C086. Rabbit and Mister Man's Money

52. Brother Rabbit Outdoes Mr. Man. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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RABBIT AND MISTER MAN'S MONEY

This here was the time when old Brer Rabbit was going 'long the big road, and he meet Mr. Man driving 'long with a wagon chock full of money.

Brer Rabbit, he come a-lippity-clippiting 'long the big road, and he ain't got no wagon full of money. Old Brer Rabbit, he up and took a notion that there's something wrong somewheres, 'cause if there weren't, he'd have just as much wagon and money as Mr. Man. He study, and study, and he can't make out how that is. By and by he up and holler out, "Mr. Man, please, sir, lemme ride."

Mr. Man, he took and stop he wagon, and allow, "Heyo, Brer Rabbit! How come dis? You coming one way and I going another; how come you want to ride?"

Brer Rabbit, he up and scratch hisself on the back of the neck with he behind foot, and holler out, "Mr. Man, you surely can't be acquainted 'long with me. I'm one of them there old-time kind of folks what ain't a-caring which way they're going long as they're riding."

After so long a time, Mr. Man agree to let Brer Rabbit ride a little piece. He try to get Brer Rabbit for to ride upon the seat with 'im so they can get to disputing one another, but Brer Rabbit say he feared he fall off, and he just took and sat right flat down in the bottom of the wagon, and make like he feared to move.

By and by, whiles they going down hill, and Mr. Man had to keep he eye on the horses, Brer Rabbit he took and fling out a great big hunk of the money. Just as the money hit the ground Brer Rabbit holler out, "Ow!"

Mr. Man look 'round and ask what the matter. Brer Rabbit allow, "Nothing at all, Mr. Man, excepting you about to jolt my jaw-bone a-loose."

They go on little further, and Brer Rabbit fling out another hunk of the money. When she hit the ground, Brer Rabbit holler, "Blam!"

Mr. Man look 'round and ask what the matter. Brer Rabbit allow, "Nothing at all, Mr. Man, excepting I seed a jaybird flying along, and I make like I had a gun."

It keep on this a-way till first news you know Mr. Man ain't got a sign of money in that wagon. Seem like Mr. Man ain't notice this till he get a mighty far ways from the place where Brer Rabbit drop out the last hunk; but, gentlemens! When he do find it out, you better believe he set up a howl.

"Where my money? Where my nice money? Where my wagon full of pretty money? Oh you long-eared rascal! Where my money? Oh, gimme my money!"

Brer Rabbit sat there and listen at 'im like he astonished. Then he up and allow, "Look out, Mr. Man! Folks'll come 'long and hear you going on that a-way, and they'll go off and say you done gone raving distracted."

Yet Mr. Man keep on hollering and begging Brer Rabbit for to give 'im the money, and by and by Brer Rabbit, he get sort of scared and he up and allow, "Sun getting low, Mr. Man, and I better be getting 'way from here. The sooner I goes the better, 'cause if you keep on like you going, it won't be long 'fore you'll be 'cusing me of taking that there money. I'm obliged for the ride, Mr. Man, and I wish you mighty well."

Brer Rabbit got the money, and it's mighty curious to me that he ain't get the wagon and horses. That it is!"

C086. Baer (p. 97). Brother Rabbit Outdoes Mr. Man

This is Chase086.

Types ATU0001 Theft of Fish
Motifs
K0371.1 trickster throws fish off wagon
Notes
Baer: "It would be impossible to say at what time and from what source this tale entered the Afro-American tradition. The version Harris collected is very American, involving money and Rabbit as a smooth-talking con man."

C086. Rabbit and Mister Man's Money (original spelling)

52. Brother Rabbit Outdoes Mr. Man. Text Source: Nights with Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. You can click here for the standardized spelling plus all notes to the story.

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The little boy had heard Uncle Remus lamenting that his candle was getting rather short, and he made it his business to go around the house and gather all the pieces he could find. He carried these to the old man, who received them with the liveliest satisfaction.

"Now dish yer sorter look lak sump'n', honey. W'en [307]ole Brer Jack come back, en Sis Tempy git in de habits er hangin' 'roun', we'll des light some er dese yer, en folks'll come by en see de shine, en dey'll go off en 'low dat hit 's de night des 'fo' camp-meetin' at ole Remus house.

"I got little piece dar in my chist w'at you brung me long time ergo, en I 'low ter myse'f dat ef shove ever git ter be push,[66] I'd des draw 'er out en light 'er up."

"Mamma says Daddy Jack is coming back Sunday," said the little boy.

"Dat w'at I year talk," replied the old man.

"What did he go off for, Uncle Remus?"

"Bless yo' soul, honey! Brer Jack bleedz ter go en see yo' Unk Jeems. He b'leeve de worl' go wrong ef he aint do dat. Dat ole nigger b'leeve he white mon. He come up yer fum down de country whar de Lord done fersook um too long 'go ter talk 'bout,—he come up yer en he put on mo' a'rs dan w'at I dast ter do. Not dat I'm keerin', 'kaze goodness knows I aint, yit I notices dat w'en I has ter go some'rs, dey's allers a great ter-do 'bout w'at is I'm a-gwine fer, en how long is I'm a-gwine ter stay; en ef I aint back at de ve'y minit, dars Mars John a-growlin', en Miss Sally a-vowin' dat she gwine ter put me on de block."[67]

Perhaps Uncle Remus's jealousy was more substantial than he was willing to admit; but he was talking merely to see what the little boy would say. The child, however, [308]failed to appreciate the situation, seeing which the old man quickly changed the subject.

