C181. The Baby and the Pumpkins

Seven Tales of Uncle Remus, 3: The Baby and the Punkins. The dialect version of this story was published in Dixie (December 1890; not available online), but Harris revised the story to include in Little Mr. Thimblefinger, online at Hathi Trust. Harris removed the dialect forms and I have removed the frame material; click here for notes to the story.

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Well, as far back as I can remember, and before that, too, my mother was a widow, and she had a great many children to take care of. The reason she had so many children was because she was poor. I have noticed all my life that when people are very poor they happen to have more children than they know what to do with. This was the way with my mother. She had a houseful of children, and she found it a hard matter to get along.

One day she went down to the creek to wash the clothes, such as she and the children had, and when she got there she found an old man sitting on the bank. He said, "Howdy," and she said, "Good-morning," and then he asked her if she would be so good as to wash his coat and his waistcoat. She said she would be glad to do so, and the old man said he would be very much obliged. So my mother washed the coat and waistcoat. Then he asked her if she would comb his hair for him, and she did so.

The old man thanked her kindly, and took from his pocket a string of red beads and made her a present of them. Then he told her to go out behind the house when she got home, and there she'd find a pumpkin-tree growing. He said that she must bury the string of beads at the foot of the tree.

"That's a pity," exclaimed my mother; "they are so beautiful."

But the old man declared that she must do as he said, and after that she was to go to the pumpkin-tree every day and ask for as many pumpkins as she wanted.

My mother went home and found the pumpkin-tree where never a tree had been growing before, and at its roots she buried the string of beads. 

Next morning, bright and early, she went to the pumpkin-tree and called for one pumpkin. Down it dropped from the tree. 

For a long time my mother and her children were happy and growing fat. Every day a big pumpkin would be cooked, and as my mother had to leave us so as to attend to her work, enough pumpkin would be left in the pot to last us all day.

I remember that time very well, for I was getting fat and growing to be almost as large as the rest of the children. But one day, as my mother was going out to work she found a ham per basket on the gate-post, and in that basket was a baby. So she carried the baby in the house, gave it something to eat, and then put it on the floor to play with the rest. 

But as soon as she got out of the yard the baby crawled to the pot where the cooked pumpkin was, and ate and ate until there was no pumpkin left. Of course, the rest of the children had to go hungry. 

And when my mother came home she had to go hungry, too. She was very much surprised. She found all the pumpkin gone and the children crying for something to eat, and the stray baby was crying louder than any. She said we were the greediest children she had ever seen.

The next day she cooked two pumpkins, but the same thing happened. The baby went to the pot and ate both. 

The children told her how it happened, but she wouldn't believe them. She said she couldn't be made to believe that one puny little baby could eat two whole pumpkins - and it is very queer, when you come to think about it.

The next day she cooked three pumpkins, but the same thing happened. Then four, then five, then six. But it was always the same. No matter how many pumpkins were cooked, the stray baby would eat them all, and the rest of the children would have to go hungry. You see how small I am; well, the reason of it is that I was starved out by that pumpkin-eating baby. My brothers and sisters and myself were just as large and as healthy as any other children until that baby was found on the gate-post, and from that day we began to dwindle and shrink away.

Well, we starved and starved until at last my mother could very plainly see that something was the matter. So she set a trap for the baby and baited it with pumpkins. 

She hadn't got out of hearing before the baby put his head in the pot and got caught in the trap. It stayed there all day, and when mother came home at night she found it there. She was very much surprised, but she saw she must get rid of the baby. She said that any creature that could manage to eat like that was able to take care of itself, and so she carried it off down the road and left it there.

Now this Pumpkin-Eater was a witch baby, and as soon as it thought my mother was out of sight and hearing it changed itself into a tall, heavy man.

My mother was watching it, and she followed to see where it would go. It went down to the bank of the river. There it found the old man who had given my mother the string of beads, and asked him for something to eat.

"Comb my hair for me," said the old man.

But it refused, and then the old man told it to go to the pumpkin-tree and ask for twenty pumpkins. The greedy thing was glad to do this. It went to the tree and called for twenty pumpkins, and down they fell on its head. It was smashed! Knocked flatter than a pancake! Broke into giblets! They pounded him into jelly and killed him!

C120. Why the Hawk Catches Chickens

1: Why the Hawk Catches Chickens. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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What fattens the chickens fattens the hawk. Course, there was a time when the hawks ain't had no mouth for chicken, but that time done gone by. Hawks are done broke in to catching chickens — the goshawk, the swamphawk and the bluedarter, the forky tail and the fan tail, — all of 'em. But way back yonder they ain't know nothing at all about no chicken, 'cause they ain't had the taste of 'em. I don't know what they did eat, but I hear tell that times got so hard with old Brer Hawk that he had to scuffle 'round right smartually. Yet it seem like scuffling ain't do no good. He fly this a-way, and he fly that, yet he ain't find nothing for to eat, and it look like it was going to be all-night-Isom with him.

Whiles he was flying round, he seed the Sun shining up there in the elements, so he bowed his head and say, "Howdy." And the Sun he howdied back, he did, and they struck up a kind of speaking acquaintance. By and by, Brer Hawk made so bold as to tell the Sun about the trouble what he got, and so the Sun, he up and allow, he did, that if Brer Hawk can catch him in bed, he'll give him all the vittles he can eat and show him where to get more.

If Brer Hawk can catch the Sun in bed, then the Sun say he willing for to show Brer Hawk where to get his vittles. This make more trouble for Brer Hawk. He got up sooner and sooner every morning, but every time he lay eyes on the Sun, he was up and a-shining. Then he sat up all night, but that ain't make no difference. He can't catch the Sun in bed. It went on this away till Brer Hawk get so weak he can scarcely ruffle a feather. He got that poor and light that he can't fly again the wing nohow, and then he just naturally give out.

He was hopping about in the top of a great big pine when he hear Brer Rooster calling him. He took a notion that Brer Rooster was just making game on him, so he holler back, says he, "Don't bother along after me, Brer Rooster. Scratch up yo' little grub worms and cackle over 'em, and eat 'em, but don't pester 'long after me."

Brer Rooster holler back, says he, "What the matter with you? How come you look so pale? How come you look so lonesome?"

Well, after while Brer Hawk dropped down and sat on the fence, where he can talk to Brer Rooster, 'cause he so hungry it make his tongue weak. He sat there on the fence, he did, and up and told Brer Rooster about how he been trying for to catch the Sun in bed. This make Brer Rooster laugh till you might are heared him squall all over the horse lot. He allow, says he, "Mercy, mercy! Whyn't you tell me? Whyn't you tell me long ago?"

With that, Brer Rooster up and say, says he, that there ain't no morning but what he can catch the Sun in bed, and he tell Brer Hawk that if he'll just come and roost somewheres close by, he can catch the Sun the very next morning. Brer Rooster say, says he, that when he clap his wing and crow, then the time done come for Brer Hawk to start off for to catch the Sun in bed.

Well, then, old Brer Hawk look like he mighty thankful. He bowed his head, he did, and look just as nice as a black man does when you give him biscuit and gravy; and he say he gonna stay as close to Brer Rooster as he can scrounge. Brer Rooster, he sort of cluck down in his goozle, and allow, says he, "Get just as close as you please, Brer Hawk, but don't hunch me. I'm mighty nervous in my sleep, and if you hunch me enduring of the night, there's pleased to be trouble."

Ole Brer Hawk, he say, says he, "I ain't a touchous man myself, Brer Rooster, yet I expect I got manners enough not to pester them what is."

They sat there on the roost, they did, just like two bluebirds on a fence post, and if there was any fuss made it was when old Dominicker hen dreamt about little Billy Black Mink, and hollered out in her sleep. They sat there, they did, and nodded right along.

By and by, about an hour before day, Brer Rooster woke up, and clap his wings and holler, "Now yo' time to go!" Then he wait little, and holler another time, "Now yo' time to go!"

With that, Brer Hawk riz and flew, and he flewed so fast and he flewed so far that he come to the place where the Sun live at, and he catch the Sun in bed. In bed! Right there in bed. And it weren't no trundle bed neither. It was one of these here big beds with high posties. Yes sir! The Sun was in there, and he had the bed cover all drawed up 'round his head, and he was snoring same as somebody filing a cowhorn. Brer Hawk rapped on the head-board, and holler out, says he, "'Most time for day to break! Get up from there! Breakfast'll be mighty late if you lay there all day!"

Sun allow, "Who that?"

Brer Hawk say, ''It ain't nobody but me."

Sun allow, "What you want to come waking me up for? I bound I'll have the headache the whole blessed day."

Then Brer Hawk put the Sun in mind of the promise what he made. 

Then the Sun got mad. He allow, says he, "How you expect I gonna find you in vittles? Who show you the way to my bed?"

Brer Hawk say it was Brer Rooster. 

Then the Sun raise up in bed, he did, and wink one eye, and allow, says he, "Go back there and tell yo' Brer Rooster that he got to find you in vittles."

