C119. Brother Rabbit's Courtship

14: Brother Rabbit's Courtship. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a time when Brer Rabbit went a-courting. I bound you there ain't been no such courting since that day, and there ain't going to be no more such. Now then! You done hear talk of Miss Meadows and the gals, and about how Brer Rabbit been going there so much. Well, it done happen so that Brer Rabbit was took with a-liking of one of the gals. This make him sort of glad at the off-start, but by and by he begun to get droopy. He laid around and sat about, he did, and look like he studying about something or other way off yonder.

It went on this away till by and by Miss Meadows, she up and ask Brer Rabbit what the name of sense is the matter along with him, and Brer Rabbit, he feel so bad that he up and respond, he did, that he dead in love with one of the gals. Then Miss Meadows, she ask him what the reason he ain't tell the gal that he want to be her bridegroom. Brer Rabbit say he ashamed. Miss Meadows, she toss her head, she did, and allow, "Ya-a-a-s! You look like you ashamed, now don't you? You might've been ashamed 'fore hens had their toothies pulled out, but you ain't been ashamed since. I done see you cut up too many capers; I know there ain't no gal on the top side of the earth what can faze you," says Miss Meadows, says she. 

Then Brer Rabbit allow that he scared the gal won't have him, but Miss Meadows refuse to hold any more confab with him; she just broke out singing and washing the dishes, and what with the tune and the clatter of the dishes Brer Rabbit can't hear his own ears. By and by, he took and sneak out, he did, and went and sat in the shade by the spring. 

He ain't sat there long 'fore here come the gal what he been studying about. She had a pail in her hand and she was coming after water. She come along down the path swinging the pail in her hand and singing. It was sort of like this, if I ain't make no mistakes in the tune:

Oh, says the woodpecker, pecking on the tree, 

Once I courted Miss Kitty Killdee, 

But she proved fickle and from me fled, 

And since that time my head been red.

Brer Rabbit been feeling mighty droopy and low-spirited all the morning, but time he hear the gal singing, he hoist up his ears and look sassy, and when she stop singing he broke out and begun to sing hisself. He sung this here kind of tune:

Katy, Katy! won't you marry? 

Katy, Katy! choose me then! 

Mammy say if you will marry 

She will kill the turkey hen; 

Then we'll have a new convention, 

Then we'll know the rights of men.

Well, sir, the gal hear Brer Rabbit singing, and she sort of toss her head and giggle. Brer Rabbit he look at her sideways and sort of grin. Then Brer Rabbit allow, "Morning, ma'm; how you come on this fine morn ing? 

The gal say, "I'm just tolerable; how you do yourself?"

Brer Rabbit allow, he did, "I thank you, ma'm, I'm right poorly. I ain't been feeling to say really pert in mighty nigh a month."

The gal laugh and say, "That what I hear tell. I expect you in love, Brer Rabbit. You ought to go off somewheres and get you a wife."

This make Brer Rabbit feel sort of ashamed, and he hung his head and make marks in the sand with his foots. By and by he say, "How come, ma'm, that you don't get married?"

The gal laugh worse and worse, and after she can catch her breath she allow, "Lordy, Brer Rabbit! I got too much sense  —  myself  —  for to be getting married without no sign or no dream."

Then Brer Rabbit say, "What kind of sign does you want, ma'm?" 

The gal allow, "Just any kind of sign; don't make no difference what. I done try all the spells, and I ain't see no sign yet."

Brer Rabbit say, "What kind of spells is you done tried, ma'm?"

The gal allow, "There ain't no telling, Brer Rabbit, that there ain't. I done try all that I hear talk about. I took and fling a ball of yarn out of the window at midnight, and there ain't nobody come and wind it. I took a looking-glass and look down in the well and I ain't see nothing at all. I took a hardboiled egg and scoop the yellow out, and fill it up with salt and eat it without drinking any water. Then I went to bed, but I ain't dream about a blessed soul. I went out 'twixt sunset and dark and fling hempseed over my left shoulder, but I ain't see no beau yet."

Brer Rabbit, he allow, he did, "If you'd a-told me when you was a-going, ma'am, I lay you'd've seed a beau."

The gal, she giggle, and say, "Oh, hush, Brer Rabbit! if you don't go 'way from here I gonna hit you! You too funny for anything. What beau you expect I'd've seed?"

Brer Rabbit, he up and allow, he did," You'd've seed me, ma'am, that's who you'd've seed."

The gal, she look at Brer Rabbit just like her feelings is been hurted, and say, "Ain't you ashamed of yourself to be talking that a-way and making fun? I'm a-going away from this spring, 'cause it ain't no place for me."

With that the gal fetch her frock a flirt, and went up the path like the patter-roller was after her. 

She went so quick and so fast that she left her pail, and Brer Rabbit, he took and fill it full of water, and carry it on up to the house where Miss Meadows and the gals live at. After so long a time, he came on back to the spring, and he sat there, he did, and study and study. He pull his mustaches and scratch his head, and by and by, after he been sitting there a mighty long time, he jump up and crack his heels together, and then he laugh fit to kill hisself. 

He allow, "You want a sign, does you? Well, I'm a-going to give you one, ma'm, and if that don't do you, I'll give you more than one."

The gal done gone, but Brer Rabbit, he hang around there, he did, and lay his plans. He laid 'em so good that when dark come he had 'em all fixed. The first thing what he done, he went down to the canebrake and there he cut him a long reed. He gnaw it; he just naturally gnaw it. Then when he do that, he took and make a hole in it from end to end, right through the joints. When dark come, Brer Rabbit took his cane and made his way to the house where Miss Meadows and the gals stay at. He crept up, he did, and listen, and he hear 'em talking and laughing on the inside. Seem like they was done eating supper and sitting 'round the fire-place. 

By and by the gal say, "What you reckon? I seed Brer Rabbit down at the spring."

The other gal say, "What he doing down there?" 

The gal say, "I expect he was going a-gallanting; he most surely did look mighty slick."

The other gal say, "I'm mighty glad to hear that, 'cause the last time I seed him it look like his britches was needing patching."

This kind of talk make Brer Rabbit look kind of solemncholy. But the gal, she up and allow, "Well, he ain't look that away today, bless you! He look like he just come out of a bandbox."

Miss Meadows, she hove a sigh, she did, and say, "Fine or no fine, I wish him or some other man or woman would come and wash up these here dishes, 'cause my back is that stiff till I can't scarcely stand up straight."

Then they all giggle, but the gal say, "You all shan't talk about Brer Rabbit behind his back. He done say he going to be my beau."

Miss Meadows, she allow, "Well, you better take him and make something or somebody out of him."

The gal laugh and say, "Oh, no! I done told him that 'fore I get married, I got to have some sign, so I'll know pointedly when the time done come."

When Brer Rabbit hear this, he got in a big hurry. He took one end of the reed and stuck it in the crack of the chimney, and then he run to the other end, which it was laying out in the weeds and bushes. When he get there, he held it up to his head and listen, and he can hear 'em just as plain as if they was right at him. 

Miss Meadows ask the gal what kind of sign she want, and the gal she say she don't care what kind of one it is, just so it's a sign. About that time Brer Rabbit put his mouth to the reed, and talk like he got a bad cold. He sing out, he did: 

Some likes cake, and some likes pie,

Some loves to laugh, and some loves to cry, 

But the gal that stays single will die, will die!

Miss Meadows allow, "Who that out there?"

Then they got a light and hunted all around the place and under the house, but they ain't see nothing nor nobody. They went back and sat down, they did, but it weren't long 'fore Brer Rabbit sing out:

The drought ain't wet, and the rain ain't dry, 

Where you sow your wheat, you can't cut rye, 

But the gal that stays single will die, will die. 

