C035. Mr. Fox and Miss Goose

1. Mr. Fox and Miss Goose. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

MR. FOX and MISS GOOSE

(image source)

There here gooses is mighty curious fowls; they are mighty curious. In old times they was amongst the big-bugs, and in them days, when old Miss Goose begun a-dining, all the quality was there. Likewise, and neither was they stuck-up, 'cause with all their carrying-ons, Miss Goose weren't too proud for to take in washing for the neighborhoods, and she make money, and get slick and fat.

This the way matters stand when one day Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit, they was sitting up at the cotton-patch, one on one side the fence, and the other one on the other side, going on with one another, when first news they know, they hear something—blim, blim, blim!

Brer Fox, he ask what that fuss is, and Brer Rabbit, he up and respond that it's old Miss Goose down at the spring. Then Brer Fox, he up and ask what she doing, and Brer Rabbit, he say, sezee, that she battling clothes. That what they call it them days. These times, they rubs clothes on these here boards what got furrows in 'em, but them days they just took and took the clothes and lay 'em out on a bench, and catch hold of the battling-stick and naturally paddle the filling out of 'em.

When Brer Fox year that old Miss Goose was down there dabbling in soapsuds and washing clothes, he sort of lick he chops, and allow that some of these odd-come-shorts he going to call and pay he respects.

The minute he say that, Brer Rabbit, he know something was up, and he allow to hisself that he expect he better whirl in and have some fun whiles it going on.

By and by Brer Fox up and say to Brer Rabbit that he pleased to be moving along towards home, and with that they both say good-bye.

Brer Fox, he put out to where his family was, but Brer Rabbit, he slip 'round, he did, and call on old Miss Goose. Old Miss Goose she was down at the spring, washing, and boiling, and battling clothes; but Brer Rabbit he march up and ask her howdy, and then she took and ask Brer Rabbit howdy.

"I'd shake hands 'long with you, Brer Rabbit," says she, "but they are all full of suds," says she.

"No matter 'bout that, Miss Goose," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "so long as yo' will's good," says he.

After old Miss Goose and Brer Rabbit done pass the time of day with one another, Brer Rabbit, he ask her, he did, how she come on these days, and Miss Goose say, mighty poorly.

"I'm gettin' stiff an' I'm gettin' clumsy," says she, "an' mo' than that I'm gettin' blind," says she. "Just 'fore you happen along, Brer Rabbit, I drop my specs in the tub here, an' if you'd've come 'long 'bout that time," says old Miss Goose, says she, "I lay I'd've took you for that nasty, audacious Brer Fox, an' it'd've been a born blessing if I hadn't've scald you with a pan of boilin' suds," says she. "I'm that glad I found my specs I don't know what to do," says old Miss Goose, says she.

Then Brer Rabbit, he up and say that being as how Sis Goose done fetch up Brer Fox name, he got something for to tell her, and then he let out about Brer Fox going to call on her.

"He comin'," says Brer Rabbit, says he; "he comin' sure, an' when he come it'll be just 'fore day," says he.

With that, old Miss Goose wipe her hands on her apron, and put her specs up on her forehead, and look like she done got trouble in her mind.

(image source)

"Lords-a-mercy!" says she, "supposin' he come, Brer Rabbit! What I going do? And there ain't a man 'bout the house, neither," says she.

Then Brer Rabbit, he shut one eye, and he say, says he, "Sis Goose, the time done come when you pleased to roost high. You look like you got the dropsy," says he, "but don't mind that, 'cause if you don't roost high, you are a goner," says he.

(image source)

Then old Miss Goose ask Brer Rabbit what she going do, and Brer Rabbit he up and tell Miss Goose that she must go home and tie up a bundle of the white folks' clothes, and put 'em on the bed, and then she must fly up on a rafter, and let Brer Fox grab the clothes and run off with 'em.

Old Miss Goose say she much obliged, and she took and took her things and waddle off home, and that night she do like Brer Rabbit say with the bundle of clothes, and then she sent word to Mr. Dog, and Mr. Dog he come down, and say he'd sort of sit up with her.

Just before day, here come Brer Fox creeping up, and he went and push on the door easy, and the door open, and he see something white on the bed which he took for Miss Goose, and he grab it and run.

About that time Mr. Dog sail out from under the house, he did, and if Brer Fox hadn't've dropped the clothes, he'd've got caught.

From dat, word went 'round that Brer Fox been trying to steal Miss Goose clothes, and he come mighty nigh losing his standing at Miss Meadows.

Down to this day, Brer Fox believe that Brer Rabbit was the occasion of Mr. Dog being in the neighborhoods at that time of night, and Brer Rabbit ain't dispute it. The bad feeling 'twixt Brer Fox and Mr. Dog start right there, and it's been a-going on till now they ain't get in smelling distance of one another without there's a row.

C039. Rabbit's Wild Costume

5. Brother Rabbit's Astonishing Prank. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

RABBIT'S WILD COSTUME

I expect that was the reason what make old Brer Rabbit get along so well, because he ain't copy after none of the other critters. When he make his disappearance before 'em, it was always in some brand new place. They ain't know whereabouts for to watch out for him. He was the funniest critter of the whole gang. Some folks might have call him lucky, and yet, when he get in bad luck, it look like he most always come out on top. It look mighty curious now, but it weren't curious in them days, because it was done given up that, strike him when you might and where you would, Brer Rabbit was the supplest critter going.

One time, he sort of took a notion, old Brer Rabbit did, that he'd pay Brer Bear a call, and no sooner do the notion strike him than he pick hisself up and put out for Brer Bear house. Brer Rabbit make he call when Brer Bear and his family was off from home. He sat down by the road, and he see 'em go by —old Brer Bear and old Miss Bear, and their two twin-chilluns, which one of 'em was name Kubs and the other one was name Klibs.

(image source)

Ole Brer Bear and Miss Bear, they went along ahead, and Kubs and Klibs, they come shuffling and scrambling along behind. When Brer Rabbit see this, he say to hisself that he expect he better go see how Brer Bear getting on; and off he put. And it weren't long neither before he was ransacking the premises same like he was sure enough patter-roller. 

Whiles he was going 'round peeping in here and poking in there, he got to fooling among the shelfs, and a bucket of honey what Brer Bear got hid in the cupboard fall down and spill on top of Brer Rabbit, and little more and he'd've been drown. From head to heels that critter was covered with honey; he weren't just only bedabble with it, he was just covered. He had to sit there and let the natural sweetness drip out of he eyeballs before he can see he hand before him, and then, after he look 'round little, he say to hisself, says he, "Heyo, here! What I gonna do now? If I go out in the sunshine, the bumbly-bees an' the flies they'll warm up an' take me, and if I stay here, Brer Bear'll come back and catch me, and I don't know what in the name of gracious I gonna do."

Anyhow, by and by a notion strike Brer Rabbit, and he tip along till he get in the woods, and when he get out there, what do he do but roll in the leafs and trash and try for to rub the honey off of him that a-way. He roll, he did, and the leafs they stick; Brer Rabbit roll, and the leafs they stick, and he keep on rolling and the leafs keep on sticking, till after while Brer Rabbit was the most audacious-looking critter what you ever set eyes on. And if Miss Meadows and the gals could've seed him then and there, they wouldn't've been no more Brer Rabbit call at their house; indeed, and that they wouldn't.

Brer Rabbit, he jump 'round, he did, and try to shake the leafs off of him, but the leafs, they ain't going to be shook off. Brer Rabbit, he shake and he shiver, but the leafs they stick; and the capers that critter cut up out there in the woods by he own-alone self was scandalous—they was that; they was scandalous. Brer Rabbit see this weren't going to do, and he allow to hisself that he better be getting on towards home, and off he put. 

