C106. Crazy Sue's Story

1: Crazy Sue's Story. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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The frogs made so much fuss 'cause they are mad with Mr. Rabbit. They are trying their best to drive him out of the swamp. It's one of them old-time fusses. It's most too old to talk about.

One time Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Coon live close to one another in the same neighborhoods. How they does now, I ain't a-telling you; but in them times there wasn't no hard feelings 'twixt 'em. They just went along like two old cronies. Mr. Rabbit, he was a fisherman, and Mr. Coon, he was a fisherman — Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Coon was both fishermans, but Mr. Rabbit, he catch fish, and Mr. Coon, he fished for frogs. Mr. Rabbit, he had mighty good luck, and Mr. Coon, he had mighty bad luck. Mr. Rabbit, he got fat and slick, and Mr. Coon, he got poor and sick.

It went on this a-way till one day Mr. Coon meet Mr. Rabbit in the big road. They shook hands, they did, and then Mr. Coon, he allow, "Brer Rabbit, where you get such a fine chance of fish?"

Mr. Rabbit laugh and say, "I catch 'em out of the river, Brer Coon. All I got to do is to bait my hook," says he.

Then Mr. Coon shake his head and allow, "Then how come I ain't can catch no frogs?"

Mr. Rabbit sat down in the road and scratched for fleas, and then he allow, "It's 'cause you done make 'em all mad, Brer Coon. One time in the dark of the moon, you slipped down to the branch an' catch the old King Frog; and ever since that time, whenever you are passing by, you can hear 'em sing out, first one an' then another — Here he come! There he goes! Hit him in the eye! Hit him in the eye! Mash him and smash him; mash him and smash him! Yes sir, that what they say. I hear 'em constant, Brer Coon, and that just what they say."

Then Mr. Coon up and say, "If that the way they goin' on, how the name of goodness can I catch 'em, Brer Rabbit? I pleased to have somethin' to eat for me an' my family connection."

Mr. Rabbit sort of grin in the corner of his mouth, and then he say, "Well, Brer Coon, bein' as you been so sociable 'long with me, an' ain't never showed yo' toothies when I pull yo' tail, I'll just whirl in an' help you out."

Mr. Coon, he say, "Thanky, thanky-do, Brer Rabbit."

Mr. Rabbit hung his fish on a tree limb, and say, "Now, Brer Coon, you pleased to do just like I tell you."

Mr. Coon allowed that he would if the Lord spared him.

Then Mr. Rabbit say, "Now, Brer Coon, you just rack down yonder, an' get on the big sand-bar 'twixt the river an' the branch. When you get there you must stagger like you sick, an' then you must whirl round an' round an' drop down like you dead. After you drop down, you must sort of jerk yo' legs once or twice, an' then you must lay right still. If fly light on yo' nose, let him stay there. Don't move; don't wink yo' eye; don't switch yo' tail. Just lay right there, and 'twon't be long 'fore you hear from me. Yet don't you move till I give the word."

Mr. Coon, he paced off, he did, and done just like Mr. Rabbit told him. He staggered round on the sand-bank, and then he dropped down dead. After so long a time, Mr. Rabbit come loping along, and soon as he get there, he squall out, "Coon dead!" This rousted the frogs, and they stuck their heads up for to see what all the rippit was about. One great big green one up and holler, "What the matter? What the matter?" He talk like he got a bad cold.

Mr. Rabbit allow, "Coon dead!"

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Frog say, "Don't believe it! Don't believe it!

Another frog say, "Yes, he is! Yes, he is!" Little bit of one say, "No, he ain't! No, he ain't!"

They kept on disputing and disputing, till by and by it look like all the frogs in the neighborhoods was there.

Mr. Rabbit look like he ain't a-hearing nor a-caring what they do or say. He sat there in the sand like he going in mourning for Mr. Coon. The Frogs kept getting closer and closer. Mr. Coon, he ain't move. When a fly'd get on him, Mr. Rabbit he'd brush him off.

By and by he allow, "If you want to get him out of the way, now's your time, Cousin Frogs. Just whirl in an' bury him deep in the sand."

Big old Frog say, "How we goin' to do it? How we goin' to do it?"

Mr. Rabbit allow, "Dig the sand out from under him and let him down in the hole."

Then the Frogs they went to work sure enough. There must've been a hundred of 'em, and they make that sad fly, man. Mr. Coon, he ain't move. The Frogs, they dig and scratch in the sand till after while they had a right smart hole, and Mr. Coon was down in there.

By and by big Frog holler, "This deep enough? This deep enough?"

Mr. Rabbit allow, "Can you jump out?"

Big Frog say, "Yes, I can! Yes, I can!"

Mr. Rabbit say, "Then 'tain't deep enough."

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Then the Frogs they dig and they dig, till, by and by, Big Frog say, "This deep enough? This deep enough?"

Mr. Rabbit allow, "Can you jump out?"

Big Frog say, "I just can! I just can!"

Mr. Rabbit say, "Dig it deeper."

Then Frogs keep on digging till by and by, big Frog holler out, "This deep enoug? This deep enoug?"

Mr. Rabbit allow, "Can you jump out?"

Big Frog say, "No, I can't! No, I can't! Come help me! Come help me!"

Mr. Rabbit bust out laughing, and holler out, "Rise up, Sandy, and get your meat!" and Mr. Coon riz.

C107. How a Witch Was Caught

2: How a Witch Was Caught. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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HOW A WITCH WAS CAUGHT

One time there was a miller man what live by a river and had a mill. He was a mighty smart man. He took so much toll that he took and buyed him a house, and he want to rent that there house out to folks, but the folks they allowed that the house was haunted. They'd come and rent the house, they would, and move in there, and then go upstairs and go to bed. They'd go to bed, they would, but they couldn't sleep, and time it got day they'd get out of that house.

The miller man, he asked 'em what the matter was, but they just shook their head and allow the house was haunted. Then he took and try to find out what kind of haunt she was that scare folks. He sleep in the house, but he ain't see nothing, and the most what he hear was a big old gray cat a-promenading round and hollering.

By and by it got so that they want no fun in having the haunted house, and when folks'd come along the miller man, he'd just up and tell 'em that the house was haunted. Some'd go up and some wouldn't, but them what went up didn't stay, 'cause just about bedtime they'd fetch a yell and just come a-rushing down, and all the money in the United States of Georgia wouldn't get 'em for to go back up there.

It went on this away till one time a preacher man come along there and say he wanted somewheres to stay. He was a great big man, and he look like he was good according. The miller man say he hate mighty bad for to disaccommodate him, but he disappointedly ain't got no place where he can put him except that there haunted house. The preacher man say he just soon stay there as anywheres, 'cause he been living in these low-grounds of sorrow too long for to be set back by any one-horse haunts. The miller man allowed that he was a-feared the haunts'd worry him mightily, but the preacher man allow, he did, that he used to being worried, and he up and tell the miller man that he'd a heap rather stay in the house with the haunt, no matter how big she is, than to stay out doors in the rain.

So the miller man, he allow he ain't got no more apology for to make, 'cause if the preacher man was ready for to face the haunts and set up there and out blink 'em, they wouldn't be nobody in the round world no gladder than him. Then the miller man showed the preacher man how to get in the house and had him a great big fire built. And after the miller man was done gone, the preacher man drawed a chair up to the fire and waited for the haunts, but they ain't no haunts come. Then when they ain't no haunts come, the preacher man took and open up he satchel and got him out some spare ribs and sat 'em by the fire for to cook, and then he got down and said he prayers, and then he got up and read he Bible. He was a mighty good man, man, and he prayed and read a long time. By and by, when his spare ribs get done, he got some bread out of he satchel, and fixed for to eat his supper.

By the time he got all the meat off of one of the ribs, the preacher man listened, and he heared a monstrous scrambling and scratching on the wall. He look 'round, he did, and there was a great big black cat a-sharpening her claws on the door facing. Folks, don't talk! That there cat was of sight! Great long white tooths and great big yellow eye-balls a-shining like they was lit up way back in her head. She stood there a minute, that old black cat did, and then she begun to sidle up like she was going to mount that preacher man right there and then. But the preacher man, he just shooed at her, and it seem like this sort of scared her, 'cause she went off.

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But the preacher man, he kept his eye open, and held on to his spare rib. Presently he hear the old black cat coming back, and this time she fetch with her a great big gang of cats. They was all black just like she was, and their eye-balls shineded and their lashes was long and white. it look like the preacher man was a-going to get surroundered.

