C174. Impty-umpty and the Blacksmith

2: Impty-umpty and the Blacksmith. Text Source: Uncle Remus Returns by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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IMPTY-UMPTY AND THE BLACKSMITH 

Impty-Umpty? It's just somebody's name. Some folks call him one thing and some another. Old Impty-Umpty is got more names than you can count on your fingers. Some calls him Satan, some calls him the Old Boy, some calls him Cloots, and he answers to all of 'em; and there's times off and on when he'll come long before you call him. From all I hear, he's even about the busiest critter that ever run about with two behind legs and a tail to boot.

One time, not yesterday, nor the day before, but way back yonder in the days when folks knowed lots more and a heap less than what they knows now, there was a blacksmith what had his shop at the big cross-roads. It seem like that if folks was going anywhere or coming back they pleased to pass this here blacksmith shop. It ain't make no difference where they going, or where they coming from, the blacksmith and his shop was right spang on their road. Time and time again some of 'em set right flat on the ground and try for to figure out how and why it was that they'd have to pass this shop, no matter which way they started nor which way they come back. They figured and figured, but it ain't do 'em a grain of good. In the due time, they'd hear a whanging and a clanging, and when they'd look up, there was the shop, looking red inside on account the fire, and there was the bellows a-wheezing and a-snorting, and the big sledge hammer a-banging on the anvil, till it look like it'd bust it wide open. No difference what road they took they'd have to pass the shop, and if they pass the shop they'd have to see the red light a-shining and hear the sledge hammer a-banging.

The shop got so hot up in the daytime that it held the heat all night, and the blacksmith ain't been working there long before old Brer Rabbit find out that if he want to get warm and feel good all he had to do was to creep under the door and sit by the fire and nod. In them days folks had a better opinion of the critters than what they got now, and they was more familious with 'em than what they is now.

But the blacksmith was so big and strong that he set everybody another kind or pattern. He weren't scared of the biggest critter that come along, let 'em be rhinossy-hoss or hippoty-potamus.

As for Brer Rabbit, he weren't nowhere. He was lots bigger in them days than what he is now, but he weren't no match in muscle for the man what been slinging the sledge hammer — and so there it was, the blacksmith with big arms and strong legs, and old Brer Rabbit, with nothing but a long head and big ears.

Old Brer Rabbit had a mighty habit of sitting up late at night. He'd sit up so late, a-playing his pranks and a-cutting up his capers, that when he woke up the next morning he was even about as sleepy as he had been the night before; and there was times when he ain't wake up till he hear the blacksmith fumbling at the door. And more specially there was one time when the blacksmith walk right in on him and found him sitting up close to the place where the fire done been at. Instead of shooing Brer Rabbit away like he ought to have done if he ain't want him there, the blacksmith flung a hammer at him, and if it had've hit him they wouldn't've been enough of him left for to stop a hole in a chigger's house. But Brer Rabbit dodge the hammer, and went scooting to the briar patch where he born and bred at. He went out there, he did, and felt hisself all over for to see if he was all there, and then, when he find out that he was, he jump up and crack his heels together and wunk one eye like somebody done tell him a great secret.

He sat out there in the briar patch and study what he gonna do next, and along about that time who should come along that way but old man Billy Rickerson-Dickerson. Knowing Brer Rabbit long and well he stopped for to pass the time of day and ask the news, and he ain't been there long before Brer Rabbit told him many a long tale that nobody ain't never hear before. By the time he was ready for to sing out his so-long Brer Rabbit ask him if he'll do a favor for one of his old time friends, and Mr. Rickerson-Dickerson allow that he will.

"Well, then," says old Brer Rabbit, says he, "when you are passin' the blacksmith shop, just poke your head in the do', and say, 'Friend, you'll have company soon,' and the next passer-by you meet, tell 'em to do the same."

Well, sir, the word went round, and it wasn't long before everybody that come by the blacksmith shop had the same saying in their mouth — Friend, you'll have company soon — and this set the blacksmith to studying. He ask hisself what they all mean by that, and it got so after awhile that he'd put the hot iron on the anvil and let it get stone cold before he hit a lick with the hammer. He was so worried that he can't sleep at night, and the nigh neighbors wondered when they hear the bellows a-snorting and the hammer a-banging. They say to theyself that the blacksmith pleased to have a mighty heap of work to do, and they don't know where it all come from, nor who was having it done.

By and by, after so long a time, the neighbors got so that they'd drop in on him after supper and sit and talk and dodge sparks whiles the blacksmith run the bellows and swung the hammer. One night, the talk turned on the Old Boy and his belongings. The fire burnt so blue and the sparks flewed so far, that they can't help but think about the Bad Place, and with that, they pleased to think about old Impty-Umpty, the one what runs it. The blacksmith was monstrous busy, but he ain't so busy but what he can hear what they talking about. He blowed the bellows, and he hammered the red-hot iron, but he ain't lost none of their talk, specially when they begun to talk about old Impty-Umpty. He listened, he did, but he keep on a-making what he started for to make when he first got word that he was going to have company, and before they got through telling what they know'd about old Impty-Umpty, he done finish it. He set it up on the anvil and pushed all 'round with his tongs, and them what was sitting there sees that it was a box — a big iron box with the sides all welded together, and the top fixed so that he can weld that up tight the minute he got good and ready.

He turn the box all 'round and 'round, and then he wipe the sweat off of his forehead and grin. He allow, "There's a box what is a box; if anybody can beat it, let 'im do it. Everybody been tellin' me I'm going to have company soon, an' I 'spect it must be so. But they can't come 'fore I'm ready for 'em."

Then he ask 'em all how come they have to talk about old Impty-Umpty, and what do they know about him anyhow. This start the talk again, and if the Old Boy had've had any character they'd have ruined it right then and there. They say that there ain't but three things that he can't turn hisself into whilst he roaming 'round the world seeking whomsoever he might destroy; one was a hog, one was a monkey, and one was a cat.

The blacksmith laugh and say that if old Impty-Umpty is going to be the company they were talking about, well and good, 'cause he just as ready for him as what he is for anybody else. He ain't no sooner say this, than a tall black man stepped inside the door and bowed, with "Howdy, masters an' friends!"

They all looked at him up and down, and well they might, 'cause never in all their born days is they see anybody like that. He was black, but he ain't look like no black man. His eyes shined like a piece of glass in the moonlight. He had on a stove-pipe hat and a broadcloth suit, he was slim and slick and supple, and it seem like he was club-footed and double-jointed.

Well, he stood there smicking and smiling, and it look like that the more you look at him, the slicker he got. He allow, "Masters an' friends, you'll have to 'scuse me for comin' in so sudden like. I use to be a blacksmith myself, an' I never catches a glimpse of a forge an' a fire but what it seem like I'm a-pleased to stop in a minute if only for to warm my hands like this."

He held out his hands towards the live charcoals, and the fire sprung up just like it do when you are working the bellows for all she's worth. The flame burnt white, and then it burnt blue, and by and by it burnt right green, and all the time it got bigger and bigger, till it begun to wrap 'round the Black Man's hands just like snakes. Nobody ain't say a word; they ain't had no needs to; it took up all their time for to watch what the Black Man going to do next.

By and by, when he done warm his hands as much as he want to, he turn to the blacksmith and say, says he, "I hear you 'specting company soon."

The blacksmith he up and ask, "Who been tellin' you?"

The Black Man make answer, "Why, I seen old man Rickerson-Dickerson this mornin', an' he ain't mo' 'n told me howdy 'fore he allow that you 'spectin' company, an' soon's I hear that I told him for to sit down in the big rockin'-chair an' make hisself at home, an' off I put for to see who this company might be that was comin' to see you."

Now, all them neighbors what had come in to sit up with the blacksmith knowed mighty well that old man Rickerson-Dickerson had done been buried the day before, and it make 'em open their eyes when they hear the Black Man say that he had seed him that morning; and one old man, what had white hair, and was kind of shaky in the legs, up and ask, "Whereabouts is it you see him at?"

The Black Man say, "I seed him comin' down the road, an' he look like he was kind of cold, an' I asked him in for to warm by my fire. We had a little chat, an' then it was that he told me about how there was company 'spected at the cross-roads blacksmith shop."

The old man allow, "An' did he warm hisself?"

The Black Man flung back his head, and laugh till the smoke came out of his mouth. He say, "Mr. Rickerson-Dickerson sure did get warm, an' the reason I knows is 'cause I hear him say so hisself!" The old man shook his head and say, says he, that he reckon he better be poling on towards home, on accounts of the lateness of the hour.

That smoke came out of his mouth wasn't no natural smoke neither, 'cause it smell just like it do when you strike one of the old timey, smiflicating matches. It kind of give the neighbors a turn, and one by one they sneaked off home, till the first news you know, there weren't nobody left in the shop but the Black Man and the blacksmith, with old Brer Rabbit peeping through a crack.

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The Black Man he say, says he, "I done had my eye on you, an' I like the way you do mighty well. You been working too hard an' too much, but you'll get over them kind of habits one of these long-come-shorts. I use to be a blacksmith myself, an' I'm afeared you go at it in a mighty round 'bout way. What does you want with a fire, an' what use is you got for that great big bellows, which you have to work yourself to pieces for to blow?

