Showing posts with label Book:Told-By. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Book:Told-By. Show all posts
Thursday, December 13, 2018
C144. The Reason Why
1. The Reason Why. There is no story here; it is an introduction to the new book.
C145. Why Mr. Cricket Has Elbows on His Legs
2. Why Mr. Cricket Has Elbows on His Legs. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.
I'm going tell you about old Grandaddy Cricket. He must've been a grandaddy long about the time that my great-grandaddy's great-grandaddy was working for his great-grandaddy. Howsomever that might be, old Grandaddy Cricket was on hand, and from all I hear he was bigger than a middling-size goat. All enduring of the hot weather, he'd stay out in the woods with his fife and his fiddle, and I expect he had great times. One day he'd fiddle for the fishes for to dance, and the next he'd learn the young birds how to whistle with his fife. Day in and day out he frolicked and had his fun, but by and by the weather begun to get cool and the days begun to get shorter, and old Grandaddy Cricket had to keep his hands in his pockets from soon in the morning till ten o'clock. And 'long about the time when the sun start down hill, he'd have to put his fiddle under his arm and his fife in his side-pocket.
This was bad enough, but worse come. It got so cold that Grandaddy Cricket can't scarcely walk till the sun was shining right over him. More than that, he begun to get hungry and stay hungry. If you'd've seed him in the hot weather, fiddling and dancing, and fifing and prancing, you'd've thunk that he had a stack of vittles put by as big as the barn back yonder; but by and by it got so cold that he know something got to be done. He know something got to be done, but how or when he couldn't've told you if it had've been the last act. He went along, creeping and crawling from post to pillar, and he remembered the days when he went with a hop, skip and a jump, but he was too cold for to cry.
He crept along, trying to keep on the sunny side of the world, till by and by, one day he seed smoke a-rising way off yonder, and he know'd mighty well that where there's smoke there pleased to be fire. He crept and he crawled, and by and by he come close enough to the smoke for to see that it was coming out of a chimney that'd been built on one end of a house. It weren't like the houses what you see up yonder in Atlanta, 'cause it was made out of logs, and the chink 'twixt the logs was stopped up with red clay. The chimney was made out of sticks and stones and mud.
Grandaddy Cricket was forty-eleven times bigger than what his family is these days, but he weren't so big that he couldn't crawl under the house, 'cause it was propped up on pillars. So under the house he went and scrounge close to the chimney for to see if he can't get some of the warmth, but, bless you, it was stone cold. If it had've been like the chimneys is these days, old Grandaddy Cricket would've friz stiff, but it was plain, everyday mud plastered on some sticks laid crossways. It was hard for old Grandaddy Cricket for to work his way into the chimney, but harder for to stay out of the cold—so he sat in to work. He gnawed and he sawed, he scratched and he clawed, he pushed and he gouged, and he shoved and he scrounged, till, by and by, he got where he could feel some of the warmth of the fire, and it weren't long 'fore he was feeling fine.
He ain't no sooner get thawed out than he begun to feel good. There was some cracks and crannies in the hearth of the fireplace, and when the chillun eat their mush and milk, some of the crumbs'd sift through the hearth. Old Grandaddy Cricket smelt 'em, and felt 'em, and held 'em, and after that you couldn't make him believe that he wasn't in hog-heaven.
The place where he was at weren't roomy enough for fiddling, but he took out his fife and begun to play on it, and every time he hear a noise he'd cut the tune short. He'd blow a little and then break off, but take the day as it come, he put in a right smart lot of fifing. When night come, and everything was dark down there where he was at, he just turned hisself loose. The chillun in the house, they just listen and laugh, but their daddy shake his head and look sour. There weren't no crickets in the country where he come from, and he weren't used to 'em. But the mammy of the chillun ain't pay no attention to the fifing; she just went on about her business like there ain't no cricket in the round world.
Old Grandaddy Cricket he fifed and fifed just like he was doing it for pay. He played the chillun off to bed and played 'em to sleep; he played till the old man got to nid-nid-nodding by the fire; he played till they* all went to bed except the mammy, and he played whiles she sat by the hearth, and dreamt about the times when she was a gal—the old times that make the grandchillun feel so funny when they hear tell about 'em.
Night after night the fifing went on, and by and by the man begun to get tired. The woman, she say that the crickets brung good luck, but the man, he say he'd rather have more luck and less fifing.
So he holler down through the crack in the hearth, and tell old Grandaddy Cricket for to hush his fuss or change his tune. But the fifing went on. The man holler down and say that if the fifing don't stop, he going to pour boiling water on the fifer. old Grandaddy Cricket holler back:
Hot water will turn me brown,
And then I'll kick your chimney down.
The man, he grin, he did, and then he put the kettle on the fire and kept it there till the water begun to boil, and then, whiles the fifing was at the loudest, he took the kettle and tilted it so the scalding water will run down through the cracks, and then the first thing he knowed he ain't know nothing, 'cause the water weakened the clay and the hearth fell in and old Grandaddy Cricket sat in to kicking, and the chimney come down, it did, and bury the man, and when they got him out, he was one-eyed and splay-footed.
The woman and the chillun ain't scarcely know him. They had to ask him his name, and where he come from, and how old he was; and after he satisfied 'em that he was the same man what been living there all the time, the woman say, "Ain't I tell you that crickets fetch good luck?" and the man, he allow, "Does you call this good luck?"
Old Grandaddy Cricket kicked so hard, and kicked so high, that he unjoined both his legs, and when he crawled out from the chimney, his elbows was where his knees ought to be at. There weren't but one thing he could do; he went on to next house and got in the chimney and he been living in chimneys off and on down to this day and time.
GRANDADDY CRICKET in the CHIMNEY
I'm going tell you about old Grandaddy Cricket. He must've been a grandaddy long about the time that my great-grandaddy's great-grandaddy was working for his great-grandaddy. Howsomever that might be, old Grandaddy Cricket was on hand, and from all I hear he was bigger than a middling-size goat. All enduring of the hot weather, he'd stay out in the woods with his fife and his fiddle, and I expect he had great times. One day he'd fiddle for the fishes for to dance, and the next he'd learn the young birds how to whistle with his fife. Day in and day out he frolicked and had his fun, but by and by the weather begun to get cool and the days begun to get shorter, and old Grandaddy Cricket had to keep his hands in his pockets from soon in the morning till ten o'clock. And 'long about the time when the sun start down hill, he'd have to put his fiddle under his arm and his fife in his side-pocket.
This was bad enough, but worse come. It got so cold that Grandaddy Cricket can't scarcely walk till the sun was shining right over him. More than that, he begun to get hungry and stay hungry. If you'd've seed him in the hot weather, fiddling and dancing, and fifing and prancing, you'd've thunk that he had a stack of vittles put by as big as the barn back yonder; but by and by it got so cold that he know something got to be done. He know something got to be done, but how or when he couldn't've told you if it had've been the last act. He went along, creeping and crawling from post to pillar, and he remembered the days when he went with a hop, skip and a jump, but he was too cold for to cry.
He crept along, trying to keep on the sunny side of the world, till by and by, one day he seed smoke a-rising way off yonder, and he know'd mighty well that where there's smoke there pleased to be fire. He crept and he crawled, and by and by he come close enough to the smoke for to see that it was coming out of a chimney that'd been built on one end of a house. It weren't like the houses what you see up yonder in Atlanta, 'cause it was made out of logs, and the chink 'twixt the logs was stopped up with red clay. The chimney was made out of sticks and stones and mud.
Grandaddy Cricket was forty-eleven times bigger than what his family is these days, but he weren't so big that he couldn't crawl under the house, 'cause it was propped up on pillars. So under the house he went and scrounge close to the chimney for to see if he can't get some of the warmth, but, bless you, it was stone cold. If it had've been like the chimneys is these days, old Grandaddy Cricket would've friz stiff, but it was plain, everyday mud plastered on some sticks laid crossways. It was hard for old Grandaddy Cricket for to work his way into the chimney, but harder for to stay out of the cold—so he sat in to work. He gnawed and he sawed, he scratched and he clawed, he pushed and he gouged, and he shoved and he scrounged, till, by and by, he got where he could feel some of the warmth of the fire, and it weren't long 'fore he was feeling fine.
He ain't no sooner get thawed out than he begun to feel good. There was some cracks and crannies in the hearth of the fireplace, and when the chillun eat their mush and milk, some of the crumbs'd sift through the hearth. Old Grandaddy Cricket smelt 'em, and felt 'em, and held 'em, and after that you couldn't make him believe that he wasn't in hog-heaven.
