C163. Brer Bear's Big House

3. Brother Bear's Big House. Text Source: Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.

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Of all the critters, old Brer Bear had the biggest and the warmest house. I don't know why nor wherefore, but I'm a-telling you the plain fact, just as they told it unto me. Well, old Brer Bear had the big house I'm a-telling you about. If he ever is brag of it, it ain't never come down to me. Yet that's just what he had — a big house and plenty of room for him and his family; and he ain't had more than he need, 'cause all of his family was fat and had what folks calls heft — de natural plumpness.

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He had a son name Simon, and a gal name Sue, not counting his old woman, and they all live with one another day after day, and night after night; and when one of 'em went abroad, they'd be expected home about meal-time, if not before, and they segashuated right along from day to day, washing their face and hands in the same wash-pan in the back porch, and wiping on the same towel same as all happy families always does.

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Well, time went on and fetched the changes that might be expected, and one day there come a mighty knocking on Brer Bear's door. Brer Bear, he holler out, he did. "Who that come a-knocking this time of the year, 'fore the corn's done planted, or the cotton-crop's pitched?"

The one at the door make a big noise, and rattle the hinges. Brer Bear holler out, he did, "Don't tear down my house! Who is you, anyhow, and what you want?"

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And the answer come, "I'm one and therefore not two; if you are more than one, who is you and what you doing in there?"

Brer Bear, he say, says he, "I'm all of one and mighty nigh two, but I'd thank you for to tell me you full family name." 

Then the answer come. "I'm the knocker and the mover both, and if I can't climb over I'll crawl under if you do but give me the word. Some calls me Brer Polecat, and some a big word that it ain't worth while to remember, but I want to move in. It's mighty cold out here, and all I meets tells me it's mighty warm in there where you is."

Then old Brer Bear say, says he, "It's warm enough for them what stays in here, but not nigh so warm for them on the outside. What does you really want?"

Brer Polecat respond, he did, "I wants a heap of things that I don't get. I'm a mighty good housekeeper, but I takes notice that there's mighty few folks that wants me to keep house for 'em."

Brer Bear say, says he, "I ain't got no room for no housekeeper; we ain't scarcely got room for to go to bed. If you can keep my house on the outside, you are mighty welcome."

Brer Polecat say, "You may think you ain't got no room, but I bet you got just as much room as anybody what I know. If you let me in there one time, I bound you I'll make all the room I want."

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Brer Polecat come in Brer Bear's house, and he had such a bad breath that they all had to get out — and he stayed and stayed till time stopped running against him.

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C163. Baer (p. 150). Brother Bear's Big House

This is Chase163.

Types
...
Motifs
A2416.3 bad smell of skunk
A2522.4 why skunk is disliked
Notes

See notes for Chase114.

C163. Brother Bear's Big House (original spelling)

3. Brother Bear's Big House. Text Source: Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. You can click here for the standardized spelling plus all notes to the story.

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“Uv all de creeturs”, said Uncle Remus, in response to a questioning took on the part of the little boy, “ol Brer B’ar had de biggest an’ de warmest house. I dunner why ner wharfo’, but I’m a-tellin’ you de plain fack, des ez dey to!’ it unter me. Ef I kin he’p it I never will be deceivin’ you, ner lead you inter no bad habits. Yo’ pappy trotted wid me a mighty long time, an’ ef you’ll ax him he’ll tell you dat de one thing I never did do wuz ter deceive him whiles he had his eyes open; not ef I knows myse’f. Well, ol’ Brer B’ar had de big house I’m a-tellin’ you about. Ef he y’ever is brag un it, it aint never come down ter me. Yit dat’s des what he had—a big house an’ plenty er room fer him an’ his fambly; an’ he aint had mo’ dan he need, kaze all er his fambly wuz fat an’ had what folks calls heft—de nachal plunkness.



“He had a son name Simmon, an’ a gal name Sue, not countin’ his ol’ ’oman, an’ dey all live wid one an’er day atter day, an’ night atter night; an’ when one un um went abroad, dey’d be spected home ’bout meal-time, ef not befo’, an’ dey segashuated right along fum day ter day, washin’ der face an’ han’s in de same wash-pan in de back po’ch, an’ wipin’ on de same towel same ez all happy famblies allers does.

“Well, time went on an’ fotched de changes dat might be spected, an’ one day dar come a mighty knockin’ on Brer B’ar’s do’. Brer B’ar, he holla out, he did. ‘Who dat come a-knockin’ dis time er de year, ’fo’ de corn’s done planted, er de cotton-crap’s pitched?’ De one at de do’ make a big noise, an’ rattle de hinges. Brer B’ar holla out, he did, ‘Don’t t’ar down my house! Who is you, anyhow, an’ what you want?’ An’ de answer come, ‘I’m one an’ darfo’ not two; ef youer mo’ dan one, who is you an’ what you doin’ in dar?’ Brer B’ar, he say, sezee, ‘I’m all er one an’ mighty nigh two, but I’d thank you fer ter tell me yo’ full fambly name.’ Den de answer come.

“‘I’m de knocker an’ de mover bofe, an’ ef I can’t clim’ over I’ll crawl under ef you do but gi’ me de word. Some calls me Brer Polecat, an’ some a big word dat it aint wuff while ter ermember, but I wanter move in. It’s mighty col’ out here, an’ all I meets tells me it’s mighty warm in dar whar you is.’ Den ol’ Brer B’ar say, sezee. ‘It’s warm nuff fer dem what stays in here, but not nigh so warm fer dem on de outside. What does you reely want?’ Brer Polecat ’spon’, he did, ‘I wants a heap er things dat I don’t git. I’m a mighty good housekeeper, but I takes notice dat dar’s mighty few folks dat wants me ter keep house fer um.’ Brer B’ar say, sezee, ‘I aint got no room fer no housekeeper; we aint skacely got room fer ter go ter bed. Ef you kin keep my house on de outside, you er mighty welcome.’

“Brer Polecat say, ‘You may think you aint got no room, but I bet you got des ez much room ez anybody what I know. Ef you let me in dar one time, I boun’ you I’ll make all de room I want.’”

Uncle Remus paused to see what effect this statement would have on the little boy. He closed his eyes, as though he were tired, but when he opened them again, he saw the faint shadow of a smile on the child’s face. “’Taint gwine ter hurt you fer ter laugh a little bit, honey. Brer Polecat come in Brer B’ar’s house, an’ he had sech a bad breff dat dey all hatter git out—an’ he stayed an’ stayed twel time stopped runnin’ ag’in’ him.”