Tuesday, December 11, 2018

C086. Rabbit and Mister Man's Money

52. Brother Rabbit Outdoes Mr. Man. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.


This here was the time when old Brer Rabbit was going 'long the big road, and he meet Mr. Man driving 'long with a wagon chock full of money.

Brer Rabbit, he come a-lippity-clippiting 'long the big road, and he ain't got no wagon full of money. Old Brer Rabbit, he up and took a notion that there's something wrong somewheres, 'cause if there weren't, he'd have just as much wagon and money as Mr. Man. He study, and study, and he can't make out how that is. By and by he up and holler out, "Mr. Man, please, sir, lemme ride."

Mr. Man, he took and stop he wagon, and allow, "Heyo, Brer Rabbit! How come dis? You coming one way and I going another; how come you want to ride?"

Brer Rabbit, he up and scratch hisself on the back of the neck with he behind foot, and holler out, "Mr. Man, you surely can't be acquainted 'long with me. I'm one of them there old-time kind of folks what ain't a-caring which way they're going long as they're riding."

After so long a time, Mr. Man agree to let Brer Rabbit ride a little piece. He try to get Brer Rabbit for to ride upon the seat with 'im so they can get to disputing one another, but Brer Rabbit say he feared he fall off, and he just took and sat right flat down in the bottom of the wagon, and make like he feared to move.

By and by, whiles they going down hill, and Mr. Man had to keep he eye on the horses, Brer Rabbit he took and fling out a great big hunk of the money. Just as the money hit the ground Brer Rabbit holler out, "Ow!"

Mr. Man look 'round and ask what the matter. Brer Rabbit allow, "Nothing at all, Mr. Man, excepting you about to jolt my jaw-bone a-loose."

They go on little further, and Brer Rabbit fling out another hunk of the money. When she hit the ground, Brer Rabbit holler, "Blam!"

Mr. Man look 'round and ask what the matter. Brer Rabbit allow, "Nothing at all, Mr. Man, excepting I seed a jaybird flying along, and I make like I had a gun."

It keep on this a-way till first news you know Mr. Man ain't got a sign of money in that wagon. Seem like Mr. Man ain't notice this till he get a mighty far ways from the place where Brer Rabbit drop out the last hunk; but, gentlemens! When he do find it out, you better believe he set up a howl.

"Where my money? Where my nice money? Where my wagon full of pretty money? Oh you long-eared rascal! Where my money? Oh, gimme my money!"

Brer Rabbit sat there and listen at 'im like he astonished. Then he up and allow, "Look out, Mr. Man! Folks'll come 'long and hear you going on that a-way, and they'll go off and say you done gone raving distracted."

Yet Mr. Man keep on hollering and begging Brer Rabbit for to give 'im the money, and by and by Brer Rabbit, he get sort of scared and he up and allow, "Sun getting low, Mr. Man, and I better be getting 'way from here. The sooner I goes the better, 'cause if you keep on like you going, it won't be long 'fore you'll be 'cusing me of taking that there money. I'm obliged for the ride, Mr. Man, and I wish you mighty well."

Brer Rabbit got the money, and it's mighty curious to me that he ain't get the wagon and horses. That it is!"

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