C145. Why Mr. Cricket Has Elbows on His Legs

2. Why Mr. Cricket Has Elbows on His Legs. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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GRANDADDY CRICKET in the CHIMNEY

I'm going tell you about old Grandaddy Cricket. He must've been a grandaddy long about the time that my great-grandaddy's great-grandaddy was working for his great-grandaddy. Howsomever that might be, old Grandaddy Cricket was on hand, and from all I hear he was bigger than a middling-size goat. All enduring of the hot weather, he'd stay out in the woods with his fife and his fiddle, and I expect he had great times. One day he'd fiddle for the fishes for to dance, and the next he'd learn the young birds how to whistle with his fife. Day in and day out he frolicked and had his fun, but by and by the weather begun to get cool and the days begun to get shorter, and old Grandaddy Cricket had to keep his hands in his pockets from soon in the morning till ten o'clock. And 'long about the time when the sun start down hill, he'd have to put his fiddle under his arm and his fife in his side-pocket.

This was bad enough, but worse come. It got so cold that Grandaddy Cricket can't scarcely walk till the sun was shining right over him. More than that, he begun to get hungry and stay hungry. If you'd've seed him in the hot weather, fiddling and dancing, and fifing and prancing, you'd've thunk that he had a stack of vittles put by as big as the barn back yonder; but by and by it got so cold that he know something got to be done. He know something got to be done, but how or when he couldn't've told you if it had've been the last act. He went along, creeping and crawling from post to pillar, and he remembered the days when he went with a hop, skip and a jump, but he was too cold for to cry.

He crept along, trying to keep on the sunny side of the world, till by and by, one day he seed smoke a-rising way off yonder, and he know'd mighty well that where there's smoke there pleased to be fire. He crept and he crawled, and by and by he come close enough to the smoke for to see that it was coming out of a chimney that'd been built on one end of a house. It weren't like the houses what you see up yonder in Atlanta, 'cause it was made out of logs, and the chink 'twixt the logs was stopped up with red clay. The chimney was made out of sticks and stones and mud.

Grandaddy Cricket was forty-eleven times bigger than what his family is these days, but he weren't so big that he couldn't crawl under the house, 'cause it was propped up on pillars. So under the house he went and scrounge close to the chimney for to see if he can't get some of the warmth, but, bless you, it was stone cold. If it had've been like the chimneys is these days, old Grandaddy Cricket would've friz stiff, but it was plain, everyday mud plastered on some sticks laid crossways. It was hard for old Grandaddy Cricket for to work his way into the chimney, but harder for to stay out of the cold—so he sat in to work. He gnawed and he sawed, he scratched and he clawed, he pushed and he gouged, and he shoved and he scrounged, till, by and by, he got where he could feel some of the warmth of the fire, and it weren't long 'fore he was feeling fine.

He ain't no sooner get thawed out than he begun to feel good. There was some cracks and crannies in the hearth of the fireplace, and when the chillun eat their mush and milk, some of the crumbs'd sift through the hearth. Old Grandaddy Cricket smelt 'em, and felt 'em, and held 'em, and after that you couldn't make him believe that he wasn't in hog-heaven.

The place where he was at weren't roomy enough for fiddling, but he took out his fife and begun to play on it, and every time he hear a noise he'd cut the tune short. He'd blow a little and then break off, but take the day as it come, he put in a right smart lot of fifing. When night come, and everything was dark down there where he was at, he just turned hisself loose. The chillun in the house, they just listen and laugh, but their daddy shake his head and look sour. There weren't no crickets in the country where he come from, and he weren't used to 'em. But the mammy of the chillun ain't pay no attention to the fifing; she just went on about her business like there ain't no cricket in the round world.

Old Grandaddy Cricket he fifed and fifed just like he was doing it for pay. He played the chillun off to bed and played 'em to sleep; he played till the old man got to nid-nid-nodding by the fire; he played till they* all went to bed except the mammy, and he played whiles she sat by the hearth, and dreamt about the times when she was a gal—the old times that make the grandchillun feel so funny when they hear tell about 'em.

Night after night the fifing went on, and by and by the man begun to get tired. The woman, she say that the crickets brung good luck, but the man, he say he'd rather have more luck and less fifing.

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So he holler down through the crack in the hearth, and tell old Grandaddy Cricket for to hush his fuss or change his tune. But the fifing went on. The man holler down and say that if the fifing don't stop, he going to pour boiling water on the fifer. old Grandaddy Cricket holler back:
Hot water will turn me brown,
And then I'll kick your chimney down.

The man, he grin, he did, and then he put the kettle on the fire and kept it there till the water begun to boil, and then, whiles the fifing was at the loudest, he took the kettle and tilted it so the scalding water will run down through the cracks, and then the first thing he knowed he ain't know nothing, 'cause the water weakened the clay and the hearth fell in and old Grandaddy Cricket sat in to kicking, and the chimney come down, it did, and bury the man, and when they got him out, he was one-eyed and splay-footed.

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The woman and the chillun ain't scarcely know him. They had to ask him his name, and where he come from, and how old he was; and after he satisfied 'em that he was the same man what been living there all the time, the woman say, "Ain't I tell you that crickets fetch good luck?" and the man, he allow, "Does you call this good luck?"

Old Grandaddy Cricket kicked so hard, and kicked so high, that he unjoined both his legs, and when he crawled out from the chimney, his elbows was where his knees ought to be at. There weren't but one thing he could do; he went on to next house and got in the chimney and he been living in chimneys off and on down to this day and time.

C148. Brother Rabbit and the Chickens

5. Brother Rabbit and the Chickens. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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One time, 'way back yonder there was a man what live neighbor to the critters. There weren't nothing queer about this Mr. Man; he was just a plain, everyday kind of man, and he try to get along the best he can. He ain't had no easy time, neither, 'cause it weren't then like it is now, when you can take your cotton or your corn to town and have the money planked down for you. In them times there weren't no town, and not much money. What folks there was had to get along by swapping and trafficking. How they done it, I'll never tell you, but do it they did, and it seem like they was in about as happy as folks is these days.

Well, this here Mr. Man what I'm a-telling you about, he had a truck patch, and a roasting-ear patch, and a goober patch. He growed wheat and barley, and likewise rye, and kiss the gals and make 'em cry. And on top of that, he had a whole yard full of chickens, and there's where the trouble come in. In them times, all of the critters was meat-eaters, and it was in about as much as they can do, and sometimes a little more, for to get along so they won't go to bed hungry. They got in the habit of being hungry, and they ain't never get over it. Look at Brer Wolf—gaunt; look at Brer Fox—gaunt! They ain't never been able for to make theyself fat.

So then, as you see 'em now, that the way they was in them days, and a little more so. Mr. Man, he had chickens, just like I tell you. Hens as plump as a partridge; pullets so slick they'd make your mouth water, and frying-size chickens that look like the* want to get right in the pan. Now, when that's the case, what you reckon going to happen? Brer Wolf want chicken, Brer Fox want chicken, and Brer Rabbit want chicken. And they ain't got nothing what they can swap for 'em. In these days they'd be called poor, but I take notice that poor folks gets just as hungry as the rich ones—and hungrier, when it comes to that; yes, Lord! Lots hungrier.

Well, the critters got mighty friendly with Mr. Man. They'd call on him, specially on Sundays, and he ain't had no better sense than to cluck up his chickens just to show 'em what a nice passel he had. When this happen, Brer Wolf under-jaw would tremble, and Brer Fox would dribble at the mouth same as a baby what cutting his toothies. As for Brer Rabbit, he'd just laugh, and nobody ain't know what he laughing at.