Brer Hawk ain't like this much, and he sort of hung 'round, like he waiting for something. This make the Sun mad, and he jump out of bed and run Brer Hawk out of the house with the poker. 

Brer Hawk ain't know what to do. He flewed back to where Brer Rooster was scratching in the trash pile, and told him what the Sun say. 

This make Brer Rooster laugh. He allow, says he, "How I going to find you in vittles? I got a mighty big family to look after, and I be bless if they don't get hungrier and hungrier every day that comes."

Brer Hawk allow, "I pleased to eat, Brer Rooster, and I'm lots hungrier than what yo' family is."

Brer Rooster allow, says he, "Well, Brer Hawk, you are more than welcome to drop down here and scratch in the trash. I expect yo' claws just as good as what mine is. 'Sides that, you ain't pleased to holler and cackle every time you fine a worm."

But Brer Hawk shake his head. That kind of doings don't nigh suit him. It look too much like work. 

So he sail up in the tree-top, and sat there, and by and by here come old Miss Hen with her chickens, which they let in to scratching alongside Brer Rooster. Brer Hawk look at 'em, and he ask hisself, says he, "What make my mouth water?" 

Then he remembered about how the Sun wunk at him, and it come across his mind that chicken meat might taste good. With that he dropped down on one of Brer Rooster's chilluns, and carried it off, and it fit his appetite so mighty well that he been eating Brer Rooster's family every chance he get. Brer Hawk hungry yet. 

C123. Death and the Black Man

4: Death and the Negro Man. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a black man that was a-getting sort of old, and he got so he ain't want to work nohow you can fix it. When folks hangs back from work what they been set to do, it naturally makes bad matters worse, and that the way it was with this here black man. He held back, and he hung back, and then the white folks got fretted with him and set him a task. Gentlemens! That black man was mad. He was one of deze here Africa black folks, and you know how they is — bowlegged and bad tempered. He quarreled and he quarreled when he was by his own lone self, and he quarreled when he was with the other folks.

He got so mad that he say he hope old Grandsire Death'll come take him off, and take his master and the overseer along with him. He talk so long and he talk so loud, that the white folks hear what he say. then the master and the overseer make it up amongst theyself that they going to play a prank on that black man.

So then, one night, a little after midnight, the master got him a white counterpane, he did, and wrap hisself in it, and then he cut two eye-holes in a pillow-case, and drawed it down over his head, and went down to the house where the black man stay. Black man ain't gone to bed. He been frying meat and baking ashcake, and he sat there in the chair nodding, with grease in his mouth and big hunk of ashcake in his hand. The door was half-way open, and the fire burning low.

The master walk in, he did, and sort of clear up his throat. Black man ain't wake up. If he make any movement, it was to clinch the ashcake a little tighter. Then the master knock on the door — blim-blim-blim! Black man sort of fling his head back, but it weren't long before it dropped forward again, and he went on with his nodding like nothing ain't happen. The master knock some more — blam-blam-blam! This time the black man wake up and roll his eye-balls round. He see the big white thing, and he scared to move. His hand shake so he turn the ashcake loose.

Black man allow, "Who dat?"

The master say, "You call me, and I come."

Black man say, "I ain't call you. What yo' name?"

Master allow, "Grandsire Death."

Black man shake so he can't scarcely sit still. The cold sweat come out on him. He allow, "Master Death, I ain't call you. Somebody been fool you."

The master allow, "I been hear you call me pointedly. I listen at you today, and yesterday, and day 'fore yesterday. You say you want me to take you and yo' master and the overseer. Now I done come at yo' call."

Black man shake worse. He say, "Master Death, go get the overseer first. He lots bigger and fatter than what I is. You 'll like him the best. Please, sir, don't take me this time, and I won't bother you no mo' long as I live."

The master allow, "I come for the man that call me! I'm in a hurry! Daylight mustn't catch me here. Come on!"

Well, sir, that black man make a break for the window, he did, and he went through it like a frog diving in the mill pond. He took to the woods, and he was gone mighty nigh a week. When he come back home he went to work, and he work harder than any of the rest. Somebody come along and try to buy him, but his master allow he won't take eleven hundred dollars for him, — cash money, paid down in his hand!

C124. Where the Harrycane Comes From

5: Where the Harrycane Comes From. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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I'll tell you where the hurricane starts. They starts in the big swamp! In a hollow tree! Down there where the bullace vines grows! That's where they starts. You don't know how it is that dat there acorn in your hand is got a great big oak tree in it. There got to be a starting place. If trees was to start out trees, you'd see a monstrous upsetting all 'round everywheres. There'd be trouble, man, and a heap of it.

Well, sir, one time when I was a boy, there was a old Afriky man live on the place, and he kept a-telling me tales, and by and by one day he allow he want to show me some hurricane seed. I ain't had much sense, but I had enough for to tell him I don't want to look at 'em, 'cause I feared they'd sprout and come up right before my eyes. Then that old Afriky man, he squinch his eyes at me and tell me the tale how the hurricane start.

It's all on account of old Sis Swamp-Owl. All the birds of the air set her old man for to watch the vittles one time, and he took and went to sleep and let someone steal it. They catch him sleep, and from that time out they start in to fight him every time he show his head in daylight. 

This make old Sis Swamp-Owl mad, and so one day, when the hot weather come, she make up her mind that she going to give the other birds some trouble. She come out the hollow tree and sit up in the top limbs. She look towards sundown, rain-seeds floating 'round; she look up in the elements, they look hazy. She tap on the tree.

"Wake up, old man; hurricane getting ripe."

She stretch out her wings, so — and flop 'em down — this away — and right then and there the hurricane seed sprouted.

When she flop her wings, the tree leafs begun to rustle. She flop 'em some more, and the limbs begun to shake, and the wing catch up more wind, and get harder and harder, till by and by it look like it going to claw the grass out the ground. Then the thunder and the lightning they joined it, and it just went a-whirling.

Since that time, whenever old Sis Owl gets tired of the crows and the jaybirds, and the bee-martins picking at her and her folks, she just comes out and flops her wings, and there's your hurricane.

C126. Mrs. Partridge Has a Fit

7: Mrs. Partridge Has a Fit. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Maybe you done got the idea that Brer Rabbit is just about the smartest creature in the whole of creation. Well, if you got that idea, you are mighty much mistaken, 'cause every once in a while something or other'd happen for to take the starch out of Brer Rabbit. It always happen that away. Go where you will and when you may, and stay long as you choosen to stay, and right there and then you'll surely find that folks what get full of conceit and proudness is going to get it took out of 'em.

That the way with Brer Rabbit. Just about time he get it stuck in his mind that there ain't nobody can outdo him, up somebody'd jump and do him scandalous. Them what he ain't got in the corner of his mind, they the very ones what make him feel mighty humble-come-tumble.

One time, when Brer Rabbit was feeling like he was high as a poplar tree and big around as a gin-house, he took a notion that he want some bird eggs. Creatures gets notions in their heads same as folks does, and that the kind of notion Brer Rabbit took up. Nothing'll do but he must have some bird eggs. That the way he put it down. He pleased to have bird eggs.

He got him a basket, he did, and hung it on his arm, and set out to hunt 'em. He took a nigh cut through the woods, and whiles he going along strutting and humming one of these here sassy tunes, he come across Miss Partridge. You done hear about Miss Partridge, ain't you? Most any day in the week, and Sunday flung in for good measure, you can hear 'em hollering and asking old Bob White if his peas most ripe, and will his dogs bite, special at night.

Well, sir, whiles Brer Rabbit going along hunting bird eggs, he struck up with Miss Partridge. She'd done grabbled a hole in the hot sand, and she was sitting in it, flinging up the dust with foot and wing. 

After they'd howdied, Brer Rabbit allow, "What make you wallow in the dust?" 

Miss Partridge say, "I'm trying to get the freckles off. Where you going with that basket?" 

Brer Rabbit allow he hunting bird eggs. Miss Partridge ask him if it ain't bad manners to rob bird-nests. Brer Rabbit allow he done hear talk about it, but when a man get hungry, he can't stand on manners. They jowered, they did, till by and by Miss Partridge say that if Brer Rabbit is bent on robbing bird-nests, she'd take and show him where some was; and with that, off they put, Miss Partridge leading the way. 

First they come where there was a nest with two big eggs in it. Brer Rabbit allow, "That ain't no bird-nest. That's a hen-nest." 

Miss Partridge was astonished. She say, "Lordy, Brer Rabbit, I hear tell that hens lays more than two eggs." 

They went on, and by and by they come to a guinea-nest. Miss Partridge allow, "This is sure enough bird-nest." 

Brer Rabbit say, "Ain't you got no sense, woman? This is Pot Rack nest. Lemme go ahead. I'll find bird-nest." 