The place where he was at weren't roomy enough for fiddling, but he took out his fife and begun to play on it, and every time he hear a noise he'd cut the tune short. He'd blow a little and then break off, but take the day as it come, he put in a right smart lot of fifing. When night come, and everything was dark down there where he was at, he just turned hisself loose. The chillun in the house, they just listen and laugh, but their daddy shake his head and look sour. There weren't no crickets in the country where he come from, and he weren't used to 'em. But the mammy of the chillun ain't pay no attention to the fifing; she just went on about her business like there ain't no cricket in the round world.
Old Grandaddy Cricket he fifed and fifed just like he was doing it for pay. He played the chillun off to bed and played 'em to sleep; he played till the old man got to nid-nid-nodding by the fire; he played till they* all went to bed except the mammy, and he played whiles she sat by the hearth, and dreamt about the times when she was a gal—the old times that make the grandchillun feel so funny when they hear tell about 'em.
Night after night the fifing went on, and by and by the man begun to get tired. The woman, she say that the crickets brung good luck, but the man, he say he'd rather have more luck and less fifing.
So he holler down through the crack in the hearth, and tell old Grandaddy Cricket for to hush his fuss or change his tune. But the fifing went on. The man holler down and say that if the fifing don't stop, he going to pour boiling water on the fifer. old Grandaddy Cricket holler back:
Hot water will turn me brown,
And then I'll kick your chimney down.
The man, he grin, he did, and then he put the kettle on the fire and kept it there till the water begun to boil, and then, whiles the fifing was at the loudest, he took the kettle and tilted it so the scalding water will run down through the cracks, and then the first thing he knowed he ain't know nothing, 'cause the water weakened the clay and the hearth fell in and old Grandaddy Cricket sat in to kicking, and the chimney come down, it did, and bury the man, and when they got him out, he was one-eyed and splay-footed.
The woman and the chillun ain't scarcely know him. They had to ask him his name, and where he come from, and how old he was; and after he satisfied 'em that he was the same man what been living there all the time, the woman say, "Ain't I tell you that crickets fetch good luck?" and the man, he allow, "Does you call this good luck?"
Old Grandaddy Cricket kicked so hard, and kicked so high, that he unjoined both his legs, and when he crawled out from the chimney, his elbows was where his knees ought to be at. There weren't but one thing he could do; he went on to next house and got in the chimney and he been living in chimneys off and on down to this day and time.
C146. How Wiley Wolf Rode in the Bag
3. How Wiley Wolf Rode in the Bag. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg.
Brer Rabbit'd move sometimes just like the folks does these days. He'd move, but most always he'd take a notion for to come back to his old home. Sometimes he had to move, the other critters pursued after him so close, but they always got the ragged end of the pursuing, and there was times when they'd be right neighborly with him.
it was about the time that Brer Wolf had kind of made up his mind that he can't outdo Brer Rabbit, no way he can fix it, and he say to hisself that he better let him alone till he can get him in a corner where he can't get out. So Brer Wolf, he live with his family on one side the road, and Brer Rabbit live with his family on the other side, not close enough for to quarrel about the fence line, and yet close enough for their youngest chillun to play together whiles the old folks was paying their Sunday calls.
It went on and went on this way till it look like Brer Rabbit done forget how to play tricks on his neighbors and Brer Wolf done disremembered that he ever is try for to catch Brer Rabbit for meat for his family. One Sunday in special, they was mighty friendly. It was Brer Rabbit's time for to call on Brer Wolf, and both of 'em was setting up in the porch just as natural as life. Brer Rabbit was chewing his tobacco and spitting over the railing and Brer Wolf was grinning about old times, and picking his toothies, which they look mighty white and sharp. They was sitting up there, they was, just as thick as fleas on a dog's back, and looking like butter won't melt in their mouth.
Brer Rabbit'd move sometimes just like the folks does these days. He'd move, but most always he'd take a notion for to come back to his old home. Sometimes he had to move, the other critters pursued after him so close, but they always got the ragged end of the pursuing, and there was times when they'd be right neighborly with him.
it was about the time that Brer Wolf had kind of made up his mind that he can't outdo Brer Rabbit, no way he can fix it, and he say to hisself that he better let him alone till he can get him in a corner where he can't get out. So Brer Wolf, he live with his family on one side the road, and Brer Rabbit live with his family on the other side, not close enough for to quarrel about the fence line, and yet close enough for their youngest chillun to play together whiles the old folks was paying their Sunday calls.
It went on and went on this way till it look like Brer Rabbit done forget how to play tricks on his neighbors and Brer Wolf done disremembered that he ever is try for to catch Brer Rabbit for meat for his family. One Sunday in special, they was mighty friendly. It was Brer Rabbit's time for to call on Brer Wolf, and both of 'em was setting up in the porch just as natural as life. Brer Rabbit was chewing his tobacco and spitting over the railing and Brer Wolf was grinning about old times, and picking his toothies, which they look mighty white and sharp. They was sitting up there, they was, just as thick as fleas on a dog's back, and looking like butter won't melt in their mouth.
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And whiles they was setting there, little Wiley Wolf and Riley Rabbit was playing in the yard just like chillun will. They run and they romped, they frisk and they frolic, they jump and they hump, they hide and they slide, and it look like they had more fun than a mule can pull in a wagon. Little Wiley Wolf, he'd run after Riley Rabbit, and then Riley Rabbit'd run after Wiley Wolf, and here they had it up and down and round and round, till it look like they'd run theyself to death. About the time you'd think they pleased to drop, one of 'em would holler out, "King's Excuse!' and in them days, when you say that, nobody can't catch you, it ain't make no difference who, 'cause if they dares to lay hands on you after you say that, they could be took to the place where they done their judging, and if they weren't mighty sharp they'd get put in jail.
Now, whiles Wiley Wolf and Riley Rabbit was having their fun, their daddies was pleased to hear the racket what they make, and see the dust they raise. They squealed and they squalled, and ripped around till you'd've thunk they was a good size whirlwind blowing in the yard. Brer Rabbit chewed his tobacco right slow and shut one eye, and old Brer Wolf lick his chops and grin. Brer Rabbit allow, "The youngsters is getting mighty familious," and old Brer Wolf say, "They is indeedy, and I hope they'll keep it up. You know how we used to be, Brer Rabbit; we was constant a-playing tricks on one another, and it looked like we was always at outs. I hope the younguns'll have better manners!"
They sat there, they did, talking about old times, till the sun got low, and the visiting had to be cut short. Brer Rabbit say that he had to cut some kindling so his old woman can get supper, and Brer Wolf allow that he always cut his kindling on Saturday so he can have all Sunday to hisself, and smoke his pipe in peace. He went a piece of the way with Brer Rabbit, and Wiley Wolf, he come, too, and him and Riley Rabbit had all sorts of a time after they got in the big road. There was bushes on both sides, and they kept up their game of hide and seek just as far as Brer Wolf went, but by and by, he say he gone far enough, and he say he hope Brer Rabbit'll come again right soon, and let Riley come and play with Wiley enduring of the week.
Not to be outdone, Brer Rabbit invite Brer Wolf for to come and see him, and likewise to let Wiley come and play with Riley. "They ain't nothing but chillun," says he, "and look like they done took a liking to one another."
On the way back home, Brer Wolf make a mighty strong talk to Wiley. He say, "It's more than likely that the little Rab will come to play with you some day when there ain't nobody here, and when he do, I want you to play the game o* riding in the bag."
Wiley Wolf say he ain't never hear tell of that game, and old Brer Wolf say it's easy as falling off a log. "You get in the bag,' says he, "and let him haul you round the yard, and then he'll get in the bag for you to haul him 'round. What you want to do is to get him used to the bag; you hear that, don't you? Get him use to the bag."
So when little Riley come, the two of 'em had a great time of riding in the bag; it was just like riding in a wagon, excepting that Riley Rabbit look like he ain't got no more sense than to haul little Wiley Wolf over the roughest ground he can find, and when Wiley hollered that he hurt him, Riley'd say he won't do it no more, but the next chance he got, he'd do it again.
Well, they had all sorts of a time, and when Riley Rabbit went home, he up and told 'em all what they'd been a-playing. Brer Rabbit ain't say nothing; he just sat there, he did, and chew his tobacco, and shut one eye.