It went on this way till it look like nature can't stand it, and then, by and by, one night when the moon ain't shining, Brer Rabbit take a notion that he'd call on Mr. Man; but when he got to the place, Mr. Man done gone to bed. The lights was all out, and the dog was curled up under the house sound asleep.

Brer Rabbit shake his head. He allow, "Surely there's something wrong, 'cause always, when I come, Mr. Man call up his chickens where I can look at 'em. I don't know what the matter with him. And I don't see no chickens, neither. I bound you something done happen, and nobody ain't tell me the news, 'cause they know how sorry I'd be. If I could get in the house, I'd go in there and see if everything is all right; but I can't get in."

He walk all 'round, he did, but he ain't see nobody. He was so scared he'd wake 'em up that he walk on his tippy-toes. He allow, "If Mr. Man knowed I was here, he'd come out and show me his chickens, and I just might as well look in and see if they are all right."

With that he went to the chicken-house and peep in, but he can't see nothing. He went to the door, and found it unlocked. Brer Rabbit grin, he did, and allow, "Mr. Man most knowed that I'd be along some time to-day, and done gone and left his chicken-house open so I can see his pullets—and he knowed that if I can't see 'em, I'd want to feel 'em for to see how slick and pretty they is."

Brer Rabbit slap hisself on the leg and laugh fit to kill. He ain't make fuss enough for to wake Mr. Man, but he woke the fat hens and the slick pullets, and they ask one another what the name of goodness is the matter. Brer Rabbit laugh and say to hisself that if he'd've brung a bag, it'd make a good overcoat for four or five of the fat hens, and six or seven of the slick pullets.

Then he allow, "Why, what is I thinking about? I got a bag in my hand, and I forget that I had it. It's mighty lucky for the chickens that I fetch it, 'cause a little more—and they'd've been friz stiff!" So he scoop in the bag as many as he can tote.

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He allow, "I'll take 'em home and kind of get 'em warm, and tomorrow Mr. Man can have 'em back—if he want 'em." And with that he mighty nigh choke hisself trying for to keep from laughing. The chickens kind of flutter, but they ain't make much fuss, and Brer Rabbit flung the sack 'cross his shoulders and went off home just as gayly as a colt in a barley patch.

If Brer Rabbit had've been folks, it'd be called stealing, but you know mighty well that the critters don't know the difference 'twixt taking and stealing. When it come to that, there's a-plenty folks that ain't know the difference, and how you going to blame the critters?

Brer Rabbit took the chickens on home, he did, and made way with 'em. Now, that was the last of the chickens, but just the beginnings of the feathers. Ole Miss Rabbit, she want to burn 'em in the fire, but Brer Rabbit say the whole neighborhood would smell 'em, and he allow that he got a better way than that. So, next morning after breakfast, he borrowed a bag from old Brer Wolf, and into this he stuff the feathers, and start off down the road.

Well, sir, as luck would have it, Brer Rabbit had to pass by Brer Fox house, and who should be standing at the gate with his walking-cane in hand, but Brer Fox? Brer Fox, he fetched a bow, with, "Brer Rabbit, where you going?"

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Brer Rabbit allow, "If I had the wind, Brer Fox, I'd be going to mill. This here's a terrible load I got, and I don't know how soon I'll give out. I ain't strong in the back and limber in the knees like I used to be, Brer Fox. You may be holding you own, and I hope you is, but I'm on the down grade, there ain't no two ways about that." With that, he sat the bag down by the side of the road, and wipe his face with his handkerchief.

Brer Fox, he come on where Brer Rabbit was a-sitting at, and ask if it's corn or wheat. Brer Rabbit allow that it ain't neither one; it's just some stuff that he going to sell to the miller. 

Brer Fox, he want to know what it is so bad he ain't know what to do, and he up and ask Brer Rabbit pointedly. Brer Rabbit say he feared to tell him 'cause the truck what he got in the bag is the onliest way he can make big money. 

Brer Fox vow he won't tell nobody, and then Brer Rabbit say that being as him and Brer Fox is such good friends—neighbors, as you might say—he don't mind telling him, 'cause he know that after Brer Fox done promise, he won't breathe a word about it. Then he say that the truck what he got in the bag is roots of the Winniannimus grass, and when they're ground up at the mill, they are worth nine dollars a pound.

This make Brer Fox open his eyes. He felt the heft of the bag, he did, and he say that it's mighty light, and he don't know what make Brer Rabbit pant and grunt when it ain't no heftier than what it is.

Brer Rabbit allow that the bag wouldn't've felt heavy to him if he was big and strong like Brer Fox.

That kind of talk make Brer Fox feel biggity, and he allow that he'll tote the bag to mill if Brer Rabbit feel like it's too heavy. Brer Rabbit say he'll be mighty much obliged, and be glad for to pay Brer Fox something to boot. 

And so, off they put down the road, Brer Fox a-trotting and Brer Rabbit going in a canter. Brer Fox ask what they does with the Winniannimus grass after they gets it ground up at the mill. Brer Rabbit allow that rich folks buys it for to make Whipmewhopme pudding.

Brer Fox say he'll take some home when the miller get it ground and see how it tastes, and Brer Rabbit say he's more than welcome.

After they been going on some little time, Brer Rabbit look back and see Mr. Man a-coming, and he say to Brer Fox, says he, "Brer Fox, you is the outdoingest man I ever is see. You done got me plumg wore out, and I'm pleased to take a rest. You go on and I'll catch up with you if I can; if not, just wait for me at the mill."

Brer Fox allow, "Shucks, Brer Rabbit! You ain't acquainted with me; you don't know nothing at all about me. I can go on this a-way all day long and half the night."

Brer Rabbit roll his big eyes, and say, "Well, sir!" And then he sat down by the side of the road, and it was all he can do for to keep from busting out in a big laugh.

By and by, Mr. Man come along and say, "Who that with the big bag on his back?" 

Brer Rabbit make answer that it's Brer Fox.

Mr. Man say, "What he got in his bag?"

Brer Rabbit allow, "I ask him, and he say it's some kind of grass what he taking to the mill for to get ground, but I seed more than one chicken feather sticking to the bag."

Mr. Man say, "Then he's the chap what took and took my fat hens and my slick pullets, and I'll make him sorry that he ever is see a chicken."

With that he put out after Brer Fox, and Brer Rabbit, he put out too, but he stay in the bushes, so that nobody can't see him.

Mr. Man he catch up with Brer Fox, and ask him what he got in the bag. Brer Fox say he got Winniannimus grass what he going to have ground at the mill. Mr. Man say he want to see what Winniannimus grass look like.

Brer Fox sat the bag down and say that when it's ground up the rich folks buys it for to make Whipmewhopme pudding.

Mr. Man open the bag, and there weren't nothing in it but chicken feathers. He allow, "Whipmewhopme pudding! I'll whip you and whop you," and with that he grab Brer Fox in the collar, and mighty nigh flailed the life out of him.

Brer Rabbit seed it well done, and he just fell down in the bushes and roll and laugh till he can't laugh no more.

C149. Mister Cricket and Brer Rabbit Play a Trick

6. Little Mister Cricket and the Other Creatures. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg.I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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MISTER CRICKET and BRER RABBIT PLAY a TRICK

In the times when old Boss Elephant, and Brer Lion, and Brer Tiger was meandering round in there parts, little Mr. Cricket was on mighty good terms with 'em. As they say of folks, he stood mighty well where they knowed him—mighty well—and he was about the sharpest of the whole caboodle, if you'll leave out the name of Brer Rabbit.