Brer Rabbit lead the way right spang to Miss Partridge nest. This kind of flustrate the old lady, but she say to herself that her nest is so hid by the grass that surely Brer Rabbit won't be able to find it. But Brer Rabbit got sharp eyes. He see where the nest is, but he sort of snuffle 'round and make like he hunting it. 

He allow, "Look like I smell bird-egg." 

Miss Partridge laugh and fan herself with a heart-leaf, and say, "How the name of goodness can anybody smell bird-egg?" 

Brer Rabbit allow, "I'll show you;" and with that he uncovered the nest, and there it was with about a hatful of eggs piled up in it. 

Miss Partridge make a great admiration. She say, "Lordy, yes! You can smell 'em, Brer Rabbit, and who'd've thunk it?" 

Brer Rabbit start to put 'em in his basket, but Miss Partridge sort of dance 'round, she did, and say, "Wait, Brer Rabbit, you better lemme see if they are good, 'cause I done forget more about bird-eggs than you ever knowed." 

With that Miss Partridge break one of 'em and taste it, and, man, sir! She ain't more than get it in her mouth before she fell over backwards, and had the worst kind of fit. You done see chickens with their head chop off. Well, Miss Partridge done worse than dat. She flewed up, and fell down and flutter, and scramble 'round in the leaves till Brer Rabbit begun to get scared. When Miss Partridge would sort of flutter towards him, he'd jump back and shake his foots like a cat does when she get water on 'em, and he feel so funny he'd whirl 'round and shake hisself when a piece of grass tickle him on the leg. 

When Miss Partridge can catch her breath, she squall out, 'Run, Brer Rabbity run! They are snake eggs. Run, Brer Rabbit, run! They are rank poison!" 

When Brer Rabbit hear this, I let you know he put out from there like the dogs was after him. Miss Partridge went off in the bushes and made another nest, and took her eggs there, and sat down on 'em and rest herself; and sometimes when she'd be nodding she'd wake up and laugh at the way she fool old Brer Rabbit. 

Maybe you'll be a-telling this tale some of these days, and someone'll whirl in and dispute it. When that the case, you just ask 'em to go where Miss Partridge got her nest and see if she don't do just like she done when she fool Brer Rabbit. She seed how it work then, and she done tell all her chilluns that that the best way to do. And then, up on top of that, you ask 'em if they ever hear of Brer Rabbit hunting bird-eggs since that time. Hust ask 'em dat, and I bound they won't dispute your word no more after that.

C127. Brother Fox Smells Smoke

8: Brother Fox Smells Smoke. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Well, one time there was a man, and this here man had a farm. He had pigs, and he had chickens, and he had ducks. He was going on farming, and raising pigs and ducks and chickens, till by and by, one day, he miss a pig. He ain't say nothing, and next day he miss a chicken. Still he ain't say nothing, and the next day after he miss a duck.

Then he allow, "Hi! What kind of doings is this?"

He study about it, and then he fix him up a trap, and put a pig in it, and set it out by the horse lot. He ain't caught nothing, but he see tracks 'round the trap.

He allow, "Hey! This here look like Brer Fox been foolin' 'round here. I know him, 'cause the hollow of his foot makes a hole in the ground."

Then he took the pig out and put a chicken in the trap. Next morning he went out, he did, en, sure enough, there was Brer Fox sitting in there 'long with some chicken feathers, and he look mighty humble-come-tumble.

The man look at the feathers, and allow, "I glad you brung yo' bed with you, 'cause you'd've slept hard if you hadn't."

Brer Fox, he talk mighty polite. He allow, "I wish you please, sir, turn me out. I was passin' by last night on my way home from the dance, an' I heard a chicken hollerin', an' flutterin', an' I come in for to see what the matter. When I got in, the chicken was done gone, an' then the door shut tight, an' here I had to stay."

Man say, "If that chicken was to holler now, I bound he'd scare you."

Brer Fox allow, "How come?"

Man say, "'Cause he so close to you."

Man got him a rope and tied Brer Fox hard and fast. He tied all his foots together, and then he took Brer Fox home and hung him up on a nail in the wall, and toled his ole woman that she must watch him till he come home. Then the man went to work in the field.

The man's wife, she watch and watch whiles she shelled peas. Then she'd go and stir the stew in the pot, and come back and watch, and shell more peas.

By and by, Brer Fox say, "Look like you got a mighty heap of peas there."

The woman allow, "Lord a mercy, yes! A heap here, and a heap more to come! Hands in the field got to be fed. Lordy, yes! A whole passel of peas, and more to come!"

Brer Fox say, "If you'll take me down an' untie me, I'll shell them peas for you, whiles you are fixin' the rest of the dinner. Then you can tie me up again and hang me on the nail."

The woman, she shook her head, but she keep on studying about it. Brer Fox, he keep on a-talking, and he talk so soft and he talk so smart that the woman put it down in her mind that he ain't bad as they say he is. Then she took Brer Fox down and untied him, and he lit in to shelling peas just as hard as he can. He kept one eye on the woman, and the woman she kept one eye on him. The woman stirred the stew in the pot, and Brer Fox, he fumble with the peas. The woman, she sift the meal, and Brer Fox, he fumble with the peas.

It went on this away, till by and by Brer Fox make a break for the door, but the woman was too quick for him. She slam the door, she did, and chase Brer Fox 'round the room with a battling-stick, and she push him so close that he pleased to run up the chimney. Man, sir! There was trouble then if there never was none before! When Brer Fox light up the chimney he turned the pot of stew over, and put out the fire, and scald the woman. She give a squall, she did, but Brer Fox done gone!

It weren't long 'fore the man and the field hands come home for to get their dinner, and when they find there ain't no dinner there, then there was a rippit. The man, he jower and jower, and the woman, she took and cry, till by and by she flew mad, and then she set in to jowering, and she outjowered the man. She ask him how come he ain't kill Brer Fox while he had him, 'stead of bringing him there where he can cut up his didos, and spoil the dinner, and scald her all on the foots, and ruin her shoes, and put out the fire? The man can't say nothing; he just hush up and go long about his business, hungry though he might be.

The man ain't catch him, but he got caught. When the man left his old woman a-jowering and a-jawing at him, he went out in the pasture, and sat on the fence. He sat dar, he did, and he feel mighty bad. He done plumb outdone. He leaned his head on his hand, and do like somebody got the jaw-ache.

On top of the hill, not so mighty far from there, was the place where Brer Rabbit live at. He see the man come out and sit on the fence, and he watch him. The man still sat there, and Brer Rabbit crept little closer, and watch him. By and by Brer Rabbit come out the bushes and ask the man what the matter. The man up and tell him; and then old Brer Rabbit laugh, and say he ain't know Brer Fox was so sassy and spry. He allow, "I 'spect I'll have to take him down a peg or two. He been fighting shy of me this long time. I feared he been studying up some brand new tricks."

Then Brer Rabbit ask the man how much he'll give him if he'll make Brer Fox feel sorry and sore on account of his prank. The man say he'll let Brer Rabbit grabble in his goober patch, and nibble the cabbage just as much as he want to.

Brer Rabbit allow, "And you won't sic the dog on me?"

Man say, "I won't sic the dog on you."

Brer Rabbit allow, "It's a bargain."

Then old Brer Rabbit begin for to commence for to rope Brer Fox in. He tell the man he must have some chicken gizzards. Man went and got 'em. Then Brer Rabbit went back on the hill where he live at, and got his wallet and his walking cane. In the wallet he put the chicken gizzards, and on his walking cane he hung the wallet. Then he went out for to take a walk.

He ain't gone so mighty far 'fore he see Brer Fox going 'long sniffing the air and trotting with his head up like a blind horse. Brer Rabbit hail Brer Fox, and ask him where he going. Brer Fox respond that he ain't going nowheres in particular, and he ask wherebouts Brer Rabbit going with his walking cane and wallet. Brer Rabbit respond that he hunting for somebody for to help him move in some hay. All this time Brer Fox was walking 'round and 'round sniffing the air.

By and by, he up and allow, "Brer Rabbit, I believe in my soul I smell chicken gizzards."

Brer Rabbit say, "I 'spect you does, Brer Fox, 'cause I got 'em right here in my wallet."

Then Brer Fox jaw begun to tremble, and he fair dribble at the mouth, 'cause if there is anything on the topper side of the earth what he love more than another, it is chicken gizzards.

He allow, "How many is you got, Brer Rabbit?"

Brer Rabbit say, "Somewheres 'twixt seven and elevent."

Brer Fox allow, "What you going do with 'em, Brer Rabbit?"

Brer Rabbit say, "I gonna give 'em to the man what helps me with my hay."

Brer Fox jump up in the air, he did, and allow, "Show me the hay, Brer Rabbit! Show me the hay! I'm the man what can move it."

So Brer Rabbit start back the way he come, and Brer Fox went 'long with him. Brer Fox trot 'long on the side where the wallet was, and one time he went to look in it, but Brer Rabbit too smart for that. He allow, "You can look at 'em when you done earned 'em, and not a blessed minute sooner."