Miss Meadows, and the gals was that astonished that they ain't know what to do, and by and by Brer Rabbit, he sing out again:

I wants the gal that's after a sign, 

I wants the gal and she must be mine  —

She'll see her beau down by the big pine.

And sure enough, the next morning when the gal went down by the big pine, there sat Brer Rabbit just as natural as life. The gal, she make out, she did, that she just come down there after a chew of rosin. They jawered 'round a-right smart, and dispute along with one another. But Brer Rabbit, he got the gal.

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C037. Brer Rabbit in the Garden

3. Brother Rabbit and the Little Girl. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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Now, then, you don't want to push old Brer Rabbit too close. He mighty tender-footed critter, and the more what you push him, the further he left you.

One time, after Brer Rabbit done been tramping 'round hunting up some salad for to make out he dinner with, he find hisself in the neighborhoods of Mr. Man house, and he pass along till he come to the garden-gate, and nigh the garden-gate he see Little Gal playing 'round in the sand. When Brer Rabbit look 'twixt the garden-palings and see the collards, and the sparrow-grass, and the other garden truck growing there, it make he mouth water. Then he take and walk up to the Little Gal, Brer Rabbit did, and pull he roach, and bow, and scrape he foot, and talk mighty nice and slick.

"Howdy, Little Gal," says Brer Rabbit, says he; "how you come on?" says he.

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Then the Little Gal, she respond howdy, she did, and she ask Brer Rabbit how he come on, and Brer Rabbit, he allow he mighty poorly, and then he ask if this the Little Gal what her pa live up there in the big white house, which the Little Gal, she up and say it were.

Brer Rabbit, he say he mighty glad, 'cause he just been up there for to see her pa, and he say that her pa, he sent him out there for to tell the Little Gal that she must open the garden-gate so Brer Rabbit can go in and get some truck.

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Then the Little Gal, she jump 'round, she did, and she open the gate, and with that, Brer Rabbit, he hop in, he did, and got him a mess of greens, and hop out again, and when he going off he make a bow, he did, and tell the Little Gal that he much obliged, and then after that he put out for home.

Next day, Brer Rabbit, he hide out, he did, till he see the Little Gal come out to play, and then he put up the same tale, and walk off with another mess of truck, and it keep on this a-way, till by and by Mr. Man, he begun to miss his greens, and he keep on a-missing on 'em, till he got to excusing everybody on the place of destroying on 'em, and when that come to pass, the Little Gal, she up and say, "My goodness, pa!" says she; "you done told Mr. Rabbit for to come and make me let him in the garden after some greens, and ain't he done come and ask me, and ain't I done gone and let him in?" says she.

Mr. Man ain't have to study long before he see how the land lay, and then he laugh, and tell the Little Gal that he done gone and disremember all about Mr. Rabbit, and then he up and say, says he, "Next time Mr. Rabbit come, you take an' turn him in, an' then you run just as fast as you can an' come an' tell me, 'cause I got some business with that young chap that's pleased to be tended to," says he.

Sure enough, next morning there was the Little Gal playing 'round, and here come Brer Rabbit after he allowance of greens. He was ready with the same tale, and then the Little Gal, she turn him in, she did, and then she run up to the house and holler, "O pa! pa! O pa! Here Brer Rabbit in the garden now! Here he is, pa!"

Then Mr. Man, he rush out, and grab up a fishing-line what been hanging in the back porch, and make for the garden, and when he get there, there was Brer Rabbit trampling 'round on the strawberry-bed and mashing down the tomatoses. When Brer Rabbit see Mr. Man, he squat behind a collard leaf, but it weren't no use. Mr. Man done seed him, and before you can count eleven, he done got old Brer Rabbit tie hard and fast with the fishing-line.

After he got him tie good, Mr. Man step back, he did, and say, says he, "You done been fool me lots of time, but this time you are mine. I'm goin' to take you an' give you a larrupin'," says he, "an' then I'm goin' to skin you an' nail yo' hide on the stable door," says he; "an' then to make sure that you get the right kind of larruppin', I'll just step up to the house," says he, "an' fetch the little red cowhide, and then I'll take and give you brimstone and ginger," says he.

Then Mr. Man call to the Little Gal to watch Brer Rabbit whiles he gone.

Brer Rabbit ain't saying nothing, but Mr. Man ain't more than out the gate before he begun to sing; and in them days Brer Rabbit was a singer, man, and when he tuned up for to sing he make them other critters hold their breath.

If I ain't forget that song off of my mind, it run sort of this here way:

The jay-bird hunt the sparrow-nest,
The bee-martin sail all 'round;
The squirrel, he holler from the top of the tree,
Mr. Mole, he stay in the ground;
He hide and he stay till the dark drop down—
Mr. Mole, he hide in the ground.

When the Little Gal hear that, she laugh, she did, and she up and ask Brer Babbit for to sing some more, but Brer Rabbit, he sort of cough, he did, and allow that he got a mighty bad hoarseness down into he windpipe somewheres.

The Little Gal, she persuade, and persuade, and by and by Brer Rabbit, he up and allow that he can dance more samer than what he can sing.

Then the Little Gal, she ask him won't he dance, and Brer Rabbit, he respond how in the name of goodness can a man dance whiles he all tie up this a-way, and then the Little Gal, she say she can untie him, and Brer Rabbit, he say he ain't caring if she do.

With that the Little Gal, she reach down and unloose the fish-line, and Brer Rabbit, he sort of stretch hisself and look 'round.

Brer Rabbit gather up his foots under him, and he dance out of that garden, and he dance home. He did that! Surely you don't expect that a old-timer what done had experience like Brer Rabbit going to stay there and let that there Mr. Man sacrifice him? Shoo! Brer Rabbit dance, but he dance home. You hear me!

C039. Rabbit's Wild Costume

5. Brother Rabbit's Astonishing Prank. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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RABBIT'S WILD COSTUME

I expect that was the reason what make old Brer Rabbit get along so well, because he ain't copy after none of the other critters. When he make his disappearance before 'em, it was always in some brand new place. They ain't know whereabouts for to watch out for him. He was the funniest critter of the whole gang. Some folks might have call him lucky, and yet, when he get in bad luck, it look like he most always come out on top. It look mighty curious now, but it weren't curious in them days, because it was done given up that, strike him when you might and where you would, Brer Rabbit was the supplest critter going.

One time, he sort of took a notion, old Brer Rabbit did, that he'd pay Brer Bear a call, and no sooner do the notion strike him than he pick hisself up and put out for Brer Bear house. Brer Rabbit make he call when Brer Bear and his family was off from home. He sat down by the road, and he see 'em go by —old Brer Bear and old Miss Bear, and their two twin-chilluns, which one of 'em was name Kubs and the other one was name Klibs.

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Ole Brer Bear and Miss Bear, they went along ahead, and Kubs and Klibs, they come shuffling and scrambling along behind. When Brer Rabbit see this, he say to hisself that he expect he better go see how Brer Bear getting on; and off he put. And it weren't long neither before he was ransacking the premises same like he was sure enough patter-roller. 

Whiles he was going 'round peeping in here and poking in there, he got to fooling among the shelfs, and a bucket of honey what Brer Bear got hid in the cupboard fall down and spill on top of Brer Rabbit, and little more and he'd've been drown. From head to heels that critter was covered with honey; he weren't just only bedabble with it, he was just covered. He had to sit there and let the natural sweetness drip out of he eyeballs before he can see he hand before him, and then, after he look 'round little, he say to hisself, says he, "Heyo, here! What I gonna do now? If I go out in the sunshine, the bumbly-bees an' the flies they'll warm up an' take me, and if I stay here, Brer Bear'll come back and catch me, and I don't know what in the name of gracious I gonna do."