I expect you done hear talk of these yer booggers what gets after bad chilluns. Well, then, just exactly that a-way Brer Rabbit look, and if you'd've seed him you'd've made sure he the grand-daddy of all the booggers. Brer Rabbit pace along, he did, and every motion he make, the leafs they'd go swishy-swushy, splushy-splishy, and, from the fuss he make and the way he look, you'd've took him to be the most servigorous varmint what disappear from the face of the earth since old man Noah let down the draw-bars of the ark and turn the critters loose; and I bound if you'd've struck up long with him, you'd've been mighty good and glad if you'd've got off with that.

The first man what Brer Rabbit come up with was old Sis Cow, and no sooner is she lay eyes on him than she hoist up her tail in the elements, and put out like a pack of dogs was after her. This make Brer Rabbit laugh, 'cause he know that when a old settled woman like Sis Cow run distracted in the broad open day-time, that they must be something' mighty curious about them leafs and that honey, and he keep on a-racking down the road. 

The next man what he meet was a black gal tolling a whole passel of plantation shotes, and when the gal see Brer Rabbit come prancing along, she fling down her basket of corn and just fairly fly, and the shotes, they took through the woods, and such a racket as they kick up with their running, and their snorting, and their squealing ain't never been hear in that settlement neither before nor since.

It keep on this a-way long as Brer Rabbit meet anybody—they just broke and run like the old Boy was after 'em. Course, this make Brer Rabbit feel monstrous biggity, and he allow to hisself that he expect he better drop 'round and skirmish in the neighborhoods of Brer Fox house. And whiles he was standing there running this 'round in he mind, here come old Brer Bear and all of he family.

Brer Rabbit, he get crossways the road, he did, and he sort of sidle towards 'em. Old Brer Bear, he stop and look, but Brer Rabbit, he keep on sidling towards 'em. Old Miss Bear, she stand it long as she can, and then she fling down her parasol and took a tree. Brer Bear look like he going to stand his ground, but Brer Rabbit he jump straight up in the air and give hisself a shake, and, bless your soul, old Brer Bear make a break, and they tells me he tore down a whole panel of fence getting away from there. And as to Kubs and Klibs, they took their hats in their hands, and they went skaddling through the bushes just same as a drove of horses.

(image source)

Brer Rabbit paraded on down the road, and by and by here come Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, fixing up a plan for to nab Brer Rabbit, and they was so intents on their confab that they got right on Brer Rabbit before they seed him; but, gentlemens, when they is catch a glimpse of him, they given him all the room he want. Brer Wolf, he try to show off, he did, 'cause he want to play big before Brer Fox, and he stop and ask Brer Rabbit who is he. Brer Rabbit, he jump up and down in the middle of the road, and holler out, "I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp. I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp, and you are the man I'm after!" Den Brer Rabbit jump up and down and make like he going after Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, and the way them critters lit out from there was a caution.

(image source)

Long time after that, Brer Rabbit come up with Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, and he get behind a stump, Brer Rabbit did, and holler out, "I'm the Will-o'-the-wisp, and you are  the mens I'm after!"

Brer Fox and Brer Wolf, they broke, but before they got out of sight and out of hearing, Brer Rabbit show hisself, he did, and laugh fit to kill hisself. Aftewards, Miss Meadows she hear about it, and the next time Brer Fox call, the gals they up and giggle, and ask him if he ain't feared the Will-o'-the-wisp might drop in.

C044. Brer Rabbit's Riddle

10. Brother Rabbit's Riddle. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

BRER RABBIT'S RIDDLE

The time come when old Brer Rabbit begun to put this and that together, and the notion strike him that he better be home looking after the interests of he family, instead of traipsing and trolloping 'round to all the frolics in the settlement. He took and study this in he mind till by and by he sat out determined for to earn he own livelihoods, and then he up and lay off a piece of ground and plant him a tater-patch.

Brer Fox, he see all this here going on, he did, and he allow to hisself that he expect Brer Rabbit rashfulness done been subdued 'cause he scared, and then Brer Fox make up his mind that he going to pay Brer Rabbit back for all he deceitfulness. He start in, Brer Fox did, and from that time forward he aggravate Brer Rabbit about he tater-patch. One night he leave the draw-bars down, another night he fling off the top rails, and next night he tear down a whole panel of fence, and he keep on this a-way till apparently Brer Rabbit don't know what to do.

All this time Brer Fox keep on fooling with the tater-patch, and when he see which Brer Rabbit ain't making no motion, Brer Fox allow that he done scared sure enough, and that the time done come for to gobble him up without leave or license. So he call on Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox did, and he ask him will he take a walk. Brer Rabbit, he ask whereabouts. Brer Fox say, right out yonder. Brer Rabbit, he ask what is there right out yonder? Brer Fox say he know where there some mighty fine peaches, and he want Brer Rabbit for to go along and climb the tree and fling 'em down. Brer Rabbit say he don't care if he do, more specially for to oblige Brer Fox.

They set out, they did, and after while, sure enough, they come to the peach-orchard, and Brer Rabbit, what do he do but pick out a good tree, and up he climb. Brer Fox, he sat hisself at the root of the tree, 'cause he allow that when Brer Rabbit come down he had to come down backwards, and then that'd be the time for to nab him. But, bless your soul, Brer Rabbit done see what Brer Fox after before he climb up. When he pull the peaches, Brer Fox say, says he, "Fling 'em down here, Brer Rabbit—fling 'em right down here so I can catch 'em," says he.

Brer Rabbit, he sort of wunk the furthest eye from Brer Fox, and he holler back, he did, "If I fling 'em down there where you is, Brer Fox, and you misses 'em, they'll get squshed," says he, "so I'll just sort of pitch 'em out yonder in the grass where they won't get bust," says he.

Then he took and flung the peaches out in the grass, and whiles Brer Fox went after 'em, Brer Rabbit, he skinned down out of the tree, and hustle hisself till he get elbow-room. When he get off little ways, he up and holler back to Brer Fox that he got a riddle he want him to read. Brer Fox, he ask what is it. With that, Brer Rabbit, he give it out to Brer Fox like a man saying a speech:

Big bird rob and little bird sing,

The big bee zoom and little bee sting,

The little man lead and big horse follow—

Can you tell what's good for a head in a hollow?

Old Brer Fox scratch he head and study, and study and scratch he head, but the more he study the worse he get mix up with the riddle, and after while he took and tell Brer Rabbit that he don't know how in the name of goodness to unriddle that riddle.

"Come and go along with me," says old Brer Rabbit, says he, "an' I bound you I show you how to read that same riddle. It's one of them there kind of riddle," says old man Rabbit, says he, "which before you read her you got to eat a bite of honey, and I done got my eye set on the place where we can get the honey at," says he.

Brer Fox, he ask whereabouts is it, and Brer Rabbit, he say up there in old Brer Bear cotton-patch, where he got a whole passel of bee-gums. Brer Fox, he allow, he did, that he ain't got no sweet-tooth much, yet he want to get at the innards of that there riddle, and he don't care if he do go along.

They put out, there did, and it weren't long before there come to old Brer Bear bee-gums, and old Brer Rabbit, he up and give 'em a rap with he walking-cane, just like folks thumps water-melons for to see if they are ripe. He tap and he rap, and by and by he come to one of 'em which she sound like she plumb full, and then he go 'round behind it, old Brer Rabbit did, and he up and say, says he, "I'll just sort of tilt her up, Brer Fox," says he, "an' you can put yo' head under there and get some of the drippin's," says he.