It come about one time that the critters was all sunning theyself—it might've been Sunday for all I know—and they just stretch out and sat and sat round licking their chops, and blinking their eyes, and combing their hair. Mr. Elephant was swinging hisself backwards and forwards, and flinging the sand on his back for to keep off the flies, and all the rest was going on according to their breed and need.

If you'll watch right close, you'll find out for yourself that when folks ain't got much to do, and little or nothing for to talk about, they'll soon get to bragging, and that's just the way with the critters. Brer Fox start it up; he say, "Gents, 'fore I forget it off of my mind, I want to tell you that I'm the swiftest one in this bunch."

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Mr. Elephant wink one of his little eyeballs, and fling his snout in the air and whispered—and you might've heard that whisper a mile—"I'm the strengthiest; I want to call your attention to that."

Mr. Lion shook his mane and showed his tooths. He say, "Don't forget that I'm the King of all the critter tribe."

Mr. Tiger stretched hisself and gaped. He say, "I'm the prettiest and the most servigorous."

From one to the other the bragging went round. If it weren't this it was that, and if it weren't that, it was the other. They went on so till by and by little Mr. Cricket chirped up and say he can make all of 'em run they heads off, from old Mr. Elephant down to the last one. 

They all laugh like it's a good joke, and Brer Fox he allow that he had the idea that they was all doing some monstrous tall bragging, but Mr. Cricket was away ahead of the whole gang, and then he say, "How you going to begin for to commence for to do all these great deeds and didoes?" 

Mr. Cricket say, "Just give me time; give me time, and you'll all hear from me—you'll hear, but you won't stop for to listen," and then he work his jaws for all the world like Brer Rabbit does when he's chewing tobacco.

Now, old Brer Rabbit knowed that Mr. Cricket was up to some sharp trick or another, and so he wait till he can have a confab with him. He ain't had long to wait, 'cause Mr. Crickley Cricket make up his mind that Brer Rabbit was the one what can help him out. They both want to see one another, and when that's the case, there ain't much trouble about it. 

They soon got off by theyself, and Brer Rabbit allow that Mr. Cricket got a mighty big job on his hands, and Mr. Cricket, he say it's such a big job that he can't get through with it unless Brer Rabbit will help him out. Mr. Cricket say it ain't much he going to ask of Brer Rabbit, but little as it is, he pleased to ask it. 

Brer Rabbit look at him right hard and twist his mustache. "Out with it, Mr. Cricket; out with it, and I'll see if I can help you out. But I want you to take notice that all the others is got a crow for to pick with me, on account of the way I been doing."

Mr. Cricket chirp up, "So I hear, Brer Rabbit—so I hear," and then he went on for to tell Brer Rabbit what he want him to do. Brer Rabbit laugh, he did, and say, "If that's all you want, Mr. Cricket, you can count me in, 'cause I laid off for to help you lots more than that—lots more." Mr. Cricket say that'll be the greatest plenty, and with that they went off home for to kind of rest theyself, but not 'fore they fix on a day when they'll have time for to work their trick on the other critters.

They agreed on the day, and that day they met, and after colloquying together, off they put to the place where they expected to find the other critters. The first one they meet was old Mr. Elephant. They pass the time of day, they did, and Brer Rabbit say he got bad news. Mr. Elephant flung up his snout like he astonished, and swung backward and forwards like he about to cry. Brer Rabbit allow that the wind blowed a hickory-nut down right upon top of Mr. Cricket and cripple him so he can't go home, and he ask if Mr. Elephant won't tote him as far as he can. Mr. Elephant say to be sure he will, and be glad in the bargain, and so he kneel down, he did, and let Mr. Cricket crawl on his back.

But Mr. Cricket crawl further than the back; he crawl on Mr. Elephant neck, and then into his ear. This where he want to get, and soon as he got settle, he flutter his wings right fast and Mr. Elephant think the wind is blowing through the trees. Mr. Cricket flutter his wings harder, and Mr. Elephant think there's a storm corning up. He plunge through the bushes, he did, and if Mr. Cricket hadn't've been inside his ear, he'd've been knocked off by the limbs of the trees. As it was, he sat back and laugh, and say to hisself that Mr. Elephant ain't hear nothing at all to what he will hear.

With that, he tune up his whistle, and started for to blow on it. He blowed kind of low to begin with, and then he begun to get louder. And the louder he got the more he scared Mr. Elephant, and he went plunging through the woods same as a hurricane. 

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He went so fast that he come mighty nigh running over King Lion whiles he was talking to old Brer Tiger. He ain't hear 'em say, "Mr. Elephant, where you going?" but he stop right where they was and begun to turn round and round. 

King Lion ask him what the matter, and Mr. Elephant say he believe he going raving distracted. He allow, "I got a singing and a whistling in one of my ears, and I don't know which one it's in. Don't you all hear it?"

They listen, they did, and bless gracious, they can hear it. Old King Lion look like he astonished. He say, "It sounds for all the world, Mr. Elephant, like you just about to boil over, and if that's what you're going to do, I want to be out of the way—clean out of the way."

Mr. Elephant turn round and round, he did, and if he'd've been light-headed like some folks I knows, he'd've dropped right there. Mr. Cricket watch his chance, and when Mr. Elephant got nigh to King Lion, he took a flying jump and lit right in King Lion's mane, and it weren't long 'fore he made his way to the ear. But while he was making his way there Mr. Elephant stopped whirling round; he stop and listen, he did, and he ain't hear nothing; he listen some more and still he ain't hear nothing. He say, "I believe in my soul that I'm cured! I'm mighty glad I met you all, 'cause I know one of you is a doctor, and ever which one it is, he sure has done the work."

By this time, Mr. Cricket had got in King Lion ear, and it weren't long 'fore he start up his whistling. He whistle low for to start with, and King Lion hold his head sideways and listen. He say, "I still hears it, Mr. Elephant, and if you are cured I done caught the thing you had." Mr. Cricket went a little louder, and King Lion begun to back off like he had business to tend to. 

Mr. Tiger say, "Where you going? I hope you ain't scared of Brer Elephant, 'cause he ain't going to hurt you. If you going any where, you better turn 'round and go right."

But King Lion ain't pay no attention to Mr. Tiger; he just back off, he did, and wave his tail and shake his mane. Mr. Cricket begun to whistle louder and flutter his wings, and make 'em zoom like a locust. King Lion say, "I hear the wind a-blowing and I better get home to my wife and chillun," and off he put, running like he was going after the doctor. 

Mr. Tiger laugh, and say that some folks is so funny he don't know what to make of 'em. They stayed there confabbing, and by and by they hear a fuss, and here come King Lion going as hard as he can. Trying for to get away from the fuss in his ear, he had run all round till he come back again to where he start from. He had his tongue out, and his tail was drooping; he was mighty nigh wore out.

He say, "Heyo! What you all doing here? I had the idea that I left you back yonder where I come from." 

Mr. Elephant allow, "We ain't scarcely move out of our tracks. You run away and left us, and here you is back; what the name of goodness is the matter with you?"

King Lion say, "I done got a whistling in my head, and look like I can't escape from it. It's in there yet, and I don't know what I'm going to do about it."

Mr. Elephant say, "Do like I done—stand it the best you can."

Brer Tiger allow, "I hear it, and it sound exactly like you was about to boil over, and when you does I want to be out of the way."

By that time little Mr. Cricket had done made a flying jump and lit on Mr. Tiger, and it weren't long 'fore he was snug in Mr. Tiger ear. Mr. Tiger listen, he did, and then he begun to back off and wave his tail. 

Mr. Elephant swing his snout, and say, "What the matter, Mr. Tiger? I hope you ain't thinking about leaving us." But Mr. Tiger was done gone. He just flit away.