And when old Brer Wolf come home that night, Wiley told him about the good time they'd had. Brer Wolf grin, he did, and lick his chops. He say, says he, "There's two parts to that game. When you get tired of riding in the bag, you tie the bag." He went on, he did, and told Wiley that what he want him to do is to play riding in the bag till both got tired, and then play tying the bag, and at the last he was to tie the bag so little Riley Rabbit can't get out, and then to go to bed and cover up his head.
So said, so done. Little Riley Rabbit come and played riding in the bag, and then when they got tired, they played tying the bag. It was mighty funny for to tie one another in the bag, and not know if it was going to be untied. I don't know what would've happen to little Riley Rab if old Brer Rabbit ain't come along with a big load of suspicions. He call the little Rabbit to the fence. He talk loud and he say that he want him for to fetch a turn of kindling when he start home, and then he say to Riley, "Be tied in the bag once more, and then when Wiley gets in, tie him in there hard and fast. Wet the string in you mouth, and pull it just as tight as you kin. Then you come on home; you mammy want you."
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The last time Wiley Wolf got in the bag, little Riley tied it so tight that he couldn't've got it loose if he'd've tried. He tied it tight, he did, and then he allow, "I got to go home for to get some kindling, and when I do that, I'll come back and play till supper-time." But if he ever is went back there, I ain't never hear talk of it.
Wiley Wolf was in the bag, right where Riley Rab lef' him. He was in the bag and there he stayed till old Brer Wolf come from where he been working in the field—the critters was mostly farmers in them days. He come back, he did, and he see the bag, and he know by the bulk of it that there was something in it, and he was so greedy that his mouth fair dribbled. Now, then, when Wiley Wolf got in the bag, he was mighty tired. He'd been a-scuffling an a-wrastling till he was plumb wore out. He hear Riley Rab say he was coming back, and while he was waiting, he dropped off to sleep, and there he was when his daddy come home—sound asleep.
Old Brer Wolf ain't got but one idea, and that was that Riley Rab was in the bag, so he went to the window, and ask if the pot was boiling, and his old woman say it was. With that, he pick up the bag, and 'fore you could bat your eye, he had it soused in the pot.
That's the way the tale runs; as they given it to me, so I give it to you.
C147. Brother Rabbit's Laughing-Place
4. Brother Rabbit's Laughing-Place. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.
Now, about that laughing-place—it seem like that one time the critters got to disputing amongst theyselves as to which one can laugh the loudest. One word fetch on another till it look like they was going to be a free fight, a rumpus and a riot. They showed their claws and tooths, and shook their horns, and rattle their hoof. They had their bristles up, and it look like their eyes was running blood, they got so red.
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Now, about that laughing-place—it seem like that one time the critters got to disputing amongst theyselves as to which one can laugh the loudest. One word fetch on another till it look like they was going to be a free fight, a rumpus and a riot. They showed their claws and tooths, and shook their horns, and rattle their hoof. They had their bristles up, and it look like their eyes was running blood, they got so red.
Just about the time when it look like you can't keep 'em apart, little Miss Squinch Owl flewed up a tree and allow, "You all don't know what laughing is—ha-ha-ha-ha! You can't laugh when you try to laugh—ha-ha-ha-haha!"
The critters was astonished. Here was a little fowl not much bigger than a jay-bird laughing herself blind when there weren't a thing in the round world for to laugh at. They stop their quarreling after that and look at one another.
Brer Bull say, "Is anybody ever hear the beat of that? Who might the lady be?"
They all say they don't know, and they got a mighty good reason for their say-so, 'cause Miss Squinch Owl, she flies at night with the bats and the betsy bugs.
Well, they quit their quarreling, the critters did, but they still had their dispute; the coming of Miss Squinch Owl ain't settle that. So they agree that they'd meet somewheres when the weather got better, and try their hand at laughing for to see which one can outdo the other. They say they was going to make trial for to see which and is the out-laughingest of the whole caboodle, and they name the day, and all promise for to be there, excepting Brer Rabbit, and he allow that he can laugh well enough for to suit hisself and his family, besides that, he don't care about laughing unless there's something for to laugh at. The other critters they beg him for to come, but he shake his head and wiggle his mustache, and say that when he want to laugh, he got a laughing-place for to go to, where he won't be pestered by the balance of creation. He say he can go there and laugh his fill, and then go on about his business, if he got any business, and if he ain't got none, he can go to play.
The other critters ain't know what to make of all this, and they wonder and wonder how Brer Rabbit can have a laughing-place and they ain't got none. When they ask him about it, he respond, he did, that he expect it was just the difference 'twixt one critter and another. He ask 'em for to look at folks, how different they was, let alone the critters. One man'd be rich and another man poor, and he ask how come that.
Well, sir, they just naturally can't tell him what make the difference 'twixt folks no more than they can tell him the difference 'twixt the critters. They was stumped; they done forget all about the trial what was to come off, but Brer Rabbit fetch 'em back to it. He say they ain't no needs for to see which can outdo all the balance of 'em in the laughing business, 'cause anybody what got any sense know that the donkey is a natural laugher, same as Brer Coon is a natural pacer.
Brer Bear look at Brer Wolf, and Brer Wolf look at Brer Fox, and then they all look at one another. Brer Bull, he say, "Well, well, well!" and then he groan; Brer Bear say, "Who'd've thunk it?" and then he growl; and Brer Wolf say "Gracious me!" and then he howl. After that, they ain't say much, 'cause there ain't much for to say. They just stand round and look kind of sheepish. They ain't dispute with Brer Rabbit, though they'd've like to've done it, but they sat about and make marks in the sand just like you see folks do when they're trying for to get their thinking machine to work.
Well, sir, there they sat and there they stood. They ask Brer Rabbit how he know how to find his laughing-place, and how he know it was a laughing-place after he got there. He tap hisself on the head, he did, and allow that there was a heap more under his hat than what you could get out with a fine-tooth comb. Then they ask if they can see his laughing-place, and he say he'd take the idea to bed with him, and study upon it, but he can say this much right then, that if he did let 'em see it, they'd had to go there one at a time, and they'd had to do just like he say; if they don't they'll get the notion that it's a crying-place.
They agree to this, the critters did, and then Brer Rabbit say that while they are all their together, they better choosen amonst theyself which one of 'em was going first, and he'd choosen the rest when the time come. They jowered and jowered, and by and by, they had to leave it all to Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit, he put his hand to his head, and shot his eyeballs and do like he studying.
He say, "The more I think about who shall be the first one, the more I get the idea that it ought to be Brer Fox. He been here long as anybody, and he's pretty well thunk of by the neighbors—I ain't never hear nobody breathe a breath against him."
Then, after that, it was all plain sailing. Brer Rabbit say he'd meet Brer Fox at such and such a place, at such and such a time, and after that there weren't no more to be said. The critters all went to the place where they live at, and done just like they always done.
They agree to this, the critters did, and then Brer Rabbit say that while they are all their together, they better choosen amonst theyself which one of 'em was going first, and he'd choosen the rest when the time come. They jowered and jowered, and by and by, they had to leave it all to Brer Rabbit. Brer Rabbit, he put his hand to his head, and shot his eyeballs and do like he studying.
He say, "The more I think about who shall be the first one, the more I get the idea that it ought to be Brer Fox. He been here long as anybody, and he's pretty well thunk of by the neighbors—I ain't never hear nobody breathe a breath against him."
They all say that they had Brer Fox in mind all the time, but somehow they can't come right out with his name, and they vow that if they had agreed on somebody, that somebody would sure've been Brer Fox.
Then, after that, it was all plain sailing. Brer Rabbit say he'd meet Brer Fox at such and such a place, at such and such a time, and after that there weren't no more to be said. The critters all went to the place where they live at, and done just like they always done.
Brer Rabbit make a soon start for to go to the point where he promise to meet Brer Fox, but soon as he was, Brer Fox was there before him. It seem like he was so much in the habits of being outdone by Brer Rabbit that he can't do without it. Brer Rabbit bow, he did, and pass the time of day with Brer Fox, and ask him how his family was. Brer Fox say they was pert as can be, and then he allow that he ready and a-waiting for to go and see that great laughing-place what Brer Rabbit been talking about.
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Brer Rabbit say that suit him to a gnat's heel, and off they put. By and by they come to one of these here clear places that you sometimes see in the middle of a pine thicket. You may ask yourself how come they don't no trees grow there when there's trees all round, but you ain't going to get no answer, and neither is there anybody what can tell you.
They got there, they did, and then Brer Rabbit make a halt. Brer Fox allow, "Is this the place? I don't feel no more like laughing now than I did 'fore I come."