Brer Rabbit, he tilt her up, en, sure enough, Brer Fox, he jam he head underneath the gum. He ain't no sooner stuck he head underneath that there bee-gum, than Brer Rabbit turned her a-loose, and down she come—ker-swosh!—right on Brer Fox neck, and there he was. 

(image source)

Brer Fox, he kick; he squeal; he jump; he squall; he dance; he prance; he beg; he pray; yet there he was, and when Brer Rabbit get way off, and turn 'round for to look back, he see Brer Fox just a-wiggling and a-squ'ming, and right then and there Brer Rabbit give one old-time whoop, and just put out for home.

When he get there, the first man he see was Brer Fox granddaddy, which folks all call him Gran'sire Gray Fox. When Brer Rabbit see him, he say, says he, "How you come on, Gran'sire Gray Fox?"

"I still keeps poorly, I'm obliged to you, Brer Rabbit," says Gran'sire Gray Fox, says he. "Is you seed any sign of my grandson this mornin'?" says he.

With that Brer Rabbit laugh and say which him and Brer Fox been a-rambling 'round with one another having more fun than what a man can shake a stick at.

"We been a-riggin' up riddles an' a-readin' on 'em," says Brer Rabbit, says he. "Brer Fox is sittin' off somewheres in the bushes right now, aimin' for to read one what I give him. I'll just drop you one," says old Brer Rabbit, says he, "which, if you can read it, it'll take you right spang to where yo' grandson is, an' you can't get there none too soon," says Brer Rabbit, says he.

Then old Gran'sire Gray Fox, he up and ask what is it, and Brer Rabbit, he sing out, he did, 

Big bird rob and little bird sing,

The big bee zoom and little bee sting,

The little man lead and big horse follow—

Can you tell what's good for a head in a hollow?

Gran'sire Gray Fox, he took a pinch of snuff and cough easy to hisself, and study and study, but he ain't make it out, and Brer Rabbit, he laugh and sing, 

Bee-gum mighty big for to make Fox collar,

Can you tell what's good for a head in a hollow?'

After so long a time, Gran'sire Gray Fox sort of catch a glimpse of what Brer Rabbit trying to give him, and he tip Brer Rabbit good-day, and shuffle on for to hunt up he grandson.

(image source)

Brer Bear hear the racket what Brer Fox kicking up, and he go down there for to see what the matter is. Soon as he see how the land lay, course he took a notion that Brer Fox been robbing the bee-gums, and he got him a handful of hickories, Brer Bear did, and he let in on Brer Fox and he warm he jacket scandolous, and then he took and turn him loose; but it weren't long before all the neighbors get word that Brer Fox been robbing Brer Bear bee-gums.

C045. Rooster and the Cornbread

11. How Mr. Rooster Lost His Dinner. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

ROOSTER and the CORNBREAD

(image source)

One time, 'way back yonder, there was two plantations right alongside one another, and on both of these plantations was a whole passel of fowls. They was mighty sociable in them days, and it turn out that the fowls on one plantation give a party, which they sent out their invites to the fowls on the other plantation.

When the day come, Mr. Rooster, he blow his horn, he did, and asemble 'em all together, and after they assemble they got in line. Mr. Rooster, he took the head, and after him come old lady Hen and Miss Pullet, and then there was Mr. Peafowl, and Mr. Turkey Gobbler, and Miss Guinea Hen, and Miss Puddle Duck, and all the balance of 'em. They start off sort of raggedy, but it weren't long before they all catch the step, and then they march down by the spring, up through the horse-lot and across by the gin-house, and it weren't long before they get to where the frolic was.

(image source)

They dance, and they play, and they sing. More specially did they play and sing that there song which it run on like dis:

Come under, come under,

My honey, my love, my own true love;

My heart been a-weepin'

Way down in Galilee.

They was going on this a-way, having their amusements, when, by and by, old Mr. Peafowl, he got on the comb of the barn and blow the dinner-horn. They all wash their face and hands in the back porch, and then they went in to dinner. When they get in there, they don't see nothing on the table but a great big pile of corn-bread. The pones was pile up on pones, and on the top was a great big ash-cake. Mr. Rooster, he look at this and he turn up he nose, and by and by, after awhile, out he strut. Old Miss Guinea Hen, she watching Mr. Rooster motions, and when she see this, she take and squall out, she did, "Pot-rack! Pot-rack! Mr. Rooster gone back! Pot-rack! Pot-rack! Mr. Rooster gone back!"

With that they all make a great to-do. Miss Hen and Miss Pullet, they cackle and squall, Mr. Gobbler, he gobble, and Miss Puddle Duck, she shake her tail and say, quickity-quack-quack. But Mr. Rooster, he ruffle up he cape, and march on out.

This sort of put a damper on the others, but before Mr. Rooster get out of sight and hearing they went to work on the pile what was apparently corn-bread, en, lo and beholds, underneath them pone of bread was a whole passel of meat and greens, and baked taters, and boiled turnips. 

Mr. Rooster, he hear the ladies making great admiration, and he stop and look through the crack, and there he see all the doings and fixings. 

(image source)

He feel mighty bad, Mr. Rooster did, when he see all this, and the other fowls they holler and ask him for to come back. And he craw, which it mighty empty, likewise, it up and ask him, but he mighty biggity and stuck up, and he strut off, crowing as he go; but he experience of that time done last him and all of his family down to this day. 

And you needn't to take my word for it, neither, 'cause if you'll just keep your eye open and watch, you'll catch a glimpse of old Mr. Rooster folks scratching where they expects to find their rations, and more than that, they'll scratch with their rations in plain sight. Since that time, there ain't none of the Mr. Roosters been fooled by that what they see on top. They ain't rest till they see what under there. They'll scratch spite of all creation.

(image source)

C049. Fox and Turtle's Quill-Pipe

15. Brother Fox Covets the Quills. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. You can click here for the standardized spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

FOX and TURTLE'S QUILL-PIPE

That the song what Brer Terrapin play on the quills:
I foolee, I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
Po' Buzzard I foolee, I foolee, I foolee.

Nobody don't know where the quills come from, 'cause Brer Terrapin, he ain't making no brags how he get um; yet everybody wants 'em on account of their playing such a lonesome tune, and old Brer Fox, he want 'em worst of all. He beg and he beg Brer Terrapin for to sell him them quills; but Brer Terrapin, he hold on to 'em tight, and say uh-uh!

Then he ask Brer Terrapin for to loan 'em to him  just a week, so he can play for he chilluns, but Brer Terrapin, he shake he head and put he foot down, and keep on playing:
I foolee, I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
Po' Buzzard I foolee, I foolee, I foolee.

But Brer Fox, he ain't got no peace of mind on account of them quills, and one day he meet Brer Terrapin and he ask him how he seem to segashuate and he family and all he chilluns; and then Brer Fox ask Brer Terrapin if he can't just look at the quills, 'cause he got some goose-feathers at he house, and if he can just get a glimpse of Brer Terrapin quills, he expect he can make some mighty like 'em.

Brer Terrapin, he study about this, but he hate to deny small favors like that, and by and by he hold out them quills where Brer Fox can see 'em. With that, Brer Fox, he took and jerk the quills out of Brer Terrapin hand, he did, and dash off just as hard as he can go. Brer Terrapin, he holler and holler at him just loud as he can holler, but he know he can't catch him, and he just sat there, Brer Terrapin did, and look like he done lost all the kin-folks what he got in the round world.

After this, Brer Fox he strut 'round and play mighty biggity, and every time he meet Brer Terrapin in the road he walk all 'round him and play on the quills like this:
I foolee, I foolee po' Buzzard;
I foolee old Terrapin, too.