Well, it weren't long 'fore they come to where the pile of hay was. Brer Fox ask Brer Rabbit what he going do with all that dry grass, and Brer Rabbit say he going to feed his cow with some, and some he going to stuff in his bed tick. They sort palavered, they did, but by and by Brer Fox he got a good big turn of the ruffage on his back, and start up the hill. Brer Rabbit took out his flint and steel and struck it on the hay.

Brer Fox allow, "What that?"

Brer Rabbit say, "Cricket hollerin'."

Then the grass begun to crackle and blaze, and Brer Fox allow, "What that?"

Brer Rabbit say, "Grasshopper singin'."

Brer Fox, he mosey 'long, he did, and by and by he allow, "I smell smoke."

Brer Rabbit say, "Somebody burning the new ground."

After while, Brer Fox allow, "I feel mighty hot."

Brer Rabbit say, "Weather monstrous warm."

It weren't long 'fore the hay burn down and Brer Fox, he fetched one squall and jump out from under it. He twist, he turn, he roll, he jump, but it ain't do no good, and then he make a break for the creek. The hair done burnt off of his back, and the hide blistered. That what he get for trying to steal from the man, and for turning over the pot of stew, 'stead of waiting till he got a good chance to go out the door. if he'd've done dat, he'd've saved his manners and his hide too.

C129. Why Brother Fox's Legs Are Black

10: Why Brother Fox's Legs Are Black. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox went out in the woods hunting, and after so long a time, they begun to get hungry. Least ways Brer Fox did, 'cause Brer Rabbit had brung a ashcake in his wallet, and every time he got a chance he'd eat a mouthful — every time Brer Fox'd turn his back, Brer Rabbit'd nibble at it. Well, enduring of the day, Brer Fox begun to get mighty hungry. They had some game what they done kill, but they was a far ways from home, and they ain't had no fire for to cook it.

They ain't know what to do. Brer Fox so hungry it make his head ache. By and by the sun begun to get low, and it shine red through the trees.

Brer Rabbit allow, "Yonder where you can get some fire."

Brer Fox say, "Wherebouts?"

Brer Rabbit allow, "Down where the sun is. She'll go in her hole directly, an' then you can get a big chunk of fire. Just leave yo' game here with me, an' go get the fire. You are the biggest an' the swiftest, an' can go quicker.

With that Brer Fox put out to where the sun is. He trot, he lope, and he gallup, and by and by he get there. But by that time the sun done gone down in her hole and the ground, for to take a night's rest, and Brer Fox he can't get no fire. He holler and holler, but the sun ain't pay no attention. then Brer Fox get mad and say he going to stay there till he gets some fire. So he lay down top of the hole, and 'fore he knowed it he dropped asleep. That he was, and there where he got caught.

Now you know mighty well the sun pleased to rise. and when she start to rise, there was Brer Fox fast asleep right up on top of the hole where she got to rise from. When that the case, something or other pleased to happen. The sun rise up, and when she find Brer Fox in the way, she het him up and scorch his legs till they got right black. They got black, and they are black to this very day.

C131. The Man and the Wild Cattle

12: The Man and the Wild Cattle. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story. The hunter in this story is the same as the boy in this story: The little boy and his dogs: "Well, sir, that little boy what I been tell you about, he growed up, and come to be a hunter: and them two dogs, they growed along with him, and they got worse than they was when they killed the woman — lots worse. So he hunt the cattle, and the dogs kill 'em scandalous."

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One time there was a man, and he live close by a great big woods. There ain't no woods 'round here big as what that woods was. Get on a swift horse and gallop him seven days and seven nights, and you'd go as far as the woods was wide. Get on the same horse and gallop him under whip and spur eleven days and eleven nights, and you'd go as far as the woods was long. The woods was full of horned critters, and in about all of 'em was cattle. There might've been some deer amongst 'em, but the big run of 'em was horned cattle. They roamed 'round in the woods, cropping the grass, and cutting up their capers. They ain't had no trouble about nothing excepting what the man brung 'em.

Now, this here man, he hunt the cattle for their hide and tallow. He had a bow and arrow, and he had two big dogs, and the cattle what escape from his bow and arrow he'd catch with his dogs. There weren't no common run of dogs — they was big as a good size calf, — and they was more servigorous than a panther. They worried the horned critters constant. One of 'em was name Minny-Minny-Morack! The other was named Folla-malinska!

It went on that away till by and by the wild cattle held a meeting for to get up some kind of plan to make way with the man. The onliest way they can do is to fix it so they can catch the man by hisself. They study and study, but they don't know how they going to fetch that about. The dogs was in the way. If they can get the man by hisself, they can run in on him and hook him into giblets, but if the dogs along with him, then they get killed theyself. So they study and study. 

By and by a nice young cow, white as snow, say she going to try a trick. She allow she going to change into a young woman and make him marry her. Then she say she'll persuade him to stay home long as she can, and when she can't persuade him no longer, then she'll take and tie the dogs so they can't go along with him when he go hunting, and then the horned critters can close in on him and make way with him. The Brindle Cow shook her head and allow, "Oh-ho!" and the Dun Cow switch her tail and allow, "Ah- ha!" and that the way they settle it. 

So then, the next time the man start for to go hunting, he come 'cross a young woman in the woods. She was a likely looking gal, man! — just as pretty as red shoes with blue strings in 'em. The man he look at her, he did, and the gal, she look back at him, and then they both look at one another.

Yes, that white cow just went and change herself bodaciously from a cow and come to be a likely young woman! How she done it, I'll never tell you, but the critters in them days was just as mischievous as they could be; there weren't no end to their tricks. Just to sit here and chat about it, it don't seem like that a cow can change herself till she come to be a woman, but there she was right 'fore the man's two eyes, and how you going get round that? That what I'd like to know! 

Now, then, there was the likely young woman, and there was the man. The woman, she held her head down like she ashamed; and the man, he stood there, he did, and make sheep-eyes at her. Well, you know how it is when folks do that away. After 'while, the man, he sort of sidle up to the young woman and ask her if she'll have him, and the young woman, she took and chew on her bonnet string, and allow that she ain't know nothing contrary to the question. That the way women folks say, "Yes sir, and thanky too!" Then they went off and got married, and the man took the young woman home, and they set up housekeeping. 

The man sort of dropped his hunting after that. Look like he sort of lost the appetite for killing the wild cattle for their hide and tallow. His bow and arrow was put up on the shelf, and he stayed 'round the house. The dogs ain't know what to make of this; they wonder and wonder what the matter is, and some days they'd stand on the door-sill and look at the man and whine. All this time the wild cattle was roaming in the woods, grazing, and cutting up their capers. 

By and by the man begun to hone for to go hunting, and one night he took and told the young woman that he pleased to go hunting the next day. So, 'fore day the next morning, the woman went out and tied the dogs hard and fast, and then crept back to bed. The man, he got up, he did, and fried him a rasher of meat, and dropped a pone of cornbread in his wallet, and then he put out for to hunt the wild cattle. He ain't pay no attention to the dogs, 'cause he been in the habits of going a-hunting without 'em, and when he need 'em right bad, he'd just holler and call 'em. No matter how far off he might be, he'd just put his hand to his mouth and holler, "Minny-Minny-Morack! Folla-malinska! Here, boys, here!"

Some of the wild cattle seed him a-coming, and they went and told the others, and then the whole drove took to their heels and made off as hard as they could. The man followed their tracks, and this was exactly what they want. They want to toll the man just as far in the woods as they can. By and by he come on 'em in one of these here big open places, like the clay galls you see in a pine thicket. There the wild cattle took their stand, and they was so many of 'em it look like they fair swarmed all over the face of the earth.

Then the man drawed his bow and let fly his arrows, and called his dogs as loud as he could. He listen for the dogs, but the more he listen the more he ain't hear 'em, and he keep shooting at the cattle and calling the dogs, till he ain't got but three arrows left. Then the wild cattle put their heads down and hoisted their tails in the air, and come a-rushing at him same as a hurricane. The big old bulls allow, "Oo-hoo! Now we got you!" and the cows they holler, "Ma-hah! Now we get your hide and tallow!"

But just about that time the man took one of the arrows what he got left and stuck it in the ground, and 'fore you can say Jack Robinson with your mouth open, the arrow growed to be a great big tree, with the man straddling the top limbs. This make the wild cattle feel astonish, and then they got mad and run at the tree and hook it till their horns got sore. Then they pawed up the ground and bellow, just like the cows does when they smell fresh beef blood. But it ain't do no good, — there the tree was, and there she stood. 

Then some of the wild cattle put out and got some axes, and begun to cut the tree down, and it look like mighty scary times for the man.  Sitting in the top of the tree, he call his dogs, "Minny-Minny-Morack! Folla-malinska! Here, boys, here!"

Down at the bottom of the tree the wild cattle they chop and chop, Blam! Blip-blip-blam! Blip-blip-blam ! Blam! Blam-blam-blam! Blip-blip-blam!' 