Brer Rabbit, he say, "Just keep your jacket on, Brer Fox; if you get in too big a hurry it might come off. We done come mighty nigh to the place, and if you want to do some old time laughing, you'll have to do just like I tell you; if you don't want to laugh, I'll just show you the place, and we'll go on back where we come from, 'cause this is one of the days that I ain't got much time to waste laughing or crying."
Brer Fox allow that he ain't so mighty greedy to laugh, and with that, Brer Rabbit whirl round, he did, and make out he going on back where he live at. Brer Fox holler at him; he say, "Come on back, Brer Rabbit; I'm just a-projecting with you."
"If you want to project, Brer Fox, you'll have to go home and project with them what want to be projected with. I ain't here 'cause I want to be here. You ask me for to show you my laughing-place, and I agreed. I expect we better be going on back."
Brer Fox say he come for to see Brer Rabbit's laughing-place, and he ain't going to be satisfy till he see it. Brer Rabbit allow that if that the case, then he must act the gentleman all the way through, and quit his behavishness. Brer Fox say he'll do the best he can, and then Brer Rabbit show him a place where the bamboo briars, and the blackberry bushes, and the honeysuckles done start to come in the pine thicket, and can't come no further. It weren't no thick place; it was just where the swamp at the foot of the hill petered out in trying to come to dry land. The bushes and vines was thin and scanty, and if they could've talked they'd've hollered loud for water.
Brer Rabbit show Brer Fox the place, and then tell him that the game is for to run full tilt through the vines and bushes, and then run back, and through 'em again and back, and he say he'd bet a plug of tobacco against a gingercake that by the time Brer Fox done this he'd be that tickled that he can't stand up for laughing. Brer Fox shook his head; he ain't nigh believe it, but for all that, he make up his mind for to do what Brer Rabbit say, spite of the fact that his old woman done tell him 'fore he left home that he better keep his eye open, 'cause Brer Rabbit going to run a rig on him.
He took a running start, he did, and he went through the bushes and the vines like he was running a race. He run and he come back a-running, and he run back, and that time he struck something with his head. He try to dodge it, but he seed it too late, and he was going too fast. He struck it, he did, and time he do that, he fetched a howl that you might've heard a mile, and after that, he hollered yap, yap, yap, and ouch, ouch, ouch, and yow, yow, yow, and whiles this was going on Brer Rabbit was thumping the ground with his behind foot, and laughing fit to kill.
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Brer Fox run round and round, and kept on snapping at hisself and doing like he was trying for to tear his hide off. He run, and he roll, and wallow, and holler, and fall, and squall till it look like he was having forty-eleven duck fits.
He got still after while, but the more stiller he got, the worse he looked. His head was all swell up, and he look like he been run over in the road by a four-mule wagon.
Brer Rabbit allow, "I'm glad you had such a good time, Brer Fox; I'll had to fetch you out again. You sure done like you was having fun."
Brer Fox ain't say a word; he was too mad for to talk. He just sat around and lick hisself and try to get his hair straight.
Brer Rabbit allow, "You ripped around in there till I was scared you was going to hurt yourself, and I believe in my soul you done gone and bump your head again a tree, 'cause it's all swell up. You better go home, Brer Fox, and let you old woman poultice you up."
Brer Fox show his tooths, and say, "You said this was a laughing-place."
Brer Rabbit allow, "I said it was my laughing-place, and I'll say it again. What you reckon I been doing all this time? Ain't you hear me laughing? And what you been doing? I hear you making a mighty fuss in there, and I say to myself that Brer Fox is having a mighty big time."
"I let you know that I ain't been laughing," says Brer Fox, says he.
He run to the East and he run to the West
And jammed his head in a hornets' nest!
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C148. Brother Rabbit and the Chickens
5. Brother Rabbit and the Chickens. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.
One time, 'way back yonder there was a man what live neighbor to the critters. There weren't nothing queer about this Mr. Man; he was just a plain, everyday kind of man, and he try to get along the best he can. He ain't had no easy time, neither, 'cause it weren't then like it is now, when you can take your cotton or your corn to town and have the money planked down for you. In them times there weren't no town, and not much money. What folks there was had to get along by swapping and trafficking. How they done it, I'll never tell you, but do it they did, and it seem like they was in about as happy as folks is these days.
One time, 'way back yonder there was a man what live neighbor to the critters. There weren't nothing queer about this Mr. Man; he was just a plain, everyday kind of man, and he try to get along the best he can. He ain't had no easy time, neither, 'cause it weren't then like it is now, when you can take your cotton or your corn to town and have the money planked down for you. In them times there weren't no town, and not much money. What folks there was had to get along by swapping and trafficking. How they done it, I'll never tell you, but do it they did, and it seem like they was in about as happy as folks is these days.
Well, this here Mr. Man what I'm a-telling you about, he had a truck patch, and a roasting-ear patch, and a goober patch. He growed wheat and barley, and likewise rye, and kiss the gals and make 'em cry. And on top of that, he had a whole yard full of chickens, and there's where the trouble come in. In them times, all of the critters was meat-eaters, and it was in about as much as they can do, and sometimes a little more, for to get along so they won't go to bed hungry. They got in the habit of being hungry, and they ain't never get over it. Look at Brer Wolf—gaunt; look at Brer Fox—gaunt! They ain't never been able for to make theyself fat.
So then, as you see 'em now, that the way they was in them days, and a little more so. Mr. Man, he had chickens, just like I tell you. Hens as plump as a partridge; pullets so slick they'd make your mouth water, and frying-size chickens that look like the* want to get right in the pan. Now, when that's the case, what you reckon going to happen? Brer Wolf want chicken, Brer Fox want chicken, and Brer Rabbit want chicken. And they ain't got nothing what they can swap for 'em. In these days they'd be called poor, but I take notice that poor folks gets just as hungry as the rich ones—and hungrier, when it comes to that; yes, Lord! Lots hungrier.
Well, the critters got mighty friendly with Mr. Man. They'd call on him, specially on Sundays, and he ain't had no better sense than to cluck up his chickens just to show 'em what a nice passel he had. When this happen, Brer Wolf under-jaw would tremble, and Brer Fox would dribble at the mouth same as a baby what cutting his toothies. As for Brer Rabbit, he'd just laugh, and nobody ain't know what he laughing at.
It went on this way till it look like nature can't stand it, and then, by and by, one night when the moon ain't shining, Brer Rabbit take a notion that he'd call on Mr. Man; but when he got to the place, Mr. Man done gone to bed. The lights was all out, and the dog was curled up under the house sound asleep.
Brer Rabbit shake his head. He allow, "Surely there's something wrong, 'cause always, when I come, Mr. Man call up his chickens where I can look at 'em. I don't know what the matter with him. And I don't see no chickens, neither. I bound you something done happen, and nobody ain't tell me the news, 'cause they know how sorry I'd be. If I could get in the house, I'd go in there and see if everything is all right; but I can't get in."
He walk all 'round, he did, but he ain't see nobody. He was so scared he'd wake 'em up that he walk on his tippy-toes. He allow, "If Mr. Man knowed I was here, he'd come out and show me his chickens, and I just might as well look in and see if they are all right."
With that he went to the chicken-house and peep in, but he can't see nothing. He went to the door, and found it unlocked. Brer Rabbit grin, he did, and allow, "Mr. Man most knowed that I'd be along some time to-day, and done gone and left his chicken-house open so I can see his pullets—and he knowed that if I can't see 'em, I'd want to feel 'em for to see how slick and pretty they is."
Brer Rabbit slap hisself on the leg and laugh fit to kill. He ain't make fuss enough for to wake Mr. Man, but he woke the fat hens and the slick pullets, and they ask one another what the name of goodness is the matter. Brer Rabbit laugh and say to hisself that if he'd've brung a bag, it'd make a good overcoat for four or five of the fat hens, and six or seven of the slick pullets.
Then he allow, "Why, what is I thinking about? I got a bag in my hand, and I forget that I had it. It's mighty lucky for the chickens that I fetch it, 'cause a little more—and they'd've been friz stiff!" So he scoop in the bag as many as he can tote.
He allow, "I'll take 'em home and kind of get 'em warm, and tomorrow Mr. Man can have 'em back—if he want 'em." And with that he mighty nigh choke hisself trying for to keep from laughing. The chickens kind of flutter, but they ain't make much fuss, and Brer Rabbit flung the sack 'cross his shoulders and went off home just as gayly as a colt in a barley patch.
If Brer Rabbit had've been folks, it'd be called stealing, but you know mighty well that the critters don't know the difference 'twixt taking and stealing. When it come to that, there's a-plenty folks that ain't know the difference, and how you going to blame the critters?