(image source)

Brer Terrapin, he feel mighty bad, but he ain't saying nothing. Last, one day whiles old Brer Terrapin was setting on a log sunning hisself, here come Brer Fox playing that same old tune on the quills, but Brer Terrapin, he stay still. Brer Fox, he come up little nigher and play, but Brer Terrapin, he keep he eyes shut and he stay still. Brer Fox, he come nigher and get on the log; Brer Terrapin ain't saying nothing. Brer Fox still get up nigher and play on the quills; still Brer Terrapin ain't saying nothing.

"Brer Terrapin mighty sleepy this mornin'," says Brer Fox, says he.

Still Brer Terrapin keep he eyes shut and stay still. Brer Fox keep on getting nigher and nigher, till by and by Brer Terrapin open he eyes and he mouth both, and he make a grab at Brer Fox and miss him.

But hold on! Next morning, Brer Terrapin take hisself off and wallow in a mud-hole, and smear hisself with mud till he look just exactly like a clod of dirt. Then he crawl off and lay down underneath a log where he know Brer Fox come every morning for to freshen hisself.

Brer Terrapin lay there, he did, and directly here come Brer Fox. Time he get there, Brer Fox begun to leap backwards forwards 'cross the log, and Brer Terrapin he crept nigher and nigher, till by and by he make a grab at Brer Fox and catch him by the foot.

(image source)

They tells me, that when Brer Terrapin catch hold, it got to thunder before he let go. All I know, Brer Terrapin get Brer Fox by the foot, and he held him dar. Brer Fox he jump and he rear, but Brer Terrapin done got him. Brer Fox, he holler out, "Brer Terrapin, please lemme go!"

(image source)

Brer Terrapin talk way down in his throat, "Gimme my quills!"

"Lemme go and fetch 'em."

"Gimme my quills!"

"Do pray lemme go get 'em."

"Gimme my quills!"

And, bless gracious! This all Brer Fox can get out of Brer Terrapin. Last, Brer Fox foot hurt him so bad that he pleased to do something, and he sing out for his old woman for to fetch the quills, but he old woman, she busy about the house, and she don't hear him. Then he call he son, which he name Tobe. He holler and bawl, and Tobe make answer.

"Tobe! O Tobe! You Tobe!"

"What you want, daddy?"

"Fetch Brer Terrapin quills."

"What you say, daddy? Fetch the big tray to get the honey in?"

"No, you crazy-head! Fetch Brer Terrapin quills!"

"What you say, daddy? Fetch the dipper to catch the minnows in?"

"No, you fool! Fetch Brer Terrapin quills!"

"What you say, daddy? Water done been spill?"

(image source)

It went on this a-way till after while old Miss Fox hear the racket, and then she listen, and she know that her old man hollering for the quills, and she fetch 'em out and give 'em to Brer Terrapin, and Brer Terrapin, he let go he hold. He let go he hold, but long time after that, when Brer Fox go to pay he calls, he have to go hoppity-fetchity, hoppity-fetchity.

(image source)

C054. Brer Rabbit Hears a Noise

20. Brother Rabbit Takes Some Exercise. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg.

---

BRER RABBIT HEARS a NOISE

It come about that soon one morning towards the fall of the year, Brer Rabbit was stirring 'round in the woods after some bergamot for to make him some hair-grease. The wind blow so cold that it make him feel right frisky, and every time he hear the bushes rattle he make like he scared. He was going on this a-way, hoppity-skippity, when by and by he hear Mr. Man cutting on a tree way off in the woods. He fetch up, Brer Rabbit did, and listen first with one year and then with the other.

Man, he cut and cut, and Brer Rabbit, he listen and listen. By and by, whiles all this was going on, down come the tree—kubber-lang-bang-blam! Brer Rabbit, he took and jump, and let alone that, he make a break, he did, and he leaped out from there like the dogs was after him.

Well, then, Brer Rabbit run till he get sort of het up like, and just about the time he making ready for to squat and catch he wind, who should he meet but Brer Coon going home after setting up with old Brer Bull-Frog. Brer Coon see him running, and he hail him.

"What yo' hurry, Brer Rabbit?"

"Ain't got time to tarry."

"Folks sick?"

"No, my Lord! Ain't got time to tarry!"

"Trying yo' suppleness?"

"No, my Lord! Ain't got time to tarry!"

"Do pray, Brer Rabbit, tell me the news!"

"Mighty big fuss back there in the woods. Ain't got time to tarry!"

This make Brer Coon feel mighty skittish, 'cause he far ways from home, and he just leaped out, he did, and went a-boiling through the woods. Brer Coon ain't gone far till he meet Brer Fox.

"Hey, Brer Coon, where you going?"

"Ain't got time to tarry!"

"Going to the doctor?"

"No, my Lord! Ain't got time to tarry."

"Do pray, Brer Coon, tell me the news."

"Mighty queer racket back there in the woods! Ain't got time to tarry!"

With that, Brer Fox leaped out, he did, and fairly split the wind. He ain't gone far till he meet Brer Wolf.

"Hey, Brer Fox! Stop and rest yo'self!"

"Ain't got time to tarry!"

"Who been want the doctor?"

"No one, my Lord! Ain't got time to tarry!"

"Do pray, Brer Fox, good or bad, tell me the news."

"Mighty curious fuss back there in the woods! Ain't got time to tarry!"

With that, Brer Wolf shuck hisself loose from the face of the earth, and he ain't get far till he meet Brer Bear. Brer Bear he ask, and Brer Wolf make answer, and by and by Brer Bear he fetch a snort and runned off; and, bless gracious! It weren't long before the last one of the critters was a-skaddling through the woods like the Old Boy was after 'em—and all 'cause Brer Rabbit hear Mr. Man cut tree down.

Then runned and they runned, till they come to Brer Terrapin house, and they sort of slack up 'cause they done mighty nigh lost their wind. Brer Terrapin, he up and ask 'em wherebouts they going, and they allow they was a monstrous terrifying racket back there in the woods. Brer Terrapin, he ask what she sound like. One say he don't know, another say he don't know, then they all say they don't know. Then Brer Terrapin, he up and ask who hear this monstrous racket. One say he don't know, another say he don't know, then they all say they don't know. This make old Brer Terrapin laugh 'way down in he insides, and he up and say, sezee, "You all can run along if you feel skittish," says he. "After I cook my breakfast and wash up the dishes, if I gets wind of any suspicious racket may be I might take down my parasol and follow long after you," says he.

When the critters come to make inquirements amongst one of another about who start the news, it went right spang back to Brer Rabbit, but, lo and beholds! Brer Rabbit ain't dar, and it turn out that Brer Coon is the man what seed him last. Then they got to laying the blame of it on one another, and little more and they'd a fit there scandalous, but old Brer Terrapin, he up and allow that if they want to get the straight of it, they better go see Brer Rabbit.

(image source)

All the critters was agreeable, and they put out to Brer Rabbit house. When they get there, Brer Rabbit was a-sitting cross-legged in the front porch winking he eye at the sun. 

(image source)

Brer Bear, he speak up, "What make you fool me, Brer Rabbit?"

"Fool who, Brer Bear?"

"Me, Brer Rabbit, that's who."

"This here the first time I seed you this day, Brer Bear, an' you are more than welcome to that."

They all ask him and get the same answer, and then Brer Coon put in, "What make you fool me, Brer Rabbit?"

"How I fool you, Brer Coon?"

(image source)

"You make like there was a big racket, Brer Rabbit."

"There surely was a big racket, Brer Coon."

"What king racket, Brer Rabbit?"

"Ah-yi! You ought to ask me that first, Brer Coon."

"I askes you now, Brer Rabbit."