Anyhow, by and by a notion strike Brer Rabbit, and he tip along till he get in the woods, and when he get out there, what do he do but roll in the leafs and trash and try for to rub the honey off of him that a-way. He roll, he did, and the leafs they stick; Brer Rabbit roll, and the leafs they stick, and he keep on rolling and the leafs keep on sticking, till after while Brer Rabbit was the most audacious-looking critter what you ever set eyes on. And if Miss Meadows and the gals could've seed him then and there, they wouldn't've been no more Brer Rabbit call at their house; indeed, and that they wouldn't.

Brer Rabbit, he jump 'round, he did, and try to shake the leafs off of him, but the leafs, they ain't going to be shook off. Brer Rabbit, he shake and he shiver, but the leafs they stick; and the capers that critter cut up out there in the woods by he own-alone self was scandalous—they was that; they was scandalous. Brer Rabbit see this weren't going to do, and he allow to hisself that he better be getting on towards home, and off he put. 

I expect you done hear talk of these yer booggers what gets after bad chilluns. Well, then, just exactly that a-way Brer Rabbit look, and if you'd've seed him you'd've made sure he the grand-daddy of all the booggers. Brer Rabbit pace along, he did, and every motion he make, the leafs they'd go swishy-swushy, splushy-splishy, and, from the fuss he make and the way he look, you'd've took him to be the most servigorous varmint what disappear from the face of the earth since old man Noah let down the draw-bars of the ark and turn the critters loose; and I bound if you'd've struck up long with him, you'd've been mighty good and glad if you'd've got off with that.

The first man what Brer Rabbit come up with was old Sis Cow, and no sooner is she lay eyes on him than she hoist up her tail in the elements, and put out like a pack of dogs was after her. This make Brer Rabbit laugh, 'cause he know that when a old settled woman like Sis Cow run distracted in the broad open day-time, that they must be something' mighty curious about them leafs and that honey, and he keep on a-racking down the road. 

The next man what he meet was a black gal tolling a whole passel of plantation shotes, and when the gal see Brer Rabbit come prancing along, she fling down her basket of corn and just fairly fly, and the shotes, they took through the woods, and such a racket as they kick up with their running, and their snorting, and their squealing ain't never been hear in that settlement neither before nor since.

It keep on this a-way long as Brer Rabbit meet anybody—they just broke and run like the old Boy was after 'em. Course, this make Brer Rabbit feel monstrous biggity, and he allow to hisself that he expect he better drop 'round and skirmish in the neighborhoods of Brer Fox house. And whiles he was standing there running this 'round in he mind, here come old Brer Bear and all of he family.

Brer Rabbit, he get crossways the road, he did, and he sort of sidle towards 'em. Old Brer Bear, he stop and look, but Brer Rabbit, he keep on sidling towards 'em. Old Miss Bear, she stand it long as she can, and then she fling down her parasol and took a tree. Brer Bear look like he going to stand his ground, but Brer Rabbit he jump straight up in the air and give hisself a shake, and, bless your soul, old Brer Bear make a break, and they tells me he tore down a whole panel of fence getting away from there. And as to Kubs and Klibs, they took their hats in their hands, and they went skaddling through the bushes just same as a drove of horses.

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Brer Rabbit paraded on down the road, and by and by here come Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, fixing up a plan for to nab Brer Rabbit, and they was so intents on their confab that they got right on Brer Rabbit before they seed him; but, gentlemens, when they is catch a glimpse of him, they given him all the room he want. Brer Wolf, he try to show off, he did, 'cause he want to play big before Brer Fox, and he stop and ask Brer Rabbit who is he. Brer Rabbit, he jump up and down in the middle of the road, and holler out, "I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp. I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp, and you are the man I'm after!" Den Brer Rabbit jump up and down and make like he going after Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, and the way them critters lit out from there was a caution.

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Long time after that, Brer Rabbit come up with Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, and he get behind a stump, Brer Rabbit did, and holler out, "I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp, and you are  the mens I'm after!"

Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, they broke, but before they got out of sight and out of hearing, Brer Rabbit show hisself, he did, and laugh fit to kill hisself. Aftewards, Miss Meadows she hear about it, and the next time Brer Fox call, the gals they up and giggle, and ask him if he ain't feared the Will-o'-the-wisp might drop in.

C043. Benjamin Ram Plays the Fiddle

9. Mr. Benjamin Ram and His Wonderful Fiddle. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BENJAMIN RAM PLAYS the FIDDLE

This here Mr. Benjamin Ram, was one of these here ole-timers. They tells me that he was a fiddler from away back yonder—one of them there kind of fiddlers what can't get the tune down fine unless they pats their foot. He stay all by he own-alone self way out in the middle of a big new-ground, and he such a handy man for to have at a frolic that the other critters like him mighty well, and when they took a notion for to shake their foot, which the notion took and struck 'em every once in a while, nothing'd do but they must send for old man Benjamin Ram and he fiddle; and they do say that when he square hisself back in a chair, and get in a weaving way, he can just snatch them old-time tunes from who lay the rail. And then, when the frolic was done, they'd all fling in, them other critters would, and fill up a bag of peas for old Mr. Benjamin Ram for to carry home with him.

One time, just about Christmas, Miss Meadows and Miss Motts and the gals, they up and say that they'd sort of give a blowout, and they got word to old man Benjamin Ram which they expected him for to be on hand. When the time done come for Mr. Benjamin Ram for to start, the wind blow cold and the cloud begun to spread out across the elements—but no matter for that; old man Benjamin Ram took down he walking-cane, he did, and tie up he fiddle in a bag, and set out for Miss Meadows. He thunk he know the way, but it keep on gitting colder and colder, and more cloudy, till by and by, first news you know, old Mr. Benjamin Ram done lose the way. If he'd've kept on down the big road from the start, it might've been different, but he took a nigh-cut, and he ain't get far before he done lost sure enough. He go this a-way, and he go that a-way, and he go the other way, yet all the same he was done lost.

Some folks would've sat right flat down where they was and study out their way, but old man Benjamin Ram ain't got wrinkle on he horn for nothing, 'cause he done got the name of old Billy Hardhead long before that. Then again, some folks would've stop right still in their tracks and holler and bawl for to see if they can't roust up some of the neighbors, but old Mr. Benjamin Ram, he just stick he jowl in the wind, he did, and he march right on just exactly like he know he ain't going the wrong way. He keep on, but it weren't long before he begun to feel right lonesome, more 'specially when it come up in he mind how Miss Meadows and the gals and all the company be pleased to do the best they can without any fiddling; and it kind of make he marrow get cold when he study about how he got to sleep out there in the woods by hisself.

Yet, all the same, he keep on till the dark begun to drop down, andthen he keep on still, and by and by he come to a little rise where there was a clay-gall. When he get there he stop and look 'round, he did, and 'way off down in the holler, there he see a light shining, and when he see this, old man Benjamin Ram took he foot in he hand, and make he way towards it just like it the very place what he been hunting. It weren't long before he come to the house where the light is, and, bless you soul, he don't make no bones of knocking.

Then somebody holler out, "Who that?'

"I'm Mr. Benjamin Ram, and I done lose the way, and I come for to ask you if you can't take me in for the night," says he.

In common, old Mr. Benjamin Ram was a mighty rough-and-spoken somebody, but you better believe he talk monstrous polite this time.