They come a-sidling up, they did, and the old black cat made a pass at the preacher man like she was a-going to tear he eyes out. The preacher man dodged, but the next pass she made, the preacher man fetch her wipe with his spare rib and cut off one of her toes. With that the old black cat fetch a yell that you might a-heard a mile, and then she give herself a sort of a twist and made her disappearance up the chimney, and when she do that all the other cats made their disappearance up the chimney. The preacher man he got up, he did, and looked under the bed for to see if he can find any more cats, but they was all done gone. 

Then he took and pick up the cat toe what he done knock off with the spare rib, and wrap it up in a piece of paper and put it in he pocket. Then he say his prayers some more, and went to bed and slept right straight along till broad daylight, and nothing ain't darest to bother him. 

Next morning the preacher man got up, he did, and say his prayers and eat his breakfast, and then he allow to hisself that he'll go by and tell the miller man that he mighty much obliged. Before he start, it come across he mind about the cats what pester him the night before, and he took and feel in he pockets for the big black cat toe what he done cut off with the spare rib. But it seems like the toe done grow in the night, and bless goodness! When he unwrap it it weren't nothing less than a great big finger with a ring on it. 

So the preacher man took and fix up all his contrapments, and then call on the miller man and told him he was mighty much obliged 'cause he let him stay in the house. The miller man was astonished for to see the preacher man, 'cause he knew that when folks stay all night in that house they ain't come down no more. He was astonished, but he didn't say much. He just stand still and wonder. 

But the preacher man, he up and ask about the miller man's wife, and say he wants to see her and tell her good-bye, being as how they'd all been so good. So the miller man, he took and carry the preacher into the room where his wife was laying in bed. The old woman had the counterpane drawed up under her chin, but she look mighty bad round the eyes. Yet, she took and howdied the preacher man and told him he was mighty welcome. 

They talk and talk, they did, and after while the preacher man hold out his hand for to tell the woman good-bye; but the woman, she held out her left hand, she did, like she want that for to get shooken. But the preacher man wouldn't shake that one. He say that ain't nigh going to do, 'cause when folks got any politeness left they don't never hold out the left hand. The woman she say her right was cripple, but her old man allow he ain't never hear about that before, and then he took and make her pull it out from under the cover, and then they seed that one of her fingers was done clean gone. 

The miller man he up and allow,"How come this?"

The woman she allow, "I cut it off."

The miller man he allow, "How you cut it off?" 

The woman she allow, "I knock it off?" 

The miller man he allow, "Whereabouts you knock it off?" 

The woman she allow, "I broke it off." 

The miller man he allow, "When you break it off?" 

Then the woman she ain't say nothing. She just lay there, she did, and pant and look scared. 

The preacher man he study a little and then he say he expect he can cure that hand, and he took the finger out and he pocket and tried it on the woman's hand, and it fit! Yes sir! It fit in the place right smick smack smooth. 

Then the preacher man he up and tell the miller man that the woman was a witch, and with that the woman fetched a yell and covered her head with the counterpane. 

Yet this ain't do her no good, 'cause the preacher man say he done look in the books and the onliest way for to cure a witch is to burn her; and it ain't look so bad, neither, 'cause when they tied her she took and turn to be a great big black cat, and that's the way she was when she was burnt.

C108. The Little Boy and His Dogs

3: The Little Boy and His Dogs. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story. Also, I have left out the part about the little girl being white; I read that as a part of the frametale appealing to the audience; the frametale audience has also insinuated himself into the illustration too, where the little boy is white.

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One time, there was a woman living alongside of the big road, and this here woman she had one little boy. He was a mighty smart little boy, and his mammy set lots by him. Seem like she ain't never have no luck excepting along with that boy, 'cause there was one time when she had a little gal, and, bless your soul! Somebody come along and tote the little gal off, and when that happen the woman ain't have no more little gal, and the little boy ain't have no more little sister. this make both of 'em mighty sorry, but look like the little boy was the sorriest, 'cause he show it the mostest.

Some days he'd take a notion for to go and hunt his little sister, and then he'd go down the big road and climb a big pine-tree, and get right spang in the top, and look all round for to see if he can't see his little sister somewheres in the woods. He couldn't see her, but he'd stay up there in the tree and swing in the wind and allow to hisself that maybe he might see her by and by. 

One day, whiles he was a-sitting up there, he see two mighty fine ladies walking down the road. He climb down out of the tree, he did, and run and told his mammy. Then she up and ask, "How is they dress, honey?"

"Mighty fine, mammy, mighty fine, puffy-out petticoats and long green veils."

"How just they look, honey?"

"Spick span new, mammy."

"They ain't none of our kin, is they, honey?"

"That they ain't, mammy — they are mighty fine ladies."

The fine ladies, they come on down the road, they did, and stop by the woman's house, and beg her for to please and give 'em some water. The little boy, he run and fetch 'em a gourd full, and they put the gourd under their veils, and drunk, and drunk, and drunk just like they was mighty nigh perish for water. 

The little boy watch 'em. Directly he holler out, "Mammy, mammy! What you reckon? They are lapping the water."

The woman hollered back, "I reckon that's the way the quality folks does, honey."

Then the ladies beg for some bread, and the little boy took 'em a pone. They eat it like they was mighty nigh famish for bread. 

By and by the little boy holler out and say, "Mammy, mammy! What you reckon? They got great long tooths." 

The woman, she holler back, "I reckon all the quality folks is got 'em, honey."

Then the ladies ask for some water for to wash their hands, and the little boy brung 'em some. He watch 'em, and by and by he holler out, "Mammy, mammy! What you reckon? They got little bit of hairy hands and arms."

The woman, she holler back, "I reckon all the quality folks is got 'em, honey."

Then the ladies beg the woman for to please and let the little boy show 'em where the big road forks. But the little boy don't want to go. He holler out, "Mammy, folks don't have to be showed where the road forks." 

But the woman she allow, "I reckon the quality folks does, honey."

The little boy, he begun to whimper and cry 'cause he don't want to go with the ladies, but the woman say he ought to be ashamed of hisself for to be going on that away 'fore the quality folks, and more than that, he might run upon his little sister and fetch her home. 

Now this here little boy had two mighty bad dogs. One of 'em was named Minnyminny Morack, and the the other one was name Follerlinsko, and they was so bad they had to be tied in the yard day and night, except when they was a-hunting. 

So the little boy, he went and got a pan of water and set him down in the middle of the floor and then he went and got him a willow limb, and he stuck it in the ground. Then he allow, "Mammy, when the water in this here pan turns to blood, then you run out and turn loose Minnyminny Morack and Follerlinsko, and then when you see that there willow limb a-shaking, you run and sick 'em on my track."

The woman, she up and say she'd turn the dogs loose, and then the little boy he stuck his hands in he pockets and went on down the road a whistling just same as any other little boy, except that he was lots smarter. He went on down the road, he did, and the fine quality ladies they come on behind. 

The further he went the faster he walk. This make the quality ladies walk fast, too, and it weren't so mighty long till the little boy hear 'em making a mighty curious fuss, and when he turn 'round, bless gracious! They was a-panting, 'cause they was so tired and hot. The little boy allow to hisself that it mighty curious how ladies can pant same as a wild varmint, but he say he expect that the way the quality ladies does when they gets hot and tired, and he make like he can't hear 'em, 'cause he want to be nice and polite. 

After a while, when the quality ladies think the little boy weren't looking at 'em, he seed one of 'em drop down on her all-fours and trot along just like a varmint, and it weren't long 'fore the other one dropped down on her all-fours. 

Then the little boy allowed , "Shoo! If that the way quality ladies rest theirself when they get tired I reckon a little chap about my size better be fixing for to rest hisself." So he look 'round, he did, and he took and pick him out a great big pine-tree by the side of the road, and begun to climb it. 

Then when they see that, one of the quality ladies allow, "My goodness! What in the world you up to now?"

Little boy he say, says he, "I'm just a-climbing a tree for to rest my bones."

Ladies, they allow, "Whyn't you rest 'em on the ground?"

Little boy say, says he, "Because I like to get up where it cool and high."

The quality ladies, they took and walk 'round and 'round the tree like they was measuring it for to see how big it is. By and by, after while they say, says they, "Little boy, little boy! You better come down from there and show us the way to the forks of the road." 