Long about that time, Mr. Rabbit come loping up, laughing fit to kill. He allow, "Brer Cricket say he going to make you all run and that's just what he done. Both of you been running 'cause I see you panting, and if you'll just wait here, Mr. Cricket will fetch Mr. Tiger back safe and sound."

And they ain't had to wait long, neither, 'cause by and by, here come Mr. Tiger, tongue out and tail a-drooping. He say, "Hello! How come you all to outrun me? I got the idea that you was back yonder in the woods where I come from." 

And then they got to laughing at him, and they laugh till they can't laugh no more. Mr. Cricket jump out of Mr. Tiger's ear, and get in the grass, and by and by he show hisself. He come close up with a "Howdy do, gents?' and they pass the time of day with him. 

By and by Mr. Elephant allow, "Mr. Cricket, ain't you say the other day that you was going to make we all run?"

And Mr. Cricket, he make answer, "Why, I wouldn't talk about running if I'd been running same as what you been doing."

Mr. Elephant swing his snout kind of slow and say, "How you know I been running?" 

Mr. Cricket allow, "I know because if I hadn't've held on monstrous tight, I'd've fell off; more than that, if I hadn't've stopped singing and whistling you'd've been running yet."

Mr. Elephant shu his two little eyes, and say, "Well, sir!"

The others mostly got away from them parts, 'cause they was scared Mr. Cricket would get on 'em again. King Lion say he got to look after some fresh meat what he got, Mr. Elephant say he pleased to go and cut some grass, and Mr. Tiger allow that he got to hunt up some vittles for his family. And as for Mr. Cricket, he climb on Brer Rabbit's back, and they mosied off somewheres, I don't know where. All I know is that they giggle as they went.

C152. Brother Fox Follows the Fashion

9. Brother Fox Follows the Fashion. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER FOX FOLLOWS the FASHION

Some folks cries, and other folks laughs. They got their reasons, too. Now, I don't know that old Brer Rabbit was hard-hearted or cold-blooded any more than the common run of the critters, but it look like he can see more to tickle him than the others, and he was constant a-laughing. Most of the time he'd laugh in his innards, but then again, when something touch his funny-bone, he'd open up with a big ha-ha-ha that'd make the other critters take to the bushes. And that was the way he done when old Craney-Crow had his head tooken off for to be in the fashion. He laugh and laugh till it hurt him to laugh, and then he laugh some more for good measure. He laughed plumb till morning, and then he laugh whiles he was racking on towards home. He'd lope a little ways, and then he'd sit down by the side of the road and laugh some more.

Whiles he going on this a-way, he come to the place where Brer Fox live at, and then it look like he can't get no further. If a leaf shook on the tree, it'd put him in mind of the hopping and jumping and scuffling that old Craney-Crow done when Doc Wolf took and took off his head for him.

As luck would have it, Brer Fox was out in his pea-patch for to see how his crop was getting on, and hunting round for to see if there was any stray tracks where somebody had been after his truck. Whiles he was looking around he hear someone laughing fit to kill, and he looked over the fence for to see who it is. There was Brer Rabbit just a-rolling in the grass and laughing hard as he can. Brer Fox allow, "Heyo, Brer Rabbit! What the name of goodness the matter with you?"

Brer Rabbit in the middle of his laughing can't do nothing but shake his head and kick in the grass.

About that time, old Miss Fox stuck her head out of the window for to see what going on. She say, "Sandy, what all that fuss out there? Ain't you know that the baby's just gone to sleep?"

Brer Fox, he say, "It ain't nobody in the round world but Brer Rabbit, and if I ain't mighty much mistooken, he done gone and got a case of the hysterics."

Old Miss Fox say, "I don't care what he got, I wish he'd go on 'way from there, or hush up his racket. He'll wake the chillun, and them what ain't asleep he'll scare the wits out of 'em."

With that, old Brer Rabbit catch his breath, and pass the time of day with Brer Fox and his old woman. Then he say, "You see me and you hear me, Brer Fox; well, just as you see me now, that the way I been going on all night long. I expect maybe it ain't right for to laugh at them what ain't got the sense they ought to been born with, but I can't help it for to save my life; I try, but the more what I try the worser I gets. I ought to be at home right now, and I would be if it hadn't've been for something I seed last night," and then he went to laughing again.

Old Miss Fox, she fix the bonnet on her head, and then she say, "What you see, Brer Rabbit? It must be mighty funny; tell us about it, and maybe we'll laugh with you."

Brer Rabbit allow, "I don't mind telling you, ma'am, if I can keep from laughing, but if I had to stop for to catch my breath, I know mighty well that you'll excuse me." 

Old Miss Fox say, "That we will, Brer Rabbit."

With that Brer Rabbit up and told all about old Craney-Crow coming in the Swamp, and not knowing how to go to bed. He say that the funny part of it was that old Craney-Crow ain't know that when anybody went to bed they ought to take their head off, and then he start to laughing again. 

Old Miss Fox look at her old man and he look at her; they don't know what to say or how to say it. 

Brer Rabbit see how they are doing, but he ain't pay no attention. He allow, "That old Craney-Crow look like he had travel far and wide; he look like he know what all the fashions is, but when he got in the Swamp and see all the critters—them what run and them what fly—sleeping with their heads off, he sure was took back; he say he ain't never hear of such doings as that. You done seed how country folks do—well, just that a-way he done. I been trying hard for to get home, and tell my old woman about it, but every time I gets a good start it pop up in my mind about how old Craney-Crow done when he find out what the fashion was in this part of the country."

And then Brer Rabbit set into laughing, and Brer Fox and old Miss Fox they joined in with him, 'cause they ain't want nobody for to get the idea that they don't know what the fashion is, specially the fashion in the part of the country where they are living at.

Old Miss Fox, she say that old Craney-Crow must be a funny sort of somebody not to know what the fashions is, and Brer Fox he agree till he grin and show his tooths. He say he ain't caring much about fashions hisself, but he wouldn't like for to be laughed at on the account of plain ignorance.

Brer Rabbit, he say he ain't making no pretense of doing everything that's done, 'cause he ain't that finicky, but when fashions is comfortable and cooling he don't mind following 'em for their own sake as well as his own. He say now that he done got in the habits of sleeping with his head off, he wouldn't no more sleep with it on than he'd fly.

Old Miss Fox, she up and respond, "I believe you, Brer Rabbit—that I does!"

Brer Rabbit, he make a bow, he did, and allow, "I know mighty well that I'm old-fashioned, and there ain't no denying it, Miss Fox, but when the new generation hit on to something that's cool and comfortable, I ain't the man to laugh at it just 'cause it's tolerable new. No, ma'am! I'll try it, and if it work all right I'll follow it; if it don't, I won't. The first time I try to sleep with my head off I was kind of nervous, but I soon got over that, and now if it was to go out fashion, I'd just keep right on with it, I don't care what the others'd think. That's me; that's me all over."

By and by, Brer Rabbit look at the sun, and just vow he pleased to get home. He wish old Miss Fox mighty well, and made his bow, and put out down the road at a two-forty gait. 

Brer Fox look kind of sheepish when his old woman look at him. He say that the idea of sleeping with your head off is brand new to him. Old Miss Fox allow that there's a heap of things in this world what he don't know, and what he won't never find out. She say, "Here I is a-scrimping and a-working my eyeballs out for to be as good as the best, and there you is a-projecting round and not a-caring whether your family is in the fashion or not."