"Times is mighty diffunt fum w'at dey use ter wuz, 'kaze de time has bin dat ef ole Brer Rabbit had er run'd up wid Brer Jack w'iles he comin' fum yo' Unk Jeems place, he'd outdone 'im des ez sho' ez de worl' stan's. Deze days de Rabbits has ter keep out de way er folks, but in dem days folks had ter keep out der way er ole Brer Rabbit. Aint I never tell you 'bout how Brer Rabbit whirl in en outdo Mr. Man?"

"About the meat tied to the string, Uncle Remus?"

"Shoo! Dat aint a drap in de bucket, honey. Dish yer wuz de time w'en ole Brer Rabbit wuz gwine 'long de big road, en he meet Mr. Man drivin' 'long wid a waggin chock full er money."

"Where did he get so much money, Uncle Remus?"

"Bruisin' 'round en peddlin' 'bout. Mr. Man got w'at lots er folks aint got,—good luck, long head, quick eye, en slick fingers. But no marter 'bout dat, he got de money; en w'en you sorter grow up so you kin knock 'roun', 't won't be long 'fo' some un'll take en take you off 'roun' de cornder en tell you dat 't aint make no diffunce whar de money come fum so de man got it. Dey won't tell you dat in de meeting-house, but dey'll come mighty nigh it.

"But dat aint needer yer ner dar. Mr. Man, he come a-drivin' 'long de big road, en he got a waggin full er money. Brer Rabbit, he come a-lippity-clippitin' 'long de big road, en he aint got no waggin full er money. Ole Brer Rabbit, he up'n tuck a notion dat dey's sump'n' [309]wrong some'rs, 'kaze ef dey wa'n't, he 'ud have des ez much waggin en money ez Mr. Man. He study, en study, en he can't make out how dat is. Bimeby he up'n holler out:

"'Mr. Man, please, sir, lemme ride.'

"Mr. Man, he tuck'n stop he waggin, en 'low:

"'Heyo, Brer Rabbit! how come dis? You comin' one way en I gwine nudder; how come you wanter ride?'

"Brer Rabbit, he up'n scratch hisse'f on de back er de neck wid he behime foot, en holler out:

"'Mr. Man, yo' sho'ly can't be 'quainted 'long wid me. I'm one er dem ar ole-time kinder folks w'at aint a-keerin' w'ich way deyer gwine long ez deyer ridin'.'"

The little boy laughed a sympathetic laugh, showing that he heartily endorsed this feature of Brother Rabbit's programme.

"Atter so long a time," Uncle Remus went on, "Mr. Man 'gree ter let Brer Rabbit ride a little piece. He try ter git Brer Rabbit fer ter ride upon de seat wid 'im so dey kin git ter 'sputin' 'n'er, but Brer Rabbit say he fear'd he fall off, en he des tuck'n sot right flat down in de bottom er de waggin, en make lak he fear'd ter move.

"Bimeby, w'iles dey goin' down hill, en Mr. Man hatter keep he eye on de hosses, Brer Rabbit he tuck'n fling out a great big hunk er de money. Dez ez de money hit de groun' Brer Rabbit holler out:

"'Ow!'

[310]"Mr. Man look 'roun' en ax w'at de marter. Brer Rabbit 'low:

"'Nothin' 't all, Mr. Man, 'ceppin' you 'bout ter jolt my jaw-bone a-loose.'

"Dey go on little furder, en Brer Rabbit fling out 'n'er hunk er de money. W'en she hit de groun', Brer Rabbit holler:

"'Blam!'

"Mr. Man look 'roun' en ax w'at de marter. Brer Rabbit 'low:

"'Nothin' 't all, Mr. Man, 'ceppin' I seed a jaybird flyin' 'long, en I make lak I had a gun.'

"Hit keep on dis a-way twel fus' news you know Mr. Man aint got a sign er money in dat waggin. Seem lak Mr. Man aint notice dis twel he git a mighty fur ways fum de place whar Brer Rabbit drap out de las' hunk; but, gentermens! w'en he do fine it out, you better b'leeve he sot up a howl.

"'Whar my money? Whar my nice money? Whar my waggin full er purty money? O you long-year'd rascal! Whar my money? Oh, gimme my money!'

"Brer Rabbit sot dar en lissen at 'im lak he 'stonish'd. Den he up'n 'low:

"'Look out, Mr. Man! folks'll come 'long en year you gwine on dat a-way, en dey'll go off en say you done gone ravin' 'stracted.'

"Yit Mr. Man keep on holler'n en beggin' Brer Rabbit fer ter gin 'im de money, en bimeby Brer Rabbit, he git sorter skeer'd en he up'n 'low:

[311]"'Sun gittin' low, Mr. Man, en I better be gittin' 'way fum yer. De sooner I goes de better, 'kaze ef you keep on lak you gwine, 't won't be long 'fo' you'll be excusin' me er takin' dat ar money. I'm 'blige' fer de ride, Mr. Man, en I wish you mighty well.'

"Brer Rabbit got de money," continued Uncle Remus, gazing placidly into the fire, "en hit 's mighty kuse ter me dat he aint git de waggin en hosses. Dat 't is!"