Course no tree can't stand that kind of doings, and this one begun to get shaky. The man call the dogs, and they ain't come! The axes call the tree, and by and by down she come! Time she struck the ground the man stuck another arrow in the ground, and up it growed bigger than the other one.

The man call his dogs, "Minny-Minny-Morack! Folla-malinska! Here, boys, here!"

The axes they call on the tree, "Down! Down! Dip-dip-down! Down-dip! Dip-down! Dippy-dip! Dippy-down!"

The dogs ain't come, but the tree come, and the man just had time for to stick his onliest arrow in the ground 'fore the wild cattle swarmed in on him. The arrow growed up bigger and bigger than the others. In the top the man sat and call the dogs louder and louder, and at the butt the wild cattle cut harder and harder. 

Now all this time, the dogs hear the man calling, and they pull at the ropes and tug at 'em hard as they can, but the ropes big and strong. The man, he call, and the dogs, they tug. By and by they set in to gnawing, and just 'fore the las' tree fell they gnawed the ropes in two. Man, sir! When they did get loose, they just come a gallivanting! The man hear 'em coming, and he call louder. The wild cattle hear 'em coming, and they cut harder. 

The man call, "Minny-Minny-Morack! Folla-malinska! Come, boys, come!"

The axes talk, "Tree-down! Tree-down! Trip-trip-tree-down!"

By and by, just as the tree come down ker- blashity-blam! The dogs rushed up. The man sicced 'em on, and they was so mad that they destroyed mighty nigh all the wild cattle. After they done killed all they could, the man seed a snow white cow laying mongst the rest. The hide was so nice that he save it for hisself. 

He went back home, but his wife done gone, and he ain't never see her till this day. He ain't know nothing at all about the white cow.

C133. Brer Goat Eats the Rock

14: Brother Billy Goat Eats His Dinner. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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BRER GOAT EATS THE ROCK

There was one time when Brer Wolf was going loping 'round the settlement feeling mighty hungry. He want some vittles for hisself, and he want some for his family, yet it seem like he can't find none nowheres. He talk with Brar Bear, and he hear tell that shote meat mighty good, but he can't find no shote; he hear tell that goat meat mighty good, but he can't find no goat.

But by and by, one day whiles he going 'long the road, he seed a big rock laying in a field, and on top of this here rock was Brer Billy Goat. It weren't none of these here little bit of rocks; it was mighty nigh as big as this here house, and old Brer Billy Goat was a-standing up there kind of ruminating about old times. 

Brer Wolf loped up, he did, and made ready for to see what kind of taste goat meat got. Yet he took notice that Brer Billy Goat was chewing away like he eating something. Brer Wolf sort of wait awhile, but Brer Billy Goat was constant a-chewing and a-chewing. Brer Wolf look and he look, but Brer Billy Goat keep on a-chewing and a-chewing. 

Brer Wolf look close. He ain't see no green grass, he ain't see no shucks, he ain't see no straw, he ain't see no leaf. Brer Billy Goat keep on a-chewing and a-chewing. Brer Wolf study, but he don't know what the name of goodness Brer Billy Goat can be eating up there. So by and by he hail 'im. 

He allow, says he, "Howdy, Brer Billy Goat, howdy. I hope you are middling pert these hard times?" 

Brer Billy Goat shake his long beard and keep on a-chewing. 

Brer Wolf allow, says he, "What you eatin', Brer Billy Goat? Look like it taste mighty good." 

Brer Billy Goat allow, 'I'm a-eatin' this here rock; that what I'm a-eatin'." 

Brer Wolf make answer, 'I'm mighty hungry myself — but I don't expect I can do that." 

Brer Billy Goat allow, "Come up where I is, and I'll break you off a hunk with my horns." 

Brer Wolf say, says he, that he mighty much obliged, but he expect he had to be getting along, and he allow to hisself, "If Brer Billy Goat can eat rock like that, I expect I better go along and let 'im alone." 

Brer Billy Goat holler at 'im and say, says he, "If you can't climb up, Brer Wolf, I can come down there and help you up. The rock where I is is more fresher than that down there. It's some harder, but it's lots more fresher." 

But Brer Wolf ain't stop to make answer. He just kept a-going. He took it in his head that if Brer Billy Goat can eat rock that away, it won't do to fool along with 'im, 'cause if a critter can eat rock, he can eat whatsoever they put 'fore 'im.

Course Brer Billy Goat was just chewing his cud and talking big, and I done seed lots of folks do that a-way — black folks well as white folks.

C134. The King That Talked Biggity

15: The King That Talked Biggity. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a time when there was a king somewheres. It might've been 'round here, or it might've been back up there in Virginia; no matter about that, it was somewheres. That there king was one of these here old timey kings. He been sitting up there kinging over 'em so long that his hair done drop out, and his toothies got loose, and his hand shake with the palsy. When the folks see that, they say that it's in about time for that king to stop kinging, and let some other somebody do some kinging. But the old king he held on, like tick on a cow. He just kept on a-kinging.

By and by the folks get tired, and they meet together and choosen another king. The old king ask who is he; but the folks refuse to give his name out. They feared the old king going to whirl in and make way with 'im. The old king ask is he old man. The people respond that he older than some folks, and lots younger than some others. 'Cause he mighty mean man, and they know that if they tell 'im they done choosen a old man, he'll send out and have all the old folks killed; and if they tell 'im they done gone and choosen a young man, they know he'll never rest tell he done massacreed all the young people. Yes sir! That exactly the kind of man what he was, and them folks what he been kinging over, they know that they had to step mighty thin if they want to keep their hides whole.  

Then you ought to hear that old king talk biggity. He just fairly pound the ground. He rip, he rave, he fume, he fret. Yet it ain't do no good. There was the folks, and they just stood their ground and kept their eye on 'im. By and by the old king sort of cool down. He seed it weren't no use for to be cutting up no didos, so he pick up his hat and his handkerchief where he done drop 'em, and got back on the place where they sit when they do their kinging, and he allow, says he, "You all got the idea that 'cause I'm old and shaky that I ain't got no sense, but I'm just a-going to show you. Go and tell the man what you done choosen that 'fore he can be king he got to send me a beef. It ain't got to be no bull, and it ain't got to be no cow. When he do that, he can be king; 'cause then I'll know he got sense 'nough for to do the kinging for you all just same as I been doing it."

The folks look at one another and shake their heads, and then they go off and hold a confab. They don't know what they going to do. The man what they choosen for to be their new king was a young man, and they scared he can't do what the old king say. By and by some of 'em went and broke the news, and the young man sort of raise his head and wink one eye. He allow, says he, "Go back and tell the old king that I got a fine steer fattening in my pens, but he got to come get 'im; but he ain't got to come in the day nor neither in the night."

When the folks hear this, it make 'em feel sort of help up, and they went back and told the old king what the young man say. He sat dar, he did, and sort of study, and scratch his head. Then he ask 'em if they be so good as to give 'im a chaw tobacco. He took a big chaw, and then he pick up his hat and his cane, and grab his carpet-bag, and tell 'em, "So long."

C136. The Face of the Moon

17: Why the Moon's Face Is Smutty. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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In them days, way back yonder, the Moon use to come down and get behind a big poplar log, when she want to make a change. She ain't want nobody to see 'er. She'd rise later and later every night, just like she do now, and then towards the last she'd drop down on the far end of the land, over that away, and slip behind the poplar log and change all she want to.

But one time there was a man going along through the woods toting a bag of charcoal, what he been burning. He been watching the coal kiln since midnight the night before, and he was so tired out and broke down that instead of singing or whistling, like folks does when they go through the woods, he was just going about his business without making any fuss. He was asking hisself if there'd be any hot ashcake waiting for 'im, and whether the old woman'd save 'im any pot-liquor from dinner. 

He was going 'long this away, when the first news he know, he come right upon the Moon whiles she was changing. Man, sir! There was the biggest flutterment then and there that there's ever been before or since. Folks 'way off thought they could hear thunder, though there weren't nothing in the roun' world but the Moon trying for to get out the way of the man. 

The man, he dropped the bag of charcoal and run like old Scratch was after 'im. He just tored through the woods like a hurricane was blowing 'im along. He was going one way and the Moon another, but the Moon she tripped and fell right on top of the bag of charcoal, and you can see the signs of it down to this day. Look at 'er when you will, and you'll see that she look like she been hit 'cross the face with a soot-bag. Don't take my word for it. Just look for yourself! There it is! Ever since that day the Moon done got so she do her changing up in the elements.

C139. Dreaming of Dinner

20: According to How the Drop Falls. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time there was a black man, and this here man had a big fat possum and a half a peck of sweet taters. He took the possum and the taters home, and he lay 'em down, — the possum on one side the fireplace and the taters on the other side. Then he get some wood and chips and make him a fire, and then he fetch out the skillet. He put the possum in there, he did, and he put the taters in the ashes close by for to keep him company. Then he raked out some hot embers and sat the skillet on 'em, and he put on the skillet lid, and piled some embers upon top of that.