Brer Fox allow that if sleeping with your head off is one of the fashions, he for one ain't caring about trying. Old Miss Fox say, "No, and you ain't a-caring what folks say about your wife and family. No wonder Brer Rabbit had to laugh whiles he was telling you about Craney-Crow, 'cause you stood there with your mouth open like you ain't got no sense. It'll be a pretty tale he'll tell his family about the tacky Fox family."

With that old Miss Fox switch away from the window and went to cleaning up the house, and by and by Brer Fox went in the house hoping that breakfast was ready; but there weren't no sign of nothing to eat. After so long a time, Brer Fox ask when he was going to get breakfast. His old woman allow that eating breakfast and getting it, too, was one of the fashions. If he ain't following fashions, she ain't neither. He ain't say no more, but went off behind the house and had a mighty time of thinking and scratching for fleas.

When bedtime come, old Miss Fox was mighty tired, and she ain't a-caring much about fashions right then. Just as she was fixing for to roll herself in the cover, Brer Fox come in from a hunt he'd been having. He fetch a weasel and a mink with him, and he put 'em in the cupboard where they'd keep cool. Then he wash his face and hands, and allow that he's ready for to have his head tooken off for the night, if his old woman'll be so good as to help him.

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By that time old Miss Fox had done got over the pouts, but she ain't got over the idea of following after the fashions, and so she say she'll be glad for to help him do what's right, seeing that he's so hard-headed in general. Then come the knotty part. Neither one of 'em knowed what they was about, and there they sat and jowered about the best way for to get the head off. Brer Fox say there ain't but one way, unless you twist the head off, and goodness knows he ain't want nobody for to be twisting his neck, 'cause he ticklish anyhow. That one way was to take the ax and cut the head off. Old Miss Fox, she squall, she did, and hold up her hands like she scared.

Brer Fox sat there looking up the chimney. By and by his old woman allow, "The ax look mighty scary, but one thing I know, and that ain't two, it ain't going to hurt you if it's the fashion." Brer Fox kind of work his under jaw, but he ain't saying nothing. 

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So his old woman went out to the woodpile and got the ax, and then she say, "I'm ready, honey, whenever you is,' and Brer Fox, he respond, "I'm just as ready now as I ever is to be," and with that she up with the ax and blip! She took him right on the neck. The head come right off with little or no trouble, and old Miss Fox laugh and say to herself that she glad they following the fashion at last.

Brer Fox sort of kick and squirm when the head first come off, but his old woman allow that that was the sign he was dreaming, and after he lay right still she say he was having a better night's rest than what he'd had in a mighty long time. And then she happen for to think that whiles her old man done gone and got in the fashion, there she was ready for to go to bed with her head on. She don't know how to get her head off, and she try to wake up her old man, but it look like he was one of them stubborn kind of sleepers what won't be wokened after they once drop off. She shake him and holler at him, but it ain't do no good. She can't make him stir, spite of all the racket she make, and she had to go to bed with her head on.

She went to bed, she did, but she ain't sleep good, 'cause she had trouble in the mind. She'd wake up and turn over, and roll and toss, and wonder what the other critters'd say if they knowed she was so far out of the fashion as to sleep with her head on. And she had bad dreams; she dreamt that Brer Rabbit was laughing at her, and she start for to run at him, and the first news she knowed the dogs was on her trail and going in full cry. It was that a-way all night long, and she was more than thankful when morning come.

She try to wake up her old man, but still he won't be woke. He lay there, he did, and won't budge, and by and by old Miss Fox get mad and go off and leave him. After so long a time she went back to where he was laying, and he was just like she left him. She try to roust him up, but he won't be rousted. She holler so loud that Brer Rabbit which he was going by, got the idea that she was calling him, and he stick his head in the door and allow, "Is you calling me, ma'am?"

She say, "Lord! Brer Rabbit? I ain't know you was anywheres around. I been trying for to wake up my old man; he more lazier this morning than I ever is know him to be. If my house weren't all 'full up, I'd ask you in and get you to drag him out and get him up."

Brer Rabbit say, "If there ain't nothing the matter with Brer Fox he'll get up in good time." 

Old Miss Fox allow, "Ord! I don't know what you call good time. Look at the sun—it's 'way up yonder, and there he is sleeping like a log. 'Fore he went to bed he made me take his head off, and he ain't woke up since."

"And how did you get it off, ma'am?' says old Brer Rabbit, says he. 

"I took and took the ax and cut it off," says she. 

With that Brer Rabbit flung both hands over his face, and mosied off like he was crying. From the way he look you'd've thunk his heart was broke; yet he weren't crying.He was just a-laughing—laughing fit to kill. 

When old Miss Fox see him going long like he was crying, she suspicioned that something was wrong, and sure enough it was, 'cause Brer Fox ain't wake up no more. She allow, "Old honey look like he dead, but he better be dead than out of the fashion!"

C154. Brer Deer and King Sun's Daughter

11. Brother Deer and King Sun's Daughter. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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BRER DEER and KING SUN'S DAUGHTER

Once upon a time, when there was mighty few folks in the world, if any, Brer Deer fell in love with old King Sun's daughter. You needn't to get the idea in your head that old King Sun is like he was in them days. No, bless you! He was just as different as them times was from these times. He was closer by, and he ain't hide out at night like he does now. He was up in the sky, but he ain't live as high up; he was more neighborly, as you may say.

He live so close by that he used to send the house-gal down to the spring for drinking-water. Three times a day she'd come to fetch it; she'd climb down with the bucket in her hand and she'd climb back with the bucket on her head, and she'd sing both ways, coming and going. In them times they all knowed that old King Sun had a daughter, but they ain't know what her name is; and they know she was pretty. Well, Brer Deer he hear talk and her, and he took a notion that he going to marry her, but he don't know how he going to get up there where she live at. He study and study, but he can't find no way.

He was sitting down by the road studying out a plan for to get word to the gal, when old Brer Rabbit come loping down the lane. He must a been playing horse, 'cause when he see Brer Deer, he shied and sneezed, he did, and make like he going to run away. But he ain't run. He pass the time of day with Brer Deer and ask him how his corporosity seem to segashuate. Brer Deer allow that his corporosity is segashuating all right, but he got trouble in his mind and he can't get it out. He looked mighty solemncholy when he say this, and Brer Rabbit say he sorry.

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He sat down, Brer Rabbit did, and cross his legs, and rub his chin same like the doctor do when he going to slap a dose of bitter truck on you insides. He rub his chin, he did, and look like he know all there is for to be knowed. He say, "Brer Deer, when I was growing up I used to hear the old folks say that a light heart made a long life, and I believe 'em. I sure does. They knowed what they was talking about, 'cause I done had the experience of it."

Brer Deer shook his head and grieve. If he'd've had a handkerchief, he've had need of it right then and there, but he wink his eye fast for to get the tears out of 'em. He allow, "I expect you are telling me the truth, Brer Rabbit, but I can't help it if you is. I am what I am, and I can't be no ammer. I feels more like crying than I does like eating, and I'm that fractious that I can't scarcely see straight. Old Mr. Ram told me howdy a while ago, and I ain't done a thing but run at him an butt him slantways. You needn't to tell me that I ain't got no business for to do that a-way; I just can't help it."

Brer Rabbit kind of edge hisself away from Brer Deer. He say, "That being the case, Brer Deer, I expect I better give you more room. When I left home this morning my old woman allow, "You better take care of yourself, honey,” and I'm going to do that identical thing. I don't know that I'm scared of getting hurted, but I'm monstrous ticklish when the horned critters is round."

Brer Deer say, "You needn't to be feared of me, Brer Rabbit. I been knowing you a long time, and many's the night that we both graze in the same pasture, you a-nibbling on the green grass and me a-cropping it. I'm monstrous glad I run across you, 'cause if I can't tell my troubles to some one, I believe in my soul I'll bust wide open."