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Then someone on the other side of the door ask Mr. Benjamin Ram for to walk right in, and with that he open the door and walk in, and make a bow like fiddling folks does when they goes in company; but he ain't no sooner make he bow and look 'round till he begun to shake and shiver like he done been strucken with the swamp-ague, 'cause, sitting right there before the fire was old Brer Wolf, with his toothies showing up all white and shiny like they was brand new. if old Mr. Benjamin Ram ain't been so old and stiff I bound you he'd've broke and run, but almost before he had time for to study about getting away, old Brer Wolf done been jump up and shut the door and fasten her with a great big chain.

Old Mr. Benjamin Ram he know he in for it, and he took and put on a bold face as he can, but he just naturally hone for to be lost in the woods some more. Then he make another low bow, and he hope Brer Wolf  and all his folks is well, and then he say, says he, that he just drop in for to warm hisself, and inquire of the way to Miss Meadows', and if Brer Wolf be so good as to set him in the road again, he be off pretty soon and be much obliged in the bargains.

"To be sure, Mr. Ram," says Brer Wolf, says he, whiles he lick he chops and grin; "just put yo' walkin'-cane in the corner over there, and set yo' bag down on the floor, and make yo'self at home," says he. "We ain't got much," says he, "but what we is got is yourn whiles you stays, an' I bound we'll take good care of you," says he; and with that Brer Wolf laugh and show his toothies so bad that old man Benjamin Ram come mighty nigh having another ague.

Then Brer Wolf took and flung another lightered-knot on the fire, and then he slip into the back room, and presently, whiles old Mr. Benjamin Ram was sitting there shaking in he shoes, he hear Brer Wolf whispering to he old woman, "Old woman! Old woman! Fling 'way yo' smoke meat—fresh meat for supper! Fling 'way yo' smoke meat—fresh meat for supper!"

Then old Miss Wolf, she talk out loud, so Mr. Benjamin Ram can hear, "To be sure I'll fix him some supper. We are 'way off here in the woods, so far from company that goodness knows I'm mighty glad to see Mr. Benjamin Ram."

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Then Mr. Benjamin Ram hear old Miss Wolf whetting her knife on a rock—shirrah! shirrah! shirrah!—and every time he hear the knife say shirrah! he know he that much nigher the dinner-pot. He know he can't get away, and whiles he sitting there studying, it come across he mind that he just might as well play one more tune on he fiddle before the worse come to the worse. With that he untie the bag and take out the fiddle, and begun to tune her up—plink, plank, plunk, plink! plunk, plank, plink, plunk!

When old Miss Wolf hear that kind of fuss, course she don't know what is it, and she drop her knife and listen. Old Mr. Benjamin Ram ain't know this, and he keep on tuning up—plank, plink, plunk, plank! Then old Miss Wolf, she took and hunch Brer Wolf with her elbow, and she say, says she, "Hey, old man! What that?"

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Then both of 'em cock up their ears and listen, and just about that time old Mr. Benjamin Ram he sling the butt of the fiddle up under he chin, and struck up one of them old-time tunes. It sort of went like that there song about "Sheep shell corn with the rattle of his horn,' and yet it might've been that there other one about "Roll the key, ladies, roll them keys."

Brer Wolf and old Miss Wolf, they listen and listen, and the more what they listen the scareder they get, till by and by they took to their heels and make a break for the swamp at the back of the house just like the patter-rollers was after 'em.

When old man Benjamin Ram sort of let up with he fiddling, he don't see no Brer Wolf, and he don't hear no old Miss Wolf. Then he look in the back room; no Wolf there. Then he look in the back porch; no Wolf there. Then he look in the closet and the cupboard; no Wolf ain't there yet. Then old Mr. Benjamin Ram, he took and shut all the doors and lock 'em, and he search 'round and he find some peas and fodder in the loft, which he et 'em for he supper, and then he lie down front of the fire and sleep sound as a log.

Next morning he was up and stirring monstrous soon, and he put out from there, and he find the way to Miss Meadows' time enough for to play at the frolic. When he get there, Miss Meadows and the gals, they run to the gate for to meet him, and this one took he hat, and that one took he cane, and the other one took he fiddle, and then they up and say, "Lord, Mr. Ram! Where the name of goodness is you been? We so glad you come. Stir 'round here, folks, and get Mr. Ram a cup of hot coffee."

They make a mighty big to-do about Mr. Benjamin Ram, Miss Meadows and Miss Motts and the gals did, but 'twixt you and me and the bedpost, they'd've had their frolic whether the old chap was there or not, 'cause the gals done make arrangerments with Brer Rabbit for to pat for 'em, and in them days Brer Rabbit was a patter, man. He most surely was.

C047. Fox, Rabbit, and King Deer's Daughter

13. Brother Fox, Brother Rabbit, and King Deer's Daughter. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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FOX, RABBIT, and KING DEER'S DAUGHTER

Well, then, some time along in there, old Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit got to flying 'round King Deer daughter. They tells me she was a monstrous likely gal, and I expect may be she was; leastways, Brer Fox, he hanker after her, and likewise Brer Rabbit, he hanker after her. Old King Deer look like he sort of lean towards Brer Fox, 'cause to a settle man like him, it seem like that Brer Fox can stir 'round and keep the pot a-boiling, more specially being's he the biggest.

It go on this a-way till hardly a day pass that one or the other or them critters don't go sparkling 'round King Deer daughter, and it got so after while that all day long Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox keep the front gate a-screaking, and King Deer daughter ain't scarcely had time for to eat a meal vittles in no peace of mind.

In them days, when a critter go a-courting there weren't none of this here bouquet doings mixed up along of the courtship, and they ain't cut up no capers like folks does now. Stead of scalloping 'round and bowing and scraping, they just go right straight after the gal. Old Brer Rabbit, he might've had some bubby-blossoms wrap up in his handkerchief, but mostly him and Brer Fox's just drop in on King Deer daughter and begin to cast sheep-eyes at her time they sat down and cross their legs.

They went along this a-way, till it begun to look sort of skittish with Brer Rabbit, 'cause old King Deer done goodas say, says he, that he going to take Brer Fox into the family. Brer Rabbit, he  allow, he did, that this ain't going to do, and he study and study how he going to cut Brer Fox out.

LasT, one day, whiles he going through King Deer pasture lot, he up with a rock and killed two of King Deer goats. When he get to the house, he ask King Deer daughter whereabouts her pa, and she up and say she go call him, and when Brer Rabbit see him, he ask when the wedding took place, and King Deer ask which wedding, and Brer Rabbit say the wedding 'twixt Brer Fox and King Deer daughter. With dat, old King Deer ask Brer Rabbit what make he go on so, and Brer Rabbit, he up and respond that he see Brer Fox making monstrous free with the family, going 'round chunking the chickens and killing up the goats.

Ole King Deer strike he walking-cane down upon the floor, and allow that he don't put no dependence in no such tale like that, and then Brer Rabbit tell him that if he'll just take a walk down in the pasture lot, he can see the carcase of the goats. Old King Deer, he put out, and by and by he come back, and he allow he going to settle matters with Brer Fox if it take him a month.

Brer Rabbit say he a good friend to Brer Fox, and he ain't got no room to talk about him, but yet when he see him destroying King Deer goats and chunking at his chickens, and rattling on the palings for to make the dog bark, he pleased to come lay the case before the family.

"And more than that," says old Brer Rabbit, says he, "I'm the man what can make Brer Fox come an' stand right at the front gate an' tell you that he is kill them goat; an' if you just wait till tonight, I won't ask you to take my word," says he.

