C153. Why Turkey Buzzard Is Bald-headed

10. Why the Turkey Buzzard Is Bald-headed. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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WHY TURKEY-BUZZARD IS BALD-HEADED

They was a time when Brer Rabbit live in one side of a hollow tree. One day whiles he was going pirooting round, old Miss Turkey Buzzard come knocking at the door, and when she don't hear nothing she stuck her head in and look round. To see her then and see her now you wouldn't know she was the same critter. She had a fine top-knot on her head, bigger than the one on the Friesan hen, which the wind done blow all her feathers the wrong way. Yes sir, she had a fine top-knot, and she was pretty good-looking.

Well, sir, she peeped in, she did, and then she seed that there weren't nobody in there, neither Grandaddy Owl, nor Brer Polecat, nor Brer Rattlesnake. She take another look, and then in she walked, and made herself mighty much at home. it ain't take old Miss Buzzard long for to fix her nest, 'cause she ain't want nothing but five sticks and a handful of leaves. She went out and fetched 'em in and there she was. She went right straight to housekeeping, 'cause she ain't had to put down no carpets, nor straighten out no rugs, nor move the chairs round, nor wash no dishes.

Well, long towards night, or maybe a little later, Brer Rabbit come home, and like he most always done, he come a-laughing. 

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He been projecting with some of the other critters, an he was mighty pleased with hisself. When he first come he ain't take no notice of old Miss Buzzard. He come in a-laughing, and he laugh till he don't want to laugh no more. But by and by he begun to take notice that everything weren't just like it use to be. He allow, "Somebody done been here while I'm gone, and whoever it was, is got a mighty bad breath." He keep still, 'cause it was mighty dark in the hollow, but he keep on wiggling his nose and trying to sneeze. By and by, he say, "I don't know who it was; all I know, is that he better go see the doctor."

This was too much for old Miss Buzzard, and she say, "I thank you kindly, Brer Rabbit! You are in the way of making friends wheresomever you go!" 

Brer Rabbit, he jump most out of his skin, he was so scared. He catch his breath and sneeze, and then he allow, "Heyo, Sis Buzzard! Is that you? I thought you stayed in the trees. What wind blow you here, and how is old Brer Buzzard?"

She say, "Oh, he's doing as well as you can expect a man to do; he's away from home when he ought to be there, and when he's there, he's in the way. Men folks is monstrous trying, Brer Rabbit; you know that yourself." 

Brer Rabbit allow, "I ain't disputing what you say, but when women gets out of sorts, and has the all-overs, as you may say, the men folks has to bear the brunt of their ailments. You can put that down for a fact."

They went on that a-way, disputing about the sexes till old Miss Buzzard begun to get sleepy. She say, "Brer Rabbit, if you took more time for sleep, you'd be lots better off."

Brer Rabbit allow, "Maybe so—maybe so, Sis Buzzard, but I can't help my habits. I'm a light sleeper, but I was born so, and if you so much as move enduring of the night I'll have one eye open."

Old Miss Buzzard say, "If that's the case, Brer Rabbit, I'll thank you for to wake me if you hear a snake crawling. There ain't many things I'm afeared of, and one of 'em is a snake." 

Brer Rabbit laugh hearty, and allow, "If snakes was all that trouble me, Sis Buzzard, I'd be more than happy. Many and many's the time when I've woke up and found 'em coiled up in my britches leg." 

Miss Buzzard, she sort of flutter her wings, and say, "Oh, hush, Brer Rabbit! You give me the creeps; you sure do."

Dat was the first night. By the next day old Miss Buzzard had done took up her abode and lodging where Brer Rabbit was living at. He ain't say nothing, 'cause he just waiting the time when he can play some kind of prank on her and her family. All that he need for to brace him up was to have a mighty strong stomach, and he thank the Lord that he got that. Time went on, and as any kind of sound egg will hatch if you give it time, so old Miss Buzzard egg hatch, and most 'fore you know it, if you ain't had to live there like Brer Rabbit, she hatch out her eggs and have a pair of mighty likely chillun, if you can call Buzzards likely.

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Old Miss Buzzard was monstrous proud of these young'uns, and the time come when she was hard put to get 'em vittles. 