With that Brer Deer went on for to tell Brer Rabbit that he done fell dead in love with old King Sun's daughter. He don't know how come it to be so, but anyhow so it is. He ain't had no talk with her; he ain't more than catch a glimpse of the gal, yet there he was dead in love with her. Brer Rabbit might laugh at him if he want to; he'll just sit there and take it. He talk and talk, he did, till Brer Rabbit got right sorry for him. He sat there, he did, and study, and he tell Brer Deer that he'll help him if he can, and he most know he can.

Brer Deer raise his head, and open his eyes. He say, "Brer Rabbit, you astonish me—you sure does. If you'll help me out in this, I'll stand by you through thick and thin."

But Brer Rabbit say he ain't doing it for no pay; he done lay by his crop, and he ain't got nothing much to do, and he say he'll help Brer Deer just for to keep his hand in. Brer Deer look like he was mightily helped up. First he smiled a smile, and then he broke out in a laugh. He say, "You are the man for my money!"

Brer Rabbit kind of wiggle his nose. He say, "If you keep your money till you think you got too much, you'll have it by you for many a long year to come."

With that, he got up and brush the dust off of his britches, and shook hands with Brer Deer. He say, "I hope for to have some good news for you the next time we meet in the big road."

He bowed, he did, and then off he put, lippity-clip. He look back for to see if Brer Deer was following him, but Brer Deer had sense enough for to hunt him a cool place in the woods, where he can take the first nap what he had in many a night and day.

Brer Rabbit lope off towards the spring, 'cause he knowed that the spring was the place where King Sun's house-gal come after water—and she had to tote a mighty heap of it. It look like the more water what King Sun drunk the more he want, and that being the case, the gal had about as much toting as she can do. Brer Rabbit went down to the spring, but there weren't nobody there, and he look in it and see hisself in the water. There he was, his hair all combed, his face clean, and he look slicker than sin. He laugh, he did, and say to the Rabbit what he see in the water, "You sure is mighty good-looking, whoever you is, and if you blame anybody, don't blame me, 'cause I can't help it."

Now, down at the bottom of the spring was old man Spring Lizard. He was taking his morning nap, when he hear someone talking. He raise up, he did, and listen; then he look and see Brer Rabbit looking at hisself in the water, and he holler out, "Maybe you ain't as good-looking as you think you is."

Brer Rabbit holler back, "Hello there! This is the first time I knowed that your shadow in the water can talk back at you."

With that, Mr. Spring Lizard come from under the green moss, and float to the top of the water. He pass the time of day with Brer Rabbit, and ask him where he going, and what he going to do when he get there. Brer Rabbit allow that he trying for to do a good turn to a friend what's in trouble and then he went on and told the old Spring Lizard about Brer Deer and King Sun's daughter. The Spring Lizard say she's a mighty likely gal, 'cause he seed her one time when she slip off and come with the house-gal after water. He say she got long hair that look like spun silk, and eyes that shine like the morning star.

Brer Rabbit say he don't dispute it, but what he want to know is how he can get word to King Sun about Brer Deer. The Spring Lizard say that's easy. He say that when the house-gal come after water, she had to let down the step-ladder, and Brer Rabbit can slip by her and go up, or he hisself can get in the bucket and go up. Brer Rabbit say he kind of dubious about going, 'cause he's a kind of home body, and then the Spring Lizard allow that if Brer Deer will write a note, he'll take it.

Well, Brer Deer can't write and Brer Rabbit can; so they fix it up 'twixt 'em, and it weren't long 'fore they had the note writ, and Brer Rabbit took it and give it to the Spring Lizard. He say, "Don't let it get wet, whatever you does," and the Spring Lizard ask how it going to get wet when he put it in his pocket? He say that everybody but him, the fishes, and the frogs got a wrong idea about water, 'cause it ain't wet as it might be, excepting on a rainy day.

Time went on just like it do now; night swung by and day swung in, and here come King Sun's house-gal after a bucket of water. She let down the step-ladder and come singing to the spring. She dropped her bucket in, and the Spring Lizard stepped in, and crept round to where the shadow was the heaviest. The gal climbed up the step-ladder, and pulled it after her, and went along the path to King Sun's house. She took the water in the sitting-room for to give King Sun a fresh drink, and he grabbed up the gourd and drunk and drunk till it look like he going to bust. After that he went in the livery, and the Spring Lizard crept out and left Brer Deer note on the table, and then he crept back in the bucket.

After while, King Sun's daughter come bouncing in the room after a drink of water, and she see the note. She grab it up and read it, and then she holler, "Pa, oh, pa! Here's a letter for you, and I most know there's something in it about me! Lord! I don't know who it is that's got the impudence for to put my name in a letter."

Old King Sun run his fingers through his beard, just like he combing it, and then he clear up his throat. He take the letter and hold it off from him, and then put on his specs. He allow, "Well, well, well! Who'd've thunk it?' and then he look at his daughter. She look at the floor and pat her foot. He say, "I ain't never hear of such impudence."

The gal allow, "What do he say, pa?' 

With that, he hand her the letter, and when she read it, she got red in the face, and then she got white. She think one way, and then she think another. She got mad and she got glad, and then she had the all-overs, just like gals does these days when someone ask 'em for to have 'em.

So then, there it was; Brer Deer want to marry the gal, and the gal don't know whether she want to marry or not. Then old King Sun got his pen, and put a little water in the ink, 'cause it was mighty nigh dried up, and then he writ a letter back to Brer Deer. He say that if the one what writ the letter will send him a bag of gold, he can have the gal. He fold the letter up and hand it to the gal, and she not knowing what else to do, took and put it on the table where she find the other one.

The Spring Lizard had his eye on her, and when she went out of the room, he climbed up on the table and got the letter, and went back in the bucket again. That evening the house-gal had to fetch water for the night, and she let down the step-ladder and went to the spring. When she dip the bucket in, the Spring Lizard, he slid out, and went to his bed under the long green moss. it weren't long 'fore Brer Rabbit had the letter, and after that, it weren't no time 'fore Brer Deer knowed what the intents was. Betwixt and between 'em they got up a bag of gold, and Brer Rabbit took it to the spring where the house-gal got water.

The next morning the daughter come herself, 'cause she want to see what kind of man Brer Deer is. At the spring she find a bag of gold. She clap her hands and holler out, "Look what I find—find, find, findy! It's mine—mine, mine, miney!"

Brer Rabbit was sitting in the bushes, and Brer Deer weren't far off, and they both watch the gal a-prancing and dancing; and then, by and by Brer Deer went out where she can see him, and he just walk up to her and say, "Look what I find; honey, you are mine!" and that was the way Brer Deer got old King Sun's daughter.

C159. Brother Rabbit and Miss Nancy

16. Brother Rabbit and Miss Nancy. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to

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BRER RABBIT and MISS NANCY

Brer Rabbit was a heap bigger in them days than what he is now. It looks like the family done run to seed, and I bet you that ninety-nine thousand year from this very day, the Rabbit crowd won't be bigger than field-mice—I bet you that. He weren't only bigger, but he was mighty handy about a farm, when he took a notion, specially if Mr. Man had any greens in his truck-patch. Well, one time, times was so hard that he had to hire out for his vittles and clothes. He had the idea that he was getting a mighty heap for the work he done, and Mr. Man tell his daughter that he getting Brer Rabbit mighty cheap. They was both satisfied, and when that's the case, everybody else ought to be satisfied. Brer Rabbit can hoe taters, and chop cotton, and fetch up brushwood, and split the kindling, and do right smart.