"Mr. Man cut tree down, Brer Coon."

Course this make Brer Coon feel like a natural-born slink, and it weren't long before all the critters make their bow to Brer Rabbit and mosey off home.

Brer Rabbit was a mighty man in them days.

C055. Why Brer Bear Has No Tail

21. Why Brother Bear Has No Tail. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and the eye-dialect, along with editing for paragraphing and punctuation.

---

WHY BRER BEAR HAS NO TAIL

(image source)

It ain't only chilluns what got the conceit of doing everything they see other folks do. It's grown folks what ought to know better. That's just the way Brer Bear get his tail broke off smick-smack-smooth, and down to this day he the funniest-looking critter what wobble on top of dry ground.

It seem like that in them days Brer Rabbit and Brer Terrapin done gone in cahoots for to outdo the other critters. One time Brer Rabbit took and make a call on Brer Terrapin, but when he get to Brer Terrapin house, he hear talk from Miss Terrapin that her old man done gone for to spend the day with Mr. Mud-Turtle, which they was blood kin.

Brer Rabbit he put out after Brer Terrapin, and when he got to Mr. Mud-Turtle house, they all sat up, they did, and told tales, and then when twelve o'clock come they had crawfish for dinner, and they enjoy theyself right along.

After dinner they went down to Mr. Mud-Turtle mill-pond, and when they get there Mr. Mud-Turtle and Brer Terrapin they amuse theyself, they did, with sliding from the top of a big slanting rock down into the water.

Well, then, this here rock was mighty slick and mighty slanting. Mr. Mud-Turtle, he'd crawl to the top, and turn loose, and go a-sailing down into the water — kersplash! Old Brer Terrapin, he'd follow after, and slide down into the water — kersplash! Old Brer Rabbit, he sat off, he did, and praise 'em up.

Whiles they was a-going on this a-way, a-having their fun, and enjoying theyself, here come old Brer Bear. He hear 'em laughing and hollering, and he hail 'em. "Heyo, folks! What all this? If my eye ain't deceive me, this here's Brer Rabbit, and Brer Terrapin, and old Uncle Tommy Mud-Turtle," says Brer Bear, says he.

"The same," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "and here we is enjoying the day that passes just like there weren't no hard times."

"Well, well, well!" says old Brer Bear, says he; "a-slipping and a-sliding and making free! And what the matter with Brer Rabbit that he ain't joining in?" says he.

Old Brer Rabbit he wink at Brer Terrapin, and Brer Terrapin he hunch Mr. Mud-Turtle, and then Brer Rabbit he up and allow, he did, "My goodness, Brer Bear! You can't expect a man for to slip and slide the whole blessed day, can you? I done had my fun, and now I'm a-sitting out here letting my clothes dry. It's turn and turn about with me and these gents when there's any fun going on," says he.

"Maybe Brer Bear might join in with us," says Brer Terrapin, says he.

Brer Rabbit he just holler and laugh. "Shoo!" says he; "Brer Bear foot too big and he tail too long for to slide down that rock," says he.

This kind of put Brer Bear on he mettle, and he up and respond, he did, "Maybe they is, and maybe they ain't, yet I ain't a-feared to try."

With that the others took and made way for him, and old Brer Bear he get up on the rock, he did, and squat down on he hunkers, and curl he tail under him, and start down.

First he go sort of slow, and he grin like he feel good; then he go sort of pert, and he grin like he feel bad; then he go more perter, and he grin like he scared; then he strike the slick part, and he swallow the grin and fetch a howl that might to been heard a mile, and he hit the water like a chimney a-falling.

(image source)

You can give me denial, but just as sure as you are sitting there, when Brer Bear slicked up and flew down that rock, he break off he tail right smick-smack-smooth, and more than that, when he make his disappearance up the big road, Brer Rabbit holler out, "Brer Bear! O Brer Bear! I hear tell that flaxseed poultices is mighty good for sore places!"

Yet Brer Bear ain't look back.

(image source)

C061. Brer Wolf Says Grace

27. Brother Wolf Says Grace. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

BRER WOLF SAYS GRACE

It done come 'cross my remembrance that there was one time when Brer Wolf caught Brer Rabbit. In them days, the critters was constant going a-courting. If it weren't Miss Meadows and the gals they was flying 'round, it was Miss Motts. They was constant a-courting. And it weren't none of this here "Howdy-do-ma'am-I-'spect-I-better-be-going" neither. It was go after breakfast and stay till after supper.

Brer Rabbit, he got took with a liking for Miss Motts, and soon one morning, he took and slick hisself up, he did, and put out to call on her. When Brer Rabbit get to where Miss Motts live, she done gone off somewheres.

Some folks'd've sat down and wait till Miss Motts come back, and then again some folks'd've took their foot in their hand and went back; but old Brer Rabbit, he ain't the man for to be outdone, and he just took and go in the kitchen and light he cigar, and then he put out for to pay a call on Miss Meadows and the gals.

When he get there, lo and beholds, he find Miss Motts there, and he tipped in, old Brer Rabbit did, and he galanted 'round amongst 'em, same like one of these here town chaps, what you see come out to Harmony Grove meeting-house. They talk and they laugh; they laugh and they giggle. By and by, 'long towards night, Brer Rabbit allow he better be going. The women folks there all ask him for to stay till after supper, 'cause he such lively company, but Brer Rabbit feared some of the other critters be hiding out for him; so he took and pay his respects, he did, and start for home.

He ain't get far till he come up with a great big basket sitting down by the side of the big road. He look up the road; he ain't see nobody. He look down the road; he ain't see nobody. He look before, he look behind, he look all 'round; he ain't see nobody. He listen, and listen; he ain't hear nothing. He wait, and he wait; nobody ain't come.

(image source)

Then, by and by Brer Rabbit go and peep in the basket, and it seem like it half full of green truck. He reach he hand in, he did, and get some and put it in he mouth. Then he shut he eye and do like he studying about something. After while, he allow to hisself, "It look like sparrow-grass, it feel like sparrow-grass, it taste like sparrow-grass, an' I be bless if it ain't sparrow-grass.'

With that Brer Rabbit jump up, he did, and crack he heel together, and he fetch one leap and land in the basket, right spang in amongst the sparrow-grass. There where he miss he footing, 'cause when he jump in amongst the sparrow-grass, right then and there he jump in amongst old Brer Wolf, which he were curl up at the bottom.

Time Brer Wolf grab him, Brer Rabbit knowed he was a gone case; yet he sing out, he did, "I just tryin' to scare you, Brer Wolf; I just tryin' to scare you. I knowed you was in there, Brer Wolf, I knowed you by the smell!" says Brer Rabbit, says he.

Ole Brer Wolf grin, he did, and lick he chops, and up and say, "Mighty glad you knowed me, Brer Rabbit, 'cause I knowed you just time you dropped in on me. I took an' tell Brer Fox yesterday that I was gonna take a nap 'longside of the road, an' I bound you'd come 'long an' wake me up, an' sure enough, here you come an' here you is," says Brer Wolf, says he.

When Brer Rabbit hear this, he begun to get mighty scared, and he whirl in and beg Brer Wolf for to please turn him loose; but this make Brer Wolf grin worser, and he tooth look so long and shine so white, and he gum look so red, that Brer Rabbit hush up and stay still. He so scared that he breath come quick, and he heart go like flutter-mill. He tune up like he going cry, "Where you gonna carry me, Brer Wolf?"

(image source)

"Down by the branch, Brer Rabbit."

"What you goin' down there for, Brer Wolf?"

"So I can get some water to clean you with after I done skinned you, Brer Rabbit."

"Please, sir, lemme go, Brer Wolf."