The blacksmith he allow, he did, that he pleased to have a fire, and the onliest way he can have one is to make the bellows blow its breath on it.

The Black Man, he say, says he, "There might've been a time when I had the same idea, but that time is done past an' gone. Let me show you how I does the business."

With that, he took up a plow tongue, held it close to his mouth, and blowed on it once or twice, and it got red-hot, and then took on a white heat, the kind they calls a welding heat. He put it on the anvil, and hit a lick or two with the hammer, and it come out the prettiest shovel plow you ever is lay your eyes on.

He held it out, but the blacksmith back off, he did, and allow, "Who the name of goodness is you anyhow?"

The Black Man frown when he hear the word "goodness" but he make answer, "Folks got a heap of different names for me, but I ain't no ways proud, an' so I responds to all of 'em."

The blacksmith say, says he, "I believe you ain't nobody but old Impty-Umpty."

"An' yet," says the Black Man, says he, "some calls me the Old Boy, an' then, again, they calls me Satan, an' I got worse soundin' names than that."

"They tells me," says the blacksmith, says he, "that there's three things you can't do," says he.

Old Impty-Umpty allow, "Be pleased for to homnyname 'em," says he.

"Well, sir," says the blacksmith, says he, "it talked 'round in the neighborhood that you can't change yo'self into a hog, nor a monkey, nor neither into a cat."

Old Impty-Umpty grinned and showed his sharp tooths, and then he leapt in the air with a little twist, and when he hit the ground again, he was in the resemblance of a hog, and he look so much like a hog that he went grunting all over the shop, and gobbling up every scrap of vittles he can find.

Then he lay down and wallowed like he was in a mud-hole, and got up a monkey. Well, Mr. Monk was more livelier than what the hog was, and he run up the wall, and got on the rafters, and sat there chattering and whistling just like a sure enough monkey.

He dropped from the rafters, and when he hit the ground, the monkey was a cat, not a great big one, but a little black one that you'd've been sorry for if you'd have seed it.

By that time the blacksmith had his iron box ready and sitting on the ground, and when the cat come close enough, he grabbed it by the back of the neck and soused it in the box, and slammed down the led and fastened it. Then he laugh and laugh, till it look like he ain't never going to get done laughing.

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But old Brer Rabbit, with his eye to the crack, begun to get kind of unpatient, and he fetch the ground a whack with his behind foot. He hit so hard and so quick that you'd have thunk somebody was beating on the muffled drum.

Blacksmith say, says he, "Who that?"

Brer Rabbit respond, "I'm the man what you had in the box" — just so.

Blacksmith say, says he, "Go 'way! You can't fool me! Old Impty-Umpty in here where I put him at, an' he'll be impty-umptied before he's emptied. You hear me talkin'!"

Brer Rabbit say, says he, "Shake the box, man! Shake the box!"

And sure enough, when the blacksmith shake the box, he ain't hear nothing in there. He shake it again, and he don't hear nothing in there.

Well, this kind of thing ain't what he been expecting and he kind of scratch his head. He study and he study what he gonna do, and by and by he sat right flat on the ground and open the box for to see if it's empty of Impty-Umpty.

He open it, he did, and raise the lid and try to peep in, but he ain't see nothing. He raise it a little higher, and when he done that, a great big black bat flewed out of the box and hit him right spang in the face. He done his level best for to catch it; he struck at it with his hat, and slapped at it with his hand, but the bat done gone out of reach, and when the blacksmith look up, it was sailing round amongst the rafters, fliffing and fluffling, and gritting its toothies.

The bat flew'd 'round much as it want to, and then it made a dart for the door and was gone — done gone!

Well, time went on, and the day come when the blacksmith shop was shut up, and the blacksmith hisself was swapped from the cooling-board to the graveyard. From cooling-board to graveyard ain't such a mighty far ways, but I don't expect the blacksmith cared if it was long or short.

They tells me — I dunno if it's so or no; it might be just the hearsay — but they tells me that the blacksmith had occasion to go down there where Impty-Umpty live at; he might just've been passing by; leastways he went to Impty- Umpty's house and knock at the door.

He knock once and he knock twice, and then old Impty-Umpty holler and ask, "Who dat?"

Blacksmith say, says he,'''Tain't nobody but me."

Impty-Umpty allow, he did, "If you are that blacksmith what shut the cat up in a box, you can't come in this place," and then he call one of his little Impties, and say, "Go get him a chunk of fire an' let him start a sinner fact'ry of his own. He can't come in here."

Dat was all the far the tale could follow the blacksmith.

C175. Taily-Po

3: Taily-Po. Text Source: Uncle Remus Returns by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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TAILY-PO

This here tale, what I had fresh in my mind, is got a song in it, and that's the reason I ain't been itching for to tell it; 'cause I ain't got the knack of singing what I used to have. When I was young, the old folks was always a-telling me that if I don't stop hollering so loud, I'd break my puckering string, and I expect that what the matter with me now. I done hollered so much, calling the hogs and the sheep, and one thing and another, that you can't expect me to tune up and sing just anywhere and any time.

When this tale was handed down to me — and that was too long ago to talk about — it seem like that some kind of hard feelings done sprung up 'twixt Mr. Man and old Brer Rabbit, some kind of dispute about garden peas, and goobers.

Mr. Man say that Brer Rabbit nipped off the tops time they get out of the ground good.

Mr. Rabbit, he allow, that them what Mr. Man miss ain't never come out of the ground.

Mr. Man say that may be so, but he tell Brer Rabbit to just look at the cabbages, where they nibbled.

Brer Rabbit allow, he did, that it might be the calfies of the big green worms, and he ask Mr. Man what needs do he have for to be nibbling at spindling greens like 'em, when he got a fine garden of his own.

Mr. Man say he'd a heap rather see that fine garden than to hear tell of it.

And so the dispute run on; one word calling for another, and there they had it till by and by both of 'em was trying for to say two words to the other's one. The upshot of it was that Mr. Man get so mad that he was red in the face, and he call his dogs, Ramboo, Bamboo, and Lamboo, and sicced 'em on Brer Rabbit; and you know mighty well that if they'd have been any partnership 'twixt 'em this siccing the dogs on would have bust it up.

Now, the dogs ain't got no better sense than to do the best they can. They track old Brer Rabbit, they trail him and they track him 'round and 'round and up and down, till by and by he say to hisself that if they don't kind of let up he sure will drop in his tracks. Whiles he loping long, with his tongue out and his tail off, he come to the big holler poplar by the cool spring. He went in, he did, and run up stairs and sat down in a chair, and panted like he'd been playing hop-and-go-fetch-it. He went up stairs, he did, and sat down in the big rocking-chair, and panted till he got kind of rested.

And all this time, Ramboo, Bamboo, and Lamboo was a-running 'round with their nose to the ground trying for to pick up the trail where they lost it at. They run here and they run there, they run hither and they run yon; but they can't find it, and by and by they dropped their tails and went on home. Brer Rabbit just might as well have took wings and flewed away, for all the dogs knowed.

Well, the dogs went on back home, and after so long a time, after Brer Rabbit done chew on his cud much as he want to, he come down, and went on about his business. And I tell you, hon, it was big business, too, if you'll believe me. He put out, he did, and he went, lippity-clippity, away off in the middle of the swamp, where old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money live at. He was going along mighty gaily before he got in sight of the house, but time he see that, he begun to get droopy, till, time he get to the gate — if there was a gate — he look like he been sick a month or more.

Weak as he look, he can holler, and he hailed and hailed till somebody helloed, and in he went. When he got in there, he look more droopy and puny than if he'd have had a spell of swamp fever. Mammy-Bammy Big-Money ask him what the matter, and he say he in deep trouble, and then he up and relate all the circumstance, about how Mr. Man been treating him, and Mammy-Bammy Big-Money shook her head and say that it look like to her that them kind of doings ain't much less than scandalous.

Hanging on the wall of the place was the hide of some kind of varmint — I don't know what. It had the head, the footsies, and the tail on. She took it down, and laid it on the floor, and then got a handful of salt and sprinkle it on the fire, a little at a time, singin',
Rise, skin, rise,
Open your big red eyes —
Sharpen your long, black claws,
and work your big strong jaws!

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So said, so done, 'cause whiles the salt was a-snapping and a-cracking in the fire, the varmint hide begun to move, and stretch itself. Then it begun to roll and wallow on the floor and time the salt done all burn up, there it was, big as life and twice as natural, walking 'round and rubbing against old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money for all the world like a great, big, double-jointed wild-cat. Brer Rabbit give the varmint plenty of room, whenever it come his way. By and by, the old witch up and tell Brer Rabbit that he can go home now and rest in peace, 'cause it ain't going to be many long hours before Mr. Man will have all he can tend to without pestering with anybody else.

The hide had been hanging up so long, and was so hard and stiff, that the varmint had some trouble along at first. There was big hard wrinkles here and there, but it wasn't so mighty long before it all limbered up, and the critter, whatsomever the name might be, got so that it can rack 'round just as supple as any other critter.