He say to hisself, Brer Rabbit did, that if he ain't getting no money and mighty few clothes, he bound he'd have a plenty vittles. The first week or two, he ain't cut up no shines; he was getting used to the place. He stuck to his work right straight along till Mr. Man say he one of the best hands on the whole place, and he tell his daughter that she better sat her cap for Brer Rabbit. The gal she toss her head and make a mouth, but all the same she begun to cast sheep eyes at him.

One fine day, when the sun shining mighty hot, Brer Rabbit begun to get mighty hungry. He say he want some water. Mr. Man say, "There the bucket, and yonder the spring. Everything fix so you can get water monstrous easy."

Brer Rabbit get the water, but still there was a gnawing in his stomach, and by and by he say he want some bread. Mr. Man say, "It ain't been so mighty long sense you had breakfast, but no matter about that. Yonder's the house, in the house you'll find my daughter, and she'll give you what bread you want."

With that Brer Rabbit put out for the house, and there he find the gal. She say, "Lord, Brer Rabbit, you ought to be at work, but instead of that here you is at the house. I hear pap say that you are mighty good worker, but if this the way you does you work, I don't know what make him say so."

Brer Rabbit say, "I'm here, Miss Nancy, 'cause you daddy sent me."

Miss Nancy allow, "Ain't you ashamed of yourself for to talk that a-way? You know pap ain't sent you."

Brer Rabbit say, "Yes ma'am, he did," and then he smiled one of these here lopsided smiles. 

Miss Nancy kind of hang her head and allow, "Stop looking at me so brazen."

Brer Rabbit stood there with his eyes shut, and he ain't say nothing. 

Miss Nancy say, "Is you gone to sleep? You ought to be ashamed for to drop off that a-way where there's ladies."

Brer Rabbit make a bow, he did, and allow, "You told me not to look at you, and if I ain't to look at you, I just as well to keep my eyes shut."

The gal she giggle and say Brer Rabbit oughtn't to make fun of her right before her face and eyes. She ask what her pap sent him for, and he allow that Mr. Man sent him for a dollar and a half, and some bread and butter. Miss Nancy say she don't believe him, and with that she run down towards the field where her pa was working and hollow at him—"Pap! Oh, pap!" Mr. Man make answer, "Hey?" and the gal say, "Is you say what Brer Rabbit say you say?' Mr. Man he holler back that that's just what he say, and Miss Nancy she run back to their house, and give Brer Rabbit a dollar and a half and some bread and butter.

Time passed, and every once in a while Brer Rabbit'd go to the house enduring the day, and tell Miss Nancy that her daddy say for to give him money and some bread and butter. And the gal, she'd go part of the way to where Mr. Man is working, and holler and ask if he say so, and Mr. Man'd holler back, "Yes, honey, that what I say." 

It got so after while that there ain't so mighty much money in the house, and about that time, Miss Nancy, she had a beau, which he used to come to see her every Sunday, and sometimes Saturday, and it got so, after while, that she won't scarcely look at Brer Rabbit.

This make him laugh, and he kind of studied how he going to get even with 'em, 'cause the beau got to flinging his sass round Brer Rabbit, and the gal, she'd giggle, as gals will. But Brer Rabbit just sat there, he did, and chew his tobacco, and spit in the fire. 

But one day Mr. Man hear him talking to hisself whiles they are working in the same field, and he ask Brer Rabbit what he say. Brer Rabbit allow that he just trying for to learn a speech what he hear a little bird say, and with that he went on digging in the ground just like he don't care whether anything happen or not. But this don't satisfy Mr. Man, and he ask Brer Rabbit what the speech is. Brer Rabbit allow that the way the little bird say it there ain't no sense to it far as he can see. But Mr. Man keep on asking him what it is, and by and by he up and allow, "The beau kiss the gal and call her honey; then he kiss her again, and she give him the money."

Mr. Man say, "Which money?"

Brer Rabbit allow, "You are too much for me. They tells me that money's money, no matter where you get it, or how you get it. If the little bird weren't singing a song, then I'm mighty much mistooken."

But this don't make Mr. Man feel no better than what he been feeling. He went on working, but all the time the speech that the little bird made was running in his mind: 

De beau kiss the gal, and call her honey;

Then he kiss her again, and she give him the money.

He keep on saying it over in his mind, and the more he say it the more it worry him. That night when he went home, the beau was there, and he was more gayly than ever. He flung sass at Brer Rabbit, and Brer Rabbit just sat there and chew his tobacco, and spit in the fire. 

Then Mr. Man went to the place where he keep his money, and he find it most all gone. He come back, he did, and he say, "Where my money?" 

The gal, she ain't want to have no words 'fore her beau, and respond, "You know where it is just as well as I does."

And the man say, "I expect you are right about that, and since I does, I want you to pack up and get right out to this house and take you beau with you."

And so there it was.

The gal, she cry some, but the beau marched her up, and they went off and got married, and Mr. Man took all his things and move off somewheres, I don't know where, and there weren't nobody left in them neighborhoods but me and Brer Rabbit. The gal, she told her chillun about how Brer Rabbit had done her and her pa, and from that time on, they are been pursuing on after him.

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C160. The Hard-Headed Woman

16. The Hard-Headed Woman. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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THE HARD-HEADED WOMAN

Once upon a time — it might've been in the Year One for all I know — there was a woman that live in a little cabin in the woods not so mighty far from water. Now, this woman and this cabin might've been in the United State of Georgia, of they might've been in the United State of Alabama — you can put 'em where you please just like I does. But at one place or the other, and at one time or another, this woman live there just like I'm a-telling you. She live there, she did, and first and last there was a mighty heap of talk about her. Some say she was black, some say she was mighty nigh white, and some say she weren't as black as she might be; but them what knowed, they say she was nine parts Indian and one part human, and I expect that's just as close to truth as we can get in this kind of weather if we going to keep cool. From all I can hear — and I been keeping both ears wide open, she was a monstrous busy woman, 'cause it was the talk amongst the neighbors that she done a heap of things what she ain't got no business to do. She had a mighty bad temper, and her tongue was a-running from morning till night. Folks say that it was long and loud and mighty well hung. They listen and shake their head, and after while word went round that the woman done killed her daughter. As to that, I ain't never is hear the rights of it; she might, and then again she mightn't — there ain't no tellin' — but there was one thing certain and sure she done so queer, that folks say she cut up just like a Friday-born fool.

Her old man, he done the best that he could. He went along and tend to his own business, and when her tongue begun to clack, he sat down and made fish-baskets, and ax-helves. But that ain't make no difference to the woman, 'cause she was one these here kind what could quarrel all day whether there was anybody for to quarrel at or not. She quarreled and she quarreled. The man, he ain't say nothing but this just make her quarrel the more. He split up kindling and chopped up wood, and still she quarreled; he fetch home meal and he fetch home meat, but still she quarreled. And she refuse for to cook what he want her to cook; she was hard-headed, and she'd have her own way if she died for it.

If the man, he say, "Please, ma'am, cook me some grits," she'd whirl in and boil greens; if he ask for fried meat, she'd bake him a hoe-cake or cornbread. If he want roast tater she'd boil him a mess of beans, and all the time, she'd be giving him the worse kind of sass. Oh, she was a honey! And when it come to low-down meanness, she was rank and ripe. She'd take the sparrow-grass what he fetch, and kindle the fire with it. She'd burn the spare-ribs and scorch the tripe, and she'd do every kind of way but the right way, and that she wouldn't do, not to save you life.