"You talk so young you make me laugh, Brer Rabbit."

"That sparrow-grass done make me sick, Brer Wolf."

"You'll be sicker than that 'fore I get done with you, Brer Rabbit."

"Where I come from nobody dare to eat sick folks, Brer Wolf."

"Where I come from they ain't dare to eat no other kind, Brer Rabbit."

They went on this a-way, plumb till there get to the branch. Brer Rabbit, he beg and cry, and cry and beg, and Brer Wolf, he refuse and grin, and grin and refuse. When they come to the branch, Brer Wolf lay Brer Rabbit down on the ground and held him there, and then he study how he going make way with him. He study and he study, and whiles he studying Brer Rabbit, he took and study some on he own hook. Then when it seem like Brer Wolf done fix all the arrangerments, Brer Rabbit, he make like he crying worser and worser; he just fairly blubber.

"Ber—ber—Brer Wooly—ooly—oolf! Is you going—is you going to sacrifice me right now—ow—ow?"

"That I is, Brer Rabbit; that I is."

"Well, if I puh-pleased to be killed, Brer Wooly—ooly—oolf, I wants to be killed right, an' if I puh-pleased to be et, I wants to be et ri—ight, too, now!"

"How that, Brer Rabbit?"

"I want you to show yo' politeness, Brer Wooly—ooly—oolf!"

"How I gonna do that, Brer Rabbit?"

"I want you to say grace, Brer Wolf, an' say it quick, 'cause I getting mighty weak."

"How I gonna say grace, Brer Rabbit?"

"Fold yo' hands under yo' chin, Brer Wolf, an' shut yo' eyes, an' say: Bless us an' bind us, an' put us in crack where the Old Boy can't find us. Say it quick, Brer Wolf, 'cause I failing mighty fast."

(image source)

Brer Wolf, he put up he hands, he did, and shut he eyes, and allow, "Bless us an' bind us;" but he ain't get no further, 'cause just time he take up he hands, Brer Rabbit fetch a wiggle, he did, and lit on he foots, and he just naturally left a blue streak behind him.

(image source)

C064. The Lucky Rabbit's Foot

30. Brother Rabbit and His Famous Foot. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

THE LUCKY RABBIT'S FOOT

(image source)

There's a tale about the rabbit foot. In the days whence Brer Rabbit was sort of keeping the neighborhoods stirred up, the other critters was studying and studying the whole blessed time how they going to nab him. They ain't had no holiday yet, 'cause when the holiday come, they'd go to work, they would, and juggle with one another for to see how they going to catch up with Brer Rabbit. By and by, when all their plans, and their traps, and their jugglements ain't do no good, they all agree, they did, that Brer Rabbit got some conjurement what he trick 'em with. Brer Bear, he up and allow, he did, that he bound Brer Rabbit is a natural born witch; Brer Wolf say, says he, that he expect Brer Rabbit just in cahoots with a witch; and Brer Fox, he vow that Brer Rabbit got more luck than smartness. Den Judge Bear, he drop he head one side, he did, and he ask how come Brer Rabbit got all the luck on he own side. the more they ask, the more they get pestered, and the more they get pestered, the worse they worry. Day in and day out they work with this puzzlement; let alone that, they sat up nights; and by and by they agree amongst theyself that they better make up with Brer Rabbit, and see if they can't fine out how come he so lucky.

Whiles all this going on, old Brer Rabbit was a-galloping 'round from Funtown to Frolicville, a-kicking up the devilment and terrifying the neighborhoods. It keep on this a-way, till one time, during the odd-come-shorts, old Judge Bear sent word that one of his chilluns done been took with a sickness, and he ask won't old Miss Rabbit drop 'round and sit up with him. Old Miss Rabbit, she say, course she go, and after she fill her satchel full of herbs and truck, off she put.

I done forget, which one of them chilluns was ailing. It might've been Kubs, and it might've been Klibs; but no matter for that. When old Miss Rabbit get there, old Miss Bear was a-sitting up in the chimney-corner just a-dozing and a-nursing the young'un; and all the women of the neighborhoods was there, a-whispering and a-talking, just for all the world like women does these days. It was, "Come right in, Sis Rabbit! I mighty proud to see you. I mighty glad you fetch yo' knittin', 'cause I'm powerful po' company when my chillun sick. Just fling yo' bonnet on the bed there. I'm that flustrated till I don't know which end's up, scarcely. Sis Wolf, hand Sis Rabbit that rockin'-chair there, 'cause it ain't no one step from her house to mine."

That the way old Miss Bear run on, and they sat there and they chatter and they clatter. Old Brer Wolf, he was sitting out on the back piazza smoking and nodding. He'd take and draw a long whiff, he would, and then he'd drop off to nodding and let the smoke oozle out through he nose. By and by old Sis Rabbit drop her knitting in her lap, and sing out, says she, "Lord, Sis Bear! I smells tobacco smoke," says she.

Old Sis Bear, she jolt up the sick baby, and swap it from one knee to the other, and allow, "My old man been smoking 'round here the whole blessed day, but soon as this here chile took sick, I just took and told him, says I, for to take hisself off in the woods where he belong at, says I. Yessum! I did that! I pities any woman what her old man is foreverlasting stuck 'round the house when there's any sickness going on," says she.

Ole Brer Wolf sat out there on the back piazza, and he shut one eye, he did, and open 'em again, and let the smoke oozle out of he nose. Sis Bear, she jolt the sick baby and swap it from one knee to the other. They sat there and talk till by and by their confab sort of slack up. First news they know Sis Rabbit drop her knitting and fling up her hands and squall out, "The gracious and the goodness! If I ain't done come traipsing off and left my old man money-purse, and he got something in there what he won't take a pretty for, neither! I'm that forgetful," says she, "till it keep me miserable mighty nigh the whole time," says she.

Brer Wolf, he lift up he ear and open he eye, and let the smoke oozle out of he nose. Sis Bear, she jolt the sick baby worse and worse, and by and by, she up and say, says she, "I mighty glad it ain't me, that I is," says she, "because if I was to left my old man money-purse laying 'round that a-way, he'd just naturally rip up the planks in the floor, and ear all the bark off of the trees," says she.

Ole Miss Rabbit, she sat there, she did, and she rock and study, and study and rock, and she don't know what to do. Old Sis Bear, she jolt and jolt the baby. Old Brer Wolf, he let the tobacco smoke oozle thorugh he nose, he did, and then he open both eyes and lay he pipe down. With that, he crept down the back steps and lit out for Brer Rabbit house. Brer Wolf got gait same like race-horse, and it ain't take him long for to get where he going. When he get to Brer Rabbit house, he pull the latch-string and open the door, and when he do  this, one of the little Rabs wake up, and he holler out, "That you, mammy?"

(image source)

Then Brer Wolf wish he can sing "Bye-O-Baby," but before he can make answer, the little Rab holler out again, "That you, mammy?"

Ole Brer Wolf know he got to do something, so he took and whisper, he did, "Sh-sh-sh! Go to sleep, honey. The boogers'll get you!" and with that the little Rab begun to whimper, and he whimper hisself off to sleep.

Then when it seem like the little Rabs, which they was mighty nigh forty-eleven of 'em, is all gone to sleep, Brer Wolf, he crept 'round, he did, and feel on the mantel-shelf, and feel, and feel, till he come to old Brer Rabbit money-purse. If he weren't so light with he hand, he'd a knock off the paregoric vial what old Miss Rabbit put up there. But nevermind! Brer Wolf, he feel, and feel, till he come to the money-purse, and he grab  that, he did, and he just flewed away from there.