Brer Rabbit took the chickens on home, he did, and made way with 'em. Now, that was the last of the chickens, but just the beginnings of the feathers. Ole Miss Rabbit, she want to burn 'em in the fire, but Brer Rabbit say the whole neighborhood would smell 'em, and he allow that he got a better way than that. So, next morning after breakfast, he borrowed a bag from old Brer Wolf, and into this he stuff the feathers, and start off down the road.
Well, sir, as luck would have it, Brer Rabbit had to pass by Brer Fox house, and who should be standing at the gate with his walking-cane in hand, but Brer Fox? Brer Fox, he fetched a bow, with, "Brer Rabbit, where you going?"
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Brer Rabbit allow, "If I had the wind, Brer Fox, I'd be going to mill. This here's a terrible load I got, and I don't know how soon I'll give out. I ain't strong in the back and limber in the knees like I used to be, Brer Fox. You may be holding you own, and I hope you is, but I'm on the down grade, there ain't no two ways about that." With that, he sat the bag down by the side of the road, and wipe his face with his handkerchief.
Brer Fox, he come on where Brer Rabbit was a-sitting at, and ask if it's corn or wheat. Brer Rabbit allow that it ain't neither one; it's just some stuff that he going to sell to the miller.
Brer Fox, he want to know what it is so bad he ain't know what to do, and he up and ask Brer Rabbit pointedly. Brer Rabbit say he feared to tell him 'cause the truck what he got in the bag is the onliest way he can make big money.
Brer Fox vow he won't tell nobody, and then Brer Rabbit say that being as him and Brer Fox is such good friends—neighbors, as you might say—he don't mind telling him, 'cause he know that after Brer Fox done promise, he won't breathe a word about it. Then he say that the truck what he got in the bag is roots of the Winniannimus grass, and when they're ground up at the mill, they are worth nine dollars a pound.
This make Brer Fox open his eyes. He felt the heft of the bag, he did, and he say that it's mighty light, and he don't know what make Brer Rabbit pant and grunt when it ain't no heftier than what it is.
Brer Rabbit allow that the bag wouldn't've felt heavy to him if he was big and strong like Brer Fox.
That kind of talk make Brer Fox feel biggity, and he allow that he'll tote the bag to mill if Brer Rabbit feel like it's too heavy. Brer Rabbit say he'll be mighty much obliged, and be glad for to pay Brer Fox something to boot.
And so, off they put down the road, Brer Fox a-trotting and Brer Rabbit going in a canter. Brer Fox ask what they does with the Winniannimus grass after they gets it ground up at the mill. Brer Rabbit allow that rich folks buys it for to make Whipmewhopme pudding.
Brer Fox say he'll take some home when the miller get it ground and see how it tastes, and Brer Rabbit say he's more than welcome.
After they been going on some little time, Brer Rabbit look back and see Mr. Man a-coming, and he say to Brer Fox, says he, "Brer Fox, you is the outdoingest man I ever is see. You done got me plumg wore out, and I'm pleased to take a rest. You go on and I'll catch up with you if I can; if not, just wait for me at the mill."
Brer Fox allow, "Shucks, Brer Rabbit! You ain't acquainted with me; you don't know nothing at all about me. I can go on this a-way all day long and half the night."
Brer Rabbit roll his big eyes, and say, "Well, sir!" And then he sat down by the side of the road, and it was all he can do for to keep from busting out in a big laugh.
By and by, Mr. Man come along and say, "Who that with the big bag on his back?"
Brer Rabbit make answer that it's Brer Fox.
Mr. Man say, "What he got in his bag?"
Brer Rabbit allow, "I ask him, and he say it's some kind of grass what he taking to the mill for to get ground, but I seed more than one chicken feather sticking to the bag."
Mr. Man say, "Then he's the chap what took and took my fat hens and my slick pullets, and I'll make him sorry that he ever is see a chicken."
With that he put out after Brer Fox, and Brer Rabbit, he put out too, but he stay in the bushes, so that nobody can't see him.
Mr. Man he catch up with Brer Fox, and ask him what he got in the bag. Brer Fox say he got Winniannimus grass what he going to have ground at the mill. Mr. Man say he want to see what Winniannimus grass look like.
Brer Fox sat the bag down and say that when it's ground up the rich folks buys it for to make Whipmewhopme pudding.
Mr. Man open the bag, and there weren't nothing in it but chicken feathers. He allow, "Whipmewhopme pudding! I'll whip you and whop you," and with that he grab Brer Fox in the collar, and mighty nigh flailed the life out of him.
Brer Rabbit seed it well done, and he just fell down in the bushes and roll and laugh till he can't laugh no more.
C149. Mister Cricket and Brer Rabbit Play a Trick
6. Little Mister Cricket and the Other Creatures. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg.I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.
In the times when old Boss Elephant, and Brer Lion, and Brer Tiger was meandering round in there parts, little Mr. Cricket was on mighty good terms with 'em. As they say of folks, he stood mighty well where they knowed him—mighty well—and he was about the sharpest of the whole caboodle, if you'll leave out the name of Brer Rabbit.
It come about one time that the critters was all sunning theyself—it might've been Sunday for all I know—and they just stretch out and sat and sat round licking their chops, and blinking their eyes, and combing their hair. Mr. Elephant was swinging hisself backwards and forwards, and flinging the sand on his back for to keep off the flies, and all the rest was going on according to their breed and need.
MISTER CRICKET and BRER RABBIT PLAY a TRICK
In the times when old Boss Elephant, and Brer Lion, and Brer Tiger was meandering round in there parts, little Mr. Cricket was on mighty good terms with 'em. As they say of folks, he stood mighty well where they knowed him—mighty well—and he was about the sharpest of the whole caboodle, if you'll leave out the name of Brer Rabbit.
It come about one time that the critters was all sunning theyself—it might've been Sunday for all I know—and they just stretch out and sat and sat round licking their chops, and blinking their eyes, and combing their hair. Mr. Elephant was swinging hisself backwards and forwards, and flinging the sand on his back for to keep off the flies, and all the rest was going on according to their breed and need.
If you'll watch right close, you'll find out for yourself that when folks ain't got much to do, and little or nothing for to talk about, they'll soon get to bragging, and that's just the way with the critters. Brer Fox start it up; he say, "Gents, 'fore I forget it off of my mind, I want to tell you that I'm the swiftest one in this bunch."
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Mr. Elephant wink one of his little eyeballs, and fling his snout in the air and whispered—and you might've heard that whisper a mile—"I'm the strengthiest; I want to call your attention to that."
Mr. Lion shook his mane and showed his tooths. He say, "Don't forget that I'm the King of all the critter tribe."
Mr. Tiger stretched hisself and gaped. He say, "I'm the prettiest and the most servigorous."
From one to the other the bragging went round. If it weren't this it was that, and if it weren't that, it was the other. They went on so till by and by little Mr. Cricket chirped up and say he can make all of 'em run they heads off, from old Mr. Elephant down to the last one.
They all laugh like it's a good joke, and Brer Fox he allow that he had the idea that they was all doing some monstrous tall bragging, but Mr. Cricket was away ahead of the whole gang, and then he say, "How you going to begin for to commence for to do all these great deeds and didoes?"
Mr. Cricket say, "Just give me time; give me time, and you'll all hear from me—you'll hear, but you won't stop for to listen," and then he work his jaws for all the world like Brer Rabbit does when he's chewing tobacco.
Now, old Brer Rabbit knowed that Mr. Cricket was up to some sharp trick or another, and so he wait till he can have a confab with him. He ain't had long to wait, 'cause Mr. Crickley Cricket make up his mind that Brer Rabbit was the one what can help him out. They both want to see one another, and when that's the case, there ain't much trouble about it.
They soon got off by theyself, and Brer Rabbit allow that Mr. Cricket got a mighty big job on his hands, and Mr. Cricket, he say it's such a big job that he can't get through with it unless Brer Rabbit will help him out. Mr. Cricket say it ain't much he going to ask of Brer Rabbit, but little as it is, he pleased to ask it.
Brer Rabbit look at him right hard and twist his mustache. "Out with it, Mr. Cricket; out with it, and I'll see if I can help you out. But I want you to take notice that all the others is got a crow for to pick with me, on account of the way I been doing."
Mr. Cricket chirp up, "So I hear, Brer Rabbit—so I hear," and then he went on for to tell Brer Rabbit what he want him to do. Brer Rabbit laugh, he did, and say, "If that's all you want, Mr. Cricket, you can count me in, 'cause I laid off for to help you lots more than that—lots more." Mr. Cricket say that'll be the greatest plenty, and with that they went off home for to kind of rest theyself, but not 'fore they fix on a day when they'll have time for to work their trick on the other critters.