She'd fly off and they'd holler for something to eat when they hear her come back, and it got so after while that they'd had to go hungry, they was so ravenous. And then she begun to look sideways at Brer Rabbit. He knew mighty well what she thinking about, but he ain't say nothing. He'd come and go just like old Miss Buzzard want in the back part of her head, but all the time, he knowed what she planning to do, and he act according. 

He allow to old Miss Buzzard that he know she want to be kind of private when she raising a family, and as there was two hollows in the tree, he say he going to make his home in the other one. Miss Buzzard, she say, she did, that Brer Rabbit was mighty good for to be thinking about other people, but Brer Rabbit make a bow and say he been raise that a-way.

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But 'fore Brer Rabbit went in the other hollow he made sure that there was more than one way of getting out. He went in there, he did, and scratch about and make a new bed, and then he get in it for to get it warm. He sat there with one eye open and the other one shut. He sat so still that old Miss Buzzard got the idea that he gone abroad, and so when her chillun cry for the* dinner, she say, "Don't cry, honey babies; mammy going to get you a good warm dinner 'fore long, and it'll be fresh meat, too, you can depend on that."

The chillun, they cry worse at this, 'cause they so hungry they don't want to wait a minute. They say, "Get it now, mammy! Get it now!"

Old Brer Rabbit was sitting in there listening, and he allow to hisself, "It'll taste mighty good when you does get it, honey babies!"

With that, he skip out from there, and went off to his laughing-place.

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After so long a time, old Miss Buzzard went 'round to the other hollow, and peep in. If Brer Rabbit had've been in there, she was going to ask him how he like his new house, but he weren't there, and she heave a long breath, 'cause when you going to do mischief, it seem like everybody know what you going to do.

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Anyhow, she was mighty glad that Brer Rabbit weren't there for to look at her with his pop-eyes. Then she tell her chillun that she going off after some vittles, and she flop her wings a time or two, and off she flewed.

They got along tolerable well that day and the next but it weren't long 'fore their craw begun to feel like a wind-bag, and then they sat up a cry for more vittles, and their mammy ain't got no vittles for to give 'em. Brer Rabbit went abroad mighty soon that day, and after he had his fill of fun and turnip greens he come home and went to bed. 

He went to bed, he did, and went to sleep, but he ain't sleep long, 'cause he hear some kind of noise. He wake up, and open and shut his pop-eyes kind of slow, and wiggle his mouth and nose. He can hear old Miss Buzzard tramping round at his front door, kind of humming a tune to herself. He say, "Heyo, dar! Who that projecting at my front door?" 

Old Miss Buzzard, she say, "Take you rest, Brer Rabbit; it ain't nobody but me. I got the idea that someone was pirooting round the place, and I just got up for to see that everything was all right."

Brer Rabbit say, "It's mighty dark in here," and "A mighty good reason," says old Miss Buzzard, says she, "'cause it's black night out here,' says she; "you can't see you hand before you," says she. 

This make Brer Rabbit laugh, 'cause the morning sun was shining through a knot-hole right in Brer Rabbit's face. 

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He laugh and allow to hisself, "Shoot your shekels, old woman, and shoot 'em hard, 'cause you are going to get the rough end of this business. You hear my horn!" He hear old Miss Buzzard walking round out there, and he holler out, "I can't get out! I believe it's daytime out there, and I can't get out! Somebody better run here and help me to get out. Someone done lock me in my own house, and I can't get out! Ain't somebody going to run here and turn me out! I can't get a breath of fresh air."

Well, old Miss Buzzard ain't got no more sense than to believe Brer Rabbit, and she was just certain and sure that he was her meat. She say, "I'm the one what shut you up in there, and I'm going to keep you in there till you are done dead, and then I'll pull the meat off of your bones, both fat and lean, and feed my chillun. I done got you shot up with red clay and white, and I'm going to keep you in there both day and night, till you ain't got no breath in you." With that she went in her own house and sat down with her chillun for to wait and see what going to happen. 