He sat there, he did, and wait for the possum for to get done. After so long a time he pull the taters out of the embers, and push the skillet 'way from the fire. He allow to hisself, he did, that cold possum is better than hot possum, though both of 'em is good enough for anybody. So he say he'll just let it set there and cool, and soak in the gravy. Then he say he believe he'll do some nodding, 'cause then he'll dream he eating the possum, and then he'll wake up and eat him sure enough, and have the enjoyment of eating him two times. 

Well, sir, that just the way he done. He sat back in his chair, the man did, and he nodded and nodded, and he work his mouth just like he eating possum, and he grunt in his sleep like he feeling good. 

But whiles he sitting there sleeping, another man smell the possum, and he crept up to the door and peep in. He seed how the land lay, and he slipped off his shoes and stole in. He lift up the lid of the skillet, and there was the possum. He look on the side of the hearth, and there was the taters. Now, then, when that the case, what going to happen? Possum, and tater, and hungry man! Well, sir, the first news you know, the possum was all bones, and the taters was all peelings. Then the man fix the bones in one little pile, and he fix the peelings in another little pile, and then he took some of the possum gravy and rub it on the the other man's mouth and hands, and then he went on about his business. 

It weren't so mighty long after that 'fore the nodding man wake up. He open his eyes, he did, and stretch hisself, and look at the skillet and laugh. 

He allow, "You are there, is you? Well, I'll tell you howdy now, and directly I'll tell you good-by!"

He took the lid off of the skillet, and there ain't no possum there. He look 'round for the taters, and there ain't no taters there. There ain't nothing there but a pile of bones and a pile of tater-peelings. 

The man sat down in his chair and went to studying. He look at his hands, and he see possum grease on 'em. He lick out his tongue, and he taste possum gravy on his mouth. He shook his head and study. He look at his hands. "Possum been there!" He lick his mouth. "Possum been there, too!" He rub his stomach. "But I be bless if any possum been here!"

C140. A Fool for Luck

21: A Fool for Luck. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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Well, one time there was a man what do so funny that folks call him a fool. He was a hard working man, too, and he raise good crops, but he do like he cripple under the hat. He had a crib full of corn, and by and by he begun to miss it. He watch the crib at night and in the daytime, but he ain't see nobody taking none, and the corn keep on getting lower and lower.

The man live on the river, and on the other side the river there was a big woods. By and by somebody tell the man that the squirrels was toting off his corn. The man laugh and say that if squirrels can tote off his corn, seven bushels at a time, they are more than welcome. But he watch all the same. 

He got up 'fore day, and went and sat by the crib, and it weren't long 'fore he seed a sight that make him rub his eyes. He hear a racket on the fence and a clatter in the bushes, and the squirrels begun to swarm 'round the crib, and all of 'em come from towards the river. The man sat and watch 'em. They climbed up in the crib, they did, and every blessed one of 'em took a ear of corn in they mouth and start back 'cross the river. The man follow along after 'em. 

When they* get to the river, they put the corn down, and hunt 'round till they get a piece of bark. They put the bark in the water and lay the corn in it, then they shove out from shore, and hoist their tails for sails and go on across. Every one had a piece of bark, and they ferry that corn across like they done been used to that kind of business. 

The man, he sat there like he dazed. He go back the next morning and watch, and he see the same kind of doings. Every squirrel took a ear of corn, and every squirrel got him a piece of bark, and hoist his tail upon his back and sail across the river. The man ain't say a word. He ain't so much as shoo at 'em. He just sat there and watch 'em and laugh. More than that, he went and told other folks about it and laugh some more. They ask him whyn't he make the squirrels drop the corn, and he just wunk at 'em and grin. Then they say he pleased to be a fool, and he wunk and laugh some more. 

By and by, when the corn begun to get low in the crib, the man took his gun and his ax, and went across the river for to look after it. He was going along, hunting for the corn, when up jump a rabbit. He raise his gun and shot, and just as he shot the rabbit run into a covey of partridges. At the shot a turkey gobbler flopped up and flewed in a big poplar, and the man lammed loose with the other barrel, and the gobbler dropped over and lodged up there. Then he look over the ground and find one dead rabbit, and eleven dead partridges. One partridge had her wing broke, and she scrambled off in the bushes. The man followed on after, and directly he come to where there was a turkey nest with a hatful of turkey eggs. 

Then he climbed up the tree for to get the turkey. When he got up there, he see that the turkey done drop in a hole like, and he pull her out, and down in there was all his corn. He climbed down, he did, and got the ax and begun to cut the tree down. He ain't more than chopped through the bark 'fore he seed something or other running out, and he look at it close, and it was the pure honey. 

He allow, "Hi! I'm getting the rent for my corn!" Then he chopped him out a stub and plugged up the hole, and got his game and his turkey eggs, and put out for home. 

Whiles he going back another rabbit jump up. The man ain't got no load in his gun, so he just flung the gun at him. The rabbit went on, but when the man start to pick up the gun, he feel the ground giving way beneath his foots, and before he can catch hisself he done dropped down in a hole.

Well, sir, it was over his head. It seem like someone had made the hole and covered it with a plank, and then put dirt on the plank. It been done so long that the man come along just in time for to fall through. When he begun to fall, he make up his mind that it was all-night-Isom there with him. But he struck bottom quicker than he expected he would, and when he get over his scare he begun to feel 'round for to see if it's him or some other man what dropped in there. Whiles he was feeling 'round for to see see who he was, and where he was, and what he doing there, he put his hand on something hard and cold. 

Yes sir! Right then and there he put his hand on something hard and cold — and what you reckon it was? Nothing in the round world hut a keg of money! He scrambled out of there, after he lift the keg out, and then he roll it down to his canoe, and took it home. He count it up, the man did, and he find he got forty-eleven hundred dollars in hard specie. 

When he get rested, he took his hoss and wagon and a empty barrel, and went 'round by the bridge, and back to the place where he find the honey. He pull the plug out of the tree and let the honey run in the barrel till it's full, and then he took it home and fetch back two more barrels, and got them full. It went on this away till he got I don't know how many barrels of honey. 

And then, when he cut down the tree and haul the corn home, he find he got more than he had at first, 'cause the squirrels been stealing somebody else corn along with his'n! 

So then, there he was, with as much money as he want, and more honey than a drove of mules can pull, and more corn than what he had before, and all the game he want, and all because he the biggest fool in seven United States.

C141. The Man and His Boots

22: The Man and His Boots. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time, there was a man what hear talk of some of Brer Rabbit's doings — how he lay down in the road whiles a man was going along with some fishes in a wagon, and how he run 'round and lay down again; and keep on doing that till by and by the man went back after the first rabbit he seed, and then Brer Rabbit had a chance for to get the fishes — I done most forget that there tale off of my mind. But howsomever it was, the man done hear tell about it, and he allow to hisself that he just as smart as what Brer Rabbit is.

So, one day, he got him a brand new pair of boots with red tops on 'em, and whiles he sitting side of the road looking at 'em, he hear somebody coming along in a wagon. He know'd who the somebody was, 'cause he seed 'em on the rise of the hill. The man in the wagon had some calico for to make his wife a dress, and some blue chinaware for to put in the cupboard. The man what had the boots, he took and flung one of 'em in the road, and hid hisself in the bushes for to see what the the other man gonna do.

Well, sir, the man in the wagon, he come along, and he see the boot in the road. He holler at his hoss for to "whoa there!" and he look at the boot right hard, like he studying. He allow, "If there was two of you, I'd take you, but one boot ain't going do nobody no good, excepting it's a wooden-legged man."

So he drove on, and the man what lay the boot there, he put out and went on ahead and flung the other boot in the road. The man in the wagon, he come along, he did, and he see the other boot. 

He allow, "Heyo! This here boot makes the other boot good. Whoa, there, hoss! I'll go back and get 'er."

With that, he dropped the lines on the dashboard and went back after the odd boot. Whiles he gone, the man what had the boots took the calico and the crockery and made off with 'em. 

He hid 'em in the underbrush, and then he come back and listen for to see what the other man going do. Well, sir, the other man come back with the boot, and then be had two. Time he climbed in the wagon he seed that somebody done steal his calico and his crockery, but he ain't say nothing. He just look at the boots and laugh. 

The man in the bushes ain't know what to make of this. He stood there, he did, and scratch his head and study. He watch the other man, and far as he can see him he was looking at the boots and laughing. The man in the bushes say he going to see what the matter with them there boots, when the other man in the wagon can swap off calico and crockery for 'em and still feel good enough for to laugh. 

So the man in the bushes he run 'round and head the other man off, and met him in the road. He come driving along, still looking at the boots and laughing. Look like when he see the man in the road it make him laugh worser than before. 