Brer Rabbit went off home and went to bed, so that when night come he can be up and about, with both eyes open, and both ears ready for to hear a bug flying a mile off. When it was time for Brer Rabbit to get up and be a-moseying 'round for to see what there is for to be seed, Mr. Man was fixing for to go to bed. He got in there, he did, and the bed feel so satisfying that he fetch a grunt and a groan, and then, before you can say Billy Billups, with your mouth open, he was done gone, and every time he drawed a breath it sound like somebody was trying for to grind coffee.

Well, it went on this away, till some time enduring the night, and then, all at once, Mr. Man opened his eyes and find hisself wide awake, just like folks do when they get the idea that there's somebody in the room. He listen, and he listen, and by and by he hear something stirring about amongst the pots and the pans in the little room where he does his cooking at. He hear it and then he don't hear it; then he hear it, and it sound like there's something in there hunting for scraps of vittles.

So, out of the bed he slips, and slams the door too, which it done come open. He slams it, but not before the critter what's in there done gone out, all excepting the tail. He catch the tail when he slam the door, and off it come right smick-smack-smooth. The tail was wiggling so that he can't hardly pick it up, and when he do, he can't hardly hold it in his hand. He look at it, and he say to hisself that he ain't never is see no tail like that. He took and tuck it in the room where he sleep at, and uncovered the fire, and kindle it up, and all this time the tail what he had in his hand was giving him about as much as he can do for to hold it.

By and by, he put it down on the hearth, and put his foot on it, but it was a long tail and a strong tail, and it kept up a mighty wiggling and squirming, and it worked itself out so that it had some room, and then it begun to hit the man on the legs, and it hit so hard that it made him holler. Then he got mad, and he grab up the tail and flung it in the fire, spang in the middle of the red-hot embers. If you never see squirming you might have seed it then if you'd have been there. You know how lizard's tail'll jump, and do like they're alive long after they been knocked off — well, this here tail was lots more liver than what they is. It was a big strong tail, and it jump about so that it knock the ashes and the embers out on the hearth, and the onliest way that Mr. Man can keep it in the fire, is to hold it down with the tongs whiles he took the shovel and covered it with the live coals. It fried and shook, and shook and fried, till by and by it look like they wasn't nothing for to fry and shake.

Then Mr. Man went to bed again, after looking at the seven stars for to see what time it is, and he make up his mind he going to catch up the sleep what he done lost, but time he get to dozing good, he hear a mighty scratching and gnawing at the top of the door where they was a crack at.

He allow, "Who that?" and then he lay still and listen, and after while he hear something say and sing,
Taily-po! You know and I know
that I wants my Taily-po!
Over and under and through the door,
I'm a-coming for to get my Taily-po!

Mr. Man laid there in bed, and he ain't know what to do. The scratching and gnawing went on, till Mr. Man fairly shook and shivered; but by and by he thunk of his dogs, and he made so bold as to go to the back door and call 'em. "Here, Ramboo! Here, Bamboo! Here, Lamboo — here, here! Here, dogs, here!"

Well, the dogs ain't got no better sense than to come when they're called, and they come a-runnin'. Mr. Man sicced 'em 'round to the front of the house, and it seem like that when they got there, they took right after something, and off they went a-flying till they get plumb out of hearing.

Before they can get back home again, Mr. Man was just about to drop off to sleep when he hear the same scratching fuss, and this time it was at the back door, where they was a bigger crack. He ask who the name of goodness is that, and what does they want at this time of night, when all honest folks ought to be in bed. And no sooner is he ask this, than there come the answer.
Your name, I know, is Whaley-Joe, 
and before I'm going to really go, 
I'm pleased to have my Taily-po; 
Give me that and I'll gaily go — 
Taily-po! My Taily-po!

Mr. Man went out to the front and call the dogs, but they ain't there, and so they can't respond. There was Mr. Man, and somewheres not far off was the scratching and gnawing critter, crying out,
I know you know, and I know I know, 
that all I wants is my Taily-po!

Mr. Man shut and barred the door, and went back to bed and pull the cover over his head, 'cause he don't know what more to do. He can't catch the critter in the the dark, without the help of the dogs, and the dogs done gone away off yonder. He got his head covered, but in spite of this he pleased to listen at the scratching, and gnawing, and growling, and he shake and shiver worse than he ever done.

Somehow or another, by tooth or toenail, the critter got in the house, and no sooner is he get in than he begun to ramble 'round hunting for his tail. He rambled, he did, and when anything got in his way, he'd hunch it over, and root it out of the way. Pans fell on the floor, — slam-bang-er-rang! — pots got turned over, and when they roll across the floor they sound like a young thunderstorm.

The man, he lay there, and shook and shiver'd. By and by the varmint come to the fireplace in the room where the man sleeping at. In them days, they wasn't no matches, not even theze here smiflicating kind, and folks had to cover up their fire if they expected to find any there the next morning; it was that, or walking a mile or more for to borrow a chunk.

Well, Mr. Man had covered his fire after he put the critter's tail in the embers; he had ashes on top of the embers, and the embers on top of the chunks and coals. The critter come up to the hearth, he did, and nosed 'round, and it seem like he smell something, 'cause he growled, and then he whined, and with that, he start to paw in the fire. The way he scratch and claw it up was a sin. The red-hot embers flewed out on the floor, the live coals followed um, and then out come their chunks, and wheresomever they hit a blaze sprung up. Some flewed on the bed, and some flewed clean over it. When the critter had clawed all the fire out, there was his tail all safe and sound, and he grabbed it up in his mouth, and went out of the house like there was something after him.

By that time the house was in a blaze, and not only the house, but the bed where Mr. Man was laying at. It was then getting close to daybreak, and when the other folks begun to wake up and stir 'round, they say, "Heyo! Some neighbor is burnin' off his new ground." Old Brer Rabbit, sitting in his rocking-chair, kind of wunk one eye, and say, "Humph! I 'clare to gracious if I don't smell smoke!" And Old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, away off in the swamp, raise her head and say, "I smells meat a-fryin'!"

C121. Brother Bear and the Honey Orchard

2: Brother Bear and the Honey Orchard. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Internet Archive. (The scan at Hathi Trust is missing a page.) I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Well, there was one time when most all  the critters, horn, claw, and wing, live in  the same settlement. They'd have some fusses, but they ain't had no falling out, and they was living just as satisfactual as what folks does. Times was mighty hard, and it was in about all they can do for to scuffle along and make buckle and tongue meet. Eke and scrape as they would, some of 'em'd have to go to bed hungry.

Yet they took notice of one thing, that whiles all of 'em was getting poor and poorer, ole Brer Bear was getting fatter and fatter. Whiles the other critters' ribs was standing out like barrel hoops, Brer Bear was slick and round as a butter ball. He just wallowed in fat; he was too fat to keep the flies off of hisself. 

They all study and study how Brer Bear can keep so fat when times is so hard. Brer Rabbit made up his mind that he going to get at the bottom of the matter, and so he keep his eye on Brer Bear. He watch him, he did, and it weren't long before he seed that Brer Bear was doing mighty queer. Instead of sitting up late and talking politics, he'd go to bed with the chickens, and by good daylight he'd be up and gone. This bother Brer Rabbit mightily. He got so pestered and fretted that many's the time when he'd be going along the road he'd squat right flat on the ground and scratch his head and study. 

Brer Rabbit had done got the knack of sitting up all night and sleeping late in the day, but by and by, one night he took and pay Brer Bear a visit for to see what he can find out. He got to the door, he did, and scrape his foot on the step and sort of clear up his throat. Old Miss Bear, she come out on the porch for to see who it is, and she was monstrous polite. She howdied with Brer Rabbit, and ask him if he won't come in and take off his things and set awhile with 'em. Brer Rabbit say he don't care if he do, being's how he ain't seed 'em all in so long, and old Miss Bear, she rustle round and fetch a chair, and ask Brer Rabbit for to make hisself at home. 

Brer Rabbit cross his legs, he did, and allow that he ain't seed Brer Bear in a coon's age; and Miss Bear, she fan herself with a turkey-tail fan, and allow that times so hard her old man had to work soon and late for to make both ends meet. Then she excuse herself, and say she got to go right now and fix a bag of ashes for him to take to work with him in the morning. 

Brer Rabbit ask what in the name of goodness Brer Bear do with a bag of ashes, and old Miss Bear laugh and say she don't know what on top side of earth he do with 'em, but she expect it's just one of his notions. 

Old Miss Bear work her fan till it fair flutter, and she allow, "Goodness knows, that old bag of ashes is done occasion me more trouble than it worth. But you know how men folks is, Brer Rabbit, they'll have their way if it's the last act. What my old man want with a bag of ashes every mornin' is more than I can tell you, but have 'em he will, spite of all creation. They got to be out there by the chimey corner so he can get 'em when he start to work." 

Brer Rabbit say, "Where Brer Bear now? I ain't hear him in there."

Old Miss Bear laugh till she bent over. She allow, "You ain't going to hear him neither, Brer Babbit, 'less you happen to hear him snore. Sleep! I ain't never is see nobody what can sleep like my old man. He ain't take time to eat, scarcely, 'fore he's ready for the bed, and he don't more'n strike the bed before he's sound asleep. I laugh, and tell him it's mighty blessing for him that I ain't know what a sleepy-head he is before I marry him."