Brer Rabbit he stay still for the longest, 'cause he one of the most fidgety critters you ever is lay you eyes on. He stay right still, he did, till old Miss Turkey Buzzard get tired of waiting and come out for to promenade up and down 'fore Brer Rabbit front door.

He hear the old hussy, and he say, "I know you just joking with me, Sis Buzzard; please, ma'am, let me out. My breath getting shorter, and this here and what in here smell most as bad as what your breath do. Please, ma'am, make haste and let me out."

Then she got mad. "My breath, I hear you say! Well, 'fore I get through with you, you won't have no breath—I promise you that."

After old Miss Buzzard went back in her part of the house, Brer Rabbit took a notion that he'd get out of there, and pay her back for the old and the new. And out of his back door he went. He ain't take time for to go to the laughing-place—no, sir, not him. Instead of that he put off to where he knowed Mr. Man had been clearing up a new ground. There was a tin bucket what Mr. Man had done off and forgot, and Brer Rabbit took that and fill it full of red-hot embers, and went sailing back home with it.

When he get there, he stuck his head in Miss Buzzard door, and allow, "Peep-eye, Sis Buzzard! I hope you done had your dinner to day, and if you ain't I got it right here for you and you more than welcome to all that's in it." 

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He ain't more than got the words out of his mouth, 'fore old Miss Buzzard flewed out at him. She flewed out, she did, but she ain't flewed far 'fore she got the hot ashes over her head and neck, and the way she hopped 'round was so scandalous that folks calls that kind of doings the buzzard-dance down to this day and time.

Some of the ashes got on the little buzzards, and from that time on none of the buzzard tribe is had any hair or feathers on their head, and not much on their neck. And if you look at 'em right close, you'll find that I'm a-telling you the plain truth. They look so bare on their head and neck that you want to give 'em a piece of rag for to tie round it to keep 'em from catching cold.

C153. Baer (p. 143). Why the Turkey Buzzard is Bald-Headed

This is Chase153.

Types
Motifs A2317.3 why buzzard is bald
A2317.11 why john-crow has bald head
J0648.2 rabbit builds hold with two exits
Notes

There are 3 Jamican stories about Anansi and the buzzard family where Anancy pours boiling water on them. Back has an "Ann Nancy" tale stealing from Buzzard, and then invites Buzzards to dinner and pours boiling water:
Story Title: How Come Mr. Buzzard to Have a Bald Head

Lambrecht has rabbit escaping through another exit from a hunter

Baer concludes: "When a West Indian Anansi tale and a Brer Rabbit tale are this similar, there is often a common ancestry in Africa, but the sources consulted have not revealed it."

C153. Why the Turkey Buzzard Is Bald-headed (original spelling)

10. Why the Turkey Buzzard Is Bald-headed. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. You can click here for the standardized spelling plus all notes to the story.

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“Mother,” said the little boy one day, “do you know why the turkey buzzards are bald?”



“Why, no,” replied the young mother, very much surprised. “I didn’t even know they were bald. But why do you ask such a silly question?”

“Because Uncle Remus said you knew why they are bald.”

“You tell Uncle Remus,” said the grandmother, laughing heartily, “that I say he is an old rascal, and he had better behave himself.”

The way of it was this: The little boy had been walking out in the fields with Uncle Remus, and had seen, away up in the sky, two or three turkey buzzards floating lazily along on motionless wings. From the fields they had gone into the woods, and in these woods they had found what[154] Uncle Remus had said was a buzzard’s nest. It was in a hollow tree, flat on the ground, and when they came near, the mother buzzard issued forth from the hollow, with such a hissing and flapping of wings that the little boy was frightened for a moment.

“Go on ’way fum here, you bald-headed ol’ rapscallion; ef you don’t I’ll do you wuss dan Brer Rabbit done you. Honey,” he went on, turning to the child, “you better put yo’ hankcher ter yo’ nose ef you gwineter look in dat nes’, kaze ol’ Miss Turkey Buzzard is a scandalious housekeeper.”

The child did as he was bid, and, peeping in the nest, he saw two young ones, as white as goslings. While he was peeping in he got a whiff of the odor of the buzzards, and turned and ran away from the place as hard as he could. Uncle Remus followed suit, and hobbled away as fast as his legs could carry him. When they were both out of range of the buzzard’s nest, they stopped and laughed at each other.