They agreed on the day, and that day they met, and after colloquying together, off they put to the place where they expected to find the other critters. The first one they meet was old Mr. Elephant. They pass the time of day, they did, and Brer Rabbit say he got bad news. Mr. Elephant flung up his snout like he astonished, and swung backward and forwards like he about to cry. Brer Rabbit allow that the wind blowed a hickory-nut down right upon top of Mr. Cricket and cripple him so he can't go home, and he ask if Mr. Elephant won't tote him as far as he can. Mr. Elephant say to be sure he will, and be glad in the bargain, and so he kneel down, he did, and let Mr. Cricket crawl on his back.
But Mr. Cricket crawl further than the back; he crawl on Mr. Elephant neck, and then into his ear. This where he want to get, and soon as he got settle, he flutter his wings right fast and Mr. Elephant think the wind is blowing through the trees. Mr. Cricket flutter his wings harder, and Mr. Elephant think there's a storm corning up. He plunge through the bushes, he did, and if Mr. Cricket hadn't've been inside his ear, he'd've been knocked off by the limbs of the trees. As it was, he sat back and laugh, and say to hisself that Mr. Elephant ain't hear nothing at all to what he will hear.
With that, he tune up his whistle, and started for to blow on it. He blowed kind of low to begin with, and then he begun to get louder. And the louder he got the more he scared Mr. Elephant, and he went plunging through the woods same as a hurricane.
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He went so fast that he come mighty nigh running over King Lion whiles he was talking to old Brer Tiger. He ain't hear 'em say, "Mr. Elephant, where you going?" but he stop right where they was and begun to turn round and round.
King Lion ask him what the matter, and Mr. Elephant say he believe he going raving distracted. He allow, "I got a singing and a whistling in one of my ears, and I don't know which one it's in. Don't you all hear it?"
They listen, they did, and bless gracious, they can hear it. Old King Lion look like he astonished. He say, "It sounds for all the world, Mr. Elephant, like you just about to boil over, and if that's what you're going to do, I want to be out of the way—clean out of the way."
Mr. Elephant turn round and round, he did, and if he'd've been light-headed like some folks I knows, he'd've dropped right there. Mr. Cricket watch his chance, and when Mr. Elephant got nigh to King Lion, he took a flying jump and lit right in King Lion's mane, and it weren't long 'fore he made his way to the ear. But while he was making his way there Mr. Elephant stopped whirling round; he stop and listen, he did, and he ain't hear nothing; he listen some more and still he ain't hear nothing. He say, "I believe in my soul that I'm cured! I'm mighty glad I met you all, 'cause I know one of you is a doctor, and ever which one it is, he sure has done the work."
By this time, Mr. Cricket had got in King Lion ear, and it weren't long 'fore he start up his whistling. He whistle low for to start with, and King Lion hold his head sideways and listen. He say, "I still hears it, Mr. Elephant, and if you are cured I done caught the thing you had." Mr. Cricket went a little louder, and King Lion begun to back off like he had business to tend to.
Mr. Tiger say, "Where you going? I hope you ain't scared of Brer Elephant, 'cause he ain't going to hurt you. If you going any where, you better turn 'round and go right."
But King Lion ain't pay no attention to Mr. Tiger; he just back off, he did, and wave his tail and shake his mane. Mr. Cricket begun to whistle louder and flutter his wings, and make 'em zoom like a locust. King Lion say, "I hear the wind a-blowing and I better get home to my wife and chillun," and off he put, running like he was going after the doctor.
Mr. Tiger laugh, and say that some folks is so funny he don't know what to make of 'em. They stayed there confabbing, and by and by they hear a fuss, and here come King Lion going as hard as he can. Trying for to get away from the fuss in his ear, he had run all round till he come back again to where he start from. He had his tongue out, and his tail was drooping; he was mighty nigh wore out.
He say, "Heyo! What you all doing here? I had the idea that I left you back yonder where I come from."
Mr. Elephant allow, "We ain't scarcely move out of our tracks. You run away and left us, and here you is back; what the name of goodness is the matter with you?"
King Lion say, "I done got a whistling in my head, and look like I can't escape from it. It's in there yet, and I don't know what I'm going to do about it."
Mr. Elephant say, "Do like I done—stand it the best you can."
Brer Tiger allow, "I hear it, and it sound exactly like you was about to boil over, and when you does I want to be out of the way."
By that time little Mr. Cricket had done made a flying jump and lit on Mr. Tiger, and it weren't long 'fore he was snug in Mr. Tiger ear. Mr. Tiger listen, he did, and then he begun to back off and wave his tail.
Mr. Elephant swing his snout, and say, "What the matter, Mr. Tiger? I hope you ain't thinking about leaving us." But Mr. Tiger was done gone. He just flit away.
Long about that time, Mr. Rabbit come loping up, laughing fit to kill. He allow, "Brer Cricket say he going to make you all run and that's just what he done. Both of you been running 'cause I see you panting, and if you'll just wait here, Mr. Cricket will fetch Mr. Tiger back safe and sound."
And they ain't had to wait long, neither, 'cause by and by, here come Mr. Tiger, tongue out and tail a-drooping. He say, "Hello! How come you all to outrun me? I got the idea that you was back yonder in the woods where I come from."
And then they got to laughing at him, and they laugh till they can't laugh no more. Mr. Cricket jump out of Mr. Tiger's ear, and get in the grass, and by and by he show hisself. He come close up with a "Howdy do, gents?' and they pass the time of day with him.
By and by Mr. Elephant allow, "Mr. Cricket, ain't you say the other day that you was going to make we all run?"
And Mr. Cricket, he make answer, "Why, I wouldn't talk about running if I'd been running same as what you been doing."
Mr. Elephant swing his snout kind of slow and say, "How you know I been running?"
Mr. Cricket allow, "I know because if I hadn't've held on monstrous tight, I'd've fell off; more than that, if I hadn't've stopped singing and whistling you'd've been running yet."
Mr. Elephant shu his two little eyes, and say, "Well, sir!"
The others mostly got away from them parts, 'cause they was scared Mr. Cricket would get on 'em again. King Lion say he got to look after some fresh meat what he got, Mr. Elephant say he pleased to go and cut some grass, and Mr. Tiger allow that he got to hunt up some vittles for his family. And as for Mr. Cricket, he climb on Brer Rabbit's back, and they mosied off somewheres, I don't know where. All I know is that they giggle as they went.
C150. When Brer Rabbit Was King
7. When Brother Rabbit Was King. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story.
Way back yonder, most 'fore the time when folks got in the habits of dreaming dreams, there was a King and this here King king'd it over all of 'em what was there, more specially the critters, 'cause what folks there was ain't know nothing at all about whether they need any kinging or not; look like they didn't count.
He hear something growling and howling and whining, and he ask what it was. Some of them what wait on the King shook their heads and say that if the King was there he wouldn't pay no attention to the racket for the longest; they say that the biggest kind of fuss ain't disturb the King, 'cause he'd just sit right flat and wait for someone to come tell somebody what the rumpus is about, and then that other somebody would tell someone else, and maybe about dinner-time the King would find out what going on, when all he had to do was to look out the window and see for hisself.
WHEN BRER RABBIT WAS KING
Way back yonder, most 'fore the time when folks got in the habits of dreaming dreams, there was a King and this here King king'd it over all of 'em what was there, more specially the critters, 'cause what folks there was ain't know nothing at all about whether they need any kinging or not; look like they didn't count.
Well, this here King what I'm a-telling you about had pretty well growed up at the business, and the time come when he got mighty tired of sitting in one place and holding a crown on his head for to keep it from falling on the floor. He say to hisself that he want to get out and get the fresh air, and have some fun along with them what he been kinging over. He allow that he want to fix it so that he ain't a-caring whether school keep or no, and he ask 'em all what the best thing he can do.
Well, one say one thing and the other say another, but by and by some of 'em chipped in and say that the best way to have fun is to go fishing, and this kind of hit the King right in the middle of his notions.
He jump up and crack his heels together, he did, and he say that that's what he been thinking about all the time. A-fishing it was and a-fishing he'd go, if his life was spared till he can get to the creek. And, with that, there was a mighty stirring round amongst them what he was a-kinging over; some of 'em run off to get fishing-poles, and some run for to dig bait, and some run for to get the bottle, and there they had it—you'd've thunk that all creation was going fishing.