With that Brer Rabbit say he better be going, and he tip old Miss Bear a bow and wish her mighty well. He went off a little piece, he did, and sat down by the road, and twist his moustaches, and study about that bag of ashes. He ask hisself was old Miss Bar trying for to fool him, and he got so pestered that he ain't know what to do. 

After so long a time, he slipped back to Brer Bear's house, and, sure enough, there was the bag of ashes in the chimney corner, and inside the house he could hear Brer Bear snoring away like somebody sawing gourds. Brer Rabbit make up his mind that he'd sort of hang 'round and see where Brer Bear go to so soon in the morning. So he capered 'round in the grass one half the night, and played with the lightning bugs the other half. 

Time the chickens begun to crow for day, Brer Bear was up and a-stirring, and by the time it was light good, he'd done slung the bag of ashes across his shoulder and was a-making for the woods. Brer Rabbit try to keep up, but he scared to get too close, and first news he know Brer Bear done make his disappearance. When that happen, they ain't nothing more for Brer Rabbit to do but go home and dreama'bout what the name of goodness Brer Bear gonna do with that bag of ashes. 

The next night Brer Rabbit played round and run after lightning bugs till everything got still at Brer Bear's house, and then he went to look for the bag of ashes. Sure enough, there it was — same bag in the same chimney corner. Brer Rabbit felt the heft of it, and it seem like to him that they was about a bushel of ashes in there. Then he grab hold of one corner of the bag and tored a hole in it. Some of the ashes got up Brer Rabbit's nose, and he find out he pleased to sneeze. He hold in as long as he can, and make a break for to get as far from the house as he can before the sneeze come. He held his breath, he did, long as he can, and when the sneeze did bust aloose, gentlemens! He turned a fair somersault backwards, and there was such a splutterment that the Guinea hens got to hollering and the chickens to cackling, and old Brer Rabbit took his foot in his hand and lit out from there. 

Well, sir, next morning he got up some sooner than he in the habits of doing, and he went 'round by Brer Bear's house. He went 'round the same way where he see Brer Bear go the morning before that, and he ain't gone far till he see where the ashes been spilling out of the bag. That what he make the hole in the bag for. Every time Brer Bear take a step, he'd jolt the ashes out. Brer Rabbit, he followed the track of the ashes. He followed long, he did, up hill and down, through bushes and through briers, till by and by he come upon Brer Bear, and what you reckon that critter was a-doing? Well, sir, he weren't doing nothing in the round world but eating honey! Pure honey! Eating honey and cleaning the comb. Just the natural stark-naked bee-juice! 

When Brer Rabbit see that, he like to fainted. He flung both hands up and fell down on the ground like he dead. The sight scare him. He pleased to be scared. Old Brer Bear ain't look like hisself. He done empty the bag of ashes on the ground and wallow in 'em till he look like he done turn gray enduring the night. He put 'em on him, I expect, for to keep bees from stinging him. There hwas, up a tree, eating honey by the handful, and all 'round that place there was a clump of big poplar trees. Every one of 'em was hollow, and every one of 'em was full of honey, 'cause Brer Rabbit seed the bees just a-swaming in and out constant. He sat there, he did, and watch Brer Bear eating honey till he begun to dribble at the mouth, and he got so hungry that by and by he went up closer, and ask Brer Bear for to please, sir, give him a handful of honey.

Brer Bear allow, "Go way from there, you triflin', low down villain! I give you nothin'! Go on about yo' business, 'fore I come down there an' wear you out to a frazzle!"

Brer Rabbit say, "Please, sir, Brer Bear, just give me a little piece; just a teenchy bit of the comb, Brer Bear." 

With dat, Brer Bear sort of scramble down the tree like he coming after Brer Rabbit, and I bet you Brer Rabbit got up and dusted away from there. He took a nigh cut home, and he sat down in the chimney corner and studied out a plan for to get even with Brer Bear. So the next day, whiles Brer Bear done gone to the honey orchard, Brer Rabbit assemble all the critters, horn, claw, and wing, and tell 'em how the land lay, and how Brer Bear been fooling 'em. He say it ain't no wonder that Brer Bear rolling in fat when he go off there every day and gorge hisself on honey, and not let nobody get a smell of it, much less a taste. 

All the critters agree with Brer Rabbit, and they say they'd do anything he tell 'em, if they can learn Brer Bear some manners. Then Brer Rabbit say he expect the best way to do is to get up a hurricane. The critters ask him how the name of goodness they gonna do that, and Brer Rabbit say he'll fix it. Then he took 'em all out there close to the honey orchard, and all the big critters he made stand by big saplings, and the little ones he put at the little saplings. 

He allow, "Now then, when you hear me holler, you rub up against these saplin's and shake 'em as hard as you can."

The wing critters what can fly, he made get up in the top of the trees. He allow, "When you hear me holler, you flutter just as hard as you can." 

The wing critters what can run, he made 'em get in the broom-sage, and he allow, "When you hear me holler, run through the grass as hard as you can."

Brer Rabbit had a long rope, and he went off a little piece for to get a good start, and directly here he come, dragging the rope and running like a yellow dog with a tin pail tied to his tail. Brer Bear, up there in the bee-tree, hear him running, and ask him what the matter. 

With that Brer Rabbit fetch a whoop, and allow, "There's a hurricane comin', Brer Bear, and I pleased to run somewheres and tie myself to a tree, for to keep from being blowed away. Don't you hear it comin'?" 

Course, when Brer Rabbit hollered, the critters at the saplings begun to shake 'em, and the wing critters in the trees begun to flutter, and the others begun to run in the grass, and they make the biggest kind of noise. Brer Bear, he scrambled about half-way down the bee-tree, and then he turn everything loose and hit the ground kerbiff! Look like it was enough to jolt the life out of him. 

He say, "For mercy sake, Brer Rabbit, tie me along with you. This just as good a place as you'll find. Tie me with you, Brer Rabbit." The critters keep on making their fuss, and Brer Bear get scareder and scareder. Brer Rabbit took Brer Bear at his word, and he tied him hard and fast to a tree.

(image source)

When he had him fastened so he can't get loose, he call to all the critters, Brer Rabbit did, and tell 'em to come look at Brer Bear. Then he allow, "Whiles the hurricane going on, let's us go get a bite of honey. There ain't no wind what can blow Brer Bear off whiles he fix this away." 

With that they raided the honey orchard, and gobble up all they want, and took some home for their women folks and chilluns. That what's in the tale I can tell you; that what ain't you'll have to figure out for yourself.

C122. Brother Rabbit Has Fun at the Ferry

3: Brother Rabbit Has Fun at the Ferry. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Brer Bear was a mighty fine ferryman, there ain't no two ways about that. But there was one time when he got outdone. I don't know what time of the day, nor what day of the month, but it was somewheres 'twixt two sun-ups. Brer Bear was sitting in the shade, wishing that someone'd come long and drop a sevenpence in his pocket. He was just about to doze off when he hear somebody holler. Man across the river say, "Hello!"

Brer Bear raise up and allow, "How you like for somebody to call you Hello?"

Man holler back, "Come put me 'cross."

Brer Bear respond, "Ah-yi." 

The man was riding a gray mare, and the gray mare had a gray colt with her. Brer Bear swung the flat on the other side, and whiles she was a-swinging he was counting his money:

Oh, the rope is long, catch a hold, catch a hold, 

Oh, the rope is long, catch a hold, —

A dime for the mare, a dime for the man, 

And a thrip for the little gray colt. 

The flat she swung 'round, and Brer Bear he sung out, "Ride in, mister, and make yo'self at home." 

Right then and there, right then and there the trouble begun. Nobody weren't to blame; nobody weren't the occasion of it. It just broke out by it's own 'lone self. The man, he cluck to the mare, and try for to ride her in the flat, but the mare she held her head down and sort of snort, and refuse to budge. The man try to coax her, but she won't be coaxed. Then he give her the whip and spur, but she whirl 'round and refuse to go in the flat. She'd go up, she'd go down, she'd go anywhere and everywhere excepting in the flat. Then the man lit and tried to lead her, but the mare drug him about over the sand like he ain't weigh more than two pound and a half. 

Brer Bear try to help, but it ain't do no good. The colt seed that his mammy was scared, and he begun to whicker and squeal and run 'round like a pig with hot dishwater on his back. This make a bad matter worse. There they stood. The man, he study, and Brer Bear, he study, but it ain't do no good. 

By and by Brer Bear look 'round, and who should he see sitting cross-legged on a stump a-watching on him, but old Brer Rabbit?

(image source)

There he was, just as natural as one of these here daguerreotypes. From where he stood Brer Bear couldn't tell whether Brer Babbit was laughing or whether  he was crying, but his face was mighty wrinkled up. 

Brer Bear call him, but Brer Rabbit shook his head. Brer Bear ask him to come help him get the mare on the flat, but Brer Rabbit shook his head. Brer Bear was about to abuse Brer Rabbit before company, but another notion struck him, and he took and wobbled off to where Brer Rabbit was sitting. Time he got where they could hold a confab, Brer Rabbit allow, "What the name of goodness is you all tryin' to do down there? What kind of capers is you cuttin' up? I been sitting here watching you, and just dyin' of laughin' at the way you an' the man an' them critters been goin' on."