Then the little boy allow, "Just keep right on, ladies — you'll find the forks of the road; you can't miss 'em. I'm afeared for to come down, 'cause I might fall and hurt some of you all."

The ladies they say, says they, "You better come down here 'fore we run and tell your mammy how bad you is."

The little boy allow, "Whiles you are telling her please and tell her how scared I is."

Then the quality ladies got mighty mad. They walked 'round that tree and fairly snorted. They pulled off their bonnets, and their veils, and their dresses, and, lo and beholds! The little boy seen they was two great big panthers. They had great big eyes, and big sharp tooths, and great long tails, and they look up at the little boy and growl and grin at him till he come mighty nigh having a chill. They tried to climb the tree, but they had done trim their claws so they could get on gloves, and they couldn't climb no more. 

Then one of 'em sat down in the road and made a curious mark in the sand, and their great long tails turned to axes, and no sooner is their tails turn to axes than they begun to cut the tree down. I ain't dares to tell you how sharp them axes was, 'cause you wouldn't nigh believe me. One of 'em stood on one side of the tree, and the other one stood on the other side, and they whack at that tree like they was taking a holiday. They whack out chips as big as your hat, and it weren't so mighty long 'fore the tree was ready for to fall. 

But whiles the little boy was sitting up there, scared mighty nigh to death, it come into his mind that he had some eggs in his pocket what he done brung with him for to eat whenever he get hungry. He took out one of the eggs and broke it, and say, "Place, fill up!" 

And, bless your soul! The place fill up sure enough, and the tree look just exactly like nobody ain't been a-cutting on it. 

But them there panthers they was very vigorous, they just spit on their hands and cut away. When they get the tree mighty nigh cut down the little boy he pull out another egg and broke it, and say, "Place, fill up!" and by the time he say it the tree was done made sound again. 

They kept on this away till the little boy begun to get scared again. He done broke all he eggs, excepting one, and them there critters was just a-cutting away like they was venomous, which they most surely was. 

Just about that time the little boy mammy happen to stumble over the pan of water what was sitting down on the floor, and there it was all done turn to blood. Then she took and run and unloose Minnyminny Morack and Follerlinsko. Then when she do that she see the willow limb a-shaking, and then she put the dogs on the little boy track, and away they went. 

The little boy hear 'em a-coming, and he holler out, "Come on, my good dogs. Here, dogs, here."

The panthers they stop chopping and listen. One ask the other one what she hear. Little boy say, "You don't hear nothing. Go on with your chopping."

The panthers they chop some more, and then they think they hear the dogs a-coming. Then they try their best for to get away, but it weren't no use. They ain't got time for to change their axes back into tails, and course they can't run with axes dragging behind 'em. So the dogs catch 'em. 

The little boy, he allow, "Shake 'em and bite 'em. Drag 'em 'round and 'round till you drag 'em two mile." So the dogs they drag 'em 'round two mile. 

Then the little boy say, says he, "Shake 'em and tear 'em. Drag 'em 'round and 'round till you drag 'em ten mile." So they drag 'em ten mile, and by the time they got back, the panthers was cold and stiff.

Then the little boy climbed down out of the tree, and sat down for to rest hisself. By and by after while, he allow to hisself that being he have so much fun, he believe he takes his dogs and go way off in the woods for to see if he can't find his little sister. 

He call his dogs, he did, and went off in the woods, and they ain't been gone so mighty far 'fore he seed a house in the woods away off by itself. The dogs they went up and smelt 'round, they did, and come with their bristles up, but the little boy allow he'd go up there anyhow and see what the dogs was mad about. So he call the dogs and went towards the house, and when he got close up he saw a little gal toting wood and water. She was a mighty pretty little gal, but her clothes was all in rags, and she was crying 'cause she had to work so hard. Minnyminny Morack and Follerlinsko wagged their tails when they seed the little gal, and the little boy know'd by that that she was his sister. 

So he went up and ask her what her name is, and she say she don't know what her name is, 'cause she so scared she done forget. Then he ask her what the name of goodness she crying about, and she say she crying 'cause she had to work so hard. Then he ask her who the house belong tp, and she allow it belong to a great big old black Bear, and this old Bear make her tote wood and water all the time. She say the water is to go in the big wash-pot, and the wood is for to make the pot boil, and the pot was to cook folks what the great big old Bear brung home to he chilluns. 

The little boy didn't tell the little gal that he was her brother, but he allow that he was going to stay and eat supper with the big old Bear. The little girl cried and allow he better not, but the little boy say he ain't feared for to eat supper with a Bear. 

So they went in the house, and when the little; boy got in there, he seed that the Bear had two great big chilluns, and one of 'em was squatting on the bed, and the other one was squatting down in the hearth. The chilluns, they was both of 'em named Cubs, to short, but the little boy weren't scared of 'em, 'cause there was his dogs for to make away with 'em if they so much as roll their eye-ball. 

The old Bear was a mighty long time coming back, so the little gal she up and fix supper, anyhow, and the little boy he took and scrounge Cubs first on one side and then on other, and him and the little gal got much as they want. After supper the little boy told the little gal that he'd take and comb her hair just to while away the time; but the little gal hair ain't been comb for so long, and it am got in such a tange, that it make the poor critter cry for to hear anybody talking about combing of it. Then the little boy allow he ain't going to hurt her, and he took and warm some water in a pan and put it on her hair, and then he comb and curled it just as nice as you most ever see. 

When the old Bear get home he was mighty took aback when he seed he had company, and when he see 'em all sitting down like they come then for to stay. But he was mighty polite, and he shook hands all 'round, and sat down by the fire and dry his boots, and ask about the crops, and allow that the weather would be monstrous fine if they could get a little season of rain. 

Then he took and make a great admiration over the little gal's hair, and he ask the little boy how in the round world can he curl it and fix it so nice; the little one allow it's easy enough. Then the old Bear say he believe he like to get his hair curled up that way, and the little boy say, "Fill the big pot with water."

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The old Bear filled the pot with water. Then the little boy say, "Build a fire under the pot and heat the water hot."

When the water got scalding hot, the little boy say, "All ready, now. Stick your head in. It's the onliest way for to make your hair curl."

Then the old Bear stuck he head in the water, and that was the last of him, bless gracious! The scalding water curled the hair till it come off, and I expect that where they get the idea about putting bear grease on folks' hair. The young Bears they cry like everything when they see how their daddy been treated, and they want bite and scratch the little boy and his sister, but them dogs — that Minnyminny Morack and that Follerlinsko — they just laid hold of them there Bears, and there weren't enough left of 'em to feed a kitten.

The little boy took and carried his sister home, and his mammy says she ain't never going to set no store by folks with fine clothes, 'cause they so deceitful; no, never, so long as the Lord might spare her. 

C109. How Black Snake Caught the Wolf

4: How Black Snake Caught the Wolf. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time, Brer Rabbit and old Brer Wolf was going down the road together, and Brer Wolf, he allow that times was mighty hard and money scarce.

Brer Rabbit, he agree along with him, he did, that times was mighty tight, and he up and say that it was in about much as he can do for to make both ends meet. He allow, he did, "Brer Wolf, you are getting mighty gaunt, and it won't be so mighty long 'fore we'll have to be took up and put in the poor-house. What make this?" says Brer Rabbit, says he; "I'll be blessed if I can tell, 'cause here are all the critters getting gaunt whiles all the reptiles is a-getting seal fat. No longer than yesterday, I was coming along through the woods. When who should I meet but old Brer Snake, and he was that put that he ain't can scarcely pull he tail along after he head. I allow to meself, I did, that this here country getting in a mighty bad way when the critters is got to go 'round with their ribs growing together whiles the reptiles laying up in the sun just naturally fattening on their own laziness. Yes sir, that what I allowed."

Brer Wolf, he say, he did, that if the reptiles was getting the advantage of the critters that a-way, that it was about time for to clean out the reptiles or leave the country, and he allow, furthermore, that he was ready far to join in with the patter-rollers and drive 'em out.

But Brer Rabbit, he allow, he did, that the best way for to get along was to find out whereabouts the reptiles had their smoke-house and go in there and get some of* the vittles what by good rights belonged to the critters. 

Brer Wolf say maybe this the best way, 'cause if the reptiles get word that the patter-rollers is a-coming they'll take and hide the gingercakes, and their persimmon beer, and their whats-his-names, so that the critters can't get 'em. By this time they come to the forks of the road, and Brer Rabbit he went one way, and Brer Wolf he went the other. 