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When everything got good and ready, and the King was about to start off, old Brer Rabbit kind of hung his head on one side and set up a snigger. The King, he look astonished and then he allow, "What's the joke, old friend?"
"Well," says old Brer Rabbit, says he, "it look like to me that you about to go off and forget something. It ain't none of my business, but I couldn't help from giggling."
The King, he say, "Up and out with it, old friend; let's hear the worst there is to hear."
Old Brer Rabbit, he say, says he, "I don't know if it makes any difference, but who going to do the kinging whiles you gone a-fishing?"
Well, the King look like he was mightily took back; he flung up both hands and sat right flat in a chair, and then he allow, "I done got so that I'm the forgettingest critter what live on top of the ground; you may hunt high and low and you won't never find them what can beat me a-forgetting. Here I was about for to go off and leave the whole business at sixes and sevens."
Old Brer Rabbit, he say, says he, "Oh, I expect that would've been all right; there ain't likely to be no hurricane, nor no freshet whiles you gone."
The King, he allow, "That ain't the thing; here I was about to go off on a frolic and leave everything for to look after itself. What you reckon folks would've said? I tell you now, there ain't no fun in being a King, 'cause your time ain't your own, and you can't turn round without skinning your shins on some by-law or another. 'Fore I go, if go I does, I got to appoint somebody for to take my place and be King whiles I'm gone; and if it weren't that, it'd be something else, and so there you go year in and year out."
He sat there, he did, and study and study, and by and by he say, says he, "Brer Rabbit, supposing you take my place whiles I'm gone? I'll pay you well; all you got to do is to sit right flat in a chair and make a dollar a day."
Old Brer Rabbit say that would suit him mighty well, 'cause he pleased for to have some money so he can buy his old woman a calico dress.
Well, it ain't take 'em long for to fix it all up, and so Brer Rabbit, he done the kinging whiles the King gone a-fishin'. He made the job a mighty easy one, 'cause instead of sitting up and holding the crown on his head, he tied some strings on it and fix it so it'd stay on his head without holding.
Well, when the King went a-fishing, he went the back way, and he ain't more than got out the gate till old Brer Rabbit hear a big rumpus in the front yard.
He hear something growling and howling and whining, and he ask what it was. Some of them what wait on the King shook their heads and say that if the King was there he wouldn't pay no attention to the racket for the longest; they say that the biggest kind of fuss ain't disturb the King, 'cause he'd just sit right flat and wait for someone to come tell somebody what the rumpus is about, and then that other somebody would tell someone else, and maybe about dinner-time the King would find out what going on, when all he had to do was to look out the window and see for hisself.
When old Brer Rabbit hear that, he lay back as well as he can with that there crown on top of his head, and make out he taking a nap.
After so long a time, word come that Mr. Dog was out there in the entry where they all had to wait at, and he sent word that he pleased to see the King. Old Brer Rabbit, he sat there, he did, and do like he studying, and after so long a time, he tell 'em for to fetch Mr. Dog in and let him say what he got to say.
Well, Mr. Dog come creeping in, he did, and he look mighty humble-come-tumble. He was so poor that it look like you can see every bone in his body and he was mangy looking. His head hung down, and he was kind of shivering like he was cold.
Brer Rabbit make out he trying for to fix the crown on his head so it'll sit up straight, but all the time he was looking at Mr. Dog for to see if he knowed him—and sure enough, he did, 'cause it was the same Mr. Dog what done give him many a long chase.
Well, Mr. Dog, he stood there with his head hanging down and his tail between his legs. Everything was so still and solemn that he begun to get uneasy, and he look round for to see if there's any way for to get out without running over somebody. There ain't no way, and so Mr. Dog sort of wiggle the end of his tail for to show that he ain't mad, and he stood there expecting that every minute would be the next.
By and by, somebody say, "Who that want to see the King and what business is he got with him?"
When Mr. Dog hear that, the howl that he set up might've been heard a mile or more. He up and allow, he did, that him and all his tribe, and more specially his kinnery, is been having the worse times that anybody ever is hear tell of. He say that where they used to get meat, they now gets bones, and mighty few of them, and where they used to be fat, they now has to lean up again the fence, and lean mighty hard, if they want to make a shadow. Mr. Dog had lots more to say, but the long and the short of it was that him and his kinnery weren't treated right.
Old Brer Rabbit, which he playing King for the day, he kind of study, and then he clear up his throat and look solemn. He ask if there's any turpentine out there in the back yard or in the cellar where they keep the harness grease, and when they say they expect there's a drop or two left, old Brer Rabbit tell 'em for to fetch it in, and then he tell 'em to get a pound of red pepper and mix it with the turpentine. So said, so done. They grab Mr. Dog, and rub the turpentine and red pepper from head to heel, and when he holler they run him out of the place where the kinging was done at.
Well, time went on, and one day followed another just like they does now, and Mr. Dog ain't never gone back home, where his tribe and his kinnery was waiting for him. They wait, and they wait, and by and by they begun to get uneasy. Then they wait some more but it get so they can't stand it no longer, and then a whole passel of 'em went to the house where they do the kinging at, and make some inquirements about Mr. Dog.
Them that live at the King's house up and tell 'em that Mr. Dog done come and gone. They say he got what he come after, and if he ain't gone back home they don't know where he is. They told about the poor mouth he put up, and they say that they give him pretty well all that a gentleman dog could ask for.
The other dogs say that Mr. Dog ain't never come back home, and them what live at the King's house say they mighty sorry for to hear such bad news, and they tell the dogs that they better hunt him up and find out what he done with that what the king give him. The dogs ask how they going to know him when they find him, and them at the King's house say they can tell him by the smell, 'cause they put some turpentine and red pepper on him for to kill the fleas and cure the bites.
Well, since that day the other dogs been hunting for the dog what went to the King's house; and how does they hunt? It ain't no needs for to tell you, 'cause you know point-blank as good as I can tell you. Since that day and hour they been smelling for him. They smells on the ground for to see if he been along there; they smells the trees, the stumps, and the bushes, and when they comes up with another dog that they ain't never seed before, they smells him good for to see if he got any red pepper and turpentine on him; and if you'll take notice they sometimes smells at a bush or a stump, and their bristles will rise, and they'll paw the ground with their fore feet, and likewise with their behind feet, and growl like they are mad. When they do that, they are telling you what they going to do when they get hold of that dog what went to the King's house and ain't never come back.
C151. How Old Craney-Crow Lost His Head
8. How Old Craney-Crow Lost His Head. Text Source: Told by Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris. Online at Project Gutenberg. I have removed the frame material and standardized the spelling; click here for the original spelling plus all notes to the story. Talking to the little boy Uncle Remus says that Craney-Crow is the old name for what they now call blue cranes.
There was one time—I don't know the day, and I don't know the year, but it was one time—there come a big storm. The wing blowed a hurricane, and the rain rained like all the sky and the clouds in it done been turn to water. The wind blowed so hard that it lifted old Craney-Crow from his roost in the lagoons way down yonder where they live at, and fetch him up in these parts, and when he come, he come a-whirling. The wind took him up, it did, and turn him round and round, and when he lit where he did, he stagger just like he was drunk—you know how you feel when you been turning round and round. Well, that was the way with him; he was so drunk that he had to lean up against a tree.
HOW OLD CRANEY-CROW LOST HIS HEAD
There was one time—I don't know the day, and I don't know the year, but it was one time—there come a big storm. The wing blowed a hurricane, and the rain rained like all the sky and the clouds in it done been turn to water. The wind blowed so hard that it lifted old Craney-Crow from his roost in the lagoons way down yonder where they live at, and fetch him up in these parts, and when he come, he come a-whirling. The wind took him up, it did, and turn him round and round, and when he lit where he did, he stagger just like he was drunk—you know how you feel when you been turning round and round. Well, that was the way with him; he was so drunk that he had to lean up against a tree.
But it weren't long 'fore he begun to feel all right, and he look round for to see where he at. He look and he look, but he ain't find out, 'cause he was a mighty far ways from home. Yet he feel the water half-way up his legs, and if old Craney-Crow is in a place where he can do a little wading, he kind of has the home-feeling—you know how that is yourself. Well, there he was, a mighty far ways from home, and yet up to his knees in water, and he just stood there, he did, and took his ease, hoping for better times by and by.