King Deer say if Brer Rabbit man enough to do that, then he can get the gal and thanky, too. With that, Brer Rabbit jump up and crack he heels together, and put out for to find Brer Fox. He ain't get far before he see Brer Fox coming down the road all primp up. Brer Rabbit, he sing out, he did, "Brer Foxy, where you goin'?"

And Brer Fox, he holler back, "Go 'way, Rab; don't bother with me. I'm goin' for to see my gal."

Brer Rabbit, he laugh 'way down in his stomach, but he don't let on, and after some more chat, he up and say that old King Deer done tell him about how Brer Fox going to marry he daughter, and then he tell Brer Fox that he done promise King Deer that they'd drop 'round tonight and give him some music.

"An' I up an' told him," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "that the music what we can't make ain't worth makin' —me with my quills, an' you with yo' triangle. The next motion we makes," says he, "we'll have to go off somewheres an' practise up on the song we'll sing, an' I got one here that'll tickle 'em that bad," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "till I lay they'll fetch out a hunk of that big chicken-pie what I see 'em puttin' in the pot just now," says he.

In a occasion like this, Brer Fox say he the very man what Brer Rabbit hunting, and he allow that he'll just about put off paying he call to King Deer house and go with Brer Rabbit for to practise on that song.

Then Brer Rabbit, he get he quills and Brer Fox he get he triangle, and they went down on the spring branch, and there they sing and play, till they get it all by heart. Old Brer Rabbit, he make up the song he own self, and he fix it so that he sing the call, like the captain of the corn-pile, and old Brer Fox, he have to sing the answer.

Don't talk about no songs to me. Gentlemens! That was a funny song from the word go. By and by, when they practise long time, they gets up and goes 'round in the neighborhoods of King Deer house, and when night come they took their stand at the front gate, and after all got still, Brer Rabbit, he give the wink, and they broke loose with their music. They played a tune or two on the quills and triangle, and then they got to the song. Old Brer Rabbit, he got the call, and he open up like this:

Some folks pile up more than they can tote,

And that what the atter with King Deer goat.

And then Brer Fox, he make answer:

That's so, that's so, and I'm glad that it's so!

Then the quills and the troangle, they come in, and then Brer Rabbit pursue on with the call:

Some kill sheep and some kill shote,

But Brer Fox kill King Deer goat.

And then Brer Fox, he join in with the answer:

I did, that I did, and I'm glad that I did!

And just about that time King Deer, he walk out of the gate and give Brer Fox a clip with his walking-cane, and he follow it up with another one that make Brer Fox fairly squall, and you just better believe he make tracks 'way from there, and the gal she come out, and they ask Brer Rabbit in.

They ask him in, and they give him a great big hunk of chicken-pie, but I won't make sure that he took and marry the gal. The point with me is the way Brer Rabbit run Brer Fox off from there.

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C049. Fox and Turtle's Quill-Pipe

15. Brother Fox Covets the Quills. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. You can click here for the standardized spelling plus all notes to the story.

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FOX and TURTLE'S QUILL-PIPE

That the song what Brer Terrapin play on the quills:
I foolee, I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
Po' Buzzard I foolee, I foolee, I foolee.

Nobody don't know where the quills come from, 'cause Brer Terrapin, he ain't making no brags how he get um; yet everybody wants 'em on account of their playing such a lonesome tune, and old Brer Fox, he want 'em worst of all. He beg and he beg Brer Terrapin for to sell him them quills; but Brer Terrapin, he hold on to 'em tight, and say uh-uh!

Then he ask Brer Terrapin for to loan 'em to him  just a week, so he can play for he chilluns, but Brer Terrapin, he shake he head and put he foot down, and keep on playing:
I foolee, I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
Po' Buzzard I foolee, I foolee, I foolee.

But Brer Fox, he ain't got no peace of mind on account of them quills, and one day he meet Brer Terrapin and he ask him how he seem to segashuate and he family and all he chilluns; and then Brer Fox ask Brer Terrapin if he can't just look at the quills, 'cause he got some goose-feathers at he house, and if he can just get a glimpse of Brer Terrapin quills, he expect he can make some mighty like 'em.

Brer Terrapin, he study about this, but he hate to deny small favors like that, and by and by he hold out them quills where Brer Fox can see 'em. With that, Brer Fox, he took and jerk the quills out of Brer Terrapin hand, he did, and dash off just as hard as he can go. Brer Terrapin, he holler and holler at him just loud as he can holler, but he know he can't catch him, and he just sat there, Brer Terrapin did, and look like he done lost all the kin-folks what he got in the round world.

After this, Brer Fox he strut 'round and play mighty biggity, and every time he meet Brer Terrapin in the road he walk all 'round him and play on the quills like this:
I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
I foolee old Terrapin, too.

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Brer Terrapin, he feel mighty bad, but he ain't saying nothing. Last, one day whiles old Brer Terrapin was setting on a log sunning hisself, here come Brer Fox playing that same old tune on the quills, but Brer Terrapin, he stay still. Brer Fox, he come up little nigher and play, but Brer Terrapin, he keep he eyes shut and he stay still. Brer Fox, he come nigher and get on the log; Brer Terrapin ain't saying nothing. Brer Fox still get up nigher and play on the quills; still Brer Terrapin ain't saying nothing.

"Brer Terrapin mighty sleepy this mornin'," says Brer Fox, says he.

Still Brer Terrapin keep he eyes shut and stay still. Brer Fox keep on getting nigher and nigher, till by and by Brer Terrapin open he eyes and he mouth both, and he make a grab at Brer Fox and miss him.

But hold on! Next morning, Brer Terrapin take hisself off and wallow in a mud-hole, and smear hisself with mud till he look just exactly like a clod of dirt. Then he crawl off and lay down underneath a log where he know Brer Fox come every morning for to freshen hisself.

Brer Terrapin lay there, he did, and directly here come Brer Fox. Time he get there, Brer Fox begun to leap backwards forwards 'cross the log, and Brer Terrapin he crept nigher and nigher, till by and by he make a grab at Brer Fox and catch him by the foot.

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They tells me, that when Brer Terrapin catch hold, it got to thunder before he let go. All I know, Brer Terrapin get Brer Fox by the foot, and he held him dar. Brer Fox he jump and he rear, but Brer Terrapin done got him. Brer Fox, he holler out, "Brer Terrapin, please lemme go!"

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Brer Terrapin talk way down in his throat, "Gimme my quills!"

"Lemme go and fetch 'em."

"Gimme my quills!"

"Do pray lemme go get 'em."

"Gimme my quills!"

And, bless gracious! This all Brer Fox can get out of Brer Terrapin. Last, Brer Fox foot hurt him so bad that he pleased to do something, and he sing out for his old woman for to fetch the quills, but he old woman, she busy about the house, and she don't hear him. Then he call he son, which he name Tobe. He holler and bawl, and Tobe make answer.

"Tobe! O Tobe! You Tobe!"

"What you want, daddy?"

"Fetch Brer Terrapin quills."

"What you say, daddy? Fetch the big tray to get the honey in?"

"No, you crazy-head! Fetch Brer Terrapin quills!"

"What you say, daddy? Fetch the dipper to catch the minnows in?"

"No, you fool! Fetch Brer Terrapin quills!"

"What you say, daddy? Water done been spill?"

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It went on this a-way till after while old Miss Fox hear the racket, and then she listen, and she know that her old man hollering for the quills, and she fetch 'em out and give 'em to Brer Terrapin, and Brer Terrapin, he let go he hold. He let go he hold, but long time after that, when Brer Fox go to pay he calls, he have to go hoppity-fetchity, hoppity-fetchity.