Where Brer Wolf went, the goodness knows, but Brer Rabbit, he went on down the road towards he own house, and whiles he was lippiting long, nibbling a bite here and a bite there, he hear a mighty curious fuss in the woods. He lay low, Brer Rabbit did, and listen. He look sharp, he did, and by and by he catch a glimpse of old Mr. Black Snake going along through the grass. Brer Rabbit, he lay low and watch him. Mr. Black Snake crept along, he did, just like he was greased. Brer Rabbit say to hisself, "Hi! There goes one of the reptiles, and as she slips, she slides along."

Yet, still he lay low and watch. Mr. Black Snake crept along, he did, and by and by he come where there was a great big poplar-tree. Brer Rabbit, he crept on his belly and follow along after. Mr. Black Snake took and circle all 'round the tree, and then he stop and sing out, 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

And den, most 'fore Brer Rabbit can wink he eye, a door what was in the tree flewed open, and Mr. Black Snake took and crawl in. Brer Rabbit allow, he did, "Ah-yi! There where you stay! There where you keeps your persimmon beer! There where you hides your backbone and spare ribs. Ah-yi!"

When Mr. Black Snake went in the house, Brer Rabbit crept up, he did, and listen for to see what he can hear going on in there. But he ain't hear nothing. By and by, whiles he sitting 'round there, he hear the same song:

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

And most 'fore Brer Rabbit can hide in the weeds, the door it flewed open, and out Mr. Black Snake slid. He slid out, he did, and slid off, and after he get out of sight, Brer Rabbit, he took and went back to the poplar-tree for to see if he can get in there. He hunt 'round and he hunt 'round, and yet ain't find no door. Then he sat up on he behind legs, old Brer Rabbit did, and allow, "Hey! What kind of contraption this here? I seed a door there just now, but there ain't no door there now."

Old Brer Rabbit scratch he head, he did, and by and by it come into he mind that maybe the song got something or other to do with it, and with that he chimed up, he did, and sing,

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Bandario, wo-haw! 

Time he say first part, the door sort of open, but when he say the last part it slammed shut again. Then he tune up some more:

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Bandario, wo-haw! 

Time he say the first part the door open little ways, but time he say the last part it slammed shut again. Then Brer Rabbit allow he'd hang 'round there and find out what kind of hinges that there door was a-swinging on. So he stays 'round there, he did, till by and by Mr. Black Snake came long back. 

Brer Rabbit crept up, he did, and he hear him sing the song:

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

Then the door open, and Mr. Black Snake, he slid in, and Brer Rabbit, he lipped off in the bushes and sung the song by hisself. Then he went home and took some rest, and next day he went back; and when Mr. Black Snake come out and went off, Brer Rabbit, he took and sing the song, and the door fiewed open, and in he went. He went in, he did, and when he got in there, he find lots of goodies. He find cakes and sausages, and all sort of nice doings. 

Then he come out, and the next day he went he told old Brer Wolf, and Brer Wolf, he allow that, being as times is hard, he believe he'll go along and sample some of Mr. Black Snake's doings. 

They went, they did, and soon as they find that Mr. Black Snake is gone, Brer Rabbit he sing the song, and the door open, and in he went. He went in there, he did, and he gobbled up his bellyful, and whiles he doing this Brer Wolf he gallop 'round and 'round, trying for to get in. But the door done slam shut, and Brer Wolf ain't know the song. 

By and by Brer Rabbit he come out, he did, licking he chops and wiping he mustache, and Brer Wolf ask him what the name of goodness is the reason he ain't let him go in along with him. 

Brer Rabbit, he vow, he did, that he expected any gump'd know that somebody got to stay outside and watch whiles the other one was on the inside. Brer Wolf say he ain't thunk of that, and then he ask Brer Rabbit for to let him in, and please be so good as to stay out there and watch whiles he get some of the goodies.

With that Brer Rabbit, he sung the song: 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

Watsilla, watsilla, 

Consario wo! 

He sung the song, he did, and the door flewed open, and Brer Wolf he leaped in, and begun to gobble up the goodies. Brer Rabbit, he stayed outside, and make like he going to watch. Brer Wolf, he et and et, and he keep on a-eating. 

Brer Rabbit, he took and stand off in the bushes, and by and by he hear Mr. Black Snake a-sliding through the grass. Brer Rabbit, he ain't say nothing. He allow to hisself, he did, that he was there to watch, and that what he going to do if the good Lord spare him. So he sat there and watch, and Mr. Black Snake, he come a-sliding up to the house and sing the song, and then the door flewed open and in he went. 

Brer Rabbit sat there and watch so hard, he did, that it look like he eyes going to pop out. It weren't long 'fore he hear something or other like a scuttle going on in the poplar-tree, and, first news you know, Brer Wolf come tumbling out. 

He come tumbling out, he did, and down he fell, 'cause Mr. Black Snake got him tied hard and fast so he ain't can run. 

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Then, after so long a time, Mr. Black Snake took and tie Brer Wolf up to a limb, and there that critter swung 'twixt the heaven and the earth. He swung and swayed, and every time he swung Mr. Black Snake took and lash him with he tail, and every time he lash him Brer Rabbit holler out, he did, "Serve him right! serve him right!"

And I let you know that when Mr. Black Snake get through with that critter, he ain't want no more goodies.

C110. Why the Guineas Stay Awake

5: Why the Guineas Stay Awake. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story. Also, I have left out a comment from the frame which is of interest because Harris himself had the guineas screaming "Pot-rack!" in an earlier story: "Some folks say that they holler, "Pot-rack! Pot-rack!" but them what talk that away is mostly white folks, and they ain't know nothing at all about them old times. Master John or Miss Sally might know, but if they does I ain't hear 'em say so."

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One time 'way long back yonder them guineas was just as drowsy when night come as any of the other folks. They'd go to roost, they would, and they'd drop off to sleep time their head touch the pillow. No sooner did they get up on the roost than they drop off to sleep, and they kept on that away till by and by one time Brer Fox made up he mind that he better be kind of sociable and pay 'em a call after they done gone to bed.

There was times, when Brer Fox took a notion for to walk about in the daytime, but most always in general he done he promenading 'twixt sundown and sun-up. I don't know what time of night it was when Brer Fox call on the guineas, but I expect it was long towards the shank er the evening, as you may say.

Yet, soon or late, when he got to where the guineas live at, he found 'em all sound asleep. Now, some folks when they go anywheres for to make theyself sociable, and find everybody fast asleep, would've turn 'round and made their way back home; but Brer Fox ain't that kind of man. Them guineas roost so low and they look so fine and fat that it make Brer Fox feel like they was his first cousin.

He sat down on his hunkers, Brer Fox did, and he look at 'em and grin. Then he allow to hisself, "I'll just shake hands with one of 'em and then I'll go."

Well, Brer Fox went up and shook hands with one of 'em, and he must've squoze mighty hard, 'cause the guinea make a mighty flutterment ; and he must've held on with a mighty tight grip, 'cause when he took off his hat and bowed good-by the guinea went along with him.

Well, sir, you never is hear tell of such a racket as them guineas kicked up when they discover that Brer Fox done make off with one of 'em. They squall and they squall till they rousted up the whole neighborhoods. The dogs got to barking, the owls got to hooting, the hosses got to kicking, the cows got to lowing, and the chickens got to crowing.

And more than that, the guineas was that scared that they turn right pale on the neck and on the gills, and if you don't believe me you can go up there in the garden and look at 'em for yourself.

And more than that, they got scared so bad that from that day to this they don't sleep sound at night. They may squat 'round in the shade and nod in the daytime, though I ain't caught 'em at it, and they may sort of nod after they go to roost at night; but if a betsy bug flies by 'em, or yet if a sparrow flutters in the bushes, they are wide awake; they most surely is.

It seem like to me, that they must be haunted in their dreams by old Brer Fox, 'cause all times of night you can hear 'em going on, "L-o-o-o-o-k, look, look! There he is, there he is! Go 'way, go 'way!"

C111. How the Terrapin Was Taught to Fly

6: How the Terrapin Was Taught to Fly. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a time when old Brer Terrapin boned old Brer Buzzard for to learn him how to fly. He got after him, and he kept after him ; he begged and persuaded, and persuaded and he begged. Brer Buzzard told him that there was most too much of him in one place, but Brer Terrapin, he just kept on after him, and by and by Brer Buzzard allow that if nothing else ain't gonna do him, he'll just whirl in and give him some lessons in flying for old acquaintance sakes.