Now the place where he was blowed to was Long Cane Swamp. It ain't only just a Swamp; it's something worse than that. You can stand in the middle of it, and most hear it catch its breath, and that what make I say that it ain't no Swamp, for all it look like one. Well, there was old Craney-Crow, and there was the thing you call the Swamp, and by and by the sun riz and let his lamp shine in there in places; an then old Craney-Crow had time for to look round and see where he was at. But when he find out, he ain't know no more than what he know at first.
Now, you can say what you please, and you can laugh if you want to, but I'm a-going to tell you that the Swamp knowed that there was somebody there what ain't belong there. If you ask me how the Swamp knowed, I'll shake my head and shut my eyes; and if you ask me how I know it knowed, I'll just laugh at you. You'll had to take my word or leave it, I don't care which. But there it was. The Swamp knowed that somebody was there what ain't belong there, and it went to sleep and had bad dreams, and it keep on having them dreams all day long. The Swamp, being wide-awake all night long, is pleased to sleep enduring of the day, and so, with old Craney-Crow standing in the water, when the sun rise up, the Swamp know that something was wrong, and it went to sleep and had mighty bad dreams.
The sun riz and riz; it come up on one side of the Swamp, and after so long a time stood over it and look down for to see what the matter. But bright as the lamp of the sun was, it can't light up the Swamp, and so it went on over and went down on the other side. The day was in about like these days is, and whiles the sun was searching round trying for to find out what the trouble is in the Swamp, old Craney-Crow was wading about in the water trying to find some frog steak for his dinner, or maybe a fish for to whet his appetite on. But there weren't nary frog nor nary fish, 'cause the Swamp done gone to sleep. The more old Craney-Crow waded the more shallerer the water got, till by and by day weren't enough for to more than wet his foots.
He say, "Hey! how come this?" But he ain't got no answer, 'cause the Swamp, with all its bad dreams, was sound asleep.
There was pools of water round and about, and old Craney-Crow went from one to the other, and from other to the other, but it ain't do him no good. He went and stood by 'em, he did, but whiles he standing there, there weren't a riffle on top of 'em. By and by he got tired of walking about, and he stood on one leg for to rest hisself—though if anybody'll tell me how you going to rest yourself with standing on one leg, I'll sit up and tell 'em tales from now till Christmas, 'cause if I get tired I can stand on one leg and do my resting that a-way.
Well, then, there was old Craney-Crow, and there was the Swamp. Old Craney-Crow was wide-awake, but the Swamp was fast asleep and dreaming bad dreams like a wild horse and wagon going down hill. But the Swamp weren't no stiller than old Craney-Crow, standing on one leg with one eye looking in the tops of the trees, and the other one looking down in the grass. But in the Swamp or out of the Swamp, time goes on and night drops down, and that's the way it done this time. And when night dropped down, the Swamp kind of stretch itself and begun to wake up.
Old Brer Mud Turkle opened his eyes and sneeze so hard that he roll off the bank into the water—kersplash—and he so close to old Craney-Crow that he fetched a hop sideways, and come mighty nigh stepping on Mr. Billy Black Snake. This scared him so that he fetched another hop, and mighty nigh lit on the frog what he been hunting for. The frog he say "Hey!" and dove in the mud-puddle.
After that, when old Craney-Crow move about, he lift his foots high, and he done like the ladies does when they walk in a wet place. The whole caboodle was brand new to old Craney-Crow, and he look with all his eyes, and listen with all his ears. There was something or other going on, but he can't make out what it was. He ain't never is been in no swamp before, more specially a Swamp what got life in it. He been used to marshy places, where there ain't nothing but water and high grass, but there where he find hisself after the hurricane, there weren't no big sight of water, and what grass there was, weren't longer than your finger. Instead of grass and water, there was vines, and reeds, and trees with moss on 'em that made 'em look like Grandsire Graybeard, and the vines and creepers look like they was reaching out for him.
He walked about, he did, like the ground was hot, and when he walk he look like he was on stilts, his legs was so long. He hunt round for a place for to sleep, and whiles he was doing that he took notice that there was something or other going on that he ain't never is see the like of. The jacky-my-lanterns, they lit up and went sailing round just like they was hunting for him and the frogs, they holler at him with, "What you doing here? What you doing here?" Mr. Coon rack by and laugh at him; Mr. Billy Gray Fox peep out of the bushes and bark at him; Mr. Mink show him the green eyes, and Mr. Whippoorwill scold him.
He move about, he did, and after so long a time they let him alone, and then when there weren't nobody nor nothing pestering him, he begun to look round for hisself. Peeping first in one bush and then in another, he took notice that all the birds what fly by day had done gone to bed without their heads. Look where he might, old Craney-Crow ain't see nary a bird but what had done took his head off 'fore he went to bed. Look close as he kin, he ain't see no bird with a head on. This make him wonder, and he ask hisself how come this, and the onliest answer what he can think and is that going to bed with their heads on was done gone out of fashion in that part of the country.
Now, you can say what you please about the critters and their kin — about the fowls that fly, and the feathery critters what run on the ground — you can say what you please about 'em, but they got pride; they don't want to be out of the fashion. When it comes to that, they are pretty much like folks, and that was the way with old Craney-Crow; he don't want to be out o* fashion. He ashamed for to go to bed like he always been doing, 'cause he ain't want the others for to laugh and say he was from the country district, where they don't know much. Yet, study as he might, he don't know which a-way to do for to get his head off. The others had their heads under their wing. But he ain't know that.
He look round, he did, for to see if they ain't someone he can ask about it, and he ain't had to look long neither, for there, sitting right at him, was old Brer Pop-Eye. Nobody in all the round world but Brer Rabbit! He had one name for the upland and another name for the bottom land — the swamps and the drains. Wheresomever there was any mischieviousness going on, right there was Brer Rabbit as big as life and twice as natural. He was so close to old Craney-Crow that he had to jump when he seed him.
Brer Pop-Eye say, "No needs for to be scared, friend Craney-Crow. You may be more than sure that I'm a well-wisher."
Old Craney-Crow allow, "It do me good for to hear you say so, Mr. Pop-Eye, and seeing that it's you and not someone else; I don't mind asking you how all the flying birds takes their heads off when they go to bed. it sure stumps me."
Brer Pop-Eye say, "And no wonder, friend Craney-Crow, 'cause you are stranger in there parts. There ain't nothing to hide about it. The mosquitoes is been so bad in this Swamp since the year one, and enduring of the time what's gone by, that them what live here done got in the habits of taking off their heads and putting 'em in a safe place."
The Craney-Crow allow, "But how in the name of goodness does they do it, Brer Pop-Eye?"
Mr. Pop-Eye laugh to hisself 'way down in his gizzard. He say, "They don't do it by theyself, 'cause that'd be asking too much. Oh, no! They got someone hired for to do that kind of work."
"And where can I find him, Brer Pop-Eye?" says old Craney-Crow, says he.
Brer Pop-Eye allow, "He'll be round directly; he always have to go round for to see that he ain't miss none of 'em."
Old Craney-Crow sort of study, he did, and then he allow, "How does they get their heads back on, Brer Pop-Eye?"
Brer Pop-Eye shook his head. He say, "I'd tell you if I knowed, but I had to stay up so much at night, that 'long about the time when they gets their heads put on, I'm sound asleep and snoring right along. If you say so, I'll hunt up the doctor what does the business, and I expect he'll accommodate you—I can promise you that much, since you been so polite."
Old Craney-Crow laugh and say, "I done find out in my time that there don't nothing pay like politeness, specially if she's genuine."
With that, Brer Pop-Eye put out, he did, for to find Brer Wolf. Knowing pretty well where he was, it weren't long 'fore here they come galloping back.
Brer Pop-Eye say, "Mr. Craney-Crow, this is Mr. Doc Wolf; Mr. Doc Wolf, this is Mr. Craney-Crow; glad for to make you acquainted, gents."
After they been made acquainted, old Craney-Crow tell Doc Wolf about his troubles, and how he want to do like the rest of the flying critters, and Doc Wolf rub his chin and put his thumb in his waistcoat pocket for all the world like a sure enough doctor. He say to old Craney-Crow that he ain't so mighty certain and sure that he can help him much. He say that in all his born days he ain't never see no flying critter with such a long neck, and that he'll had to be mighty particular how he fool with it.
He went close, he did, and feel of it and fumble with it, and all the time his mouth was watering. He say, "You'll have to hold you head lower, Mr. Craney-Crow," and with that he snap down on it, and that was the last of that Craney-Crow. He ain't never see his home no more, and more than that, old Doc Wolf slung him across his back and cantered off home.
And that's the reason that the Craney-Crows all fly so fast when they come through this part of the country.
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