The man in the road allow, "You must be having a mighty heap of fun all by yourself."

The man in the wagon laugh like he going to bust wide open. All he can say is, "Lord have mercy! These boots! These boots! These boots!"

The man in the road allow, "What the matter with the boots, that they are so mighty funny? They ain't look funny to me."

The man in the wagon look like he choke with laughing. When he catch his breath he holler, "Oh, these boots! These boots!"

Man in the road allow, "You ain't going crazy, is you?"

Man in the wagon say, "You'd be crazy too if somebody had've come along and dropped these boots where you could get 'em. Lord have mercy! These boots!"

Man in the road allow, "What kind of doings is these? You better lemme get up there and take you home to your family!"

Man in the wagon say, "My folks'll laugh too, when they know what I knows; and you'd laugh yourself if you'd've been coming along the road and find these boots what got red in the top."

Man in the road say, "I had a pair just like 'em, and they ain't make me laugh."

Man in the wagon say, "You'd laugh worser than me if you'd've pick these boots up in the road and found one ten dollar bill in one of 'em, and another ten dollar bill in the other one."

Man in the road allow, "Lemme see them boots! — they are mine! Hand 'em here! I took and lost 'em yesterday whiles I coming from town. Give me the money!"

Man in the wagon shut his eye. He say, "You right sure they are your'n?"

Man in the road allow, "Yes they is, and I got the proof of it!"

Man in the wagon say, "Well and good! Get up here and go along with me, and show the proof."

Man in the road jump up on the wheel, but 'fore he can sit down the man in the wagon flung him back in the wagon body and jump on him and tie him, and took him off to the calaboose. There they make him tell what he done with the calico and the chinaware, and they kept him, I don't know how long; and 'fore they turn him loose they took him out and hit him thirty-nine on the naked hide. 

Course, the man in the wagon ain't find no money in the boots. He just putting on, so he can find the man what drop 'em, 'cause he know that right where be find the man that drop 'em, right there he'll find the man what stoled his calico and crockery. That what make I say that folks ain't got no business mocking the way the critters does. They are bound to get caught up with, and right then they are in deep trouble. Critters can take what ain't theirs, and tell fibs, and there don't no harm come from it; but when folks tries it, they are pleased to come to some bad end. Now you just watch 'em.

C143. Tinktum Tidy and the King

24: How the King Recruited His Army. Text Source: Uncle Remus and His Friends by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time, there was a boy, and this here boy was mighty smart. He was like a slick thrip — little but old. I don't know what they call him in them times, but in these days we'd call him a runt, and laugh at him. Well, this here boy had a head on him. He look like he dried up, but never mind that. Them what got ahead of him had to get up long 'fore day, and if they ain't take care they'd find him up before 'em.

One season, when the blackberries was ripe, he went 'round and told the folks that if they'd take their baskets and their buckets and go out and get the blackberries, he'd give 'em half they pick. It been so seldom that the folks get a chance for to make any extra money that they mighty glad to have the chance to pick blackberries. So they all went out and pick and pick, till they pick two wagon loads of 'em. Well, this here shrunk up boy, which he look like he ain't got no sense scarcely, he divide fair, there ain't no two ways about that. He took half and give 'em their half back. Linktum Lidy Lody, that what they call him, and that what he call hisself — Linktum Tidlum Tidy. It run along so funny that I don't know whereabouts the given name stops at and whereabouts the family name begins at. For short and sweet they call him Tinktum Tidy.

Well, this here Tinktum Tidy, he divide out fair with the folks. He took his half of the blackberries and give 'em their half. There weren't no disputing about it. But then when the folks get their half, they ask theyself what they going do with it. They want to sell it to Tinktum Tidy, but he allow he got just as much blackberries as he know what to do with. After a while the folks say that if they can't sell their share of the blackberries, they just as well put 'em in Tinktum Tidy's pile, and that what they done; and then he took the two wagon loads to town and sold 'em for the cash money.

By and by some of the more longer headed folks sat down and got to studying about it, and they ask theyself how come they got to go out and pick blackberries for that little bit of shrunk up chap. They study and study, but the more they study the more foolish they feel.

Well, sir, the tale got out, and it travel 'round and 'round till the King got wind of it, and he took and sent for Tinktum Tidy. This make the folks what pick the blackberries mighty glad, 'cause they got the idea that the King going to put the little shrunk up chap in the calaboose for fooling 'em. But Tinktum Tidy ain't scared. He wrap up a change of clothes in his handkerchief, and put out to where the King stay at. Some of the folks went along for to see what going to come of the little shrunk up chap what fool 'em.

By and by they got to where the King live, and Tinktum Tidy just march right along in, and told 'em that the King done sent for him. They took him in a big room where there was a whole passel of other folks, and told him to wait there till the King come. Everybody look at him hard, he was so shrunk up and puny, and he look right back at 'em, just like he was one of the quality.

After while, here come the King. Time he got settled on the platform, his eye dropped on Tinktum Tidy, and he ask what that there runt doing there.

They up and tell the King that that's the chap what make the folks pick so much blackberries. When the King hear this, he lay back and laugh fit to kill hisself. He call Tinktum Tidy up and ask him all about how he been doing, and then he allow, the King did, that Tinktum Tidy must be mighty smart. 

But Tinktum Tidy, he say that it ain't him that's smart, it's the folks what pick the blackberries, 'cause folks what can pick that much in so little time is pleased to be smart. 

Then the King run his hand in his pocket and pull out eleven grains of corn. He allow, "Take this here corn and do what you please with it, but the crop I want from it is eleven strong men for to put in my army."

Tinktum Tidy took the corn and tie it up in one corner of his handkerchief. He allow, "Not counting hurricanes and high water, I'll be back in a fortnight. If eleven strong men was as easy to pick as blackberries, I'd send some other folks, but I'll have to go after the men myself."

With that he make his bow, he did, and took his foot in his hand and put out. He travel all that day, and about night he come to a tavern, and there he stop. The man ask him where he come from, what his name, and where he going. He say he come from Chuckerluckertown, and he name Tinktum Tidy, and he going on a long journey. When bedtime come, he call the man in the room and show him the corn. 

He allow, "Here the eleven grains of corn the King give me. I'll lay it on the table. I'm feared the Big Gander going to eat it."

The man say he'll shut the door so the Big Gander can't get it. Then they all went to bed. Tinktum Tidy wait till everybody got still, and then he got up and dropped the corn through the crack of the floor. Then he went to sleep. 

Next morning he wake up soon and alarm the neighborhood. He holler out, "I told you so! I told you so! The Big Gander done eat the eleven grains of corn what the King give me! The Big Gander done eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me!"

Tinktum Tidy holler so loud and so long that he scare the man. Then the man's old woman, she stuck her head out the window and sat up a squall.  She say, "Take the Big Gander and go on off from here! Take him and go!"

Tinktum Tidy took the Big Gander under his arm and went poling down the big road. He travel all that day till night, and he come to another town, and he went and put up at the tavern. When bedtime come, he tied the gander by the leg to the bedstead, and then he call the man. 

"Here the Big Gander that eat eleven grains of corn that the King give me. I'll tie him here, 'cause I'm feared the Boo-Boo Black Sheep'll kill him."

Man say, "Black Sheep can't get him here."

In the middle of the night Tinktum Tidy got up and broke the Big Gander's neck and flung him out in the barn-yard. Next morning he got up soon, and begun to holler. He allow, "I told you so! I told you so! Boo-Boo Black Sheep done kill the Big Gander that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me!"

When the man hear talk of the King, he got scared. It make him shake in his shoes. He say, "Take Boo-Boo Black Sheep and go along! You done fetch me bad luck!"

Then Tinktum Tidy fastened Boo-Boo Black Sheep with a rope, and led him off down the big road. By and by he come to where there was another town, and he went and put up at the tavern. When bedtime come he call the man. 

He allow, "Here Boo-Boo Black Sheep that kill the Big Gander, that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me. I'll tie him here to the bedstead 'cause I'm feared the Brindle Cow'll hook him."

Man say, "Brindle Cow can't get him in here."

'Twixt midnight and day, Tinktum Tidy got up and kill the Black Sheep and put him in the lot with the Brindle Cow. Then he got up soon in the morning, and begun to holler.  He allow, "I told you so! I told you so! The Brindle Cow done kill Boo-Boo Black Sheep that kill the Big Gander that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me!"

This make the man feel scared. He say, "Take the Brindle Cow and go!"

Tinktum Tidy led the Brindle Cow off down the road and make his way to the next town. He got there by the time night come, and put up at the tavern. When bedtime come, he took and call the man. He allow, "Here the Brindle Cow that kill the Boo-Boo Black Sheep that kill the Big Gander that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me. I'll tie her here by the chimney, where the Roan Horse can't get her."

The man say, "I know mighty well the Roan Horse can't get her here."