This make old Brer Terrapin feel mighty good, and he say he ready for to begin right now, but Brer Buzzard say he ain't got time just then, but he'll be sure and come 'round the next day and give old Brer Terrapin the first lesson.

Ole Brer Terrapin, he sat there and wait, he did, and though he nodded here and there through the night, it look like to him that day ain't never going to come. He wait and he wait, he did, but by and by the sun riz, and it weren't so mighty long after that 'fore here come Brer Buzzard sailing along. He sailed 'round and 'round, and every time he sail 'round he come lower, and after while he lit.

He lit, he did, and pass the time of day with Brer Terrapin and ask him is he ready. Brer Terrapin allow he been ready too long to talk about, and when Brer Buzzard hear this, he took and squat in the grass and ask Brer Terrapin for to crawl upon he back. But Brer Buzzard back mighty slick, and the more Brer Terrapin try for to crawl up, the more he slip back. But he took and crawl up after while, and when he get sort of settled down, he allow, he did, "You can start now, Brer Buzzard, but you'll hvae to be mighty careful not to run over no rocks and stumps, 'cause if this here wagon gets to jolting, I'm a goner," says he.

Brer Buzzard, he took and start off easy, and he move so slick and smooth and swift that Brer Terrapin laugh and allow that he ain't had no such sweet riding since he crossed the river in a flat. He sail 'round and 'round, he did, and give Brer Terrapin a good ride, and then by and by he sail down to the ground and let Brer Tarryin slip off of he back.

Next day he come 'round again, old Brer Buzzard did, and give Brer Terrapin another good ride, and the next day he done the same, and he keep on doing this a-way, till after while Brer Terrapin got the conceit that he can do some flying on he own hook. So he up and ask Brer Buzzard for call 'round one more time, and give him a good start.

Gentlemens! It tickles me every time it come in my mind, that it do! Well, sir, old Brer Buzzard was that full of rascality that he ain't got no better sense than to come, and the next day he sail up, he did, bright and yarly. He lit on the grass, and old Brer Terrapin, he crept up on he back, and then Brer Buzzard riz. He riz up in the elements, now, and when he get up there he sort of fetched a flirt and a swoop and slid out from under Brer Terrapin.

Old Brer Terrapin, he flapped he foots and wagged he head and shook he tail, but all this ain't done no good. He start off right-side up, but he ain't drop far, 'fore he begun to turn somersaults up there, and down he come on he back —kerblam—m—m—! And if it hadn't but have been for the strength of he shell, he'd've got bust wide open. He lay there, old Brer Terrapin did, and try to ketch he breath and he groan and he pant like every minute going to be next.

Old Brer Buzzard, he sail 'round, he did, and look at Brer Terrapin, and by and by he lit for to make inquirements.

"Brer Terrapin, how you feel?" says he.

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"Brer Buzzard, I 'm teetotally ruined," says he.

"Well, Brer Terrapin, I told you not to try to fly," says he.

"Hush up, Brer Buzzard!" says he; 'I flewed good as anybody, but you forgot to learn me how to light. Flying is easy as falling, but I don't expect I can learn how to light, and that's where the trouble come in," says he.

BRER RABBIT and BRER FOX

Well, the goodness and the gracious! That put me in mind of the time when old Brer Rabbit make a bet with Brer Fox. If I ain't make no mistakes, old Brer Rabbit bet Brer Fox that he can go the highest up in the elements, and not clam no hollow tree neither. Brer Fox, he took him up, and they appointed the day for the trial to come off.  

Whiles they was making all their arrangements, Brer Fox hear talk that Brer Rabbit have done gone and hire Brer Buzzard for to tote him way above the tops of the trees. Soon as he hear this, Brer Fox went to Brer Buzzard, he did, and told him that he give him a pot of gold if he'd whirl in and carry Brer Rabbit clean out and the county. Brer Buzzard allow that he was the very man for to do that kind of business.

So then when the time come for the trial, Brer Fox, he was there, and Brer Rabbit, he was there, and Brer Buzzard, he was there, and lots of the other critters. They flung cross and piles for to see which going to start first, and it fell to Brer Fox. He look 'round, old Brer Fox did, and wink at Brer Buzzard, an Brer Buzzard, he wink back good as he can. With that, Brer Fox took a running start and climb a leaning tree. Brer Rabbit say that better than he expected Brer Fox can do, but he allow he going to beat that. Then he took and jump on Brer Buzzard back, and Brer Buzzard riz and sail off with him. 

Brer Fox laugh when he see this, and allow, sezee, "Folks, if you all got any interest in old Brer Rabbit, you just better tell him good-by, 'cause you won't see him no more in there diggings."

This make all the other critters feel mighty good, 'cause in them days old Brer Rabbit was a terrifier, that he was. But they all sat there, they did, and keep their eye on Brer Buzzard, which he keep on getting higher and higher, and littler and littler. They look and they look, and by and by they sort of see Brer Buzzard flop first one wing, and then the other. He keep on flopping this a-way, and every time he flop, he get nigher and nigher the ground. He flop and fall, and flop and fall, and circle 'round, and by and by he come close to the place where he start from, and him and Brer Rabbit come down ker-flip! And Brer Rabbit ain't no sooner hit the ground than he rush off in the bushes, and sat there for to see what going to happen next.

When old Brer Buzzard got 'way up in the elements, he allow, he did, "We are going on a mighty long journey, Brer Rabbit."

Brer Rabbit he laugh like a man what's a-driving a plow-horse with a bridoon bit. "You may be a-going on a long journey, Brer Buzzard; I don't dispute that," says he, "but it'll be after you done carried me back where we start from." 

Then Brer Buzzard he up and tell Brer Rabbit about the bargain he done make with Brer Fox. This make Brer Rabbit laugh worse than before.

"Lord, Brer Buzzard," says he, "when it come to making that kind of bargain, you ought to make it with me, 'cause I'm a long ways a better trader than what Brer Fox is."

Brer Buzzard he don't respond to that, but he keep on flying higher and higher, and further and further away. By and by Brer Rabbit begun to get kind of uneasy, and he allow , "Look like to me we done come far enough, Brer Buzzard," says he, "and I'll be mighty much obliged if you carry me back."

Brer Buzzard keep on flying further. 

By and by Brer Rabbit ask him again, but Brer Buzzard keep on flying further. Then old Brer Rabbit he allow, says he, "If I got to just naturally make you go back, I expect I better start in right now," says he.

With that Brer Rabbit reach down, he did, and bit Brer Buzzard under the wing. Yes sir, old Brer Rabbit reach down and bit Brer Buzzard under the wing, right spang in he most ticklish and tendersome spot. Course this make Brer Buzzard shut he wing quick, and when he shut he wing, he obliged to fall some. 

Then when he open the wing out and catch hisself, Brer Rabbit holler out, "Is you going back, Brer Buzzard?"

Brer Buzzard ain't say nothing, and then Brer Rabbit reach down and bit him under the other wing. It keep on this a-way till it got so that Brer Rabbit can guide Brer Buzzard along just same as if he done been broke to harness, and that's the way he made him carry him back.

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C112. The Creature With No Claws

7: The Creature With No Claws. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time Brer Wolf was going along the big road feeling mighty proud and high-strung. He was a mighty high-up man in them days, Brer Wolf was, and most all the other critters was feared of him. Well, he was going along licking his chops and walking sort of stiff-kneed, when he happen to look down upon the ground and there he seed a track in the sand. Brer Wolf stop, he did, and look at it, and then he allow, "Heyo! What kind of critter this here? Brer Dog ain't make that track, and neither is Brer Fox. It's one of these here kind of critters what ain't got no claws. I'll just about follow him up, and if I catch him he'll surely be my meat."

That the way Brer Wolf talk. He followed along after the track, he did, and he look at it close, but he ain't see no print or no claw. By and by the track took and turn out the road and go up a drain where the rain done wash out. The track was plain there in the wet sand, but Brer Wolf ain't see no sign of no claws. 

He follow and follow, Brer Wolf did, and the track get fresher and fresher, but still he ain't see no print or no claw. By and by he come in sight of the critter, and Brer Wolf stop, he did, and look at him. He stop stock-still and look. 