Brer Bear try to explain, but Brer Rabbit keep a-talking. "Go on back down there, Brer Bear, and fool 'round with 'em some more. For gracious sake lemme have my fun out! Go on, Brer Bear — go on! Whiles I'm a-sittin' here chewin' my tobacco, lemme enjoy myself, an' get the worth of my holiday. Go june-bug 'round some more!" 

Then Brer Bear up and tell Brer Rabbit what the matter is, and Brer Rabbit laugh and holler fit to kill hisself. He allow, "My goodness, Brer Bear, I had the idea that you all been cuttin' up them capers a-purpose."

Brer Bear allow, "No, bless gracious! That man yonder want to be put 'cross. He just pleased to be put 'cross, but how I gonna do it, I'll never tell you."

Brer Rabbit say, says he, "Well, Brer Bear, if you let that bother you more than a minute, you'll make me believe that you got dropsy of the head. I hear tell that lots of folks is gettin' down with that kind of sickness." 

Then Brer Bear say he expect he got it, 'cause he can't make no arrangement for to get that old mare on the flat. Brer Rabbit look at him right hard, and sort of wrinkle up his face. He allow, says he, "Brer Bear, it just as easy as going to sleep in a swing." 

Brer Bear say, says he, "Brer Rabbit, how I gonna do! If you'll tell me that, I'll do anythin' you ask me; you can't ask me nothin' I won't do."

Brer Rabbit allow, says he, "Well then, Brer Bear, all you got to do is to shove the colt on the flat, and the mammy'll follow right after." 

Old Brer Bear went a-wobbling back to the river, and when he got there he drove the colt on the flat, and the mare followed after, same as if she'd been born and raise on a flat. When Brer Bear see that, he allow, "Well!" 

The man ask him who told him how to do that. Brer Bear make answer that it was Brer Rabbit, and then he went on to tell the man about what a soon critter Brer Rabbit is, that nobody can't fool him, and nobody can't outdo him. The man listen, and then he allow that he coming back that a-way in a day or two, and he bet a pot of honey against a dish of cream that he can outdo Brer Babbit. Brer Bear took the bet, and then they shook hands to make it more binding. 

Well, it weren't long after that before here come the man back, and this time he had two mares. He was riding one, and leading the other, and they was both just as much alike as two peas. They was the same color, the same size, and the same gait. Brer Bear took the man 'cross on the other side, and then he say that now is the time for to settle the bet. He allow, says he, "One of these mares is the mammy, and the other one is the colt. Now call up Brer Rabbit, and ask him to tell me which is which, and which is the other. Ask him to tell me which is the mammy, and which is the colt. And he ain't got to look in their mouth neither."

Brer Bear look at 'em mighty close, and then he shake his head. Man say, "Go fetch me my dish of cream." Brer Bear look, and look, and still he shake his head. Man say, "Go fetch my dish of cream." 

Brer Bear feel mighty bad, 'cause he smell the pot of honey in the man's saddle-bags, and it make his mouth water. Man keep on saying, "Go fetch my dish of cream." But Brer Bear ain't going to give up that away. He done made thear'rangement for to call Brer Rabbit when the man come back, and he went up on top of the hill and holler for him. I tell you now, it weren't long before Brer Rabbit hove in sight. He come a-hopping and a-jumping, he come a-ripping and a-rearing. 

Brer Bear allow, says he, "If you know'd what you got to do, I lay you wouldn't be in such a hurry." Then he up and tell Brer Rabbit the whole circumstance of the case. Brer Rabbit laugh, but Brer Bear he look sollemncoly. Brer Rabbit took and told Brer Bear for to get two bunches of grass and put 'em there front of the mares. Brer Bear do just like Brer Rabbit tell him, and then the mares set in to eating'; but one of 'em eat her bunch first, and start to eating on the other bunch. Then the mare what was eating on that bunch held up her head. Brer Rabbit allow, says he, "Dat one what holding up her head, she the mammy."

The man he give up. He say that beat his chime, and then he ask Brer Rabbit how can he tell. Brer Rabbit allow, says he, "The colt, being as she is the youngest, is got the best toothies. The best toothies eat the grass first. Then when the mammy see the colt ain't got none, she willing to divide with her. If the mammy had made at the colt's bundle, the colt'd surely have bit at her."

The man look astonish, but he ain't satisfied. He give Brer Bear the pot of honey, but he say he got an nother pot, and he willing to bet that he can fool Brer Rabbit next time. Brer Bear took the bet. Then the man left his horses there, and took a little basket and went off in the woods. He was gone a right smart little while, but by and by, here he come back. He held the basket high, so Brer Rabbit can't see the inside, and then he hung it on a tree limb. Then he ask Brer Rabbit what the basket got in it. 

Brer Rabbit study, and then he allow, says he, "The sparrow can tell you."

The man look at him hard, and then he say, says he, "What kind of critter is you, nohow?" He took the basket down, he did, and sure enough, there was a sparrow in it. He give Brer Bear the other pot, and as he was going, he holler back at Brer Rabbit, says he, "You of one of these here graveyard rabbits, that what you is." Brer Rabbit laugh, but he ain't say nothing. He just dip his paw in the pot of honey and lick it off, and he work his mouth like it taste mighty good. 

When the man ask Brer Rabbit, "What in dar?" he make answer that a sparrow can tell him, 'cause a sparrow flying 'round can see what in the basket. Luck told him; Brer Rabbit was a mighty man for luck. 

C125. Why Brother Wolf Didn't Eat the Little Rabbits

6: Why Brother Wolf Didn't Eat the Little Rabbits. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Well, old Brer Wolf want to eat the little Rabs all the time, but there was one time in particular that they make his mouth water, and that was the time when him and Brer Fox was visiting at Brer Rabbit's house. The times was hard, but the little Rabs was slick and fat, and just as frisky as kittens. Old Brer Rabbit was off somewheres, and Brer Wolf and Brer Fox was waiting for him. The little Rabs was playing 'round, and though they was little they kept their ears open. Brer Wolf look at 'em out of the corner of his eyes, and lick his chops and wink at Brer Fox, and Brer Fox wunk back at him. Brer Wolf cross his legs, and then Brer Fox cross his. The little Rabs, they frisk and they frolic.

Brer Wolf hold his head towards 'em and allow, "They are mighty fat." 

Brer Fox grin, and say, "Man, hush yo' mouth!" 

The little Rabs frisk and frolic, and play further off, but they keep their ears primed. 

Brer Wolf look at 'em and allow, "Ain't they slick and pretty?" 

Brer Fox chuckle, and say, "Oh, I wish you'd hush!" 

De little Rabs play off further and further, but they keep their ears open. 

Brer Wolf smack his mouth and allow, "They are juicy and tender." 

Brer Fox roll his eye and say, "Man, ain't you goin' to hush up, 'fore you give me the fidgets?"

The little Rabs they frisk and they frolic, but they hear everything that pass. 

Brer Wolf lick out his tongue quick, and allow, "Let's us whirl in and eat 'em." 

Brer Fox say, "Man, you make me hungry! Please hush up!" 

The little Rabs play off further and further, but they know exactly what going on. They frisk and they frolic, but they got their ears wide open. 

Then Brer Wolf make a bargain with Brer Fox that when Brer Rabbit get home, one of 'em would get him wrapped up in a dispute about first one thing and then another, whiles the other one would go out and catch the little Rabs. 

Brer Fox allow, "You better do the talkin', Brer Wolf, and lemme coax the little Rabs off. I got more winnin' ways with chilluns than what you is." 

Brer Wolf say, "You can't make gourd out of pumpkin, Brer Fox. I ain't no talker. Yo' tongue lots slicker than mine. I can bite lots better than I can talk. Them little Rabs don't want no coaxin'; they wants catchin' — that what they wants. You keep old Brer Rabbit busy, and I'll tend to the little Rabs." 

Both of 'em know'd that whichever caught the little Rabs, the other one ain't going smell hide nor hair of 'em, and they flew up and got to disputing, and whiles they was disputing and going on that away, the little Rabs put off down the road — hlickety-blickety — for to meet their daddy. 'Cause they know'd if they stayed there they'd get in big trouble. 

They went off down the road, the little Rabs did, and they ain't gone, so mighty fur before they meet their daddy coming long home. He had his walking cane in one hand and a jug in the other, and he look as big as life, and twice as natural. 

The little Rabs run towards him and holler, "What you got, daddy? What you got, daddy?" 

Brer Rabbit say, "Nothing but a jug of molasses." 

The little Rabs holler, "Lemme taste, daddy! Lemme taste, daddy!"

(image source)

Then old Brer Rabbit set the jug down in the road and let 'em lick the stopper a time or two, and after they done get their wind back, they up and tell him about the agreement that Brer Wolf and Brer Fox done make, and about the dispute what they had. Old Brer Rabbit sort of laugh to hisself, and then he pick up his jug and jog on towards home. When he get most there he stop and tell the little Rabs for stay back there out of sight, and wait till he call 'em before they come. They was mighty glad to do just like this, 'cause they'd done seed Brer Wolf tooths, and Brer Fox red tongue, and they huddle up in the broom-sage as still as a mouse in the flour barrel. 