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C052. Wolf, Fox, and Buzzard

18. A Dream and a Story. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story. At the start of the frame, Uncle Remus tells the little boy about dreaming of the animals and how they play music in his dreams, as shown in this illustration:

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WOLF, FOX, and BUZZARD

Well, then, one day, Brer Wolf and Brer Fox they got to disputing along of one another. Brer Wolf, he took and abuse Brer Fox 'cause Brer Fox let Brer Rabbit fool him, and then Brer Fox, he took and quarrel back at Brer Wolf, 'cause Brer Wolf let old man Rabbit likewise fool him. They keep on disputing and disputing, till by and by they clinch, and Brer Wolf, being the biggest man, it wouldn't've been long before he'd've wool Brer Fox, but Brer Fox, he watch he chance, he did, and he give him leg bail; he jerk loose from Brer Wolf, Brer Fox did, and, gentlemens, he just mosey through the woods.

Brer Wolf, he took after him, he did, andthere they had it, and Brer Wolf push Brer Fox so close, that the onliest way Brer Fox can save he hide is to find a hole somewhere, and the first hollow tree that he come 'cross, into it he dove. 

Brer Wolf fetched a grab at him, but he was just in time for to be too late.

Then Brer Wolf, he sat there, he did, and he study and study how he gonna get Brer Fox out, and Brer Fox, he lay in there, he did, and he study and study what Brer Wolf gonna do. 

By and by, Brer Wolf, he took and gather up a whole lot of chunks, and rocks, and sticks, and then he took and fill up the hole what Brer Fox went in so Brer Fox can't get out. 

Whiles this was going on, old Brer Turkey Buzzard, he was sailing 'round 'way up in the elements, with he eye peel for business, and it weren't long before he glance lit on Brer Wolf, and he allow to hisself, says he, "I'll just sort of flop down," says he, "and look into this, 'cause if Brer Wolf hiding he dinner there with the expectation of finding it there when he come back, then he done gone and put it in the wrong place," says he.

With that old Brer Turkey Buzzard, he flop down and sail 'round nigher, and he soon see that Brer Wolf ain't hiding no dinner. Then he flop down further, old Brer Buzzard did, till he lit on the top of the hollow tree. Brer Wolf, he done catch a glimpse of old Brer Buzzard shadow, but he keep on putting chunks and rocks in the hollow. Then, presently, Brer Buzzard, he open up, "What you doing there, Brer Wolf?"

"Making a tombstone, Brer Buzzard."

Course Brer Buzzard sort of feel like he got interest in matters like this, and he holler back, "Who dead now, Brer Wolf?"

"One of yo' acquaintance, which he name Brer Fox, Brer Buzzard."

"W'en he die, Brer Wolf?"

"He ain't dead yet, but he won't last long in here, Brer Buzzard."

Brer Wolf, he keep on, he did, till he done stop up the hole good, and then he brush the trash off of his clothes, and put out for home. Brer Turkey Buzzard, he sat up there, he did, and untangle his tail feathers, and listen and listen, but Brer Fox, he keep dark, and Brer Buzzard ain't hear nothing. Then Brer Buzzard, he flop he wings and sail away.

By and by, next day, bright and early, here he come back, and he sail all 'round and 'round the tree, but Brer Fox he lay low and keep dark, and Brer Buzzard ain't hear nothing. After while, Brer Buzzard he sail 'round again, and this time he sing, and the song what he sing is this here: 

Boo, boo, boo, my filler-mer-loo,

Man out here with news for you!

Then he sail all 'round and 'round another time and listen, and by and by he hear Brer Fox sing back:

Go 'way, go 'way, my little jug of beer,

The news you bring, I heard last year.

So, then, when Brer Buzzard hear Brer Fox sing back, he allow he ain't dead, and with that, Brer Buzzard, he sail off and attend to he other business. 

Next day back he come, and Brer Fox, he sing back, he did, just as lively as a cricket in the ashes, and it keep on this way till Brer Fox stomach begun to pinch him, and then he know that he got to study up some kind of plans for to get out from there. 

Another day pass, and Brer Fox, he took and lay low, and it keep on that a-way till it look like to Brer Fox, pent up in there, he must surely perish. 

Last, one day Brer Buzzard come sailing all 'round and 'round with that

"Boo, boo, boo, my filler-mer-loo," but Brer Fox, he keep dark and Brer Buzzard, he took and suspicion that Brer Fox was done dead. Brer Buzzard, he keep on singing, and Brer Fox he keep on laying low, till by and by Brer Buzzard lit and begun to clear 'way the trash and truck from the hollow. He hop up, he did, and took out one chunk, and then he hop back and listen, but Brer Fox stay still. then Brer Buzzard hop up and took out another chunk, and then hop back and listen, and all this time Brer Fox mouth was watering whiles he lay back in there and just naturally honed after Brer Buzzard. 

It went on this a-way, till just before he got the hole uncovered, Brer Fox, he break out he did, and grab Brer Buzzard by the back of the neck. There was a kind of scuffle amongst 'em, but it weren't for long, and that was the last of old Brer Turkey Buzzard.

C067. How Guinea-Fowls Got Their Spots

33. Why the Guinea-fowls Are Speckled. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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HOW GUINEA-FOWLS GOT THEIR SPOTS

Guinea-hens, they'll wake up and holler if they hear theyself snore. They'll fool you, sure. They looks queer, and they does queer. They ain't do like no other kind of chicken, and they ain't look like no other kind of chicken. Yet folks tell me that they are heap more curious looking now than what they used to be. I hear tell that they was one time when they was all blue, instead of having all them there teenchy little spots on 'em.

Well, then, one day Sis Cow was a-grazing about in the old field and looking after her calf. The weather was kind of hot, and the calf, he took and stand, he did, in he mammy shadow, so he can keep cool, and so that one flip of he mammy tail can keep the flies off of both of 'em. After while, 'long come a drove of Guineas. The Guineas, they howdied, and Sis Cow, she howdied, and the Guineas, they sort of picked 'round and sun theyself; and Sis Cow, she crop the grass and ask 'em the news of the neighborhoods. They went on this a-way till it weren't long before they hear mighty curious noise out there the other side of the old field. The Guineas, they make great admiration, just like they does these days, and old Sis Cow fling up her head and look all 'round. She ain't see nothing.

After while they hear the curious fuss again, and they look 'round, and bless gracious! Standing right there, 'twixt them and sundown, was a great big Lion!

You better believe there was a monstrous flutterment amongst the Guineas, and old Sis Cow, she looked mighty scared. The Lion love cow meat most better than he do any other kind of meat, and he shake he head and allow to hisself that he'll just about catch old Sis Cow and eat her up, and take and carry the calf to he family.

Then he took and shook he head, the Lion did, and make straight at Sis Cow. The Guineas they run this a-way, and they run the other way, and they run all 'round and 'round; but old Sis Cow, she just know she got to stand her ground, and when she see the Lion making towards her, she just took and dropped her head down and pawed the dirt. The Lion, he crept up, he did, and crept 'round, watching for good chance for to make a jump. He crept 'round, he did, but no difference which a-way he creep, there was old Sis Cow horns pointing right straight at him. Old Sis Cow, she paw the dirt, she did, and show the white of her eyes, and bellow way down in her stomach.

They went on this a-way, they did, till by and by the Guineas, they see that Sis Cow ain't so mighty scared, and then they begun to take heart. First news you know, one of 'em sort of drop he wings and fuzzle up the feathers and run out 'twixt Sis Cow and the Lion. When he get there, he sort of dip down, he did, and fling up dirt just like you see 'em do in the ash-pile. Then he took and run back, he did, and time he get back, another one run out and raise the dust 'twixt Sis Cow and the Lion. Then another one, he run out and dip down and shoo up the dust; then another one run out and dip down, and another one and yet another one, till, bless gracious! Time they all run out and dip down and raise the dust, the Lion was that blind till he ain't can see he hand before him. This make him so mad that he make a splunge at Sis Cow, and the old lady, she catch him on her horns and got him down, and just naturally tore his entrails out.