The critter was mighty queer looking, and he was cutting up some mighty queer capers. He had big head, sharp nose, and bob tail, and he was walking 'round and 'round a big dogwood tree, rubbing his sides again it. Brer Wolf watch him a right smart while, and then he allow, "Shoo! That critter done been in a fight and lost the best part of he tail, and more than that, he got the itch, 'cause if he ain't got the itch what make he scratch hisself that away? I lay I'll let him know who he fooling along with."

After while, Brer Wolf went up a little nigher the critter, and holler out, "Heyo, there! What you doing scratching your scaly hide on my tree, and trying for to break it down?"

The critter ain't make no answer. He just walk 'round and 'round the tree scratching he sides and back. 

Brer Wolf holler out, "I lay I'll make you hear me if I had to come there where you is."

The critter just walk 'round and 'round the tree, and ain't make no answer. Then Brer Wolf hail him again, and talk like he mighty mad, "Ain't you going to mind me, you impudent scoundrel? Ain't you going to mosey out of my woods and let my tree alone?"

With that, Brer Wolf march towards just critter just like he going to squash him in the ground. The critter rub hisself against the tree and look like he feel mighty good. Brer Wolf keep on going towards him, and by and by when he get sort of close the critter took and sat up on his behind legs just like you see squirrels do.

Then Brer Wolf, he allow, he did, "Ah-yi! You begging, is you? But it ain't going to do you no good. I might've let you off if you'd a-minded me when I first holler after you, but I ain't going to let you off now. I'm a-going to learn you a lesson that'll stick by you."

Then the critter sort of wrinkle up his face and mouth, and Brer Wolf allow, "Oh, you needn't to swell up and cry, you deceitful villain. I'm a-going to give you a flailing that I bound here won't forget."

Brer Wolf make like he going to hit the critter, and then, well, sir, that critter just fetch one swipe this a-way, and another swipe that a-way, and most 'fore you can wink your eye-balls, Brer Wolf hide was mighty nigh teetotally tored off of him.

After that the critter sauntered off in the woods and begun to rub hisself on another tree. It weren't nobody on the topside of the earth but old Brer Wildcat. 

C113. Uncle Remus's Wonder Story

8: Uncle Remus's Wonder Story. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time, 'way back yonder, when the moon was lots bigger than what she is now, there was a old Witch-Wolf living 'way off in the swamp, and this here old Witch-Wolf was up to to all sorts of contrariness. Look like she was cross-ways with the whole of creation. When she weren't doing devilment, she was studying up devilment. She had a mighty way, the old Witch-Wolf did, that when she get hungry she'd change herself to be a woman. She could just shut her eye and smack her mouth, and instead of being a big black wolf, with long claws and green eye-balls, she'd come to be the likeliest looking gal that you most ever seed.

It seem like she love to eat folks, but 'fore she can eat 'em she had to marry 'em; and when she take a notion, she just change herself to be a likely looking gal, and sails in and get married. Then when she do that, she just take and change herself back to be a wolf, and eat 'em up raw. Go where you can, and where you might, and yet I don't expect you can find any worse critter than what this old Witch-Wolf was. 

Well, sir, at the same time when this old Witch-Wolf going on this away, there was a man living in the neighborhood what she took a mighty notion for to marry. The man had land, but she ain't wanting the land; the man had horses, but she ain't wanting the horses; the man had cows, but she ain't wanting the cows. She just naturally want the man hisself, 'cause he mighty fat and nice. She want to marry him, and eat him up. 

Well, then, when she get everything good and ready, she just took and back her ears, and bat her eyes, and smack her mouth, and there she was — a likely young gal! She up and got to the looking-glass, she did, and singe her hair with the curling-tongs, and tie ribbons on her clothes, and fix up her beau-catchers. She look nice, fit to kill now. 

Then she took and pass by the man house, and look back and snicker, and hold her head on one side, and sort of shake out her clothes, and put her hand up for to see if the hairpins in their place. She pass by this away lots of times, and by and by the man caught a glimpse of her; and no sooner is he do this than she wave her handkerchief. The man he watch her and watch her, and by and by, after she kept on whipping by, he come out and hail her. And then she took and stop, and nibble at her fan and fumble with her handkerchief, and they took and stand there, they did, and pass the time of day. 

After that the sun never riz and sat without she hold some confab with the man; and it weren't long 'fore the man took a notion that she the very gal for a wife, what he been a-hunting for. With that they just got right down to old-fashion courting. They'd laugh, they'd giggle, they'd dispute, they'd pout. And the old Witch Wolf make sure she was going to get the man; let alone that, the man he make sure he was going to get the gal. 

Yet the man he held back, and if the Witch-Wolf hadn't've been afeared she'd drop the fat in the fire, she'd've just come right out and pop the question then and there. But the man he held back and held back, and by and by he say to hisself, he did, that he expect he better make some inquirements about this here gal. Yet who shall he go to? 

He study and study, and after while it come across he mind that he better go and ask old Judge Rabbit about her, being as he been living 'round there a mighty long time. 

Old Judge Rabbit, done got old in age and gray in the mind. He done sober up and settle down, and I let you know there weren't many folks in them diggings but what went to old Judge Rabbit when they get in trouble. So the man he went to Judge Rabbit house and rap at the door. 

Judge Rabbit, he allow, he did, "Who that?"

Man he up and respond, "It's me."

Then Judge Rabbit begin to talk like one of these here town lawyers. He allow, he did, "Mighty short name for grown man. Gimme the full entitlements."

Man he give 'em to him, and then old Judge Rabbit open the door and let him in. They sat there by the fire, they did, till by and by it weren't long 'fore the man begun to tell him about this here great gal what he been courting along with.

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By and by Judge Rabbit ask him, says he, "What this here great gal name?"

Man he allow, "Mizzle-Mazzle."

Judge Rabbit look at the man sort of like he taking pity on him, and then he took he cane and make a mark in the ashes. Then he ask the man how old is this here great gal. Man told him; Judge Rabbit make another mark in the ashes. Then he ask the man is she got cat eyes. Man sort of study about this, but he say he expect she is. Judge Rabbit make another mark. Then he ask is her ears peaked at the top. Man allow he disremember, but he expect they is. Judge Rabbit make another mark in the ashes. Then he ask is she got yellow hair. Man say she is. Judge Rabbit make another mark. Then he ask is her tooths sharp. Man say they is. Judge Rabbit make another mark. 

After he done ask all this, Judge Rabbit got up, he did, and went across the room to the looking-glass. When he see hisself in there, he took and shut one eye, s-l-o-w. Then he sat down and leant back in the chair, and allow, says he, "I done had the idea in my head that old Mizzle-Mazzle done move out of the country, and yet here she is galloping 'round just as natural as a dead pig in the sunshine!"

Man look astonished, but he ain't say nothing. 

Judge Rabbit keep on talking. "You ain't never been trouble with no trouble yet, but if you want to be troubled with trouble that's double and treble trouble, you just go and marry old Mizzle-Mazzle," says he. "You needn't to believe me less and you want to," says he. "Just go along and marry her," says he. 

Man he look scared. He up and allow, he did, "What the name of goodness I going do?"

Old Judge Rabbit look solemncholy. "You got any cows?" says he. 

Man say he got plenty of 'em. 

"Well, then," says old Judge Rabbit, says he, "ask her if she can keep house. She'll say yes-sir. Ask her if she can cook. She'll say yes-sir. Ask her if she can scour. She'll say yes-sir. Ask her if she can wash clothes. She'll say yes-sir. Ask her if she can milk the red cow. Then see what she say."

Man, he allow, he did, that he mighty much obliged to old Judge Rabbit, and with that he make he bow and took he leave. He went home, he did, and when he get there, sure enough there was this here nice-looking gal a-promenading up and down the road, and shaking her handkerchief. Man, he hail her, he did, and ask her how she come on. She allow she pretty well, and how do he do. Man say he feeling sort of poorly. Then she up and ask him what the matter. Man say he expect he feel poorly 'cause he so powerful lonesome. Then this here nice-looking gal, she ask him what make he so powerful lonesome. Man he say he expect he so powerful lonesome 'cause he want to marry. 