Just 'fore day Tinktum Tidy took the Brindle Cow in the stable and made way with her. Then when daylight come he begun to holler. He allow, "I told you so! I told you so! The Roan Horse done kill the Brindle Cow that kill the Boo-Boo Black Sheep that kill the Big Gander that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me."

The man get scared when he hear the name of the King, and he say, "Take the Roan Horse and go on where you going!"

Tinktum Tidy got on the Roan Horse and went trotting down the big road. He went on and went on, he did, till he come to a place where he had to cross a creek. Close by the road he seed a old man setting. He look at the old man and the old man look at him. 

By and by the old man say, "Howdy, son!"

Tinktum Tidy say, "Howdy, Grandsir!"

The old man allow, "Son, come wipe my eyes!"

Tinktum Tidy say, "I'll wipe 'em, Grandsir, if so be it'll do you any good." Then he got down off of the Roan Horse and wipe the old man's eyes. 

The old man say, "Thanky-do, son! Thanky-do!"

Tinktum Tidy say, "You are more than welcome, Grandsir!" Then he got on the Roan Horse and was about to ride off.

The old man allow, "Son, come scratch my head!"

Tinktum Tidy say, "I'll scratch your head, Grandsir, if so be it'll do you any good." Then he got down off of the Roan Horse and scratch the old man's head.

The old man say, "Thanky-do, son! Thanky-do!"

Tinktum Tidy say, "You are more than welcome, Grandsir!"

Then he start for to ride off again, but the old man allow, "Son, come help me up!

Tinktum Tidy say, "I'll help you up, Grandsir, if so be it'll do you any good!"

So he went and helped him up, and it seem like that when the old man got on his foots his strength come back. He straighten up, he did, and look lots younger than what he did. 

He allow, "Son, I been sitting here going on ten year, and you are the onliest one that ever do what I ask 'em. Some laugh at me, and some cuss at me, but all went on their way, and every one that pass fell in with eleven robbers what live down the road a piece and got robbed. Now beings as you done what I asked you, I'm more than willing for to do what you ask me."

With that, Tinktum Tidy up and told the old man how come he to be going along there, and about how the King want him to fetch back eleven strong men for to go in the army. 

The old man allow, "Son, they are waiting for you right down the road. Keep right on till you come to where there's a big white house. Ride 'round that house seven times one way and seven times the other way, and say the words that come in your head. Don't get scared, 'cause I won't be so mighty far off."

Tinktum Tidy ride off down the road, he did, and went on till he come to the big white house. Then he ride 'round it seven times one way and seven times the other way.  He allow, "This is the Roan Horse that kill the Brindle Cow that kill the Boo-Boo Black Sheep that kill the Big Gander that eat the eleven grains of corn the King give me. I want eleven strong men for the King's army."

And bless your soul, the door of the big white house flewed open, and eleven strong men come marching out. By that time the old man had come up, and they ask him what they must do. 

He allow, "Mount your horses, sons, and go join the King's army!"

So they went, and the King was mighty proud. He look 'round at everybody and say, "I told you so!" and he fix it up so that Tinktum Tidy had just as much as he can eat and wear, and mighty little work for to do all the balance of his days.

C110. Why the Guineas Stay Awake

5: Why the Guineas Stay Awake. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story. Also, I have left out a comment from the frame which is of interest because Harris himself had the guineas screaming "Pot-rack!" in an earlier story: "Some folks say that they holler, "Pot-rack! Pot-rack!" but them what talk that away is mostly white folks, and they ain't know nothing at all about them old times. Master John or Miss Sally might know, but if they does I ain't hear 'em say so."

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One time 'way long back yonder them guineas was just as drowsy when night come as any of the other folks. They'd go to roost, they would, and they'd drop off to sleep time their head touch the pillow. No sooner did they get up on the roost than they drop off to sleep, and they kept on that away till by and by one time Brer Fox made up he mind that he better be kind of sociable and pay 'em a call after they done gone to bed.

There was times, when Brer Fox took a notion for to walk about in the daytime, but most always in general he done he promenading 'twixt sundown and sun-up. I don't know what time of night it was when Brer Fox call on the guineas, but I expect it was long towards the shank er the evening, as you may say.

Yet, soon or late, when he got to where the guineas live at, he found 'em all sound asleep. Now, some folks when they go anywheres for to make theyself sociable, and find everybody fast asleep, would've turn 'round and made their way back home; but Brer Fox ain't that kind of man. Them guineas roost so low and they look so fine and fat that it make Brer Fox feel like they was his first cousin.

He sat down on his hunkers, Brer Fox did, and he look at 'em and grin. Then he allow to hisself, "I'll just shake hands with one of 'em and then I'll go."

Well, Brer Fox went up and shook hands with one of 'em, and he must've squoze mighty hard, 'cause the guinea make a mighty flutterment ; and he must've held on with a mighty tight grip, 'cause when he took off his hat and bowed good-by the guinea went along with him.

Well, sir, you never is hear tell of such a racket as them guineas kicked up when they discover that Brer Fox done make off with one of 'em. They squall and they squall till they rousted up the whole neighborhoods. The dogs got to barking, the owls got to hooting, the hosses got to kicking, the cows got to lowing, and the chickens got to crowing.

And more than that, the guineas was that scared that they turn right pale on the neck and on the gills, and if you don't believe me you can go up there in the garden and look at 'em for yourself.

And more than that, they got scared so bad that from that day to this they don't sleep sound at night. They may squat 'round in the shade and nod in the daytime, though I ain't caught 'em at it, and they may sort of nod after they go to roost at night; but if a betsy bug flies by 'em, or yet if a sparrow flutters in the bushes, they are wide awake; they most surely is.

It seem like to me, that they must be haunted in their dreams by old Brer Fox, 'cause all times of night you can hear 'em going on, "L-o-o-o-o-k, look, look! There he is, there he is! Go 'way, go 'way!"

C112. The Creature With No Claws

7: The Creature With No Claws. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time Brer Wolf was going along the big road feeling mighty proud and high-strung. He was a mighty high-up man in them days, Brer Wolf was, and most all the other critters was feared of him. Well, he was going along licking his chops and walking sort of stiff-kneed, when he happen to look down upon the ground and there he seed a track in the sand. Brer Wolf stop, he did, and look at it, and then he allow, "Heyo! What kind of critter this here? Brer Dog ain't make that track, and neither is Brer Fox. It's one of these here kind of critters what ain't got no claws. I'll just about follow him up, and if I catch him he'll surely be my meat."

That the way Brer Wolf talk. He followed along after the track, he did, and he look at it close, but he ain't see no print or no claw. By and by the track took and turn out the road and go up a drain where the rain done wash out. The track was plain there in the wet sand, but Brer Wolf ain't see no sign of no claws. 

He follow and follow, Brer Wolf did, and the track get fresher and fresher, but still he ain't see no print or no claw. By and by he come in sight of the critter, and Brer Wolf stop, he did, and look at him. He stop stock-still and look. 

The critter was mighty queer looking, and he was cutting up some mighty queer capers. He had big head, sharp nose, and bob tail, and he was walking 'round and 'round a big dogwood tree, rubbing his sides again it. Brer Wolf watch him a right smart while, and then he allow, "Shoo! That critter done been in a fight and lost the best part of he tail, and more than that, he got the itch, 'cause if he ain't got the itch what make he scratch hisself that away? I lay I'll let him know who he fooling along with."

After while, Brer Wolf went up a little nigher the critter, and holler out, "Heyo, there! What you doing scratching your scaly hide on my tree, and trying for to break it down?"

The critter ain't make no answer. He just walk 'round and 'round the tree scratching he sides and back. 

Brer Wolf holler out, "I lay I'll make you hear me if I had to come there where you is."

The critter just walk 'round and 'round the tree, and ain't make no answer. Then Brer Wolf hail him again, and talk like he mighty mad, "Ain't you going to mind me, you impudent scoundrel? Ain't you going to mosey out of my woods and let my tree alone?"

With that, Brer Wolf march towards just critter just like he going to squash him in the ground. The critter rub hisself against the tree and look like he feel mighty good. Brer Wolf keep on going towards him, and by and by when he get sort of close the critter took and sat up on his behind legs just like you see squirrels do.

Then Brer Wolf, he allow, he did, "Ah-yi! You begging, is you? But it ain't going to do you no good. I might've let you off if you'd a-minded me when I first holler after you, but I ain't going to let you off now. I'm a-going to learn you a lesson that'll stick by you."

Then the critter sort of wrinkle up his face and mouth, and Brer Wolf allow, "Oh, you needn't to swell up and cry, you deceitful villain. I'm a-going to give you a flailing that I bound here won't forget."

Brer Wolf make like he going to hit the critter, and then, well, sir, that critter just fetch one swipe this a-way, and another swipe that a-way, and most 'fore you can wink your eye-balls, Brer Wolf hide was mighty nigh teetotally tored off of him.

After that the critter sauntered off in the woods and begun to rub hisself on another tree. It weren't nobody on the topside of the earth but old Brer Wildcat.