“You nee’nter be skeer’d dat anything’ll ketch[155] you, honey. Dey ain’t nothin’ but a race-hoss got yo’ gait. Why, ef I hadn’t ’a’ been wid you, you’d ’a’ been home by now, kaze you’d ’a’ started when ol’ Miss Buzzard fus flew out er dat hole.”

The little boy made no denial, for he knew that what Uncle Remus said had much more than a grain of truth in it. Besides, he was thinking of other things just then. He soon made known what it was. “Why did you call the buzzard bald-headed, Uncle Remus?”

“A mighty good reason,” responded the old man. “Dey ain’t no mo’ got fedders on de top er der head dan you got ha’r in de pa’m er yo’ han’. You ketch one un um, an’ ef you kin hol’ yo’ breff long nuff ter look, you’ll see dat I’m tellin’ you de trufe. I ain’t blamin’ um fer dat, kaze dey got a mighty good reason fer bein’ bal’-headed. Dey’s mighty few folks dat know what de reason is, an’ one un um is yo’ ma. Ef you’ll kinder coax ’er, I speck she’ll tell you.”

This was what led up to the question the child had asked his mother, and was the occasion of[156] the grandmother’s laughing remark that Uncle Remus was an old rascal.

The little boy gave Uncle Remus the full particulars the next time he saw him. The old man laughed merrily when he heard that his Miss Sally had called him an old rascal. “Talk ’bout yo’ smart wimmen folks!” he exclaimed. “Dey ain’t na’er man in de worl’ what kin hol’ a candle ter yo’ gran’ma; an’ des ez you see ’er now, dat des de way she been sence she wuz a gal. She know what you gwineter say long ’fo’ you kin git de words out ’n yo’ mouf; she kin look right thoo you an’ tell you what you thinkin’ ’bout. You may laugh all you wanter, but ef youer feelin’ bad she’ll know it. When Miss Sally goes an’ dies, dey won’t be na’er nudder somebody fer ter take her place. Dey ain’t no two ways ’bout dat.”

“I think she is getting used to mother,” the little boy remarked in his old-fashioned way—a way that was a source of constant amazement to Uncle Remus, who could hardly understand how a child could act and talk like a grown person. He regarded the child with a puzzled look, and[157] closed his eyes with a sigh. The child had no idea that Uncle Remus was either puzzled or amazed, and so he harked back to the original problem. “Why is the buzzard bald-headed?” he asked.

“Ef yo’ ma an’ yo’ gran’ma dunno,” replied Uncle Remus, “I speck I’ll hatter tell you, an’ de bes’ way ter do dat is ter tell de tale dat de ol’ folks tol’ der chillun. What make it mo’ easy, is dat dey ain’t nothin’ er Brer Turkey Buzzard in it but his name. Ef he wuz in it hisse’f, I don’t speck you’d stay long nuff fer ter hear me tell it.” The child laughed, for he remembered how he wanted to run away from the tree when old Mrs. Buzzard came flopping out. He laughed, but said nothing, and Uncle Remus resumed:

“Dey wuz a time when Brer Rabbit live in one side uv a holler tree. One day whiles he wuz gwine pirootin’ roun’, ol’ Miss Turkey Buzzard come knockin’ at de do’, an’ when she don’t hear nothin’ she stuck ’er head in an’ look roun’. Ter see ’er den an’ see ’er now you wouldn’t know she wuz de same creetur. She had a fine top-knot on ’er head, bigger dan de one on de freezlin’ hen[158], which de win’ done blow all her fedders de wrong way. Yasser, she had a fine top-knot, an’ she ’uz purty good-lookin’.

“Well, suh, she peeped in, she did, an’ den she seed dat dey wa’n’t nobody in dar, needer Grandaddy Owl, ner Brer Polecat, ner Brer Rattlesnake. She take an’er look, an’ den in she walked, an’ made ’erself mighty much at home. It ain’t take ol’ Miss Buzzard long fer ter fix her nes’, kaze she ain’t want nothin’ but five sticks an’ a han’ful er leaves. She went out an’ fotch um in an’ dar she wuz. She went right straight ter housekeepin’, kaze she ain’t had ter put down no kyarpits, ner straighten out no rugs, ner move de cheers roun’, ner wash no dishes.