Time the man come out so flat-footed about marrying, the gal, she begun to work with her fan, and chaw at her handkerchief. Then, after while, she up and ask him who he want to marry. Man allow he ain't no ways particular, 'cause he just want somebody for to take care of the house when he gone, and for to sit down by the fire, and keep him company when he at home. Then he up and ask the gal can she keep house. The gal she allow, "Yes sir!" Then he ask her if she can cook. She allow, "Yes sir!" Then he ask her if she can scour. She allow, "Yes sir!" Then he ask her if she can wash clothes. She allow, "Yes sir!" Then he ask her if she can milk the red cow. With that she flung up her hands, and fetched a squall that make the man jump. 

"Lord!" says she; "does you expect I'm a-going to let that cow hook me?"

Man, he say the cow just as gentle as a dog. 

"Does you expect I'm a-going to let that cow kick me crank-sided?" says she. 

Man, he allow, he did, that the cow won't kick, but that there gal she took and make more excuses than there is frogs in the spring branch, but by and by she say she can try. But she allow that first 'fore she try that she'll show him how she can keep house. So the next morning here she come, and I let you know she sailed in there, and set that house to rights 'fore some women folks can tun 'round. Man, he say, he did, that she do that mighty nice. 

Next day, the gal set in and got dinner. Man say, he did, that there ain't nobody what can beat that dinner. Next day, she set in and scoured, and she make that floor shine same as a looking-glass. Man, he say there ain't nobody in that neighborhoods can beat that scouring. Next day, she come for to milk the red cow, and the man, he allow to hisself, he did, that he going to see what make she don't like to milk that cow. 

The gal come, she did, and get the milk-piggin, and scald it out, and then she start for the cow-lot. Man, he crept along after the gal for to watch her. Gal went on, and when she come to the lot there was the red cow standing in the fence-corner walloping her cud. Gal, she sort of shook the gate, she did, and holler, "Sook, cow! Sook, cow!" 

Cow, she perten up at that, 'cause she know when folks call her that a-way, she going to come in for a bucket of slops. 

She perten up, the red cow did, and start towards the gate, but, gentlemens! Time she smell that gal, she begun a bleat like she smell blood, and pawed the ground and shook her head just like she fixing for to make fight. Man, he allow to hisself that this here kind of business mighty curious, and he keep on watching. 

Gal, she open the gate, but instead of the cow making fight, she begun to buck. Gal, she say, "So, cow! So, cow, so!" but the cow she hoist her tail in the elements, and run 'round that lot like the dogs was after her. Gal, she follow on, and it sort of look like she going to get the cow hemmed up in a corner, but the cow ain't got no notion of this, and by and by she whirl and make a plunge at the gal, and if the gal hadn't've leaped the fence quick as she did the cow would've got her. As she leaped the fence, the man seed her foots, and, lo and beholds, they was wolf foots! 

Man, he holler out, "You ought to wear shoes when you come a-milking the red cow!" and with that, the old Witch-Wolf give a twist, and fetched a yell, and made a disappearance in the elements.

It ain't no use! They may fool folks, but cows knows wild critters by their smell.

C114. The Rattlesnake and the Polecat

9: The Rattlesnake and the Polecat. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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There was a time when Brer Polecat was a-hunting for a new house. The weather was getting kind of shivery, and Brer Polecat he set out to find a good warm place where he can stay when the freeze come on.

He mosey along, Brer Polecat did, till he come to Brer Rattlesnake house, which it was in a hollow tree. Brer Polecat knock at the door. 

Brer Rattlesnake allow, "Who that?"

Brer Polecat respond, "It's me; open the door."

Brer Rattlesnake say, "What you want?" 

Brer Polecat say, "It mighty cool out here."

Brer Rattlesnake allow, "That what I hear folks say."

Brer Polecat up and respond, says he, "It too cold for to stand out here."

"That what I hear tell," says Brer Rattlesnake, says he. 

"I want to come in there where it's warm," says Brer Polecat, says he. 

Brer Rattlesnake allow that two in that house would be a big crowd. 

Brer Polecat say he got the name of being a mighty good housekeeper. 

Brer Rattlesnake say it mighty easy for anybody for to keep other folks' house. 

Brer Polecat say he going come in anyhow. 

Brer Rattlesnake allow, "There ain't no room in here for you."

Brer Polecat laugh and say, "Shoo, Brer Rattlesnake! Everybody gives me room. I go along the road, I does, and meet Mr. Man. I walks right towards him, and he obliged to give me room. I meet all the critters, and they obliged to give me room."

Brer Rattlesnake say, "That what I hear tell."

Brer Polecat allow, "Don't you pester yourself about room. You just lemme get in there where you is, and I'll make room!" 

With that Brer Rattlesnake shot the door of his house and sprung the latch, and after so long a time Brer Polecat went pacing off somewheres else.

C115. How the Birds Talk

10: How the Birds Talk. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story. There is a preamble where Uncle Remus imitates the calls of the two birds shown in the illustrations, and after completing the story, he describes the calls of the barnyard fowl also.

(image source)

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When Becky's Bill was growing up, he went frolicking around, and one night he come through the Two-Mile Swamp. He come along, he did, and the first news you know a great big old owl flewed up in a tree and snap he bill just like somebody cracking a whip.

Becky's Bill make like he ain't take no notice, but he sort of mend he gait.

Presently, old Mr. Owl flewed up in another tree little ways ahead, and smack he mouth. Then he hollow out, "Who cooks — who cooks — who cooks for you all?"

Becky's Bill move on — he make like he ain't hear nothing.

Old Mr. Owl hollow out, "Who cooks — who cooks — who cooks for you all?"

By that time Becky's Bill done get sort of scared, and he stop and say, "Well, sir, enduring of the week, mammy, she cooks, but on Sundays, and more specially if they got company, then old Aunt Dicey, she cooks."

Old Mr. Owl, he ruffle up he feathers, he did, and smack he mouth, and look down at Becky's Bill, and allow, "Who cooks — who cooks — who cooks for you-all?"

Becky's Bill, he take off he hat, he did. and allow, says he, "Well, sir, it's just like I tell you. More in generally enduring of the week, mammy, she cooks, but on Sundays, more specially when they got company, old Aunt Dicey, she cooks."

Old Mr. Owl, he keep asking, and Becky's Bill keep on telling till, by and by, Becky's Bill, he got scared, and tired, and mad, and then he leapt out from there and he run home like a quarter-horse; and now if you get him in that swamp you got to go along with him. 

C116. The Foolish Woman

11: The Foolish Woman. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time there was a black man what took and married a black woman. They married, and they went home to housekeeping. They got 'em some pots, and they got 'em some kettles, and they got 'em some pans, and they got 'em some dishes, and they start in, they did, just like folks does when they going to stay at home.

They rocked on, they did, and it seem like they was having a mighty good time; but one day when this here man was gone to town after some vittles, the woman she begun to get fretted. This here woman, she begun to fret and to worry, and by and by she got right down mad.

She was just like other women folks, and she got fretted 'cause the days was long and the weather hot. She got mad and she stayed mad. Every time she walked across the floor the dishes would rattle in the cupboard, and the more she'd fix 'em the worse they'd rattle. Course, this make her lots madder than what she was at first, and by and by she took and holler out, "What make you rattle?"

Dishes they keep on a-rattling.

"What make you rattle so? I ain't going to have no rattling 'round here!"

Dishes they keep on a-rattling and a-rattling.

The woman she holler out, "Who you rattling at? I'm the mistress of this house. I ain't going to have none of your rattling 'round here!"

Dishes they rattle and rattle. 

The woman, she holler out, "Stop that rattling. I ain't going to have you sassing back at me that way. I'm the mistress of this house!"

Then she walked up and down, and every time she do that the dishes they rattle worse and worse. Then she holler out, "Stop that sassing at me, I tell you! I'm the mistress in this house!"

Yet the dishes keep on rattling and shaking, and by and by the woman run to the cupboard, she did, and grab the dishes and fling 'em out in the yard, and no sooner's she do this than they was busted all to flinders. Women folks is mighty curious. They is that, just as sure as the world. 

By and by the man come home, and when he see all the dishes broke up he was astonished, but he ain't say nothing. He just look up at the sun for to see what time it is, and feel of hisself for to see if he well. Then he up and holler, "Old woman, here some fish what I bring you. I expect you better clean 'em for dinner."

The woman, she allow, "Lay 'em down there."

The man, he took and lay 'em down and drawed a bucket of water out of the well. 

Then, by and by, the woman, she come out and start to clean the fish. She pick 'em up, she did, and start to scrape the scales off, but she sees their eyes wide open, and she allow, "Shut them eyes! Don't you be a-looking at me!"