That she did—that she did! Yet it ain't make her proud, 'cause after the Lion done good and dead, she took and call up the Guineas, she did, and she allow, they been so quick for to help her out, that she want to pay 'em back. 

The Guineas, they say, "Don't bother 'long of we all, Sis Cow. You had yo' fun and we all had ours, and excepting that there blood and hair on yo' horn, there ain't none of us any the worse off."

But old Sis Cow, she stand 'em down, she did, that she got to pay 'em back, and then after while she ask 'em what they like best. One of 'em up and make answer that what they like best, Sis Cow, she can't give 'em. Sis Cow, she up and allow that she don't know about that, and she ask 'em what is it.

Then the Guineas, they took and huddle up, they did, and hold a confab with one another, and whiles they are doing this, old Sis Cow, she took and fetch a long breath, and then she call up her cud, and stood there chewing on it just like she ain't had no tribulation that day.

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By and by one of the Guineas step out from the huddlement and make a bow and allow that they all'd be mighty proud if Sis Cow can fix it some way so they can't be seed so far through the woods, 'cause they look blue in the sun, and they look blue in the shade, and they can't hide theyself nohow. Sis Cow, she chew on her cud, and shut her eyes, and study. She chew and chew, and study and study. By and by she allow, "Go fetch me a pail!" 

Guinea-hen laugh! "Lord, Sis Cow! What the name of goodness you gonna do with a pail?"

"Go fetch me a pail!"

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Guinea-hen, she runned off, she did, and after while here she come trotting back with a pail. She sat that pail down, and Sis Cow, she took her stand over it, and she let down her milk in there till she mighty nigh fill the pail full. Then she took and make them Guinea-hens get in a row, and she dip her tail in that there pail, and she switch it at the first one and sprinkle her all over with the milk; and every time she switch her tail at 'em she allow, "I loves this un!" Then she'd sing:

Oh, Blue, go away! You shall not stay!

Oh, Guinea, be Gray, be Gray!

She took and sprinkle the last one of 'em, and the Guineas, they sat in the sun till they get dry, and from that time out they got them little speckles on 'em.

C071. Brer Rabbit and the Mosquitoes

37. Brother Rabbit and the Mosquitoes. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER RABBIT and the MOSQUITOES

There was one time when Brer Wolf live in the swamp, and, more than that, he had a mighty likely gal. Look like all the other critters was after her. They'd go down there to Brer Wolf house, they would, and they'd sit up and court the gal, and enjoy theyself.

It went on this a-way till after while the mosquitoes begun to get monstrous bad. Brer Fox, he went flying 'round Miss Wolf, and he sat there, he did, and run on with her and fight mosquitoes just as big as life and twice as natural. Last Brer Wolf, he took and caught Brer Fox slapping and fighting at he mosquitoes. With that he took and took Brer Fox by the off ear and led him out to the front gate, and when he get there, heallow, he did, that no man what can't put up with mosquitoes ain't going to come a-courting his gal.

Then Brer Coon, he come flying 'round the gal, but he ain't been there no time scarcely 'fore he begun to knock at the mosquitoes; and no sooner is he done this than Brer Wolf show him the door. Brer Mink, he come and try he hand, yet he pleased to fight the mosquitoes, and Brer Wolf ask him out.

It went on this a-way till by and by all the critters been flying 'round Brer Wolf's gal excepting it's old Brer Rabbit, and when he hear what kind of treatments the other critters been catching he allow to hisself that he believe in he soul he must go down to Brer Wolf house and set the gal out one whet if it's the last act.

No sooner say, no sooner do. Off he put, and it weren't long 'fore he find hisself knocking at Brer Wolf front door. Old Sis Wolf, she took and put down her knitting and she up and allow, she did, "Who dat?"

The gal, she was standing up 'fore the looking-glass sorter primping, and she choke back a giggle, she did, and allow, "Sh-h-h! My goodness, mammy! That's Mr. Rabbit. I hear the gals say he's a mighty proper and particular gentleman, and I just hope you ain't going to sit there and run on like you most always does when I got company 'bout how much soap-grease you done save up and how many kitten the old cat got. I gets right ashamed sometimes, that I does!"

Old Sis Wolf, she sat there, she did, and settle her cap on her head, and snicker, and look at the gal like she monstrous proud. The gal, she took and shook herself 'fore the looking-glass a time or two, and then she tipped to the door and open it little ways and peep out just like she scared someone going to hit her a clip side the head. There stood old Brer Rabbit looking just as slick as a race-horse. The gal, she took and laugh, she did, and holler, "Why Lord, ma! It's Mr. Rabbit, an' here we been afraid it was someone what ain't got no business 'round here!"

Old Sis Wolf she look over her specs, and snicker, and then she up and allow, "Well, don't keep him standin' out there all night. Ask him in, for goodness sake."

Then the gal, she took and drop her handkerchief, and Brer Rabbit, he dipped down and grab it and pass it to her with a bow, and the gal say she much obliged, 'cause that was more than Mr. Fox would've done, and then she ask Brer Rabbit how he come on, and Brer Rabbit allow he right pert, and then he ask her whereabouts her daddy, and old Sis Wolf allow she go find him.

It weren't long 'fore Brer Rabbit hear Brer Wolf stomping the mud off of he foots in the back porch, and then by and by in he come. They shook hands, they did, and Brer Rabbit say that when he go calling on he acquaintance, it ain't feel natural 'cepting the man of the house sitting 'round somewheres.

"If he don't talk none," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "he can just sit up 'gainst the chimney-jam an' keep time by noddin'."

But old Brer Wolf, he one of these here kind of mens what got the whimsies and he up and allow that he don't let hisself get to nodding front of company. They run on this a-way till by and by Brer Rabbit hear the mosquitoes come zooming 'round, and claiming kin with him. Course they claim kin with him. They claims kin with folks yet, let 'lone Brer Rabbit. Manys and manys the time when I hear 'em sailing 'round and singing out "Cousin! Cousin!" and I let you know, the mosquitoes is mighty close kin when they gets to be your cousin.

Brer Rabbit, he hear 'em zooming, and he know he got to do some mighty nice talking, so he up and ask for drink of water. The gal, she took and fetched it.

"Mighty nice water, Brer Wolf." (The mosquitoes they zoom.)

"Some say it too full of wiggletails, Brer Rabbit." (The mosquitoes, they zoom and they zoom.)

"Mighty nice place you got, Brer Wolf." (Mosquitoes they zoom.)

"Some say it too low in the swamp, Brer Rabbit." (Mosquitoes they zoom and they zoom.)

They zoom so bad that Brer Rabbit begun to get scared, and when that critter get scared, he mind work like one of these here flutter-mills. By and by, he allow, "Went to town the other day, and there I seed a sight what I never 'spected to see."

"What that, Brer Rabbit?"

"Spotted horse, Brer Wolf."

"No, Brer Rabbit!"

"I most surely seed him, Brer Wolf."

Brer Wolf, he scratch he head, and the gal she held up her hands and make great admiration about the spotted horse. (The mosquitoes they zoom, and they keep on zooming.) 

Brer Rabbit, he talk on, he did, "It weren't just one spotted horse, Brer Wolf, it was a whole team of spotted horses, and they went galloping-up horses," says he. 