Brer Rabbit went on home, and sure enough, he find Brer Wolf and Brer Fox waiting for him. They'd done settle their dispute, and they was sitting there just as smiling as a basket of chips. They pass the time of day with Brer Rabbit, and then they ask him what he got in the jug. Brer Rabbit hummed and hawed, and looked sort of solemn. 

Brer Wolf look like he was pleased to find out what was in the jug, and he keep a pestering Brer Rabbit about it; but Brer Rabbit just shake his head and look solemn, and talk about the weather and the crops, and one thing and another. By and by Brer Fox make out he was going after a drink of water, and he slip out, he did, for to catch the little Rabs. Time he get out the house, Brer Rabbit look all 'round to see if he listening, and then he went to the jug and pull out the stopper. 

He hand it to Brer Wolf and say, "Taste that." 

Brer Wolf taste the molasses, and smack his mouth. He allow, "What kind of truck that? It sure is good." 

Brer Rabbit get up close to Brer Wolf and say, "Don't tell nobody. It's Fox-blood." 

Brer Wolf look astonished. He allow, "How you know?" 

Brer Rabbit say, "I knows what I knows!" 

Brer Wolf say, "Gimme some more!" 

Brer Rabbit say, "You can get some more for yo'self easy enough, and the fresher it is, the better." 

Brer Wolf allow, "How you know?" 

Brer Rabbit say, "I knows what I knows!" 

With that Brer Wolf stepped out, and start towards Brer Fox. Brer Fox seed him coming, and he sort of back off. Brer Wolf got little closer, and by and by he make a dash at Brer Fox. Brer Fox dodge, he did, and then he put out for the woods with Brer Wolf right at his heels. 

Then after so long a time, after Brer Rabbit got done laughin', he call up the little Rabs, give 'em some molasses for supper, and spanked 'em and sent 'em to bed. He spanked 'em to make 'em grow, just to make 'em grow. Young critters is got to have their hide loosened that way. As for Brer Wolf and Brer Fox, how I know what happened? Much as I can do to follow the tale when it keeps in the big road, let alone to keep up with them critters whiles they gone sailing through the woods. The tale ain't pursue on after them no further than the place where they make their disappearance.

C128. Brother Fox Still in Trouble

9: Brother Fox Still in Trouble. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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I ain't done with that fuss 'twixt Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox. Now, then,  what do Brer Rabbit do after he scorch Brer Fox? Do he go off somewheres and set down and mope, 'cause Brer Fox rushed out from under de burning straw? If you think he gonna do that away, you mighty much mistaken. He just as restless as he ever is been. He move about and he work his mind, he jump 'round and study.

He got him a string of red pepper, and he stewed it down with some hog fat and mutton suet. Then he pick out the pepper, and when the fat and the suet get cold he took and spread the salve on a long piece of rag. He took this rag, he did, and put it in his wallet, and then he got down his walking cane, and went down the road towards the place where Brer Fox live at. He ain't gone so mighty far 'fore he see Brer Fox setting down nursing hisself. Time he see him Brer Rabbit begun to holler, "Nyam! Nyam! Ointment for swellings! Salve for burns and blisters! Nyam! Nyam!"

He kept a-hollering this away just loud as he can. He hold his head up like he ain't see Brer Fox, and he was going on by, but Brer Fox call him. Brer Rabbit look at him, but he ain't stop. Then Brer Fox call him again. Then Brer Rabbit stop and look mighty hard.

He holler back, "What you want 'long of me? If it weren't 'cause you got the impudence of Old Scratch hisself, you wouldn't dare to have the face to hail me whiles I going 'long 'tending to my own business. Talk quick! I ain't got no time for to fool with yo' sort!"

Den Brer Fox ask him what he so mighty mad about, and Brer Rabbit allow, "Look how you done me about that hay. Ain't you say you goin' to fetch it on top of the hill for me?"

Brer Fox look astonished. He say, "Name of goodness, Brer Rabbit! You see with yo' own eyes what the reason I can't fetch it up there. Look at my back, what got a blister on it from the top of my head plumb to the end of my tail! I just like to see the man what can tote grass when she get that hot."

Brer Rabbit look at Brer Fox back, and he make a great admiration. He allow, "She sure was hot, Brer Fox, and you got the marks of it. I just took a notion you was playing off one of yo' pranks on me, and my feelin's was hurted."

Brer Fox say, "I hear you goin' on by hollerin' 'bout some kind of ointment of or other what'll pacify burns, an' that what make I holler at you."

With that Brer Rabbit went down in his wallet and fetch out the red-pepper salve, and say to Brer Fox that he must get his old woman for to spread the plaster on the place just soon as he can. Brer Fox took it and wobble off home just fast as he can. Brer Rabbit, he follow along out of sight, and hide in the bushes where he can see and hear what going on. 

Well, sir, it weren't long 'fore Brer Rabbit hear Brer Fox fetch a squall, and he shot out of the house, and in about seven jumps he landed in the creek, though the creek was more than a half mile off.

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Foxes is scared of water, same as cats, but that there fox, he just roll and wallow in the water. Brer Rabbit still follow after, and when he get where he can see Brer Fox, he just sat down and hold his hands on his side for to keep from busting the buttons off of his waistcoat with laughing. 

By and by he holler out, 'Gracious goodness, Brer Fox! What the matter? Is that the way you goes a-fishin'?'

Brer Fox say, "I'm ruined, Brer Rabbit! You done ruined me! That there stuff you give me is right rank poison!"

Brer Rabbit open his wallet, and look in it. Then he allow, "Surely I ain't given you the wrong physic! Lordy! Yes I is! 'Stead of the nyam-nyam ointment, I done gone and give you the nyip-nyip plaster. I believe in my soul I'm a-losing my seven senses!"

Then he sort of fell back in the bushes and like to kill hisself laughing. If old Brer Fox could've seed Brer Rabbit rolling about in the leaves and making the trash fly, he'd've made sure that he done gone and got some of the nyip-nyip plaster on hisself. 

Well, then, after so long a time, Brer Fox got well of the burn and the blister, and he went on about his business same as any other critter. He was going 'long by the river bank one day, and he hear a mighty hammering not far off, and he say to hisself that he believe he'll go see what all the fuss was about. He went 'long, he did, en, bless gracious! Who should he see but Brer Babbit with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up, hammering and nailing; and nailing and hammering. 

Brer Fox allow, "What you doin' there, Brer Rabbit?"

Brer Rabbit say, "Just making' a boat, Brer Fox."

Brer Fox allow, "What you want with a boat, Brer Rabbit?"

Brer Rabbit say, "To go to my fish-traps in."

Brer Fox look 'round, and see planks and scantlings a-lying 'round, and he make up his mind that he ain't going to go to all that trouble just for the sake of one little boat. So he set on the bank and fight sandflies and mosquitoes, and watch Brer Rabbit make his boat. And he ain't had to wait long neither, 'cause Brer Rabbit, though he was light in the body, was mighty handy, and he got his boat ready in a little or no time. Then he got in it and paddle up the river, and it weren't long 'fore here he come back with a long string of fish. 

This make Brer Fox dribble at the mouth, 'cause if there's any kind of vittles what he like more than any other kind, it's fish. So he make up his mind that he pleased to have a boat. Then he ask Brer Rabbit if a mud boat won't do just good as any other kind, and Brer Rabbit make answer that while mud boats might suit some folks, they don't suit him. 

Brer Fox ain't got the knack of making plank boats, and so he say to hisself that he going to show Brer Rabbit that some folks know a thing of two as well as itger folks. With dat, he whirl in, and make him a boat out of clay, and when it done got dry in the sun, he shove it out in the water and jump in with his paddle. 

Brer Rabbit was there with his plank boat, for to see it well done, and when Brer Fox start, he start too. Well, sir, it's just like I tell you! Brer Fox ain't hit many licks with his paddle 'fore the mud begun to melt; the boat went down, and there was old Brer Fox a-scuffling in the water. After so long a time he got back to the bank, but I let you know he ain't make no more boats, neither mud boats nor plank boats.

C130. Why Brother Bull Growls and Grumbles

11: Why Brother Bull Growls and Grumbles. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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That put me in mind of the time when old Brer Bull change hisself into a man and went 'round courting. Whiles he was going on this a-way, he come 'cross a woman which he like her looks mighty well, and seem like she like him.

Well, sir, Brer Bull, he'd graze 'round in the pasture all night, and in the daytime he'd turn to be a man and call on the woman, and cast sheep-eyes at her, and tell her right point-blank how pretty she is. It kept on this away till by and by the woman got so she can't do nothing at all without running over in her mind 'bout this here nice man what coming courting. She can't scarcely cook dinner. She'd lift the ladle for to stir the pot, and hold it in the air a minute, and then — belingy-bang-dang ! — it'd drop on the floor. She can't keep away from the looking-glass, a-brushing her hair and plastering down her beau-catchers.