Fish, they keep on a-looking. 

Woman, she holler out, "Shut up them eyes, I tell you! I'm the mistress of this here house!" 

Fish, they keep their eyes wide open. 

Woman, she squall out, "Shut them eyes, you impudent villains! I'm the mistress in this here house!"

Fish, they held their eyes wide open, and then the woman took and flung 'em in the well. The woman took and destroy the dishes, and then she flung the fishes in the well, and they just naturally ruined the well. I don't know what the man say, but if he was like the balance of 'em, he just sat down and lit his pipe, and took a smoke and then lit out for bed. 

C117. The Adventures of Simon and Susanna

12: The Adventures of Simon and Susanna. Text Source: Daddy Jake, The Runaway by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Hathi Trust. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for notes to the story.

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One time there was a man, and this here man he had a mighty likely daughter. She was so pretty that she had more beaus than what you got fingers and toes. But the gal daddy, he got his suspicions about all of 'em, and he won't let 'em come 'round the house. But they kept on pestering him so, that by and by he give word out that the man what can clear up six acres of land and roll up the logs and pile up the brush in one day, that man can marry his daughter.

Of course, this look like it impossible, and all the beaus drop off excepting one, and he was a great big strapping chap what look like he can knock a steer down. This chap he was named Simon, and the gal, she was named Susanna. Simon, he love Susanna, and Susanna, she love Simon, and there it went. 

Well, sir, Simon, he went to the gal daddy, he did, and he say that if anybody can clear up that lad, he the one can do it, leastways he say he gonna try mighty hard. The old man, he grin and rub his hands together, he did, and told Simon to start in in the morning. Susanna, she makes out she was fixing something in the cupboard, but she took and kiss her hand at Simon, and nod her head. This all Simon want, and he went out of there just as happy as a jay-bird after he done robbed a sparrow-nest. 

Now, then, this here man was a witch. He could conjure folks, more specially them folks what ain't got no rabbit foot. He been at his conjurements so long, that Susanna done learn most all his tricks. So the next morning when Simon come by the house for to borrow the ax, Susanna she run and got it for him. She got it, she did, and then she sprinkles some black sand on it, and say, "ax, cut; cut, ax." Then she rub her hair across it, and give it to Simon. He took the ax, he did, and then Susanna say, "Go down by the branch, get seven white pebbles, put 'em in this little cloth bag, and whenever you want the ax to cut, shake 'em up."

Simon, he went off in the woods, and started in to clearing up the six acres. Well, sir, them pebbles and that ax, they done the work  —  they did that. Simon could've been done by the time the dinner-horn blowed, but he hung back 'cause he ain't wanting the man for to know that he doing it by conjurements. 

When he shook the pebbles the ax'd cut, and the trees'd fall, and the limbs'd drop off, and the logs'd roll up together, and the brush'd pile itself up. it went on this a-way till by the time it was two hours by sun, the whole six acres was done cleaned up. 

About that time the man come 'round, he did, for to see how the work getting on, and, man! He was astonished. He ain't know what to do or say. He ain't wanting to give up his daughter, and yet he ain't know how to get out of it. He walk 'round and 'round, and study, and study, and study how he going rue the bargain. At last he walk up to Simon, he did, and he say, "Look like you sort of forehanded with your work."

Simon, he allow, "Yes sir, when I starts in on a job I'm mighty restless till I gets it done. Some of this timber is rough and tough, but I been had worse jobs than this in my time."

The man say to hisself, "Wat kind of folks is this chap?" Then he say out loud, "Well, since you are so spry, there's two more acres across the branch there. If you'll clear them up 'fore supper you can come up to the house and get the gal."

Simon sort of scratch his head, 'cause he don't know whether the pebbles going to hold out, yet he put on a bold front and he tell the man that he'll go across there and clean up the two acres soon as he rest a little. 

The man he went off home, and soon's he get out of sight, Simon went across the branch and shook the pebbles at the two acres of woods, and it weren't no time scarcely 'fore the trees was all cut down and pile up. 

The man, he went home, he did, and call up Susanna, and say, "Daughter, that man look like he going get you, sure."

Susanna, she hang her head, and jerk like she fretted, and then she say she don't care nothing for Simon, nohow. Now, she mighty nigh distracted about Simon, and yet she make her daddy believe that she despise him. She know that her daddy was a witch and a mighty mean one in the bargain. 

Well, after Susanna done make her daddy believe that she ain't caring nothing at all about Simon, he begun to set his traps and fix his tricks. He up and tell Susanna that after her and Simon get married they must go upstairs in the front room, and then he tell her that she must make Simon go to bed first. Then the man went upstairs and took and took all the slats out of the bedstead excepting one at the head and one at the foot. After that he took and put some foot-valances around the bottom of the bed. Then he took and sawed out the floor under the bed, and there was the trap all ready. 

Well, sir, Simon come up to the house, and the man make like he mighty glad for to see him, but Susanna, she look like she mighty shy. No matter about that; after supper Simon and Susanna got married. It ain't in the tale whether they sent for a preacher or whether there was a squire browsing 'round in the neighborhoods, but they had cake with raisins in it, and some of this here syllabub what got more foam in it than there is dram, and they had a mighty happy time. 

When bedtime come, Simon and Susanna went upstairs, and when they got in the room, Susanna caught him by the hand, and held up her finger. Then she whisper and tell him that if they don't run away from there they both going to be killed. Simon ask her how come, and she say that her daddy want to kill him 'cause he such a nice man. This make Simon grin; yet he was sort of restless about getting away from there. But Susanna, she say wait. She say, "Pick up your hat and button up your coat. Now, then, take that stick of wood there and hold it above your head.

Whiles he standing there, Susanna got a hen egg out of a basket, then she got a meal-bag, and a skillet. She allow, "Now, then, drop the wood on the bed."

Simon done just like she say, and time the wood struck the bed, the tick and the mattress went a-tumbling through the floor. Then Susanna took Simon by the hand and they run out the back way as hard as they can go. 

The man, he was down there waiting for the bed to drop. He had a big long knife in he hand, and time the bed dropped, he lit on it, he did, and stabbed it scandalous. He just naturally ripped the tick up, and when he look, bless gracious, there ain't no Simon there. I lay that man was mad then. He snorted around there till blue smoke come out of his nose, and his eye look red like varmint eye in the dark. Then he run upstairs and there ain't no Simon there, and neither was there any Susanna. 

Gentlemens! Then he get madder. He rush out, he did, and look 'round, and away off yonder he see Simon and Susanna just a-running, and a-holding one another's hand. Being a witch, course he can see in the the dark. 

Well, this here witch-man, he look off and he see Simon and Susanna running as hard as they can. He put out after 'em, he did, with his knife in his hand, and he kept on a gaining on 'em. By and by, he got so close that Susanna say to Simon, "Fling down your coat."

Time the coat touch the ground, a big thick woods sprung up where it fell. But the man, he cut his way through it with the knife, and kept on a-pursuing after 'em. 

By and by, he got so close that Susanna drop the egg on the ground, and time it fell, a big fog riz up from the ground, and a little more and the man would've got lost. But after so long a time fog got blowed away by the wind, and the man kept on a-pursuing after 'em. 

By and by, he got so close that Susanna drop the meal-sack, and a great big pond of water covered the ground where it fell. The man was in such a big hurry that he tried to drink it dry, but he ain't can do this, so he sat on the bank and blowed on the water with he hot breath, and after so long a time the water made its disappearance, and then he kept on after 'em. 

Simon and Susanna was just a-running, but run as they would, the man kept a-gaining on 'em, and he got so close that Susanna dropped the skillet. Then a big bank of the darkness fell down, and the man ain't know which a-way to go. But after so long a time the the darkness lift up, and the man kept on a-pursuing after 'em. 

Man, he made up for lost time, and he got so close that Susanna say to Simon, "Drop a pebble." Time Simon do this a high hill riz up, but the man climbed it and kept on after 'em. 

Then Susanna say to Simon, "Drop another pebble." Time Simon drop the pebble, a high mountain growed up, but the man crawled up it and kept on after 'em. 

Then Susanna say, "Drop the biggest pebble."

No sooner is he drop it than a big rock wall riz up, and it was so high that the witch-man can't get over. He run up and down, but he can't find no end, and then, after so long a time, he turn around and go home. 

On the other side of this high wall, Susanna took Simon by the hand, and say, "Now we can rest."