When he get out of sight and hearing, Brer Wolf look at the money-purse, and see what in it. It was one of these here kind of money-purse with tassel on the end and shiny rings in the middle. Brer Wolf look in there for to see what he can see. In one end there was a piece of calamus-root and some collard-seeds, and in the other end there was a great big rabbit foot. This make Brer Wolf feel mighty good, and he gallop off home with the assurance of a man what done found a gold mine.

It's mighty curious about Brer Rabbit, honey. He ain't miss that money-purse for mighty long time, yet when he do miss it, he miss it mighty bad. He miss it so bad that he get right-down sick, 'cause he know he pleased to find that there foot let go what may, let come what will. He study and he study, yet it ain't do no good, and he go all 'round allowing to hisself, "I know where I put that foot, yet I don't know where I left 'em; I know where I put that foot, yet I don't know where I left 'em."

He mope and he mope around. Look like Brer Wolf got all the luck and Brer Rabbit ain't got none. Brer Wolf get fat, Brer Rabbit get lean; Brer Wolf run fast, Brer Rabbit lope heavy like old Sis Cow; Brer Wolf feel funny, Brer Rabbit feel poorly. It keep on this a-way, till by and by Brer Rabbit know something or other pleased to be done. Last he make up he mind for to take a journey, and he fix up he tricks, he do, and he go and see old Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money.

In them days, there was a Witch-Rabbit, and that was her entitlements—old Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money. She live way off in a deep, dark swamp, and if you go there you had to ride some, slide some; jump some, hump some; hop some, flop some; walk some, balk some; creep some, sleep some; fly some, cry some; follow some, holler some; wade some, spade some; and if you ain't monstrous careful you ain't get there then. Yet Brer Rabbit he get there after so long a time, and he mighty nigh wore out.

He sat down, he did, for to rest hisself, and by and by he see black smoke coming out of the hole in the ground where the old Witch-Rabbit stay. Smoke get blacker and blacker, and after while Brer Rabbit know the time done come for him to open up and tell what he want.

(image source)

"Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, I needs yo' help."

"Son Riley Rabbit, why so? Son Riley Rabbit, why so?"

"Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, I lost the foot you give me."

"O Riley Rabbit, why so? Son Riley Rabbit, why so?"

"Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, my luck done gone. I put that foot down upon the ground. I left 'em there I know not where."

"The Wolf done took and stole yo' luck, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley. Go find the track, go get it back, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley."

With that, old Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money sucked all the black smoke back in the hole in the ground, and Brer Rabbit just put out for home. 

When he get there, what do he do? Do he go off in a corner by hisself, and wipe he weeping eye? That he don't—that he don't. He just took and wait he chance. He wait and he wait; he wait all day, he wait all night; he wait mighty nigh a month. He hang 'round Brer Wolf house; he watch and he wait.

By and by, one day, Brer Rabbit get the news that Brer Wolf just come back from a big frolic. Brer Rabbit know he time coming, and he keep both eye open and both ears hoist up. Next morning after Brer Wolf get back from the big frolic, Brer Rabbit see him come out of the house and go down the spring after bucket water. Brer Rabbit, he slip up, he did, and he look in. 

Old Miss Wolf, she was sailing 'round frying meat and getting breakfast, and there hanging 'cross a chair was Brer Wolf waistcoat where he keep he money-purse. Brer Rabbit rush up to door and pant like he mighty nigh fag out. He rush up, he did, and he sing out, "Mornin', Sis Wolf, mornin'! Brer Wolf sent me after the shavin'-brush, which he keep it in that there money-purse what I loaned him."

Sis Wolf, she fling up her hands and let 'em drop, and she laugh and say, says she, "I declare to gracious, Brer Rabbit! You gimme such a turn, that I ain't got room to be polite scarcely."

But most before she gets the words out of her mouth, Brer Rabbit done grab the money-purse and gone! And I tell you this, Brer Rabbit road ain't lay by the spring; I bound you that!

C069. Brer Rabbit and the Witch-Rabbit

35. Brother Rabbit Submits to a Test. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

BRER RABBIT and the WITCH-RABBIT

Brer Rabbit had so many appointments for to keep out the way of the the other critters that he begun to feel monstrous humblified. Let 'em be who they will, you get folks in a close place if you want to see 'em shed their proudness. They beg more samer than a black man when the patter-rollers catch him. Brer Rabbit ain't do no begging, 'cause they ain't caught him; yet they come so nigh it, he begun to feel he weakness.

When Brer Rabbit feel this a-way, do he sit down flat on the ground and let the other critters rush up and grab him? He might do it these days, 'cause times done change; but in them days he just took and sat up with hisself and study about what he gonna do. He study and study, and last he up and tell he old woman, he did, that he going on a journey. With that, old Miss Rabbit, she took and fry him up a rasher of bacon, and bake him a pone of bread. Brer Rabbit tied this up in a bag and took down he walking cane and put out.

He put out, Brer Rabbit did, for to see old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money. He put out, he did, and after so long a time he get there. He take time for to catch he wind, and then he sort of shake hisself up and rustle 'round in the grass. By and by he holler:

Mammy-Bammy Big-Money! 

O Mammy-Bammy Big-Money! 

I journeyed far, I journeyed fast; 

I glad I found the place at last.

Great big black smoke rise up out of the ground, and old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money allow, "Wherefore, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley? Son Riley Rabbit, wherefore?"

With dat, Brer Rabbit up and tell her, he did, about how he feared he losing the use of he mind, 'cause he done come to that pass that he ain't can fool the other critters no more, and they push him so close till it won't be long 'fore they'll get him. The old Witch-Rabbit she sat dar, she did, and suck in black smoke and puff it out again, till you can't see nothing at all but her great big eyeballs and her great big ears. 

After while she allow:

There sits a squirrel in that tree, 

Son Riley; 

go fetch that squirrel straight to me,

Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.

Brer Rabbit sort of study, and then he allow, he did, "I ain't got much sense left, yet if I can't coax that chap down from there, then it's 'cause I done got some disease which it make me feeble in the mind," says he.

With that, Brer Rabbit took and empty the provender out of he bag and got him two rocks, and put the bag over he head and sat down under the tree where the squirrel is. He wait little while, and then he hit the rocks together—blip!

Squirrel he holler, "Hey!"

Brer Rabbit wait little, and then he took and slap the rocks together—blap!

Squirrel he run down the tree little bit and holler, "Heyo!"

Brer Rabbit ain't saying nothing. He just pop the rocks together—blop!

Squirrel, he come down little further, he did, and holler, "Who that?"

"Biggidy Dicky Big-Bag!"

"What you doing in there?"

"Cracking hickory nuts."

"Can I crack some?"

"To be sure, Miss Bunny Bushtail; come get in the bag."

Miss Bunny Bushtail hang back, but the long and the short of it was that she got in the bag, and Brer Rabbit he took and carried her to old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money. The old Witch-Rabbit, she took and turn the squirrel a-loose, and allow:

There lies a snake in amongst the grass, 

Son Riley; 

go fetch him jere, and be right fast,

Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.

Brer Rabbit look 'round, and sure enough there lay the biggest kind of rattlesnake, all coiled up ready for business. Brer Rabbit scratch he ear with he behind leg, and study. Look like he going get in trouble. Yet after while he go off in the bushes, he did, and cut him a young grape-vine, and he fix him a slip-knot. Then he come back. 

Snake apparently look like he sleep. Brer Rabbit ask him how he come on. Snake ain't say nothing, but he coil up a little tighter, and he tongue run out like it been had grease on it. Mouth shut, yet the tongue slick out and slick back 'fore a sheep can shake he tail. 