Now, then, there was a little boy living there with the woman. He was sharp as a bamboo brier, and his foot was light and quick as old Brer Rabbit hisself. He watch mighty close. He notice that when the man was courting, there weren't no Brer Bull in the pasture, and when there weren't no man a-courting, there was Brer Bull grazing 'round. He got behind a persimmon tree, the little boy did, and watch how Brer Bull change hisself. He watch, and he see Brer Bull sit down on his hunkers just like a dog. Then he'd shake his head and say, "Ballyhaloo-bill!" With that his horns'd shrink, and his tail'd shrivel, and most 'fore you can bat your eye there he'd stand changed into a man. Then the little boy'd slip back to the house, and pick up chips for to put on the oven-lid to bake bread.

By and by the little boy got so uneasy that he don't eat much. He was scared the woman going to marry Brer Bull. And sure enough, that just exactly what the woman laid off to do. When the boy see that, he just up and tell the woman all about it, but instead of believing him, she got mad, and come mighty nigh snatching him bald-headed. But the boy, he watch, and keep on watching, and by and by he hear what the man say when he change back into Brer Bull.

So, one day, whiles the man eating dinner at the woman house, the boy hand 'round the vittles, and when he come to the man, he say, "Billybaloo-bal!"

(image source)

The man looked scared and put his hands up to his head, but it ain't do no good; he horns done begun to grow, and hoofs come out on his hands and foots, and the clothes drop off, and most 'fore the man can get out of the door, he done change into Brer Bull, and he curl his tail top of his back and rush out to the pasture.

Well, the woman make humble apology to the boy, but he rub hisself in the neighborhoods of the coat-tails where she spank him. I been living 'round here a mighty long time, but I ain't never see no apology what was poultice or plaster enough for to assuage a swelling or cure a bruise. 

That boy was name Simmy-Sam, and he was more sharper than what folks took him to be. His common sense done tell him that after he make that exposure 'bout Brer Bull he'd have to keep his weather eye open. So he slip off to where his mammy live at, and she give him a little bundle of flapjacks, and told him to go back and 'tend to his business, and keep out of Brer Bull's way.

Old Brer Bull was grazing in the pasture just like nothing ain't happen, but he keep on the watch. When he'd see Simmy-Sam anywheres out of the yard, Brer Bull'd sort of feed towards him, but Simmy-Sam weren't taking no chances, and he kept close to cover. 

But critters is more patient-like than what folks is, and by and by it got so that Simmy-Sam'd go further and further from the house, and one day the woman sent him out in the woods after some pine kindling, and he got to playing and fooling 'round. You know how chillun is, and how they will do: well, that just the way Simmy-Sam done. He just frolicked 'round out there in the brush, till by and by he hear old Brer Bull come a-ripping and a-snorting through the woods! It about looked like his time was up.

Well, sir, there was Simmy-Sam, yonder was a tree, and here come Brer Bull. Now, in a case of that kind, what Simmy-Sam going do? 'Fore you can ask the question, he just shinned up the tree like one of these here rusty-back lizards. Brer Bull come up and hit the tree with his horns — kerblip! But it ain't do no good. He walk 'round and switch his tail and shake his head, but Simmy-Sam just laugh at him. Brer Bull back, he did, and hit the tree with his horns — kerblam! It ain't do no good.

He kept on this away till he got plumb tired, and then he stop to rest. After he got his wind back, he sat down, he did, and change hisself into a man, and the man had a axe. Then Simmy-Sam get scared, 'cause he know that when the axe start to talk, that tree got to come down. The man look up, and sort of grin.

He allow, "I got you, is I?"

Simmy-Sam say, "Yes, sir, 'spect you is."

Man allow, "You better come down an' save me the trouble of cuttin' down the tree."

Simmy-Sam say, "I scared."

Man allow, "Scared or no scared, you better come down."

Simmy-Sam say, "Cut some first, an' lemme see how it feel."

With that, the man let in to cutting hard as he can — blap! blip! blip! blap! 'Bout that time, Simmy-Sam, whiles he was feeling in his pocket for his handkerchief so he can wipe the water out of his eyes, come 'cross the little bundle of flapjacks what his mammy give him. He unroll the bundle, and there was three of 'em in there. He took one of 'em, he did, and drop it down on the man, and one of the man's arms fall off. The man ain't wait to put the arm back on; he just took the ax in one hand and kept on chopping hard as he can.

Simmy-Sam see this, and he make haste and drop another flapjack. It no sooner drop than the man's other arm fall off. There he was — ain't got no arms, and can't do no cutting. Look like nobody can be scared of him when he in that kind of fix. But Simmy-Sam feared the man can run at him and fall top of him. So then, to make sure, he dropped the last flapjack, and the man head fell off. With that, Simmy-Sam climb down the tree, and took his foot in his hand and put out for home. (When anybody run fast, they say he done took his foot in his hand.)

'Course it weren't no man. Old Brer Bull had just change hisself into a man, and how can it be a sure enough man? After Simmy-Sam done got out of sight, Brer Bull got his man parts together just like a jointed snake does, and then he change hisself back to his own self, and he done stay that away, 'cause he feared that some little chap or another will come 'long and fling a battercake at him.

And more than that, he been going 'long from that day to this, holding his head down and growling and grumbling like something or other done hurted his feelings. And if you'll notice right close, he don't like for no youngsters for to come fooling 'round where he stay at.

C132. Brother Rabbit Frightens Brother Tiger

13: Brother Rabbit Frightens Brother Tiger. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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It ain't the biggest and the strongest that does the mostest in this world. Don't let nobody fool you about that. The cockle-burr got neither life nor limb, yet when it get in the sheep wool it can travel fast as the sheep. The elephant may be strong; I expect he is; and the tiger maybe servigorous as they say he is; but Brer Rabbit done outdone both of 'em.

One time, whiles Brer Rabbit was going along through the woods, he struck up with Brer Tiger. Brer Rabbit struck up with Brer Tiger, he did, and after they passed the time of day, they went ambling along together. Brer Rabbit talk so big and walk so uppity that Brer Tiger look at 'im sideways and grin. 

By and by they come to where there was a creek, and there weren't no foot-log in sight. Brer Tiger ain't want to wet his feet no more than a cat do, and neither do Brer Rabbit, and so they went up the creek hunting for a foot-log. They go, and go, but they ain't find none.

By and by Brer Rabbit allow he know how to cross. Brer Tiger ask 'im how. Then Brer Rabbit grab a grape-vine hanging from the tree limb, and took a running start and swung hisself on the other side. When he turn the vine loose, it flew back to where Brer Tiger was, and Brer Tiger he caught hold and made for to swing hisself across. Time he done left the ground good, the vine broke, and he come down on his back in the creek, kersplash!

Course this make 'im feel bad, and when he crawled out and shook hisself, and see Brer Rabbit sitting up there, dry and clean, a-laughing fit to kill, it make 'im feel worse. He fetched a growl or two, and popped his mouth together, but Brer Rabbit kept one eye on 'im.

Brer Tiger allow, 'How come you ain't scared of me, Brer Rabbit? All the other critters run when they hear me coming."

Brer Rabbit say, "How come the fleas on you ain't scared of you? They of lots littler than what I is."

Brer Tiger allow, "It's mighty good for you that I done had my dinner, 'cause if I'd a-been hungry I'd a-snapped you up back there at the creek."

Brer Rabbit say, "If you'd done dat, you'd've had more sense in yo' hide than what you got now."

Brer Tiger allow, "I going to let you off this time, but next time I see you, watch out!"

Brer Rabbit say, "Being's you so monstrous polite, I'll let you off too, but keep yo' eye open next time you see me, 'cause I'll get you sure."

(image source)

Brer Rabbit talk so biggity that Brer Tiger put on his studying cap, and he make up his mind that there ain't room 'nough in that county for both him and Brer Rabbit. Brer Tiger turn 'round, he did, and watch Brer Rabbit go tipping off, and he look so little and so sassy that it make Brer Tiger mad. It make 'im so mad that he caught hold of a tree and clawed most all the bark off of it. Bless gracious! The further he get from Brer Rabbit, the more madder he got. He just declare that the next time he strike up with Brer Rabbit he going to gobble 'im up without saying grace.

So, then, there it was, Brer Tiger against Brer Rabbit, and Brer Rabbit against Brer Tiger: one big, and the other one little; one servigorous from the word go, and the other one got neither tooth nor claw. It look mighty bad for Brer Rabbit! Well, I wish to goodness you could've seed 'im about that time. He went along through the woods as gay as a colt in a barley-patch. He wunk at the trees, he shook his fisties at the stumps, he make like he was quarreling with his shadow 'cause it follow along after 'im so close; and he went on scandalous, man! 

Brer Rabbit ain't gone so mighty fare 'fore he hear a big noise in the bushes, and lo and beholds, there was old Brer Elephant tramping 'round and thrashing out the tops of the saplings. He look big as a young house, but, bless your soul! That ain't set Brer Rabbit back none. He just march up and ask old Brer Elephant how he come on, and one word led to another, till Brer Rabbit up and tell old Brer Elephant all about the confab what he been had with Brer Tiger. Then he allow that if old Brer Elephant will loan 'im a helping hand they can drive Brer Tiger bodaciously out of the county. 