“Well, long todes night, er maybe a little later, Brer Rabbit come home, an’ like he mos’ allers done, he come a-laughin’. He been projickin’ wid some er de yuther creeturs, an he wuz mighty pleased wid hisse’f. When he fus’ come he ain’t take no notice er ol’ Miss Buzzard. He come in a-laughin’, an’ he laugh twel he don’t wanter laugh no mo’. But bimeby he ’gun ter take notice[159] dat ever’thing wa’n’t des like it use ter be. He ’low, ‘Somebody done been here while I’m gone, an’ whoever ’twuz, is got a mighty bad breff.’ He keep still, kaze ’twuz mighty dark in de holler, but he keep on wigglin’ his nose an’ tryin’ ter sneeze. Bimeby, he say, ‘I dunner who ’twuz; all I know, is dat he better go see de doctor.’


“Long todes night, er maybe a little later, Brer Rabbit come home”

“Dis ’uz too much fer ol’ Miss Buzzard, an’ she say, ‘I thank you kin’ly, Brer Rabbit! Youer in de way er makin’ frien’s wharsomever you go!’ Brer Rabbit, he jump mos’ out ’n his skin, he[160] wuz so skeer’d. He cotch his breff an’ sneeze, an’ den he ’low, ‘Heyo, Sis Buzzard! is dat you? I thought you stayed in de trees. What win’ blow you here, an’ how is ol’ Brer Buzzard?’ She say, ‘Oh, he’s doin’ ez well ez you kin speck a man ter do; he’s ’way fum home when he oughter be dar, an’ when he’s dar, he’s in de way. Men folks is monstus tryin’, Brer Rabbit; you know dat yo’se’f.’ Brer Rabbit ’low, ‘I ain’t ’sputin’ what you say, but when wimmen gits out er sorts, an’ has de all-overs, ez you may say, de men folks has ter b’ar de brunt er der ailments. You kin put dat down fer a fack.’

“Dey went on dat a-way, ’sputin’ ’bout de seck twel ol’ Miss Buzzard ’gun ter git sleepy. She say, ‘Brer Rabbit, ef you took mo’ time for sleep, you’d be lots better off.’ Brer Rabbit ’low, ‘Maybe so—maybe so, Sis Buzzard, but I can’t help my habits. I’m a light sleeper, but I wuz born so, an’ if you so much ez move endurin’ er de night I’ll have one eye open.’ Ol’ Miss Buzzard say, ‘Ef dat’s de case, Brer Rabbit, I’ll thank you fer ter wake me ef you hear a snake crawlin’.[161] Dey ain’t many things I’m afeard un, an’ one uv um is a snake.’ Brer Rabbit laugh hearty, an’ low, ‘Ef snakes wuz all dat trouble me, Sis Buzzard, I’d be mo’ dan happy. Many an’ many’s de time when I uv woke up an’ foun’ um quiled up in my britches laig.’ Miss Buzzard, she sorter flutter her wings, an’ say, ‘Oh, hush, Brer Rabbit! you gi’ me de creeps; you sho do.’

“Dat ’uz de fust night,” said Uncle Remus, flinging away a quid of tobacco and taking a fresh one. “By de nex’ day ol’ Miss Buzzard had done took up her ’bode an’ lodgin’ whar Brer Rabbit wuz livin’ at. He ain’t say nothin’, kaze he des waitin’ de time when he kin play some kinder prank on her an’ her fambly. All dat he need fer ter brace ’im up wuz ter have a mighty strong stomach, an’ he thank de Lord dat he got dat. Time went on, an’ ez any kinder soun’ egg will hatch ef you gi’ it time, so ol’ Miss Buzzard egg hatch, an’ mos’ ’fo’ you know it, ef you ain’t hatter live dar like Brer Rabbit, she hatch out her eggs an’ have a pair er mighty likely chillun, ef you kin call Buzzards likely.