Brer Rabbit, he allow, he did, "Lordy, Mr. Snake, I mighty glad I come 'cross you,'" says he. "Me an' old Judge Bear been havin' a terrible dispute 'bout how long you is. We both agree that you look mighty pretty when you are layin' stretch out full length in the sun; but Judge Bear, he allow you ain't but three foot long, an' I stood him down that you was four foot long if not more," says he. "An' the talk got so hot that I come mighty nigh hittin' him a clip with my walkin'-cane, an' if I had I bound they'd've been some bellowin' done 'round there," says he.

Snake ain't say nothing, but he look more complassy than what he been looking.

"I up an' told old Judge Bear," says Brer Rabbit, says he, "that the nex' time I run 'cross you I going take an' measure you; an' goodness knows I mighty glad I struck up with you, 'cause now there won't be no more occasion for any disputin' 'twixt me an' Judge Bear," says he.

Then Brer Rabbit ask Mr. Snake if he won't be so good as to uncoil hisself. Snake he feel mighty proud, he did, and he stretch out for all he worth. Brer Rabbit he measure, he did, and allow, "There one foot for Judge Bear; there three foot for Judge Bear; an', bless goodness, there four foot for Judge Bear, just like I say!"

(image source)

By that time Brer Rabbit done got to snake head, and just as the last word drop out of he mouth, he slip the loop 'round snake neck, and then he had him good and fast. He took and drag him, he did, up to where the old Witch-Rabbit sitting at; but when he get there, Mammy-Bammy Big-Money done make her disappearance, but he hear something way off yonder, and seem like it say, "If you get any more sense, Son Riley, you'll be the ruination of the whole settlement, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley."

Then Brer Rabbit drag the snake along home, and stew him down and rub hisself with the grease for to make him more suppler in the limbs. Bless your soul, Brer Rabbit might've been kind of feeble in the legs, but he weren't no ways cripple under the hat.

C070. Brer Wolf and the Witch-Rabbit

36. Brother Wolf Falls a Victim. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

---

BRER WOLF and the WITCH-RABBIT

It seem like that one time after Brer Wolf took and steal Brer Rabbit foot, there was a mighty long falling-out 'twixt 'em. Brer Rabbit, he took and got ashy 'cause Brer Wolf took and took he foot; and Brer Wolf, he took and got hot 'cause Brer Rabbit work and work 'round and get he foot again. It keep on this a-way till by and by the old Witch-Rabbit sort of get tired of Brer Wolf, and one day she took and sent word to Brer Rabbit that she like mighty well for to see him.

They fix up their plans, they did, and it weren't so mighty long 'fore Brer Rabbit run into Brer Wolf house in a mighty big hurry, and he allow, he did, "Brer Wolf! O Brer Wolf! I just now come from the river, an' just as sure as you are sittin' in that chair, old Big-Money layin' there stone dead. Let's we go eat her up."

"Brer Rabbit, surely you are jokin'!"

(image source)

"Brer Wolf, I'm a-givin' you the fatal fact. Come on, let's go!"

"Brer Rabbit, is you sure she dead?"

"Brer Wolf, she done dead; come on, let's go!"

And go they did. They went 'round and they got all the other critters, and Brer Wolf, living so nigh, he let all he chilluns go, and it weren't so mighty long 'fore they had a crowd there just like camp-meeting times.

When they get there, sure enough, there lay old Big-Money all stretch out on the river bank. This make Brer Wolf feel mighty good, and he took and stick he hands in he pocket and strut 'round there and look monstrous biggity. After he done took and examine old Big-Money much as he want to, he up and allow, he did, that they better sort of rustle 'round and make a fair division. He ask Brer Mink, he ask Brer Coon, he ask Brer Possum, he ask Brer Terrapin, he ask Brer Rabbit, which part they take, and they all up and allow, they did, that being as Brer Wolf the biggest and the heartiest in the neighborhoods of the appetite, they expect he better take the first choosement.

With that Brer Wolf, he sat down on a log, and hang he head to one side, sort of like he ashamed of hisself. By and by, he up and allow, "Now, then, folks an' friends, since you shove it on me, the shortest way is the best way. Brer Coon, we been good friends a mighty long time; how much of this here meat ought a feeble old man like me to take?" says he.

Brer Wolf talk mighty loving. Brer Coon snuff the air, and allow, "I 'spect you better take one of the fore-quarters, Brer Wolf," says he.

Brer Wolf look like he astonished. He lift up he hands, and allow, "Lordy, Brer Coon, I took you to be my friend, that I did. Man what talk like that ain't got no feelin' for me. It make me feel mighty lonesome," says he.

Then Brer Wolf turn 'round and talk mighty loving to Brer Mink, "Brer Mink, many's the day you been a-knowin' me; how much of this here meat you 'spect ought to fall to my share?" says he.

Brer Mink sort of study, and then he allow, "Bein' as you are such a nice man, Brer Wolf, I 'spect you ought to take one of the fore-quarters, and a right smart hunk off of the bulge of the neck," says he.

Brer Wolf holler out, he did, "Go 'way, Brer Mink! Go 'way! You ain't no acquaintance of mine!"

Then old Brer Wolf turn 'round to Brer Possum and talk loving, "Brer Possum, I done been took with a likin' for you long time 'fore this. Look at me, and then look at my family, and then tell me, if you be so good, how much of this here meat goin' to fall to my share."

Brer Possum, he look 'round, he did, and grin, and he up and allow, "Take half, Brer Wolf, take half!"

Then old Brer Wolf holler out, "Shoo, Brer Possum! I like you no more."

Then Brer Wolf turn to Brer Terrapin, and Brer Terrapin say Brer Wolf ought to take all except one of the behind quarters, and then Brer Wolf allow that Brer Terrapin ain't no friend' to him. 

Then he up and ask Brer Rabbit, and Brer Rabbit, he took and respond, he did, "Gentlemens all! You see Brer Wolf chillun? Well, they are all monstrous hungry, an' Brer Wolf hungry hisself. Now I puts this plan straight at you: let's we all let Brer Wolf have the first pass at Big-Money; let's tie him on there, an' let him eat much as he want to, an' then we can pick the bones," says he.

(image source)

"You are my partner, Brer Rabbit!" says Brer Wolf, says he; "you are my honey-partner!"

They all agree to this plan, more specially old Brer Wolf, so then they took and tie him onto Big-Money. They tie him on there, they did, and then old Brer Wolf look all 'round and wunk at the others. Brer Rabbit, he took and wunk back, and then Brer Wolf reach down and bite Big-Money on the back of the neck. Course, when he do this, Big-Money pleased to flinch; let alone that, she pleased to jump. 

Brer Wolf holler out, "Ow! Run here, somebody! Take me off! She ain't dead! O Lordy! I feel her move!"

Brer Rabbit holler back, "Never mind the flinchin', Brer Wolf. She done dead; I done hear her say so herself. She dead, sure. Bite her again, Brer Wolf, bite her again!"

Brer Rabbit talk so stiff, it sort of took the chill off of Brer Wolf, and he dipped down and bit old Big-Money again. With that, she begun to move off, and Brer Wolf he holler just like the woods done catch a-fire, "Ow! O Lordy! Untie me, Brer Rabbit, untie me! She ain't dead! Ow! Run here, Brer Rabbit, and untie me!"

Brer Rabbit, he holler back, "She surely dead, Brer Wolf! Nail her, Brer Wolf! Bite her! Gnaw her!"

Brer Wolf keep on biting, and Big-Money keep on moving off. By and by, she get to the bank of the river, and she fall in—cumberjoom!—and that was the last of Brer Wolf. And Brer Rabbit, he just went off somewheres by he own-alone self and took a big laugh.