Old Brer Elephant flop his ears and shake his snout like he sort of dubious. He allow, "I ain't going to get hurted, is I, Brer Rabbit?"

This make Brer Rabbit roll his eyes and study. He ask, "Who the name of goodness gonna hurt you, Brer Elephant?"

Brer Elephant allow, "Brer Tiger got sharp claws and long tooths. I scared he bite me and scratch me."

Brer Rabbit say, "According to that I ought to be scared of a flea, 'cause just as I can squish a flea, just that away you can squish Brer Tiger. Yet they ain't going be no squishing done. If you'll do what I tell you, we'll just take and run Brer Tiger out of the county. Goodness knows, if my upper lip was long and limber like your own, I bound I'd've done got rid of Brer Tiger long 'fore now!"

Brer Elephant, he agree to do what Brer Rabbit say, but he flop his ears and work his snout like he mighty restless in the mind, and Brer Rabbit help 'im up the best way he can with biggity talk.

Soon next morning Brer Rabbit was up and a-moving. He done had everything fix, and he sat 'round in the bushes where he can see Brer Tiger long ways off. By and by he see Brer Tiger come sidling down the path, and no sooner is Brer Rabbit seed 'im than he make a break and run to where Brer Elephant standing. Then Brer Rabbit took and wrap a long vine 'round one of old Brer Elephant's behind legs, and then 'round a tree. He fix it so that anybody passing along would make sure the leg tied hard and fast. Then old Brer Elephant kneel down, and Brer Rabbit took a running start and light up on his back. 

They done had all the arrangements made, and when Brer Tiger come along, he seed a sight that make 'im open his eyes. There was Brer Rabbit on top of old Brer Elephant back, and there was old Brer Elephant with his behind leg tied to the tree, a-swinging backwards and forwards, and a-rocking from side to side.

Brer Tiger look at 'em a little while, and the notion strike 'im that Brer Rabbit was caught up there and can't get down. This make Brer Tiger laugh till he show all his tooths. He walk 'round, he did, and feel so good he rub hisself against the saplings just like you seen cats rub up against chair-legs. Then he sat down flat of the ground and grin at Brer Rabbit, and lick his chops. Old Brer Elephant swing backwards and forwards, and rock from side to side.

Brer Tiger allow, "I told you I'd get you, Brer Rabbit, and now I done come after you."

Brer Elephant swing backwards and forwards, and rock from side to side.

Brer Rabbit say, "You done come, is you? Well, just wait a minute till I get through skinning this critter what I just caught. Stay there till I get good and ready for you."

Den Brer Rabbit dip down his head by old Brer Elephant's ear and whisper, "Squall when I put my nose on yo' neck. Don't be scared. Just squall."

Then old Brer Elephant squeal through that snout of his'n; you might've heared 'im a mile or more.

Brer Rabbit holler out, "Just wait, Brer Tiger. Yo' turn'll come directly. It'll go mighty hard with you if I have to run after you."

Old Brer Elephant swing backwards and forwards, and rock from side to side. Every time Brer Rabbit'd nibble behind his ears, he'd squall out and trample the ground.

When he first seed Brer Rabbit up there on old Brer Elephant's back, Brer Tiger sort of sat hisself on the ground for to make a jump at 'im, but time he see how old Brer Elephant hollering and prancing, Brer Tiger rise and begin to back off. A hickory nut fell off of a tree and hit the ground, and Brer Tiger jump like somebody shot at 'im. 

When Brer Rabbit see this, it tickle 'im so that he come mighty nigh laughing out loud. But he dip his head down, and make like he gnawing old Brer Elephant on the neck, and old Brer Elephant, he squall loud as he can. Brer Rabbit prance up and down on Brer Elephant back like he hunting for a more tender place, and holler out, "Don't go 'way, Brer Tiger. Just wait; I'll be ready for you directly."

Brer Tiger he back off, and Brer Elephant swing backwards and forwards, and rock from side to side, and squeal through his snout.

Brer Rabbit holler out, 'No use to get weak-kneed, Brer Tiger. Give me time. This Elephant blood taste salty. It make me dry. You won't have long to wait."

Brer Tiger, he back off and back off. Brer Rabbit, he make out he biting old Brer Elephant on the ear. Old Brer Elephant swing backwards and forwards, and rock from side to side, and snort and trample the grass.

About that time Brer Rabbit make like he going to come down. He make like he hunting for a safe place to jump, and when Brer Tiger see that, he made a break and just fell over hisself trying to get out of reach. Brer Rabbit holler at 'im, but he ain't stop; he just keep a-running, and it was many a long day 'fore the critters seed 'im back there in that settlement.

C135. Brer Rabbit's Money Mint

16: Brother Rabbit's Money Mint. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a time when Brer Fox went hunting the place where they make money. Brer Fox meet up with Brer Rabbit in the big road, and they pass the time of day, and ask one another how their family connection is. Brer Fox say he sort of middling pert, and Brer Rabbit say he sort of betwixt "My gracious!" and "Thank gracious!"

Whiles they are running on and confabbing, Brer Fox hear something rattling in Brer Rabbit's pocket. He allow, "If I ain't mighty much mistaken, Brer Rabbit, I hear money rattling." 

Brer Rabbit sort of grin slow and hold his head careless. He say, "It ain't nothing much — just some small change what I pleased to take with me in the case of neccessity." 

With dat he drawed out a big handful of specie-dollars, and quarters, and sevenpences, and thrips, and all right spang-bang new. It shined in the sun till it fair blind your eyes. 

Brer Fox allow, "Lords-a-mercy, Brer Rabbit! I ain't seed so much money since I sold my watermelons last year. Ain't you scared someone'll fling you down and take it away from you?"

Brer Rabbit say, "Them what man 'nough to take it can have it;'"and he just strut along the road there more samer than one of these here military mens what got yellow stripes on their britches.

Brer Fox allow, "Where the name of goodness you get so much new specie, Brer Rabbit?"

Brer Rabbit say, "I get it where they make it at; that where I get it." 

Brer Fox stop by the side of the road, and look astonish. He allow, "Whereabouts does they make this here specie at?"

Brer Rabbit say, "First in one place and then in another. You got to do like me, Brer Fox; you got to keep your eye wide open." 

Brer Fox allow, "For mercy sake, Brer Rabbit, tell me how I going to find the place." 

He beg and he beg, Brer Fox did, and Brer Rabbit look at 'im hard, like he got some doubts on his mind. Then Brer Rabbit sat down by the side of the road and mark in the sand with his walking cane. 

By and by he say, "Well, supposing I tell you, you'll go blabbing it 'round the whole neighborhoods, and then they'll get it all, and we won't get none at all." 

But Brer Fox just vow and declare to gracious that he won't tell a living soul, and then old Brer Rabbit sort of bent hisself back and clear up his throat. He say, "It ain't much after you find it out, Brer Fox; all you got to do is to watch the road till you see a wagon come along. If you'll look right close, you'll see that the wagon, if it's the right kind of wagon, is got two front wheels and two behind wheels; and you'll see furthermore that the front wheels is lots littler than the behind wheels. Now, when you see that, what is you pleased to believe?"

(image source)

Brer Fox study little while, and then shook his head. He allow, "You too much for me, Brer Rabbit." 

Brer Rabbit look like he feel sorry 'cause Brer Fox such a numskull. He say, "When you see that, you pleased to believe that after so long a time the big wheel going to catch the little one. Your common sense ought to tell you that." 

Brer Fox allow, "It surely look so." 

Brer Rabbit say, "If you know that the big wheel going to catch the little wheel, and that brand new money going to drop from 'twixt 'em when they grind up against one another, what you going do then?"

Still Brer Fox study, and shake his head. Brer Rabbit look like he getting sick. He say, "You can sit down and let the wagon go on by, if you don't want no brand new money. Then again, if you want the money, you can follow along and keep watch, and see when the behind wheels overtake the front ones and be on hand when the money starts to dropping."

Brer Fox look like he got the idea. He sort of laugh. 

Brer Rabbit say, "Next time you see a wagon going by, Brer Fox, just holler for me if you don't want to take no chances. just bawl out! I ain't got 'nough specie, and I ain't going to have 'nough." 

Brer Fox, he broke off a broom straw and begun to chew on it, and just about that time, they hear a wagon coming 'cross the hill. 

Brer Rabbit allow, "Just say the word, Brer Fox, and if you ain't going along after the wagon, I'll go myself!"

Brer Fox say, "Maybe the wheels done grinded together back yonder a piece." 

Brer Rabbit allow, "I ain't got time to dispute, Brer Fox. If you ain't going, just say the word!"

Brer Fox sort of laugh like he shamed. He say, "I believe I'll go a little piece of the way and see how the wheels run." 

With that, Brer Rabbit wish Brer Fox good luck, and went on about his business. Yet he ain't go so far that he can't watch Brer Fox's motions. At the rise of the next hill he look back, and there he see Brer Fox trotting along after the wagon. When he see that, Brer Rabbit just lay down in the grass and kick up his heels and holler.

Brer Fox he just follow along, trotting and galloping, waiting for the wheels to catch up with one another. If he ain't in Mississippi by this time, I'm mighty much mistaken.