[162]


“Ol’ Miss Buzzard wuz monstus proud er deze young uns”

“Ol’ Miss Buzzard wuz monstus proud er deze young uns, an’ de time come when she wuz hard put ter git um vittles. She’d fly off an’ dey’d holler fer sump’n ter eat when dey hear ’er come back, an’ it got so atter while dat dey’d hatter go hongry, dey wuz so ravenous. An’ den she ’gun ter look sideways at Brer Rabbit. He knew mighty well what she thinkin’ ’bout, but he ain’t say nothin’. He’d come an’ go des like ol’ Miss Buzzard want in de back part er her head, but all de time, he know’d what she plannin’ ter do, an’ he ack accordin’. He ’low ter ol’ Miss Buzzard dat[163] he know she wanter be kinder private when she raisin’ a fambly, an’ ez dey wuz two hollers in de tree, he say he gwinter make his home in de yuther one. Miss Buzzard, she say, she did, dat Brer Rabbit wuz mighty good fer ter be thinkin’ ’bout yuther people, but Brer Rabbit make a bow an’ say he been raise dat a-way.


“He sot so still dat ol’ Miss Buzzard got de idee dat he gone abroad”


“Went off ter his laughin’-place”

“But ’fo’ Brer Rabbit went in de yuther holler he made sho dat dey wuz mo’ dan one way er gittin’ out. He went in dar, he did, an’ scratch about an’ make a new bed, an’ den he git in it fer ter git it warm. He set dar wid one eye open an’ t’er one shot. He sot so still dat ol’ Miss Buzzard got de idee dat he gone abroad,[164] an’ so when her chillun cry fer dey dinner, she say, ‘Don’t cry, honey babies; mammy gwine ter git you a good warm dinner ’fo’ long, an’ it’ll be fresh meat, too, you kin ’pen’ on dat.’ De chillun, dey cry wuss at dis, kaze dey so hongry dey don’t wanter wait a minnit. Dey say, ‘Git it now, mammy! git it now!’ Ol’ Brer Rabbit wuz settin’ in dar lis’nin’, an’ he ’low ter hisse’f, ‘It’ll tas’e mighty good when you does git it, honey babies!’ Wid dat, he skip out fum dar, an’ went off ter his laughin’-place.”

“Atter so long a time, ol’ Miss Buzzard went ’roun’ ter de yuther holler, an’ peep in. Ef Brer[165] Rabbit had ’a’ been in dar, she wuz gwineter ax ’im how he like his new house, but he wa’n’t dar, an’ she hove a long breff, kaze when you gwineter do mischief, it seem like eve’ybody know what[166] you gwineter do. Anyhow, she ’uz mighty glad dat Brer Rabbit wa’n’t dar fer ter look at ’er wid his pop-eyes. Den she tell her chillun dat she gwine off atter some vittles, an’ she flop ’er wings a time er two, an’ off she flew’d.


“She ’uz mighty glad dat Brer Rabbit wa’n’t dar”

“Dey got ’long tollable well dat day an’ de nex’ but ’twant long ’fo’ der craw ’gun ter feel like a win’-bag, an’ den dey set up a cry fer mo’ vittles, an’ der mammy ain’t got no vittles fer ter gi’ um. Brer Rabbit went abroad mighty soon dat day, an’ atter he had his fill er fun an’ turnip greens he come home an’ went ter bed. He went ter bed, he did, an’ went ter sleep, but he ain’t sleep long, kaze he hear some kinder noise. He wake up, an’ open an’ shet his pop-eyes kinder slow, an’ wiggle his mouf an’ nose. He kin hear ol’ Miss Buzzard trompin’ roun’ at his front door, kinder hummin’ a chune ter herself. He say, ‘Heyo, dar! who dat projickin’ at my front do’?’ Ol’ Miss Buzzard, she say, ‘Take yo’ res’, Brer Rabbit; ’tain’t nobody but me. I got de idee dat some un wuz pirootin’ roun’ de place, an’ I des got up fer ter see dat everything wuz all right.’

