, yet he don't do like he dead. Dead folks hoists their behind leg and hollers 'wahoo!' when a man come to see 'em," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

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Sure enough, Brer Fox lift up his foot and holler 'wahoo!' and Brer Rabbit he tear out the house like the dogs was after him.

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Brer Wolf mighty smart, but next time you hear from him, he'll be in trouble. You just hold your breath and wait.

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