Well, this went on and went on, and the man ain't make no complaints; he just watch and wait and pray. But after so long a time, he see that that ain't going to do no good, and he took and change his plans. He spit in the ashes, he did, and he make a cross-mark, and turn round twice so he can face the sunrise. Then he shook a gourd-vine flower over the pot, and something told him for to take his rest and wait till the moon come up. 

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All this time the woman, she was a-quarreling, but by and by, she went on about her business, and the man had some peace; but not for long. He ain't no more than had time for to put some thunderwood buds and some calamus-root in the pot, than here she come, and she come a-quarreling. She come in she did, and she slam things round, and after kicking up a rippet and making the place hot as she can, the woman made a big fire under the pot, and flewed round there just like she trying for to cook a sure enough supper. She made some dumplings and flung 'em in the pot; then she put in some peas and big pods of red pepper, and on top of all she flung a sheep's head. 

The man, he sat there, and look straight at the cross-mark what he done made in the ashes. Afterwhile, he begun to smell the calamus-root a-cooking and he knowed by that, that something was going to happen.

De pot, it boiled, and boiled, and first news you know, the sheep's head begun to butt the dumplings out, and the peas, they flewed out and rattled on the floor like a bag of bullets done busted. 

The woman, she run for to see what the matter is, and when she got close to the pot the steam from the thunderwood it her in the face and eyes and come mighty nigh taking her breath away. This kind of stumped her for a minute, but she had a temper big enough for to drag a bull down, and all she had to do when she lose her breath was to fling her hands in the air and fetch a snort, and there she was.

She mighter been mad before, but this time she was mighty nigh plumb crazy. She look at the pot, and she look at her old man; she shut her eyeballs and clinched her hands; she jerked off her head-handkerchief, and pulled her hair loose from the wrapping-strings; she stomped her foot, and smashed her toothies together.

She railed at the pot; she allow, "What ail you, you black Dickens? I believe you are the own brother to the Old Boy! You been fooling with me for the longest, and I ain't going to put up with it! I'm going to tame you down!" With that, she flung off the homespun sack what she been wearing and run out of the house and got the ax.

Her old man say, "Where you going, honey?"

She allow, "I'm a-going where I'm a-going, that's where I'm a-going!" 

The man, he ain't respond to that kind of talk, and the woman, she went out in back yard for to hunt for the ax. Look like she going to keep on getting in trouble, 'cause the ax was on top of the wood what the man done pile up out there. The ax was on top of woodpile, and when it seed the woman coming, it just turned loose and slip down on the other side. 

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It weren't trying for to show off, like I've seed some folks 'fore now; it just turned loose everything and fell down on the other side of the woodpile. And whiles the woman was going round after it, the ask, it climbed back on top of the woodpile and fell off on the other side. Them what handed the tale down to me ain't say how long the woman and the ax keep this up, but if a ax is got eyes, it ain't got but one leg, and it must not've been so mighty long 'fore the woman catch up with it — and when she did she was so mad that she could've bit a railroad track in two, if there'd've been one anywhere's round there.

Well, she got the ax, and it look like she was madder than ever. The man, he say, "Better let the pot alone, honey; if you don't you'll surely wish you had've."

The woman, she squall out, "I'll let you alone if you fool with me, and if I do you won't never pester nobody no more."

Man, he say, "I'm a-telling you the truth, honey, and this may be the last chance you'll get to hear it."

The woman raise the ax like she going to hit the man, and then it look like she took another notion, and she start towards the pot. 

The man, he allow, "You better hear me, honey! You better drop the ax and go out doors and cool yourself off, honey!" It seem like he was a mighty soft-spoken man, with nice feelings for all. 

The woman, she say, "Don't you dares to honey me — if you does I'll brain you instead of the pot!" 

The man smiled a long smile and shook his head; he say, "All the same, honey, you better pay attention to these last words I'm a-telling you!"

But the woman, she just keep right on. She'd've gone faster than what she did, but it look like the ax got heavier every step she took — heavier and heavier. And it look like the house got bigger — bigger and bigger; and it seem like the door got wider — wider and wider! She might've seed all this, and I expect she did, but she just keep right on, shaking the ax, and mouthing to herself. The man, he holler once more and for the last time, "Don't let Old Nick fool you, honey; if you does, he sure will get you!"

But she keep on and keep on, and the house got bigger and the door got wider. The pot see her coming, and it got from a-straddle of the fire where it had been sitting at, and skipped out the door and out in the yard.

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The woman, look like she astonished, but her temper kept hot, and she run out after the pot with the ax as high as she can hold it; but the pot keep on going, skipping long on three legs faster than the woman can run on two; and the ax kept on getting heavier and heavier, till, by and by, the woman had to drop it. Then she lit out after the pot like she was running a foot-race, but fast as she run, the pot run faster.

The chase led right into the woods and down the spring branch, and away over yonder beyond the creek. The pot went so fast and it went so far that after while the woman begun to get weak. But the temper she had held her up for the longest, and more than that, every time she'd sort of slack up, the pot would dance and caper round on its three legs, and do like it's giving her a dare — and she keep a-going till she can't hardly go no further.

The man he stayed at the house, but the woman and the pot ain't get so far but what he can hear 'em scuffling and scrambling round in the bushes, and he sat there, he did, and look like he right sorry for anybody what's as hard-headed as the woman. But she look like she pleased to catch that pot. She say to herself that folks will never get done talking about her if she let herself be outdone by a old dinner-pot what been in the family ever since there been any family.

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So she keep on, till she tripped up on a vine of the bamboo brier, and down she come! It seem like the pot seed her, and instead of running from her, here it come a-running right at her with a chunk of red fire. Oh, you can laugh, honey, and look like you don't believe me, but that ain't make no difference, 'cause the truth ain't never been hurted yet by them what ain't believe it. I don't know where the chunk of fire come from, and I don't know how the dinner-pot come to have motion, but there it is in the tale — take it or leave it, just as you please.

Well, sir, when the woman fell, the pot made at her with a chunk of red fire. The woman see it coming, and she sat up a squall that might've been heard a mile. She jump up, she did, but it seem like she was so weak and tired that she can't stand on her foots, and she start for to fall again, but the dinner-pot was there for to catch her when she fell. And that was the last that anybody ever is see of the hard-headed woman. Leastways, she ain't never come back to the house where the man was sitting at.

The pot, well, the way they got it in the tale is that the pot just laugh till it had to hold its sides for to keep from cracking open. It come a-hopping and a-skipping up the spring path. It hopped along, it did, till it come to the house, and it made a running jump in the door. Then it wash its face, and scrape the mud off of its foots, and wiped off the grease what the woman been too lazy for to clean off. Then it went to the fireplace, and kind of straddle out so it'll fit the bricks what been put there for it to sit on.

The man watch all this, but he ain't say nothing. After while he hear a mighty boiling and bubbling and when he went to look for to see what the matter, he see his supper cooking and after so long a time, he fish it out and eat it. He eat in peace, and after that he always had peace. And when you want to be hard-headed, and have you own way, you better bear in mind the woman and the dinner-pot.

Told by Uncle Remus: Ver Beck - Conde - Frost

Title: Told by Uncle Remus
Author: Harris, Joel Chandler
Illustrator: Ver Beck, Frank
Illustrator: Conde, J. M.
Illustrator: Frost, A. B.
Year: 1905
Source: Internet Archive
Images: Flickr Album

The illustrations by Conde are very distinctive, and so are the Frost illustrations, so I am assuming the remainder are by Ver Beck.

It is bad enough when artists assume that the human characters like Miss Meadows and Mr. Man, etc., are white, but it is worse when they draw the characters as if they were blackface grotesques. For that reason, I have not included this illustration by Ver Beck on the story page for Brer Rabbit and Miss Nancy.