[167]


“De mornin sun wuz shinin’ thoo a knot-hole right in Brer Rabbit’s face”

“Brer Rabbit say, ‘It’s mighty dark in here,’ an’ ‘A mighty good reason,’ sez ol’ Miss Buzzard, se’she, ‘kaze it’s black night out here,’ se’she; ‘you can’t see yo’ han’ befo’ you,’ se’she. Dis make Brer Rabbit laugh, kaze de mornin’ sun wuz shinin’ thoo a knot-hole right in Brer Rabbit’s face. He laugh an’ ’low ter hisse’f, ‘Shoot yo’[168] shekels, ol’ ’oman, an’ shoot um hard, kaze youer gwineter git de rough een’ er dis business. You hear my horn!’ He hear ol’ Miss Buzzard walkin’ roun’ out dar, an’ he holler out, ‘I can’t git out! I b’lieve it’s daytime out dar, an’ I can’t git out! Somebody better run here an’ he’p me ter git out. Some un done lock me in my own house, an’ I can’t git out! Ain’t somebody gwineter run here an’ turn me out! I can’t git a breff er fresh a’r.’

“Well, ol’ Miss Buzzard ain’t got no mo’ sense dan ter b’lieve Brer Rabbit, an’ she wuz des certain an’ sho dat he wuz her meat. She say, ‘I’m de one what shet you up in dar, an’ I’m gwine ter keep you in dar twel youer done dead, an’ den I’ll pull de meat off’n yo’ bones, bofe fat an’ lean, an’ feed my chillun. I done got you shot up wid red clay an’ white, an’ I’m gwineter keep you in dar bofe day an’ night, twel you ain’t got no breff in you.’ Wid dat she went in her own house an’ sot down wid ’er chillun fer ter wait an’ see what gwineter happen. Brer Rabbit he stay still fer de longes’, kaze he one er de mos’ fidgetty[169] creeturs you yever is lay yo’ eyes on. He stay right still, he did, twel ol’ Miss Turkey Buzzard git tired er waitin’ an’ come out fer ter promenade up an’ down ’fo’ Brer Rabbit front do’.


“She got de hot ashes over her head an’ neck”

“He hear de ol’ huzzy, an’ he say, ‘I know you des jokin’ wid me, Sis Buzzard; please, ma’am, le’ me out. My breff gittin’ shorter, an’ dish yer an’ what in here smell mos’ ez bad ez what yo’ breff do. Please, ma’am, make ’as’e an’ let me out.’ Den she got mad. ‘My breff, I hear you say! Well, ’fo’ I git thoo wid you, you won’t have no breff—I prommus you dat.’ Atter ol’ Miss Buzzard went back in her part er de house, Brer Rabbit tuck a notion dat he’d git out er dar, an’ pay ’er back fer de ol’ an’ de new. An’ out er his back door he went. He ain’t take time fer ter go ter de laughin’-place—no, suh! not him. Stidder dat he put off ter whar he know’d Mr. Man had been cle’rin’ up a new groun’. Dey wuz a tin bucket what Mr. Man had done off an’ forgot, an’ Brer Rabbit tuck dat an’ fill it full er red-hot embers, an’ went sailin’ back home wid it.

[170]

“When he git dar, he stuck his head in Miss Buzzard do’, an’ low, ‘Peep-eye, Sis Buzzard! I hope you done had yo’ dinner ter day, an’ ef you ain’t I got it right here fer you an’ you mo’ dan welcome ter all dat’s in it.’ He ain’t mo’ dan got de words out ’n his mouf, ’fo’ ol’ Miss Buzzard flew’d out at ’im des like she flew’d out at you, de yuther day. She flew’d out, she did, but she ain’t flew’d fur ’fo’ she got de hot ashes over her head an’ neck, an’ de way she hopp’d ’roun’ wuz so scandalious dat folks calls dat kinder doin’s de buzzard-dance down ter dis day an’ time.

“Some er de ashes got on de little buzzards, an fum dat time on none er de buzzard tribe is had any ha’r er fedders on der head, an’ not much on der neck. An’ ef you look at um right close,[171] you’ll fin’ dat I’m ’a’ tellin’ you de plain trufe. Dey look so ba’r on der head an’ neck dat you wanter gi’ um a piece er rag fer to tie roun’ it ter keep um fum ketchin’ col’.”