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"Let alone that, Brer Wolf, my grandaddy was spotted," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

Gal, she squeal and holler out, "Why, Brer Rabbit! Ain't you ashamed yo'self for to be talkin' that a-way, an' about yo' own-alone blood kin too?"

"It's the naked truth I'm a-givin' you," says Brer Rabbit, says he. (Mosquito zoom and come closer.)

Brer Wolf allow, "Well—well—well!"

Old Sis Wolf, she allow, "To be surely, to be surely!" (Mosquito zoom and come nigher and nigher.) 

Brer Rabbit allow, "Yessir! Just as sure as you are sitting there, my grandaddy was spotted. Spotted all over." (Mosquito come zooming up and light on Brer Rabbit jaw.) 

"He was that. He had a great big spot right here!" [storyteller slaps]

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No sooner is he do this than another mosquito come zooming 'round and light on Brer Rabbit leg. Brer Rabbit, he talk, and he talk, "Poor old grandaddy! I bound he make you laugh, he look so funny with all them spots and speckles. He had spot on the side of the head, where I done show you, and then he had another big spot right here on the leg," says he. [storyteller slaps]

Mosquito zoom and light 'twixt Brer Rabbit shoulder-blades. 

Then he talk, "Believe me or not believe me if you mind to, but my grandaddy had a big black spot up here on he back which look like saddle-mark."

Blip! Brer Rabbit took hisself on the back!

Mosquito sail 'round and zoom and light down here upon the hip-bone. He say he grandaddy got spot down there.

Blip! He took hisself upon the hip-bone.

It keep on this a-way, till by and by old Brer Wolf and old Sis Wolf they listen at Brer Rabbit till they begun to nod, and then old Brer Rabbit and the gal they sat up there and kill mosquitoes right along.

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I hear talk that Brer Wolf sent Brer Rabbit word next day that he can get the gal by going after her, but I ain't never hear talk about Brer Rabbit going. The day aftewards was mighty long time, and by then Brer Rabbit might've had some other project on hand.

C072. The Pimmerly Plum

38. The Pimmerly Plum. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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THE PIMMERLY PLUM

One time when the sun shine down mighty hot, old Brer Terrapin was going 'long down the road. He was going 'long down, and he feel mighty tired; he puff, and he blow, and he pant. He breath come like he got the asthma 'way down in he wind-pipe; but, nevermind! He the same old Creep-'em-crawl-'em Have-some-fun-'em. He was going 'long down the big road, old Brer Terrapin was, and by and by he come to the branch. He took and crawl in, he did, and got him a drink of water, and then he crawl out on the other side and set down under the shade of a tree. After he sort of catch he wind, he look up at the sun for to see what time of day is it, and, lo and beholds! He took and discover that he sitting in the shade of the sycamore tree. No sooner is he discover this than he sing the old song:
Good luck to them what come and go,
What sit in the shade of the sycamore.

Brer Terrapin he feel so good and the shade so cool, that it weren't long 'fore he got to nodding, and by and by he dropped off and went sound asleep. Course, Brer Terrapin carry he house with him everywhere he go, and when he fix for to go to sleep, he just shut the door and pull to the window-shutters, and there he is just as snug as the old black cat under the barn.

Brer Terrapin lay there, he did, and sleep, and sleep. He don't know how long he sleep, but by and by he feel somebody fooling 'long with him. He keep the door shut, and he lay there and listen. He feel somebody turning he house 'round and 'round. This sort of scare Brer Terrapin, 'cause he know that if they turn he house upside down he'll have all sorts of times getting back. With that, he open the door little ways, and he see Brer Fox projecting with him. He open the door little further, he did, and he break out in a great big horse-laugh, and holler, "Well! Well, Well! Who'd've thunk it! Old Brer Fox, cuter than the common run, is done come and caught me. And he come at such a time, too! I feels that full till I can't see straight scarcely. If there was any jealousness proned into me, I'd just lay here and pout 'cause Brer Fox done find out where I gets my Pimmerly Plum."

In them days, the Pimmerly Plum was monstrous scarce. Leaving out Brer Rabbit and Brer Terrapin there weren't none of the other critters that ever got a glimpse of it, let 'lone a taste. So then when Brer Fox hear talk of the Pimmerly Plum, bless gracious! He hoist up he head and let Brer Terrapin 'lone. Brer Terrapin keep on laughing and Brer Fox allow, "Hush, Brer Terrapin! You makes my mouth water! Where'bouts the Pimmerly Plum?"

Brer Terrapin, he sort of clear up the hoarseness in he throat, and sing, 

Pound of sugar, and a pint of rum,

Ain't nigh so sweet as the Pimmerly Plum!

Brer Fox, he lift up he hands, he did, and holler, "Oh, hush, Brer Terrapin! You makes me dribble! Where'bouts that Pimmerly Plum?"

'You standing right under the tree, Brer Fox!"

"Brer Terrapin, surely not!"

"Yet there you stands, Brer Fox!"

Brer Fox look up in the tree there, and he was astonished.

Well, then, when old Brer Terrapin vouch that them there sycamore balls was the genuine Pimmerly Plum, old Brer Fox, he feel mighty good, yet he don't know how he going get at 'em. Push him close, and maybe he might beat Brer Terrapin climbing a tree, but this here sycamore tree was too big for Brer Fox for to get he arms 'round. Then he up and allow, "I sees 'em hangin' there, Brer Terrapin, but how I gonna get 'em?"

Brer Terrapin open he door little ways and holler out, "Ah-yi! There where old Slickum Slow-come got the advantage! You are mighty pert, Brer Fox, yet somehow or other you ain't been a-keepin' up with old Slickum Slow-come."

"Brer Terrapin, how the name of goodness does you get 'em?"

"Don't do no good for to tell you, Brer Fox. Nimble heel make restless mind. You ain't got time for to wait and get 'em, Brer Fox."

"Brer Terrapin, I got all the week before me."

"If I tells you, you'll go an' tell all the the other critters, an' then that'll be the last of the Pimmerly Plum, Brer Fox."

"Brer Terrapin, that I won't. Just try me one time an' see."

Brer Terrapin shut he eye like he studying, and then he allow, "I tell you how I does, Brer Fox. When I wants a bite of the Pimmerly Plum right bad, I just takes my foot in my hand an' comes down here to this here tree. I comes an' I takes my stand. I gets right under the tree, an' I rears my head back an' opens my mouth. I opens my mouth, an' when the Pimmerly Plum drops, I bound you she drops right spang in there. All you got to do is to sit an' wait, Brer Fox."

Brer Fox ain't saying nothing. He just sat down under the tree, he did, and reared he head back, and open he mouth, and I wish to goodness you might've been had a chance for to see him setting there. He look scandalous, that's the long and the short of it; he just look scandalous.

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He sat there with he mouth wide open, and every time Brer Terrapin look at him, much as he can do for to keep from busting aloose and laughing.

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But by and by he make he way towards home, Brer Terrapin did, chuckling and laughing, and it weren't long 'fore he meet Brer Rabbit tipping 'long down the road.

Brer Rabbit, he hail him. "What amuse you so mighty well, Brer Terrapin?"

Brer Terrapin catch he breath after so long a time, and he allow, "Brer Rabbit, I'm that tickled till I can't shuffle 'long, scarcely, an' I'm feared if I up an' tell you the occasion of it, I'll be took with one of my spells where folks have to set up with me 'cause I laugh so loud an' laugh so long."

Yet after so long a time, Brer Terrapin up and tell Brer Rabbit, and they sat there and chawed tobacco and carried on just like sure enough folks. That they did!

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